Take Me There

Waking up with an aching cheek wasn’t the worst part of my morning; looking at the clock and realizing I was already ten minutes late for school was. We were approaching the last days and I had already ruined my perfect attendance record. I was good at nothing.

Groaning, I flopped out of bed and rubbed my cheek vigorously, not caring about whoever said not to rub your bruises. It was my face; I’d do what I wanted. I padded over to the dresser and grabbed my brush, yanking it through my hair with winces. Picking up my elastic hair tie, I gathered all my hair up and pulled it into a messy ponytail. Grabbing a clean shirt out of my dresser and a pair of pants that I had left on the floor, I quickly changed--I had showered last night. I slipped on my vans and grabbed my bag, exiting my room. I stopped for a moment, listening for any sounds: no one--if anyone was here--was awake. Plopping my bag by the door, I entered the bathroom lazily and switched on the light before gently clicking the door shut behind me.

My eyes locked on the reflection in the mirror, taking in my tired look and the faint purple spot on my cheek. I had been slapped, not punched, but it still left quite a mark. It still stung. Sighing heavily, I squirted some toothpaste on my tooth brush and shoved it in my mouth, shifting my weight as I brushed roughly. I could feel the bristles attack my gums and I knew I was probably bleeding, but I didn’t have time to care. Julissa Lane was never late for school and although I didn’t care about getting there, I did care about getting out of this house.

Once I finished with my teeth, I pulled out my makeup and managed to cover up the bruise easily. My skin felt numb from the constant touching, but I shrugged it off and exited quickly. Stepping down the stairs easily, a faint snore filled my ears and I froze. My eyes scanned the dark room, the sun barely peeking in through the slits of the blinds, and I waited. Part of me thought it was Cass asleep on the couch, snoring away her troubles and her lies and her hurt.

That was the stupid part of me.

As I got closer, I recognized the slowly breathing figure to be my mother. Was she waiting up for Cass? I let out a heavy sigh and crept over to the door, taking one more look at her. I didn’t know what to think.

Bounding down the front steps, I hurried down the driveway, my eyes taking a new focus on the Jonas house. Nick was obviously gone for school, the driveway completely empty of his perfect mustang and the other two cars, one including Joe’s. I wondered if he had already left and told myself to ask Nick, but then I remembered that Nick was angry with me. I remembered the way he looked so broken when I told him Cass was cheating on him, and I remembered the way he slammed the door. I had never seen Nick that angry. I don’t recall seeing him angry at all. Maybe it wasn’t my business, but I knew Cass owed Nick the truth; I owed him the truth.

I walked down the empty streets with ease, keeping my gaze down to my shoes as they thudded against the sidewalk. I kicked a few pebbles aimlessly and readjusted the bag on my shoulder, glad I had pulled my hair back so it didn’t whip around my face. My eyes caught sight of a pretty blond girl smiling, laughing as she sat on her porch. The male next to her looked happy, his hand gently holding hers as they kissed. It made me sick.

It made me miss Cass even more.

Walking onto the campus, I realized that class was still in session, but there was only about five minutes left. Bypassing the main entrance, I headed towards the courtyard, stopping in my tracks once I saw who was there. Nick. He had his head down, his hands gripping the stone seat so tightly that his knuckles were white, and his foot kicked at the stone path absentmindedly. I stood there, allowing the cool wind to hit my bare arms. I stared at him. I didn’t know whether to approach him or let him drown in his thoughts.

He glanced up slowly, surprised to see me standing there. I felt my cheeks heat up and I quickly looked away, shifting my weight uncomfortably. He was staring at me now, a hurt look in his eyes. I had never been broken up with, cheated on, or hurt in any sort of relationship--I had never really had a relationship. But I guess I understood why this was so hard for Nick, finding out Cass was cheating on him.

After a moment of his staring, I glanced back up and sighed, licking my dry lips. “Umm, sorry,” I muttered quickly, pulling the strap tighter around my shoulder. As I began to turn away, his soft voice filled the air.

“Don’t be.”

I stopped and glanced over my shoulder, my eyes meeting his soft ones. He pushed up his sleeves and heaved a sigh, turning his head to squint up in the sunlight.

“You can sit down… if you want,” he added lightly, shrugging his shoulders. I took a quick moment to process my answer before my feet began to move towards him.

I guess I was sitting.

Plopping myself down next to him, I hugged my backpack to my chest and closed my eyes, the heat of the sun becoming relaxing. I could hear the birds chirping and a few feet thudding through the hallways. I turned my head, allowing my eyes to scan over Nick’s face easily. He leaned back, his hands still tight on the seat, and stared out into the light blue sky. I was surprised when he began to speak.

