Are You Scared Yet?

Today had been utterly pointless. Not only had my “chosen heroine” not wanted me around—I can deal with that—but she is also wounded. Aside from the scratches and bruises, I could see her emotional ache in her eyes. There’s something she isn’t telling me, I thought. But then again, why would she? I’m just a boy she met the other day.

I avoided her all day after I had spoken to her—I knew she wanted me to… but should I do it yet again tomorrow? Would she approve of that? Or maybe she would enjoy someone to talk to. Technically, I have nothing to do with her personal life so I think I should maybe draw back but I—What in bloody hell am I thinking? I’m Brendan Lexington. I’m not going to spend my time concerned about a girl I don’t care about. But…

“Brendan, sir, are you okay?” Keith, my loyal servant asked. He's the only one who traveled with me here, so it's only him and I around, just like I requested. “I see you are flustered, no?”

I sighed, and moved the sheets around on my bed. There’s an excuse. “This suite isn’t good enough. Can they not afford a better thread count even? I demand we find a new place at once.”

Keith parked himself on his bed, which was across from mine, and sighed, “The same old Brendan.” He looked at me with bold green eyes. “Brendan, I’ve served you ever since you were just a small lad, and I know you all too well. I know that you mainly act stubborn to hide what you really think.” He paused for a short moment and looked off in the distance. “Hah! But don’t get me wrong, you can be a stubborn one! Just tell me what's bothering you. I won't spill a word to anyone, I promise.” Keith chuckled.

One thing he didn’t say is that it makes me feel secure to act like a proud Lexington, which isn’t quite how I actually think. I didn’t want to bicker, so instead I just let it out; I know I can trust Keith. “You know the role of a heroine, right?”

Keith grew an elated look on his face and his voice rose higher by a half-pitch. “Did you find your heroine, Brendan? Why, excellent!” He stood up. “I’ll go alert your father immediately to let him know the good news ab—”

“Stop.” I clearly stated. He sat back down with a puzzled look. “Tell me Keith, why do we have to select a brilliant girl that we adore, just to slay her? I haven’t chosen a heroine yet, but I don’t think I want to.” I gave him a serious look. “Maybe if I could decide on a girl I don’t feel affection for?”

Keith sighed, “No Brendan, that’s not how it works. It’s easy to tell if they’re actually your love interest, I assure you. One thing you don’t know though is something I am not allowed to tell you…but since I know you won’t abuse the knowledge, I’ll tell you. You’re father, and many before that couldn’t handle it. They proceeded terribly. You aren’t supposed to actually drain the body to death, but to bite and then be able to let go—one of the hardest tests for us.”

“So if you go back to your history, it’s been centuries since anyone has actually been able to let go with everyone’s eyes on them and the stress. You aren’t able to drink for a full month, and then you go to the ceremony. They tell you some lie to get you from drinking, but when it comes down to it, it’s a foolish test to prove love, when really it just kills them inside. Ever heard the term, love kills? Well, literally, it does in this case.”

My head ached in shock, but all I could manage to do was shake my head. “I don’t have a love interest, and I don’t think I will.” I said sternly. “Now, if I may go to sleep.” I threw the covers over my head as I felt my whole body get warm under stress. My whole family has been killing their beloved for centuries… and it kills them even more… will I have to too?

“I thought the sheets weren’t good enough, sir.” Keith teased, shutting off the light.

“About that, I think I’m used to them now.” I replied, “Now instead of replacing the suite, I was thinking maybe a new servant would do me some good.”

He snickered and shortly dozed off to sleep.

This thought made me think of reality for a moment. If I were to say that to a human—that we were sleeping—let’s just say it wouldn’t fit their image of us. None of it was true that we are perfect, that we are irresistible—well, most are it seems—that we are evil, that we don’t care about what we do although plenty don’t, that we like how we are.

But that’s just it. It’s all a part of the grief of being a vampire. Now, try adding vampire royalty to the list… but that doesn’t matter. At school, I’m just the cool guy who no one is afraid of displeasing or even getting murdered by. Now, if only they knew.

If only she knew.