Life Isn't All That Bad

A party wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my second night in Tempe, but it was better than staying home and playing video games all night.

I knew there'd be alcohol. Liz knew I knew. "Are you sure you're going to be okay with this? I wasn't really thinking about it," she said quietly in the car, driving me back to my place.

"Yeah... I can't avoid this forever," I stated with a sigh, staring out the window. Liz and Danny were the only people I had ever told what happened to my dad. Everyone else assumed he just left. Technically, that was true. He did just leave- but not in a good way.

As she pulled into my driveway, she started chuckling. "I mean, what are the odds that you'd move in across the street from Garrett? He's practically a boy version of you."

Suddenly, something Garrett had said popped into my head. "Shit. Didn't he say his parents wanted to have me and my mom over for dinner?"

Liz started laughing. "Yeah bro, I'm pretty sure he did. Good luck with that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right. So, tonight, after this dinner disaster thing, I'll get the car from my mom and pick you up?" I asked, opening up the car door.

"Mhmm. And wear those cute ankle boots you showed me last time I was in New York. You look like such a dwarf next to me without them," Liz said, smiling widely at me as I climbed out of the car.

I just flipped her off, shutting the door behind me. She waved one last time, before pulling out of the driveway. Now that I was out of the air-conditioned car, the hot Arizona air felt like it was suffocating me.

Once I opened the front door, my mom was already talking to me.

"Beau! So, the woman across the street came over today. She has a son your age, apparently. Anyway-"

"We're having dinner at their house. Yeah, I know," I said, cutting her off.

She looked surprised. "How do you know that?"

"Their son, Garrett, is friends with Liz's boyfriend. We all hung out today. He told me," I explained, pulling off my shoes. "Hey, can I borrow the car tonight?"

"Wait, you actually talked to people? And you talked to a boy?" She asked, her green eyes widening in shock.

"Mom, I'm not five. I'm not afraid of boys. There were just none worth talking to in New York," I grumbled, trying not to sound too embarrassed. It was true, though. Talking to boys was not something I was good at. Talking to people in general was not a skill I had. Although I could talk to Liz or Danny, even my mom, for hours without feeling awkward, I could never have a normal conversation with someone I didn’t know personally. I easily got embarrassed, and could never hold a conversation.

She just rolled her eyes at my lie. "So, why do you need to borrow the car?" She asked, dropping the subject of me talking to boys.

"Oh, um, well, Liz kind of invited me to go to a party tonight, so that I can meet new people and whatnot," I mumbled, staring down at my bare feet. The blue nail polish on my toe nails was chipped and peeling off.

"A party? You don’t... is there going to be alcohol?" It was a sore subject for both my mom and me. She'd hardly touched a drop of alcohol since the accident, and I never wanted to.

"Well, yeah. But I'm staying as far away from it. Mom, please, I promised Liz that I would go..." I said, my voice trailing off as I looked up at her.

She looked unsure. "Okay... I trust you... Please be safe though."

I nodded, heading towards the stairs. "I will be," I called over my shoulders.

"Oh, and I told the Nickelsens that we'd be over at five. Try to behave, okay?"

I'd forgotten about that. This was just going to be one hell of an awkward night. First, dinner with neighbors I didn’t know, then a party where everyone but me would be drunk. What a great way to start off my new life in Tempe.

As five o'clock grew nearer and nearer, I grew even more anxious. Garrett was incredibly attractive. I could hardly talk to boys, let alone attractive boys.

While I was imagining all the things that could go wrong, my cell phone buzzed.

"Hey boo. How's Arizona? Lonely without me ;)?" I smiled at Danny's text.

"Fuck yeah, bro, I miss you so much. And Liz is taking me to a party tonight. This is going to be so awkward."

Downstairs, I heard my mom call my name. I checked the clock. 4:53. Great, time to go make a fool of myself.

As I headed down the stairs, my mom was waiting by the door. "Stop looking so nervous," she said, patting me on my shoulder. "You aren't as awkward as you think."

I just rolled my eyes, knowing that she was lying. It wasn’t even worth arguing with her, she'd never give up.

Dinner at the Nickelsen household was even more awkward than I had expected- for me, at least. My mom was loving it though. Her and Mrs. Nickelsen seemed to have similar personalities, and were bonding wonderfully.

Garrett and I... not so much. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. We were just both too shy to say much. I just sat in my seat, legs crossed, staring down at the table. My fingers played with the peace sign bracelet that never left my wrist. Every now and then, I'd steal a glance over at Garrett. He had changed since I'd seen him this morning. Instead of a beat-up zombie shirt, he was wearing a gray shirt with a leather jacket overtop. On his head was an odd gray hat. I was amazed he didn’t die of heatstroke or something.

Our awkward silence was broken when his phone started going off. "Oh, John and Pat are here to pick me up. I'll um, see you at the party?" Garrett said, sliding his phone back into his pocket as he stood up.

"Oh, um, yeah, I'll see you there," I said quietly, glancing up at him. His blue eyes met mine, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He gave me a smile, showing off his white teeth, before heading out the door. I looked over at my mom, who was deep in conversation with Mrs. Nickelsen. "Hey mom?"

She looked over at me. "Yes, Beau?"

I looked down, playing with my fingers. "Do you mind if I go now? I have to change, and pick up Liz, and all..."

She just nodded, not really listening to me. "Yeah, it's fine honey. Go have fun," and with that, she turned back to Mrs. Nickelsen and continued on with their fascinating conversation, whatever it was about.

Once I exited the Nickelsen home, I realized how dark it was outside. My paranoid self was convinced that there had to be a man somewhere in the bushes, waiting to attack me. In fear of being murdered, I ran across the street as fast as my legs could carry me. Once I was safely inside my house, I let out a heavy sigh. It was silly to be so paranoid, but I couldn’t help it. I'd always been afraid of the dark, and whatever lurked in it.

Pushing those thoughts from my head, I headed up to my room, changing into the outfit I'd planned earlier. It was a white and silver tank top, along with a pair of black shorts. Rather than wearing a belt like I normally did, I hooked on a pair of suspenders.

After fixing up my makeup, I pulled on an anchor bracelet, looking around for a necklace to wear. My eyes landed on my favorite necklace, sitting on my desk. It was on top of all the chaos of my half unpacked room.

Back when my father was alive, he traveled all the time. On his trip to London a few years before his death, he'd gotten me a heart locket with their flag on it. Inside the locket was a small note, reading "Next time, I'll bring you with me." He never got to, but the note still stayed inside.

I latched the necklace on, heading downstairs. "Be there in a few." I texted Liz.

The car's speakers were softly playing Ryan Adams as I drove to Liz's house. I knew that this party couldn’t be that bad, but I was still dreading it.

I arrived at Liz's house. She climbed into the car, smiling widely at me. "Ready to party?"

"Oh, yeah, totally," I lied. We both knew that was a lie, but she didn’t say anything.

Time to get this over with.