When She Cries

"Elle, Baby, come on. You're just going to make yourself worse," I heard Zacky say, trying to calm her down. He had gotten to her before she was able to lock anyone out. I was now standing outside the door with Jimmy, not knowing what to do.

I can't believe she just heard me say that... I know it's killing her inside right now, but what I said was a mistake. Me and my stupid ass mouth.

"Here," Val said, handing me a hot, damp wash clothe. We found it was useful when Elle was crying. If we could get her to lay down then put it over her eyes or neck, she seemed to calm down a little bit. I gave Val an unsure look, but she nodded. "Go and comfort her, that's what she needs."

I took in a deep breath, before opening the door slowly. Elle was sitting on the floor, her head in Zacky's lap as she continued to cry. He sat there silently, running his fingers through her hair. When he saw me come in, he gave me a look, before getting Elle's attention.

When she looked up, my heart broke. Her eyes were swollen with anger, hurt, and betrayal. To know I put that look in her eyes made me hate myself even more.

"Let's go lay down on your bed, yeah?" Zacky said softly, while trying to help her up. He picked her up and carried her over, gently laying her down, before walking out.

I walked over to her, cautiously sitting on the edge of the bed. "Here, this'll help," I said softly, handing her the wash clothe. She tried refusing it, and I sighed. "Please, Elle?" I asked, barely above a whisper. She took the wash clothe and just looked at it in her hands. "I know what you heard, and I didn't mean for you to. I'm sorry you did. I was angry with myself because I seem to keep screwing up. I'm just not good at this thing. Most parents have seventeen years to get the hang of things, but I didn't." I placed my hand on her knee. "And I'm sorry for that." She looked up at me now. "If I could have been there, Baby, I would have. But your mother was so against me seeing you, and I don't know why..." I shook my head, sighing. Before I could say anything else, she threw her arms around me, burring her face into my neck.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

I was confused. "For what?"

"For being so childish," she mumbled. "And being such a pain in the ass."

I sighed. "Me too, baby. I'm the one that shouldn't have pushed things so hard on you. I promise to watch myself more on that." She pulled away and nodded. "Now, why don't you lay down?" When I went to get up, she grabbed my hand.

"Stay with me?" She asked softly.

I smiled. "Scoot over." I lay down next to her, before pulling her into my arms. She lay her head on my chest and closed her eyes before I put the wash clothe over her eyes. "Why is the wash clothe so soothing to you?" I asked curiously.

"Because it helps my eyes not hurt as much," she mumbled. Well that was a good reason...

"Dad?" She asked just above a whisper.

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

She hesitated a bit. "Can you tell me about Mom? Before you guys broke up."

I sighed. "I think it might be easier if you ask Uncle Jimmy about her," I said softly, not really wanting to go down that painful road.

"I will, but I want to know your side, too." I guess I wasn't getting out of this one...

"Well, I knew your mom since I was in the second grade. Of course we fought all the time, up until we were at the end of Middle School. That's when we started to become interested in each other. She was really sweet back then, but knew how to kick someone's ass." I felt her flinch when I said this. I thought for a few seconds. "Elle, what all happened when Natalie was alive?"

She was quiet for a long time. "Bad things," she whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for what was to come. "What kind of bad things?"

"If I didn't do something right, I always got in trouble for it. Then, after Mom got pregnant, I was always doing something wrong. But, I was soon forgotten after the baby was born. For a few months, anyways. I just had to make sure to stay unseen and everything was fine."

"Why did they not want you to dance anymore?"

I felt her hands clench around my shirt as she started to shake slightly. “Because they thought it was a waste of time. It only angered Mom more when I had forgotten that I had left my dance shoes in the living room one day. It was when she was pregnant. She had tripped over them, and it only made her even more mad."

She stayed quiet after that, and I didn't want to push her. "Elle, if your mom hadn't of ran off with you, you know I would have been in your life, right?" I asked her a little while later. She didn't answer me, though and I knew she had fallen asleep.

I carefully crawled out from under her, before tucking the blankets around her and surrounding her in pillows. It was the only way she could sleep, and I thought that was cute. Don't ask me why...

When I got back down stairs, everyone had jumped and started asking questions. "She's okay now. We got a little bit cleared up." I flopped down onto the couch, throwing my arm over my eyes.

"You guys talked for a while. What did she say?" Jimmy asked.

I sighed, looking over at him. "She asked about Natalie." Everyone froze, shock written on their faces. I just nodded. "She asked what she was like. I told her it might be better if she asked Jimmy, and she said she would, but she wanted my view also. So, heads up, Man," I told Jimmy.

He groaned, leaning back into the couch, running his hands down his face. "What should I tell her?"

I shrugged. "The truth."

Val seemed to be getting fidgety about something. I gave her a confused look. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?" She asked softly.

I nodded, and followed after her. "What's wrong?"

She kept fidgeting with her hands, while trying to figure out what to say. Finally, she sighed and looked up at me. "Matt, I'm pregnant."

Things just got even more complicated...