To the End.
1/1.
(so say goodbye) to the vows you take
(and say goodbye) to the life you make
(and say goodbye) to the heart you break
and all the cyanide you drank
~
I hardly ever smiled, but the situation was just too good to be true. Watching the pain in his eyes as I silently sipped at the tobacco on my cigarette. Perfection. If I had a martini with me, it would have been pure bliss. Unfortunately the liquor store was several blocks away, as was the nearest bar. And besides, I wouldn’t have missed that moment for the world.
He looked up at me. It was nearly midnight; he had been slumped against the grimy brick wall for a few hours now, waiting for me to get off of work. However, as soon as my manager had told me about him crying to the next to the entrance, I figured I’d wait around for a few hours. Have a drink and a smoke in the back with my coworker. I wasn’t avoiding him. I was making him squirm.
“Hey, baby,” he whispered to me, staggering to his feet. He almost seemed drunk, but he was underage and too much of a good boy to be in that condition. What good would a few months do him? I’ve been drinking and smoking since I was fifteen, and I don’t think I would have survived without it either.
“Good evening,” I said to him. “What’s keeping you up?”
“Thinking of you…”
“I’m sure you are.” I took another puff at my cigarette. This was truly too good. “And don’t call me ‘baby’. I’m nobody’s baby. Especially not yours.” Stupid pet names.
“Sorry,” he muttered, wiping the salty tears out of his eyes. “Can we talk…?”
I thought for a moment, but just to throw him off. I had already made up my mind, even before I came outside. “Nope,” I said to him. “I’m meeting up with Alecia. Going clubbing.”
“Please,” he begged. He stumbled towards me. Stupid boy. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”
I held back the grin that was growing inside me. No, not yet. I could grin and laugh later. “It wasn’t you. It was me.”
His eyes shined with astonishment, waiting for an explanation.
“I don’t like you.”
I could hear the sound of his heart breaking, once again.
“B-but,” he muttered. I started to walk away, and he followed right after me like the sheep that he was. “Can’t you just talk to me about this!”
“It’s been two months, Ryan,” I said over my shoulder. I didn’t even turn to look at him. “Get over it.”
“I just have to know! You said that you loved me. You said that you would always love me! You told me, ‘to the end!’”
“I kept my promise. I loved you. Now it’s the end of us. Why don’t you comprehend this, you pussy?”
“Oh, oh…” He groaned and stopped following. On the contrary, I kept walking. But then I heard a noise that made even someone such as I stop suddenly. A noise that made me shiver with the sense of impending death.
I heard a gun being loaded.
“You’re right. To the end.”
Bang.
~
to the last parade
when the parties fade
and the choice you made
to the end
(and say goodbye) to the life you make
(and say goodbye) to the heart you break
and all the cyanide you drank
~
I hardly ever smiled, but the situation was just too good to be true. Watching the pain in his eyes as I silently sipped at the tobacco on my cigarette. Perfection. If I had a martini with me, it would have been pure bliss. Unfortunately the liquor store was several blocks away, as was the nearest bar. And besides, I wouldn’t have missed that moment for the world.
He looked up at me. It was nearly midnight; he had been slumped against the grimy brick wall for a few hours now, waiting for me to get off of work. However, as soon as my manager had told me about him crying to the next to the entrance, I figured I’d wait around for a few hours. Have a drink and a smoke in the back with my coworker. I wasn’t avoiding him. I was making him squirm.
“Hey, baby,” he whispered to me, staggering to his feet. He almost seemed drunk, but he was underage and too much of a good boy to be in that condition. What good would a few months do him? I’ve been drinking and smoking since I was fifteen, and I don’t think I would have survived without it either.
“Good evening,” I said to him. “What’s keeping you up?”
“Thinking of you…”
“I’m sure you are.” I took another puff at my cigarette. This was truly too good. “And don’t call me ‘baby’. I’m nobody’s baby. Especially not yours.” Stupid pet names.
“Sorry,” he muttered, wiping the salty tears out of his eyes. “Can we talk…?”
I thought for a moment, but just to throw him off. I had already made up my mind, even before I came outside. “Nope,” I said to him. “I’m meeting up with Alecia. Going clubbing.”
“Please,” he begged. He stumbled towards me. Stupid boy. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”
I held back the grin that was growing inside me. No, not yet. I could grin and laugh later. “It wasn’t you. It was me.”
His eyes shined with astonishment, waiting for an explanation.
“I don’t like you.”
I could hear the sound of his heart breaking, once again.
“B-but,” he muttered. I started to walk away, and he followed right after me like the sheep that he was. “Can’t you just talk to me about this!”
“It’s been two months, Ryan,” I said over my shoulder. I didn’t even turn to look at him. “Get over it.”
“I just have to know! You said that you loved me. You said that you would always love me! You told me, ‘to the end!’”
“I kept my promise. I loved you. Now it’s the end of us. Why don’t you comprehend this, you pussy?”
“Oh, oh…” He groaned and stopped following. On the contrary, I kept walking. But then I heard a noise that made even someone such as I stop suddenly. A noise that made me shiver with the sense of impending death.
I heard a gun being loaded.
“You’re right. To the end.”
Bang.
~
to the last parade
when the parties fade
and the choice you made
to the end