Love Complicates Everything

Two and a half years later I sat in the official Tokio Hotel tourbus, scrolling down my iPod, looking for some songs to entertain myself.

"Hey, where's Tom?" Gustav asked.

I shrugged.

"How would I know? He's probably out fucking some groupie. Again."

"Why don't you ever know where your brother is? I thought that you two were, like, inseperable."

"Used to be," I replied.

"Well, what happened?"

"We grew up." I said coldly.

I chose a Green Day song, turned the sound up all the way, and looked out the window.

Yeah, we used to be inseperable. What happened, Tom?

They told us to end our relationship. For the band.

I said to him, "Let's continue it in secret, like we used to do. It's better this way: no one ever has to know!"

He didn't think that it would work out.

"Too risky," he'd said.

I told him that I would wait for him. My heart would never be with anyone else. I'd wait for almost 5 years, until we were 18 and could do what we wanted.

He promised to wait for me,too.

He waited 3 weeks.

Then he moved on to... girls.

Now it hurts to look at him. To look him in the eye and know that he treated our love like a childhood game. To see that it obviously all meant nothing to him. I feel like he used me. I still feel that way.

And he doesn't even care. He never notices when I cry myself to slep over him. He doesn't even care that I'm screaming on the inside for him to touch me and look at me like he used to.

But then I imagine him kissing me, touching me with those tainted lips that have kissed so many strange girls...

It makes me sick to see what my brother's become.

He's a whore. A playboy. And an asshole.

And he never notices how much it tears me apart. He doesn't even talk to me anymore.

We're like strangers now.

Actually, worse.

I've met strangers who are nicer to me.

Tom entered the tourbus, grinning like a fool.

"Hey, dude! Were you with some girl?" Georg asked.

"No," Tom replied. "I was with three."

I rolled my eyes. This was getting pathetic.

I stood up, put on my coat ,and left.

Of course, no one even cared where I was going. I could be dead, lying in the street somewhere and no one would even notice. Well, maybe the fans. But not the people who supposedly love me.