Take Me There

My feet thudded against the cabinets, my bottom on the counter tops. A bag of Cheetos sat on my lap and I stared down at Chester the Cheetah blankly. I hummed a song that I hadn’t heard since my father had left, a song that wasn’t on the radio anymore. That was probably because we weren’t in the sixties or seventies and The Beatles weren’t a band. It was hard for anyone not to like The Beatles. Even my mom couldn’t hate them, although she wanted to because dad was obsessed.

I stared up at the clock, one of the many that sat in this house. Time seemed to be something my mother cherished, something that Cass had none of; time seemed to be something that I couldn’t escape. Not even on the weekend before the last week of school. I should be making plans with my friend, Sam, for the beginning of summer. I should be surfing the internet for any new movies, listening in on the celebrity talk shows to maybe go to the mall. But, instead, I was sitting home on Sunday afternoon, waiting. I was waiting for mom to come home from the hospital to start dinner--hence my snacking, but I was mostly waiting for Cass to return from one of her many date’s with Nick Jonas. Any minute now, I thought. Any minute.

Just like I had a timer in my head, the clock’s second hand clicked and the front door in the living room shuffled open, squeaking in response to its newest intruder. I heard Cass giggle, followed by a musical laugh, and I sighed. Nick often came in after bringing Cass home. He was, in all respects, the perfect gentleman. I liked to call him a freak for being one of the only seventeen year old male’s on the planet that still insisted on opening a door for a lady, whether he knew her or not; he didn’t even like to cuss. Cass said it was sweet. I knew that, of course. Nicholas was perfect. I hated him.

“Nick, stop!” she insisted, stifling her laughter. He had obviously said something before entering. It was odd to see him joke; his brother was the funny one. Nick was always so serious.

He laughed again, musically.

Cass sighed and I heard her bag drop to the floor, footsteps now echoing into the kitchen until she met the doorframe. Her smile stretched across her face, lit up the room.

“Hey Jules,” she greeted, waving sweetly. I gave her a half smile, Nick’s figure soon appearing, his black jacket still on his muscled torso. His eyes locked mine and he offered a slight smile. I only half returned it, shoving a twisty cheese snack into my mouth.

“Were you home all day?” Cass asked, her voice breaking through my stare. Nick had moved a little closer, leaning up against the counter next to the fridge. Cass was searching for some juice. I didn’t tell her I took the last one.

“Yep,” I cleared my throat, not bothering to look up.

She sighed. “Why didn’t you come with us then?”

“It’s no fun being a third wheel,” I snorted, pushing back my mud brown hair. Sometimes I wished I had her blond, straight locks. Mine always seemed curled, always seemed knotted. But I didn’t really want to be blond.

“You wouldn’t be a third wheel!” she mused, turning to face me with narrowed eyes. “You drank the last juice?”

I blushed, half smirking. “Was the movie any good?” I slid off the counter, clasping the clip over the chip back before grabbing a paper towel to wipe my hands on.

“It was great. Nick almost cried,” she grinned, smiling admiringly at him. She gave him a nudge and he sighed, his cheeks burning rose.

“No I didn’t, honestly,” he defended. It was a weak try. He knew Cass had caught him. She wasn’t the sensitive type, though. When we watched horror movies, she’d giggle while I screamed my voice out. And when we watched romances--despite my lack of love belief--I cried. Cass only sighed and muttered something about life. Maybe she was a philosopher in her past life.

“It’s probably something I wouldn’t have liked anyway,” I shrugged.

I stood on my tippy-toes and reached for the cabinet, quickly shoving the bag in. Cass laughed again.

“She would’ve cried too, Nick. You wouldn’t be alone.”

“Ha. Ha,” he snorted sarcastically, but I turned just in time to see a soft smile grace his lips and his fingers run through his thick curls. Cass’s ice-blue eyes lit up. “Anyway, I need to get going; dads out of town this week and I promised mom I’d mow the lawn before dinner.”

Nick had lived ‘next door’--across the street-- to us for as long as I could remember, in the neat, Victorian, blue house across from our dim yellow one. Denise often had dinner parties, meaning that I was invited, along with my mother and Cass--that was a no-brainer. Nick’s father, Paul, was a pastor at the local church: he owned it.

Kevin, the oldest son, was fresh out of college, just moved in with his wife Danielle. Joseph was 20 years old, starting college to become a kindergarten teacher. It fit his bubbly, comedic attitude. Nick just turned seventeen and was entering as an early senior next year due to his high grades, extracurricular activities--music class--and his sports record. He was just another example of perfection. Then there was the sweet and innocent Frankie. Out of all the brothers, I related to him the most. That was pretty lame considering he was barely ten. It was easy to tell the Jonas family was wealthy, but they didn’t actually flaunt it. They were all sweet, innocent, and intelligent boys.

It made me sick.

And even though they were our neighbors, Nick didn’t come over too often. He didn’t want to intrude.