“Yesterday… that took a lot of guts,” he whispered, still staring out.

“What?” I asked, scrunching up my nose with confusion. But he continued as if I hadn’t spoken.

“I don’t know if I could’ve ever told one of my friends that my own sibling was cheating on them. I guess it shows that honesty means a lot to you.”

I knew honesty meant a lot to me--that’s probably why Cass sneaking around bugged me so much--but was I really that easy to read? No one really ever tried before. I cleared my throat and shrugged nervously, locking my gaze on my clasped hands.

“I thought you were upset.”

“I am,” he answered quickly, heaving another sigh. “But it’s not right to be upset with you. You didn’t do anything wrong; you were the only one in the right.”

Yeah, sure…

“I guess I should’ve thanked you yesterday, instead of blowing up…” he mumbled, his full lips barely moving as he spoke. It wasn’t like I was watching them…

“It’s okay,” I cut in quickly. I was used to people getting annoyed with me, yelling and being rude. I was even hit for my actions, ahem--mom. But he quickly turned to face me, his knitted eyebrows and soft, but blocked eyes disagreeing.

“No,” he shook his head, “it’s not okay. You can’t let people walk all over you, you’re better than that. If somebody says are does something that you don’t like, don’t be afraid to say so,” he continued encouragingly. I offered a shy smile and turned away, my lips spreading wider.

“You’re used to Cass bagging on you, huh?” I chuckled, getting him to laugh in return.

“Sort of, yeah.”

Cass was never afraid to let Nick know when he did something wrong. They were both perfectionists, so it always led to an argument. I never really understood why Cass had to poke at everything Nick did, whether it be the way he folded his clothes at his own house or the way he ate his hamburgers in tiny circles, she'd point something out that would always make him blush or mumble grumpily. It was funny sometimes because I never saw the wrong in anything he did.

“I guess I just wanted to say thanks for saving me any future hurt.” His voice brought me back out of my thoughts

“So… what does that mean? You’re going to break up with her?” I didn’t want to cause any drama--that was Cass’s job.

“It’s pretty much the only thing I can do. She’s cheating on me; to me that means she doesn’t feel the same anymore.” I could tell he didn’t want to, the look on his face said that he wanted to hold onto her, that he planned on taking her wherever she wanted to go. For some reason, I felt something inside me begin to boil and I began to wonder how Cass could be so stupid. Nick still loved her. Maybe he always would. He didn’t deserve that.

“But you’ll always love her Nick,” I shook my head. When things got rough, wherever Cass was, she’d come back to Nick.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, kicking a lone pebble far out into the street. “I’ll get over it.”

“You’ve gone through countless break-ups with her,” I rolled my eyes. He smiled dryly and raised his hand to push his curls back, cocking his head in thought.

“I meant I’d get over her. This time is different. Sure, she’s dated other guys before, but we were never together when that happened. I can’t love someone I don’t trust. I hope you understand…” he trailed off, turning to face me again.

It took me a moment to realize that he cared if I was angry with him. It also took me a moment to realize that I wasn’t mad at him for anything. I just didn’t want to be there when he broke up with her; if she ever even came back…

“I understand.”

[T I M E]

Watching the clock made time go by slower today, but I had nothing better to do. I had failed my science project, but I didn’t feel like crying over it. Mom obsessed over Cass’s grades, not mine. I did feel a little disappointed though. Even the science teacher was out to get me.

When the bell did finally ring, I was partly relieved. I saw Sam smiling as she stood, her lab partner making her laugh with some lame joke. I didn’t have a lab partner. Once again--he was out to get me. I shook my thoughts away and pulled my bag over my shoulder, escaping class before he could write me up for not listening to his instructions of keeping backpacks out of his room. I apologized the first two times he tripped over it; what more did he want?

I found myself digging into my locker faster than I anticipated. Maybe I wanted to get outside to see if Cass was there to pick me up, and if she wasn’t I wanted to get home to see if she was there to play Frisbee with, and if she wasn’t--I had nowhere else to think of.

I pulled out my literature book and stuck it in the cleaned out locker, leaving it there so I could remember to return it in the morning. There were only a few more days left of school. Cass would be graduating. Where was she? Shutting my locker, I weaved my way through the crowds of kids pushing to get out of the school and exited through the courtyard. As I made my way towards the parking lot, I spotted Nick leaning against his car, his hands shoved in his tight pockets like he was some cool kid. I had forgotten that Nick was in fact popular. Cass was the only other person of the popular crowd that associated themselves with me.

I didn’t mean to lock his gaze, especially not when he offered that soft smile. I groaned inwardly: he was going to offer me a ride and I was going to accept. Not this time.

