Love Complicates Everything
Chapter 16
I awoke in a hospital bed three days later.
I was surprised to see, of all people, Tom sitting next to me.
He looked sad, I realized. I winder what'd happened to make him upset. Did something happen to mom? Georg? Gustav? Andreas?
"Why are you so sad?" I asked.
Toms' head shot up as if in shock.
"Bill! You're awake!"
"I know..."
"Oh my god,I was so worried, Bill!"
"About what?"
"You! I was afraid that you were going to die."
"Ooooh, that."
I looked down at my shoulder and the slight movement caused it to hurt like hell.
"But why do you care? I thought that you hated me."
"I do care, and you couldn't possibly know how much I love you."
"What? But you don't act like you love me!"
"I know and I'm sorry for that. But I have a reason! A few actually..."
"Which are?"
"Well one, I was confused, because I don't think that I'm gay but I love you so much and two I just felt like it was so wrong! You're my brother, I shouldn't be feeling this way, right?
Three, I didn't know how it would effect the band. And the most important one... I strayed away from you because I was afraid of losing you."
Tears fell down from both of our faces.
"I didn't want to being too attached to you, or anyone, and depend on you too much because I knew that if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't be able to carry on. But now, almost losing you made me realize how much I wouldn't be able to live without you."
"Tom?"
"Yes?"
"That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard."
"What?!"
"If you were afraid of losing me, why ignore me and stay away from me? If anything, that probably made things worse!"
"I know, and I'm sorry. I really do love you, please give me a second chance! And if not as a lover, then at least as your brother!"
"I don't know... I can't take all of this right now! It's too much for me, and my shoulder hurts and I feel like shit... can you please just get me a nurse or something? We'll talk later."
He nodded sadly and left.
The next visitor was Andreas and he told me what happened. He filled in all of the blanks for me.
"Bill! I'm so glad that you're OK. After I beat that guy up, I thought that it might've been too late... too bad that the police couldn't catch him,though."
"What? What happened? You were the one who saved me?"
He sighed.
"Yes."
"How did you know where I was?"
"I followed you there. I was curious as to where you had been going to, and looking for answers."
"So that was you that I heard from behind the building!"
"Yeah."
"Well, why didn't you try to save me BEFORE he plunged a knife into me!"
"Sorry, I was a bit in shock to find out that you'd been doing drugs!"
"So...you know, now."
"Everyone knows!"
I sighed.
"Oh, shit. It's going to be hell when mom comes to visit."
"Bill... can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"OK. What I wanted to know was why? Why drugs?"
"I don't know. I never thought about it until Samara talked to me about them."
"Yeah, and you almost got yourself killed the same way that she did!"
"What?"
I realized that it was true. She was on her own and stabbed violently for no real reason. Was it a coincidence? Maybe I'm meant to die the same way as her. after all, I did kill her. And would it really be so bad if I died? I was already unloved and besides, I would have to live my life knowing that it's my fault that a sweet young girl is dead. Sometimes it's just too much to bear.
"Andreas?"
"Yeah?"
"How did they find out about the drugs? Did you...?"
"What? Oh, don't worry, I never told them!"
"So you don't care?"
"Of course I care! but I would've talked to you myself about the drugs, instead of having everyone find out."
"How did they find out?"
"Blood tests. There were still traces of morphine in your system."
"Oh. And who knows? Everyone?"
"Everyone."
"Including the press?"
He nodded.
I sighed.
"Oh no...my career is over!"
"I don't think so..."
"What?"
"Well I've read a few magazines in the past three days and people seem to like your wild side."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, before everyone was saying that you were too much of a good boy. Now all of the fan girls are saying how you're so much hotter as a bad boy and I think that they really like the change in personality. Cd sales have even gone up."
"Oh My God, seriously?"
He nodded, laughing.
"Weird, isn't it?"
I nodded in reply.
Andreas looked at his watch.
"I've got to go. I'll visit again tomorrow."
"OK. And then you can help me to plan my 16Th birthday party!"
I didn't like the look on his face...
"What's wrong?"
"Bill, you won't be able to celebrate your birthday. Well, at least not on the 1st of September."
"Why? It's because of my shoulder, right? Well I've been in worse pain, at least emotionally. I'll be fine!"
"That's not it..."
"Then why?"
He sighed.
"The police said...that they weren't going to arrest you for using illegal drugs... as long as you go to a six week recovery program at rehab."
"WHAT?"
"I'm sorry! But it's either that or jail. What you did was illegal."
I closed my eyes.
"I need sleep. Oh and Andreas?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you...please tell Tom...please tell him that I love him."
He nodded.
"I will."
And then he left.