“Alright, see you tomorrow morning,” Cass grinned, pushing back her sleek blond hair. Nick smiled.

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

She could just walk across the street and jump into Nick’s shiny mustang, but he usually insisted on rolling up to our driveway. He almost always asked, too. He knew she’d say yes.

“Yes.”

“Do you want one too Julissa?” he smiled, raising his thin eyebrows in question. I snapped my attention back to where we were and bit my lip. Cass often encouraged me to warm up to Nick, but I just couldn’t. I hated him. I hated having the teeniest crush on my sister’s boyfriend.

“Uh, no thanks,” I declined, wadding up the paper towel that I still had in my hands, and I threw it in the bin.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

I sighed and grabbed the juice off the counter, taking a few sips of it before heading towards the sliding door that led to our small backyard. It wasn’t much. It didn’t have a swing set or an area where you could hit baseballs freely and shoot hoops like the Jonas’. But I wasn’t into sports anyway.

I slid the door shut behind me and trudged to our patio table, the sun shining down over the small umbrella. The air smelled of roses and barbeques, the Callaghan’s cooking their Sunday steak right about now: 4:00. We usually didn’t eat until 5:30; that’s when mom came home. And when she worked late, I cooked. Cass wasn’t exactly good with food. The only class she ever failed was Home Ec. She cried. I, on the other hand, was a little bit more careless. It’s not that I wanted to be, or that I couldn’t get straight A’s instead of a few mixed in with my B’s, it was the fact that I didn’t need to, I thought. Cass was the center of attention. I didn’t need to break through that. Sometimes I purposely didn’t hand in assignments so I wouldn’t have to watch it boost my grade up to an A. Mom didn’t need to know that, though. Neither did dad.

The chair cushion sunk underneath me, almost to the point where I could feel the iron, and I winced in the sun. My magazine sat on the table where I had left it after my failed attempt of tanning--I burn--and I retrieved it without a second thought, my boredom getting the best of me. It was only a matter of time before Cass came out, smiling and urging me to throw the Frisbee with her. Everything took time, though.

My eyes slowly scanned the contents of the latest Cosmo, taking in all the newest clothing items. Some things looked so completely idiotic, but some things I would love to have. Mom just never had the money and dad was too busy spoiling Damon, my younger brother that I hardly ever saw. He was only half of me, though. I didn’t like his new wife Jasmine. Cass was lucky that Nick spoiled her. Cass was lucky period.

Cass’s full name was Cassandra Hope Lane and she was now nineteen years old, getting ready to graduate her senior year. She planned on going into college, full scholarship of course, to become an accountant. Math was her thing, I never understood. I guess with a mom as a part time nurse and a dad you hardly see, numbers were the only thing you could rely on. Time had numbers.

I was obsessed with time.

But I hated Math. I hated Science. I hated World History and everything that followed about the government. I was no good at art and I stunk at any hands on job, including sports. The only class I seemed to exceed in was English, and even sometimes I couldn’t write a simple poem because I refused to express my feelings. All I wanted to express was how much I wanted to just get lost in a dream, or at least get a job at Sandy’s Ice Cream Shop; she paid high wages to teenagers just because she liked the fact of them working. She was also like a grandmother to me.

“Hey Jules?” Cass’s voice interrupted not even a second after the door slid open.

“Hmm?” I mumbled, turning my head away from the colorful page to lock her happy gaze. She looked zoned out and giggly. Nick probably just left. They probably just made out. Disgusting. That’s all he did, though. He refused to go farther with Cass and I--as weird as it seemed--always wondered why. Maybe it was the whole morals thing again. I shared the same belief, though.

“Wanna’ play some Frisbee before mom gets home?”

I knew Cass.

[T I M E]

Mom was home around 7 that night. I was lucky Cass and I got caught up in laughing; I didn’t have to make dinner. I also knew I had homework, but I blew that off too. Cass seemed to get hers done, though. I didn’t doubt that Nick did either.

“How was your day Cass? You and Nick enjoy that movie?” mom had asked, smiling at just the mention of Nick. She loved him and whenever they fought, she had me go over and coax him into coming over.

I chewed on my roll. Cass grabbed the salad bowl and scooped what looked like wet leaves onto her plate. Oh wait--there was a visible cucumber.

“It was great. A total chick flick,” she grinned, slipping her fingers through her hair. I imagined her as the little mermaid, using a fork to comb her hair. That was something Cass would do.

“Are you and Nick going out tomorrow night?” Mom was nosy. She liked to go down to the beauty parlor every Saturday to gossip with the elderly women about her Cass and Nick, and how cute they were together. She always said they should get married, but Cass never took it seriously. I wondered if she ever thought about it.

I cleared my throat.

“Um, nope. Going to check out that college with Jules,” she smiled excitedly at me. I did my best to return it.

“Isn’t your anniversary coming up?”

