Love Complicates Everything
Chapter 13
Later, when we were back at the hotel, Samara came with me into my room. She started kissing me, but then stopped.
"Bill, I need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's wrong?"
"Well...it's just that...I heard a rumour about you..."
"What kind of rumour?"
"Someone told me that you were gay."
Dammit.
"Who the hell told you that?"
"Um... they told me not to tell you, sorry. But it's not true, right?"
I shook my head.
"No, of course not!" I lied. I hated lying to her, but I just couldn't help it...
"Good."
She took out her bag and grabbed a bottle of beer.
"Would you like one?"
I shrugged.
"Sure."
I've only had beer that one time on the night that I met her, and I'm not even legally old enough to drink, but I didn't want to seem uncool.
I guess that's just what happens when you make new friends: you just want to impress them.
"Bill?"
"Yeah?"
"I was just wandering... have you ever...how can I say this? Have you ever used any...illegal substances?"
"What?! Do you mean like...drugs?"
"Yeah...sorta."
"Um, no, of course not! Have you?"
She gave me a guilty smile.
"Really?"
"Well...they're not really as bad as they seem!"
"But aren't they illegal for a reason? Can't people like, die if they do drugs."
She laughed.
"No, of course not! They're perfectly harmless!"
I wasn't sure how to reply to that...
"See, the people who've never tried it don't understand!"
I sighed.
"Well... ok, then. What kind of drugs have you tried? Cocaine?"
"Sure."
"Heroin?"
"The best."
"Opium?"
"Guilty!"
"Damn... Well if you've tried all of those and are still alive then i guess it shouldn't be that bad..."
"I told you! And not only am I still alive, I'm happy, too."
"True."
"So would you like to try some?"
"I don't know... I guess I can try it."
"Good! We start tomorrow."
I was a little disappointed.
"Why not now?"
"I'm out. I have to go to a dealer tomorrow and get some more."
"Oh. Ok, then. But how are you going to find a dealer?"
She shrugged.
"It's not that hard. There are usually a few crackhouses in the run down parts of town. On second thought... I should go look now before we hit the road again."
She got up and grabbed her purse.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
She laughed.
"No, it's ok. Besides, I don't think that you should be out at this time of night searching for crackhouses."
"Why?"
"Because you're famous, duh! A lot of people would love to take advantage of you!"
I sighed.
"You're right. well... just be careful, please?"
"I will."
She kissed me.
"I'll be back soon."
Samara left, leaving me to boredom, just watching tv and drinking beer.
I had at least 5 bottles...
I heard a knock on the hotel room door.
I was surprised to see that it was Tom.
"What do you want?" I asked as soon as I opned the door.
"Jeez, what a rude way to greet your own flesh and blood! Calm dow. I was just told to tell you that we're leaving at 10 tomorrow morning."
"Ok. Sorry," I mumbled.
Suddenly Tom made a face.
"Eww... what smells? Have you been drinking beer?"
"A little..."
I guess I hadn't realized that i was getting slightly drunk...
"Since when the hell do you drink?"
"Why do you care? You're never around anyways! I don't even feel like I've got a fuking brother anymore!"
"Well... don't blame it all on me! You've changed too! What about this new bitch that you've been hanging out with?"
"Shut up!"
"Oh, where is she now? Did she go back to the crackhouse? The slut... She's probably just using you!"
"SHUT UP! You don't even know her!"
"Yeah? Well she doesn't even know you! Did you tell her that you're gay? I didn't think so..."
"Please jut shut up!"
"Why? Why should I? Why don't you just get your gay ass a boyfriend and stop trying to fool everyone with this girlfriend shit! 'Cus you're not fooling me!"
"how could I ever like another guy... another person at all...when i never stopped loving you?"
The words came out of my mouth before I could even think. word vomit. Maybe it's because he was making me so mad or because I was drunk, I don't know. But I was a small bit relieved that I finally said it.
But I wasn't finished yet.
"Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you seriously don't love me anymore the way you used to?"
I leaned up against him. We were still in the doorway of the hotel room, and anybody walking by could see us, so I know that I was being incredibly stupid, but I didn't care.
I whispered in his ear, "Can you tell me that you never think of kissing me again? Of feeling this...?"
I slowly slipped my hand down the front of his pants.
He moaned, but then he said , "Stop, Bill! You're drunk!"
"Am I?"
I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as hard as I could. And he kissed back. I playfully bit at his bottom lip, my tounge in his mouth, causing him to moam again.
He was so mine...
Or so I thought. But then something unexpected happened.
I heard a ping! and the elevator doors opened. And Samara came out.
When she saw us, I could tell that she was hurt.
She walked up to me and slapped me.
"What the fuck, Bill? I believed you when you said that you weren't gay, even though your own brother told me that you were, but I guess that he would know!"
She looked at us, clearly disgusted.
It was like a blur, I was so drunk I can't even remember clearly what happened.
I remember seeing her in front of me, tears falling down her cheeks. I think that next she ran. Somewhere, I don't remember where.
Then I fainted. I don't know what happened for the next few hours.
I only remember waking up to hear someone tell me that they had found Samara. She was found on the streets, and had been stabbed, and at this point they weren't sure if she was going to make it.
