Life Isn't All That Bad

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing those incredible blue eyes staring back at me. "Oh, um, hi Garrett," I said nervously, turning my body towards him. Every time I grew nervous, I started stuttering, which seemed to be happening right now.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?" He asked, sitting down next to me. A bottle was being held firmly in his hand. When he shifted so that he was sitting Indian-style, his knee touched mine, the contact causing my cheeks to burn with embarrassment.

I just shrugged, gnawing at my bottom lip. "I'm not much of a party person," I said quietly, sipping at my water bottle.

Garrett gave a slight nod. "I'm not as into partying as I used to be. It's just the same thing over and over. It's kind of pointless."

"But you fit in. You drink," I stated, pointing towards his bottle.

He just chuckled, shaking his head. "Not tonight. I didn’t feel like alcohol. This is root beer," he said with a grin. "Want a sip?"

Although I loved root beer, I shook my head. Sharing a drink with a boy I barely knew didn’t seem like a smart idea to me. He just shrugged, taking a sip.

A silence fell upon us. It wasn't exactly awkward, but it wasn’t a comfortable silence either. I played with the peace sign bracelet on my wrist, my fingertips tracing the scar that it covered.

"Can I ask why you wear that bracelet?" Garrett asked quietly. I glanced up at him, one eyebrow raised in confusion. "I mean, it seems kind of worn out, and every time I've seen you, you were wearing it. Is there any reason you wear it?"

I let out a sigh. Did I want to tell him the truth? Did I want to tell him how I'd tried to kill myself, and the bracelet hid my scars? No. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to tell anyone. I wished no one knew. Of course, the only people who knew were my mom, Liz, and Danny. I took a deep breath. "I lost someone close to me a few years ago. And it made me do a stupid thing. The bracelet is a reminder that I need to be at peace with myself," I answered. Near the end, my voice choked up as I fought back tears. I didn’t want to cry in front of Garrett. It was bad enough crying in front of people I knew; crying in front of someone I barely knew was even worse.

But Garrett didn’t say anything when a few tears fell from my eyes. He simply wrapped his hand around mine, drawing small circles with his finger.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, pulling my hand from his. Why were all these boys so keen on hand holding? "I'm ruining this party for you. You should go inside and have fun."

"I wasn’t really having any fun in there, believe me. I'd rather stay out here with you," Garrett said, a genuine smile on his face. I could feel my heart skip a beat when my emerald eyes met his ice blue ones. I had a feeling that it was something that would happen a lot.

"Thanks," I said quietly, taking another sip of my water bottle. The water was warm now. Despite the fact that it was nighttime, it was still incredibly hot outside. But I was thirsty, so I drank it anyway.

This time, a comfortable silence fell upon us. Unlike before, we both seemed content without talking. Only the faint music from inside the house filled the night air.

"If you aren’t having any fun, why don’t you just go home?" Garrett finally broke the silence, looking over at me.

I just shrugged. "I'm Liz's ride home. I can't just ditch her here," my stutter was beginning to fade as I grew less embarrassed.

"I'm sure that John or Kenny could always give her a ride home," he said, uncrossing his legs. I hadn't realized our legs had been touching the entire time, and mine suddenly felt cold, even in the Arizona heat.

"I also don’t know how to get home," I admitted sheepishly, the stutter coming back as a blush crept onto my face. I'd never realized how easily I was embarrassed. In New York, I never had to worry about being embarrassed. I didn’t socialize at school, and Danny and my mom never really cared what I did. There was no reason to get embarrassed.

But in Tempe, it seemed that everything was embarrassing me. It was as if these boys knew exactly what to do to make me blush. I just wasn’t used to this.

"We don't live too far apart. I'm sure I could get you home," he said, grinning. I couldn’t help but giggle at his lame joke.

"Garrett, really, you should be having fun at the party. I'll be fine," I said, pulling at the grass. The green blades tickled the palms of my hands as I pulled them from their roots.

Garrett just shook his head. "And I told you; I'd rather stay here with you," he answered honestly, his fingertips brushing against my leg as he shifted in his spot, yet again.

I began to blush furiously- both his comment and the contact of his fingers on my leg was more than enough to embarrass me. "Really?" I asked quietly, looking over at him. His blue eyes were staring up at the sky, looking at all the stars. But when I voiced my question, he looked over at me. I quickly looked away, feeling weird for watching him.

He stood up, holding his hand out to help me up. "Come on, let's go find Kennedy and tell him he's giving Liz a ride home."

I reached up, grabbing hold of his hand. I could feel the calluses on his fingertips. When he pulled me up, I stumbled forward, unbalanced in my high heels. Garrett quickly grabbed onto me, steadying me so I didn’t fall. Once I was stable, I glanced up, realizing just how close our faces were. We both turned red and I quickly pulled away, mumbling a 'thanks' as I did so. He just nodded, and we headed back inside.

We quickly found Kennedy, watching Liz and Genevieve as they played beer pong. I didn’t understand the concept of the game, so I couldn’t tell if they were winning or losing.

Garrett quickly explained to Kennedy that he was helping me get home, and that he'd have to give Liz a ride home. I couldn’t hear what Kennedy said back to Garrett, but it caused his cheeks to flush as he shook his head wildly. The music overpowered his voice as well, so all I saw were his lips moving. With that, Garrett turned back towards me, putting his arm around my shoulder as we shoved our way through the crowd towards the door.

Once we'd exited the overcrowded home, I slid my shoulders out of his grip, heading towards my car. I had a feeling I'd have to get used to the constant touching, but for now it was still too awkward for me. I unlocked the car, climbing in the drivers seat as I watched Garrett walk around to the passenger side.

"Now, let's go home," Garrett said, and he began to give me directions back to our neighborhood. After a few minutes, I began to get uncomfortable with the silence. Cars were made to have music playing, no matter what. I put in Love Is Hell, feeling relieved as Political Scientists began to play softly throughout the car. Garrett looked at me, a look of amazement on his face. "You like Ryan Adams?"

I was impressed that he even knew who Ryan Adams was. "I love him. How about you?" I asked, turning the volume up a bit. Liz had been right; he was practically a boy version of me. Garrett just nodded, as we pull into our neighborhood. "Hey Garrett?" I asked, as I pulled into my driveway.

"Yeah?" He asked, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Do you... Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked nervously, trying desperately not to stutter.

He paused, and I grew anxious. Why would he want to hang out with me? I chewed on my lower lip, awaiting his response. "I'd love to," he said with a smile. He got out of the door, quickly going around the car and opening the door for me. "We can watch it at my house if you want. You're probably still unpacking."

That hadn’t even crossed my mind. Being spontaneous wasn’t something I normally did. "S-sure." We walked side-by-side across the street towards the Nickelsen home. As we walked, my hand brushed against his and I decided to be spontaneous again. I slid my hand into his, our fingers intertwining. He seemed surprised at first, tensing up, but he quickly relaxed and began to trace invisible circles with his thumb.

And for once, I didn’t even care about the blush that burned my cheeks.