I asked to pass the mashed potatoes; they didn’t listen.

“Yes!” she squeaked, stabbing at her lettuce, waving her hand in the air. “One year without any break-ups. This is the longest we’ve gone.”

I was sick of hearing about Cass and Nick, I had to admit. The tiniest fight would set them off, mostly because Cass loved to be a drama queen. Nick tried to be mellow and talk things out, but Cass went for the ‘we’re over!’ card way too often. It was funny how she cried after, though. Her and Nick barely lasted a week without each other. The longest they had gone was two months broken up.

When they were together, it was sickeningly adorable. Nick called her when he didn’t want to come over, but she’d end up going to his house to watch a movie they had seen a million times; just because they could. He took her out to dinner whenever he got his paycheck, although he didn’t need to work. Nick’s job was to entertain the kids at church when his father was speaking to the adults, not preaching. He was good with kids, I knew that. And then he’d buy her whatever she wanted. He gave her a $100 pair of sunglasses for her birthday. She seemed to wear them every day.

Maybe I didn’t understand love. I didn’t believe in it. Cass had her perfect life all wrapped up in mine, and I envied her. I loved her, though. I just didn’t believe in falling for someone. I had a crush on Nick for as long as I could remember, even before little girls were supposed to like boys. I also remembered liking Jesse Orton in 5th grade, Lance Green in 8th, and most recently Jimmy Flounder. But that lasted a week before he laughed at my inability to make a basket. Cass didn’t know I still had a crush on Nick though. Cass wouldn’t for as long as I could help it. It wasn’t a big crush, anyway.

“Oh, how sweet!” mom chirped, sipping on her ice-tea. I had a feeling this would go on.

I asked for the mashed potatoes again, but they still didn’t listen, and instead went on to talk about the way Nick’s hair seemed so perfect and shiny each day. I quickly found out that, when Cass talked about Nick, she was done with anything else. I wasn’t getting those mashed potatoes.

I ran the brush through my knotted hair, sitting down at the desk. My room was small and I didn’t do a good job of keeping it clean, but I always loved the way the stars seemed to shine a little brighter from my window. It was as if the moon were illuminating an easy path for my eyes to find my favorite star. I also liked the ones on my ceiling. Cass had put them up years ago. They glowed in the dark.

It wasn’t too late, but it was dark, and my eyes focused on a curly head across the street. He pushed the lawn mower that he had to leave for dinner towards the garage, his legs moving swiftly to get out of the cold. I wondered if Joe was coming home this weekend. I talked to him the most, besides Frankie.

Joe was a character, but in a good way. He was always smiling and joking. Sometimes it felt like I was his sister rather than his little brother’s girlfriend’s sister. Joe had recommended a college only a half-hour away from his for Cass. It was perfect for her. It had the perfect accounting program. Of course, Joe was two hours away, meaning Cass would be two and a half. Simple math was alright.

I sighed heavily and swiveled my chair around, setting my brush on the top of my laptop. My eye lids grew heavy, just like they did every night at 9:00, and I let out a loud yawn. The murmurs of the TV downstairs indicated that mom had fallen asleep on the couch again and I felt as if it were my duty to wake her up; my legs said otherwise. She didn’t have a shift until noon anyway. She could wait. I, on the other hand, had school.

And after school Cass was taking me to go look at that ‘oh-so-wonderful’ college Joe recommended. She invited me and I accepted--partly because I had nothing better to do, certainly not homework, but mostly because Cass was my sister and I wanted to know where she was going. I felt like a mother to a five year old child, like the way my mom was with me. Everyday she’d ask where I was going, forgetting that the Jonas’ had a swing set across the street. She’d look out the window, paranoid that I’d get hit by a car or kidnapped. She mostly thought dad was going to drive up in his old silver Buick and take me away to some horrible place--we called that the ice-cream shop. I guess Cass really stuck to her health rule. I just couldn’t stand the taste of lettuce.

Mom always trusted Cass though. She called her ‘my sweet Cassandra.’ Cass hated that name and begged to be called Cass; everyone knew that. Cass could go across the street whenever she wanted; she was four years older than me. She’d be twenty two months after graduating. She started kindergarten late, but that was probably why she was so brilliant. And then I remembered when we’d go to the park, the four of us. That was before dad left. That was before I was ignored. Cass was the superstar and I was… Jules.

Climbing off the chair, I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and slipped into the sheets, clicking off the light. I always kept my door closed, but I had always been afraid of the dark. Cass said she fought off all the monsters for me, when I was seven. For some reason, I still wanted her to tell me that. I guess it was the way Cass was. She was tough.

I just didn’t think that would change in time. Then again, time changes everything.

“Night Jules,” I heard Cass mumbled, the door squeaking open just an inch. She knew I was awake.

“Night Cass,” I yawned, flipping over when the door shut, staring up at my glow in the dark sticker stars.

Sometimes you just didn’t know what to think. That was me. All the time.