"Bill, I need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's wrong?"
"Well...it's just that...I heard a rumour about you..."
"What kind of rumour?"
"Someone told me that you were gay."
Dammit.
"Who the hell told you that?"
"Um... they told me not to tell you, sorry. But it's not true, right?"
I shook my head.
"No, of course not!" I lied. I hated lying to her, but I just couldn't help it...
"Good."
She took out her bag and grabbed a bottle of beer.
"Would you like one?"
I shrugged.
"Sure."
I've only had beer that one time on the night that I met her, and I'm not even legally old enough to drink, but I didn't want to seem uncool.
I guess that's just what happens when you make new friends: you just want to impress them.
"Bill?"
"Yeah?"
"I was just wandering... have you ever...how can I say this? Have you ever used any...illegal substances?"
"What?! Do you mean like...drugs?"
"Yeah...sorta."
"Um, no, of course not! Have you?"
She gave me a guilty smile.
"Really?"
"Well...they're not really as bad as they seem!"
"But aren't they illegal for a reason? Can't people like, die if they do drugs."
She laughed.
"No, of course not! They're perfectly harmless!"
I wasn't sure how to reply to that...
"See, the people who've never tried it don't understand!"
I sighed.
"Well... ok, then. What kind of drugs have you tried? Cocaine?"
"Sure."
"Heroin?"
"The best."
"Opium?"
"Guilty!"
"Damn... Well if you've tried all of those and are still alive then i guess it shouldn't be that bad..."
"I told you! And not only am I still alive, I'm happy, too."
"True."
"So would you like to try some?"
"I don't know... I guess I can try it."
"Good! We start tomorrow."
I was a little disappointed.
"Why not now?"
"I'm out. I have to go to a dealer tomorrow and get some more."
"Oh. Ok, then. But how are you going to find a dealer?"
She shrugged.
"It's not that hard. There are usually a few crackhouses in the run down parts of town. On second thought... I should go look now before we hit the road again."
She got up and grabbed her purse.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
She laughed.
"No, it's ok. Besides, I don't think that you should be out at this time of night searching for crackhouses."
"Why?"
"Because you're famous, duh! A lot of people would love to take advantage of you!"
I sighed.
"You're right. well... just be careful, please?"
"I will."
She kissed me.
"I'll be back soon."
Samara left, leaving me to boredom, just watching tv and drinking beer.
I had at least 5 bottles...
I heard a knock on the hotel room door.
I was surprised to see that it was Tom.
"What do you want?" I asked as soon as I opned the door.
"Jeez, what a rude way to greet your own flesh and blood! Calm dow. I was just told to tell you that we're leaving at 10 tomorrow morning."
"Ok. Sorry," I mumbled.
Suddenly Tom made a face.
"Eww... what smells? Have you been drinking beer?"
"A little..."
I guess I hadn't realized that i was getting slightly drunk...
"Since when the hell do you drink?"
"Why do you care? You're never around anyways! I don't even feel like I've got a fuking brother anymore!"
"Well... don't blame it all on me! You've changed too! What about this new bitch that you've been hanging out with?"
"Shut up!"
"Oh, where is she now? Did she go back to the crackhouse? The slut... She's probably just using you!"
"SHUT UP! You don't even know her!"
"Yeah? Well she doesn't even know you! Did you tell her that you're gay? I didn't think so..."
"Please jut shut up!"
"Why? Why should I? Why don't you just get your gay ass a boyfriend and stop trying to fool everyone with this girlfriend shit! 'Cus you're not fooling me!"
"how could I ever like another guy... another person at all...when i never stopped loving you?"
The words came out of my mouth before I could even think. word vomit. Maybe it's because he was making me so mad or because I was drunk, I don't know. But I was a small bit relieved that I finally said it.
But I wasn't finished yet.
"Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you seriously don't love me anymore the way you used to?"
I leaned up against him. We were still in the doorway of the hotel room, and anybody walking by could see us, so I know that I was being incredibly stupid, but I didn't care.
I whispered in his ear, "Can you tell me that you never think of kissing me again? Of feeling this...?"
I slowly slipped my hand down the front of his pants.
He moaned, but then he said , "Stop, Bill! You're drunk!"
"Am I?"
I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as hard as I could. And he kissed back. I playfully bit at his bottom lip, my tounge in his mouth, causing him to moam again.
He was so mine...
Or so I thought. But then something unexpected happened.
I heard a ping! and the elevator doors opened. And Samara came out.
When she saw us, I could tell that she was hurt.
She walked up to me and slapped me.
"What the fuck, Bill? I believed you when you said that you weren't gay, even though your own brother told me that you were, but I guess that he would know!"
She looked at us, clearly disgusted.
It was like a blur, I was so drunk I can't even remember clearly what happened.
I remember seeing her in front of me, tears falling down her cheeks. I think that next she ran. Somewhere, I don't remember where.
Then I fainted. I don't know what happened for the next few hours.
I only remember waking up to hear someone tell me that they had found Samara. She was found on the streets, and had been stabbed, and at this point they weren't sure if she was going to make it.