I was surprised to see, of all people, Tom sitting next to me.
He looked sad, I realized. I winder what'd happened to make him upset. Did something happen to mom? Georg? Gustav? Andreas?
"Why are you so sad?" I asked.
Toms' head shot up as if in shock.
"Bill! You're awake!"
"I know..."
"Oh my god,I was so worried, Bill!"
"About what?"
"You! I was afraid that you were going to die."
"Ooooh, that."
I looked down at my shoulder and the slight movement caused it to hurt like hell.
"But why do you care? I thought that you hated me."
"I do care, and you couldn't possibly know how much I love you."
"What? But you don't act like you love me!"
"I know and I'm sorry for that. But I have a reason! A few actually..."
"Which are?"
"Well one, I was confused, because I don't think that I'm gay but I love you so much and two I just felt like it was so wrong! You're my brother, I shouldn't be feeling this way, right?
Three, I didn't know how it would effect the band. And the most important one... I strayed away from you because I was afraid of losing you."
Tears fell down from both of our faces.
"I didn't want to being too attached to you, or anyone, and depend on you too much because I knew that if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't be able to carry on. But now, almost losing you made me realize how much I wouldn't be able to live without you."
"Tom?"
"Yes?"
"That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard."
"What?!"
"If you were afraid of losing me, why ignore me and stay away from me? If anything, that probably made things worse!"
"I know, and I'm sorry. I really do love you, please give me a second chance! And if not as a lover, then at least as your brother!"
"I don't know... I can't take all of this right now! It's too much for me, and my shoulder hurts and I feel like shit... can you please just get me a nurse or something? We'll talk later."
He nodded sadly and left.
The next visitor was Andreas and he told me what happened. He filled in all of the blanks for me.
"Bill! I'm so glad that you're OK. After I beat that guy up, I thought that it might've been too late... too bad that the police couldn't catch him,though."
"What? What happened? You were the one who saved me?"
He sighed.
"Yes."
"How did you know where I was?"
"I followed you there. I was curious as to where you had been going to, and looking for answers."
"So that was you that I heard from behind the building!"
"Yeah."
"Well, why didn't you try to save me BEFORE he plunged a knife into me!"
"Sorry, I was a bit in shock to find out that you'd been doing drugs!"
"So...you know, now."
"Everyone knows!"
I sighed.
"Oh, shit. It's going to be hell when mom comes to visit."
"Bill... can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"OK. What I wanted to know was why? Why drugs?"
"I don't know. I never thought about it until Samara talked to me about them."
"Yeah, and you almost got yourself killed the same way that she did!"
"What?"
I realized that it was true. She was on her own and stabbed violently for no real reason. Was it a coincidence? Maybe I'm meant to die the same way as her. after all, I did kill her. And would it really be so bad if I died? I was already unloved and besides, I would have to live my life knowing that it's my fault that a sweet young girl is dead. Sometimes it's just too much to bear.
"Andreas?"
"Yeah?"
"How did they find out about the drugs? Did you...?"
"What? Oh, don't worry, I never told them!"
"So you don't care?"
"Of course I care! but I would've talked to you myself about the drugs, instead of having everyone find out."
"How did they find out?"
"Blood tests. There were still traces of morphine in your system."
"Oh. And who knows? Everyone?"
"Everyone."
"Including the press?"
He nodded.
I sighed.
"Oh no...my career is over!"
"I don't think so..."
"What?"
"Well I've read a few magazines in the past three days and people seem to like your wild side."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, before everyone was saying that you were too much of a good boy. Now all of the fan girls are saying how you're so much hotter as a bad boy and I think that they really like the change in personality. Cd sales have even gone up."
"Oh My God, seriously?"
He nodded, laughing.
"Weird, isn't it?"
I nodded in reply.
Andreas looked at his watch.
"I've got to go. I'll visit again tomorrow."
"OK. And then you can help me to plan my 16Th birthday party!"
I didn't like the look on his face...
"What's wrong?"
"Bill, you won't be able to celebrate your birthday. Well, at least not on the 1st of September."
"Why? It's because of my shoulder, right? Well I've been in worse pain, at least emotionally. I'll be fine!"
"That's not it..."
"Then why?"
He sighed.
"The police said...that they weren't going to arrest you for using illegal drugs... as long as you go to a six week recovery program at rehab."
"WHAT?"
"I'm sorry! But it's either that or jail. What you did was illegal."
I closed my eyes.
"I need sleep. Oh and Andreas?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you...please tell Tom...please tell him that I love him."
He nodded.
"I will."
And then he left.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for the comments =] I added my other story called How To Be Popular (Bill's a nerd in school and wants to change that =] ) please check it out and leave a comment =]