My One Mistake

Endless days and empty nights
Feel the darkness crawl through my mind
Out of reach but still calling
I can't get to you
Feel the emptiness in my heart
Life's takin' me back to the start
There’s no power no glory
I'm just missin' you

It’s the second night in a row that I’ve been woken up by the same dream. I can’t get her out of my head no matter how hard I try.

She was my pleasure and my pain
She was my shelter from the rain
Searchin' for answers where it went wrong
And now she's gone

“Kris, do we have to go? Can’t we just stay here and watch movies like we planned?” Avery whined from the couch.
“Come on, Aves. We’ve got to go. I promised Jonny that we’d be there and we’re late. It’s casual so you can wear what you want.” I pleaded, dropping to my knees in front of her.
“Ok, but you better be able to make it up to me when we get home. And I mean make it up to me. And not once, but like, ten times,” She smiled, wrapping her arms around me and tackling me to the ground.
“You got it babe. Now hurry up, I’ll have to do suicides and lick the floor if we’re not there by four.”

It's my one mistake
Its my living nightmare while I’m awake
There’s no escape
She's everything I’ve ever known
The only thing that I could never change
She's the one that got away

We finally made our way to my car and hopped inside. The ride was short so she didn’t bother to put her seatbelt on.
“Avery, can you please put your seatbelt on. You know how nervous I am.” I chided, reaching over to grab her hand.
“Kris, look at me. Nothing is going to happen. We’re only going like two blocks. Hell, we can walk there and get there faster than we would in this thing.”
“I know, but it’s cold out. I don’t want to walk in out of breath and red-faced. They might think we’ve gotten busy or something.”
“And what if we have?” She joked, leaning over and lightly kissing my cheek.
“They don’t need to know that,” I smiled, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the parking space.

Tainted memories follow me
No redemption no remedy
Just the truth that’s plain to see
I can’t turn back now

We pulled up to the only set of lights that we would have to go through on our journey. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out the black box that I had hiding in these pants for weeks.
“Babe, I’ve got to ask you something,” I whispered, suddenly getting all nervous.
“What is it, Kris?”
“Avery, I’ve loved you since we first met in high school. You’ll never know how much you mean to me. I’ve loved the past ten years that we’ve spent together, and I’d like to spend a million more with you.”
“What are you saying?”
I opened the box and looked her square in the face. “Avery Melissa Fisher, will you marry me?”
She brought her hands up to her mouth and gasped. “Are you serious?”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. I love you Avery.”
“Wow, this is huge. Yes Kris, of course I’ll marry you.” She squeaked, leaning over and hugging me.
I pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger.
“I love you Kristopher Versteeg. I love you so much,” She smiled, turning her attention on the 2-karat diamond that now adorned her finger.

She was my pleasure and my pain
She was my shelter from the rain
Searchin' for answers where it went wrong
And now she's gone

It's my one mistake
Its my living nightmare while I’m awake
There’s no escape
She's everything I’ve ever known
The only thing that I could never change
She's the one that got away

I looked over at her one last time before putting the car back into drive and pulling through the intersection.
We got about halfway through the intersection when I turned my attention back on Avery. That was when I saw the car come out of nowhere.
“Avery, hold on!” I heard myself cry as the sound of crunching metal and breaking glass took over.
The truck hit us with such force that we rolled at least three times. I lost count because I was nauseous and worried about Avery.
“Avery? Avery, where are you?” I called, hauling myself out of the car wreck.
“Kris? Dude, what the hell? You shouldn’t be up walking. You could be seriously hurt!” Patrick Sharp said as he grabbed onto me when I tried to move.
“Can’t. Have to find Avery.”
“Dude, it’s not good. Come on, I’ll take you to her.”
We slowly made our way to the curb where Jonathan and Brent were sitting next to Avery’s body.
I knelt down and ran my fingers through her hair. “Avery? Sweetie, wake up.”
Her eyes started to flutter. “Kris? Baby, everything hurts.”
“I know. You need to stay awake until the paramedics get here. Then you can sleep all you want.”
“Are you ok?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. She was always putting me ahead of her. “I’m fine. Just a little banged up. How are you feeling?”
“I hurt everywhere. And I’m really tired. Listen, we need to talk.”
“About what, Avery?”
“I know I’m not going to make it. Hell, I don’t think it’s possible for me to keep my eyes open. I love you, Kris Versteeg. I love you with every bit of my soul. If I could, I’d marry you right now.”
“Baby, don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine.”
“Shut up, I’m not done! Once you’re done mourning me, I need you to get on with your life. Find someone who makes you just as happy as I did. Live your life to the fullest, Kris. You deserve everything you get.”
“Avery, don’t talk like that.” I pleaded.
“Promise me Kris. Promise me that you’ll do what I ask.” She smiled up at me.
I sighed. “Alright, I promise.”
“Now, kiss me.”
I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. She kissed back like she never kissed me before.
“I love you Kris.” She whispered, smiling as her eyes shut for the last time.
“Avery? Come on Avery, don’t do this to me. AVERY!” I screamed, gathering her body in my arms and hugging her close to my heart.

Callin' me, hauntin' me
Never ending, its breakin' me
Fell it burnin', inside of me
Yeah

The funeral was beautiful. I didn’t have the strength to organize it, so Brent’s girlfriend Charlotte did it. I couldn’t have asked for a better service. Charlotte knew everything Avery liked, right down to the songs she would have selected to play at the funeral.
I raised my head to look at the altar to find Charlotte and Sharpie’s wife Abby standing at the podium.
“Avery asked me to read this letter if anything happened to her. I might break out in tears so I brought Abby up with me. I know you’re thinking that I should have Brent here, but he’s worse than I am when it comes to sappy stuff.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Charlotte. If you’re reading this you know that I’m gone. Wait a second, I know you so you’ve already read this. Now, you’re reading it to everyone like I asked you to in the first place! Anyway, this is my letter to the world. I’m going to miss you all so much. You have no idea how it feels to know that I’m going to miss out on your wedding, or the arrival of Baby Keith. And, Kris. I’ll miss him the most. Please take care of him for me. Let him know that I’ll always be with him. And make sure he fulfills the promise I left him with. Brent and Jonny know about it, so make sure they get on his ass!
I love you all very much. But I have to end it here. I know you’re tearing up and so is everyone else, so spare your make up. I’ll catch you on the flip side, homie! And remember, wherever life takes you, I’ll always be right beside you.”

It's my one mistake
Its my living nightmare while I’m awake
There’s no escape
She's everything I've ever known
The only thing that I could never change
It's my one mistake
Its my living nightmare while I’m awake
There’s no escape
She's everything I've ever known
The only thing that I could never change
She's the one that got away

I smiled at the last memory. I had tried to fulfill my promise to her, I really did. It was just so hard. How could I devote my life to another woman when I knew that I would never get over Avery.
This was it. This was my final moment. I stood up and made my way to the dresser where I grabbed my gun. Making sure it was loaded, I placed it up against my temple.
[c]“Goodbye, cruel world.”[/c]