“Hey Jules, want a ride?” he asked once I neared. I bit the inside of my cheek and smiled awkwardly.

“Sure.”

Dang it.

He smiled softly and stepped away from the passenger door, opening it for me. I quickly slid in and dropped my bag to the floor, rubbing my twitching nose once he shut the door. He made his way towards the driver’s side and slid in, starting the ignition up almost immediately. He pulled out of the emptying lot slowly, obeying the speed limit, and proceeded to drive down the street in silence. The sun peeked through the windows and heated my already warm skin. I shifted uncomfortably and readjusted the seatbelt, digging my foot into my backpack. I could see him lift his hand out of the corner of my eye, his finger hitting the button for the air conditioner. He quickly switched it on low, allowing me to adjust the air vent on my own side. I was relieved when the cool air hit my face, rustling my hair as if it were a light breeze--a light breeze that smelled of strawberry air freshener. I smiled.

When he pulled up in front of my house, he cut the ignition but kept his hands on the wheel. I sat there for a second, taking my time to gather up my bag. It wasn’t like I wanted to sit there with him, he just seemed like something was on his mine. He let out a sigh and turned to me, asking a question.

“I know I’m dwelling on this, but I was just wondering…” he trailed off, taking another second to form his words. I waited. “Is… is he nice, good looking? Anything?” I knew he was asking about Zack. I laughed. Nick’s eyes locked mine again, confusion sweeping over his face. I couldn’t help it.

“He’s, umm… Honestly, Zack seems like a weirdo.” It was Nick’s turn to chuckle. He kept his lips closed as he smiled, shutting his eyes when he turned his head, letting it hang a little. He let his hands slide off the steering wheel and onto his lap before he sighed again, leaning back into the seat.

I suddenly felt the need to comfort him.

“But hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you could have any girl eating out of the palm of your hand by tomorrow,” I smiled, hoping he didn’t see the dryness in it. He chuckled.

“I don’t know about that. You might be hard to reach.” I tried not to let his comment affect me in any way, but it was hard and I had to glance over at him. He was looking right at me. “You aren’t like other girls, Jules. And, I don’t know… I think that kind of makes you special. I’m glad we’re friends.”

We were friends?

“T-thanks,” I muttered, mentally smacking myself for stuttering. He smiled.

Pushing the door open, I stepped out before any other encounters or conversations could happen and gently shut the door, turning around to start up my driveway. I heard the car start up and within seconds he was parked across the street, strutting towards his own front door with his curls bouncing. I passed my mom’s car and I glanced back over my shoulder, watching as Nick shut the door slowly behind him. Would it be weird to go over to his house now? I just didn’t want to be around my mom.

I swung open the door only to be met with silence. Furrowing my eyebrows, I dropped my bag down and shut the door behind me, slowly padding across the floor to get to the kitchen. The answering machine was lit up again and before thinking I quickly pushed play. But Cass didn’t fill my ears and neither did my father. It was some stupid bill collector. I sighed and hit delete, wondering why they kept calling the wrong house.

Jumping onto the counter after I washed my hands and an apple, I bit into it. My feet banged against the counter softly, my eyes focusing on the ticking clock close by. There was something about the kitchen that always seemed comforting. I had memories of my dad cooking. He seemed happy when he was able to incorporate food with our family time, if we even had any. I missed my dad and my brother, and even my step mom, but I really missed Cass right about now. Dropping the apple to the countertop, I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled my phone out, quickly dialing her number. It rang a few times before it went straight to her answering machine.

“Hey, it’s Cass. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you,” her overly cheerful voice rang. I hung up.

I heard footsteps suddenly and I slid off the counter, throwing the rest of my apple away. My mother came into view, her face angry as she crossed her arms.

“You’re teacher called,” she muttered, her voice void of emotion. I raised my eyebrows. “How in the world did you fail your science project? You know you’ll have a C in that class unless you bring it up within two days!”

“I know,” I breathed, flinching at how loud her voice was. She never yelled when Cass was around. She never had a reason to.

“You know?” she chuckled dryly, throwing her hands up. “Then why don’t you do something about it?” I didn’t answer. “You’re pathetic,” she spat.

And then I remembered what Nick said about not letting people walk all over me.

“Well, I must’ve gotten it somewhere. Like mother like daughter, right?” I knew I shouldn’t have said that, but I was stupid. Cass wouldn’t have said it. She probably would have cried. I wasn’t Cass; I would never be.

“Excuse me?” mom asked with wide, angry eyes. She stepped forward and I stood like a stature, keeping my lips pursed. The closer she got the more she reminded me of a predator, my own mother. I was… afraid. “What did you say to me?” she growled, gripping my arm tightly. She jerked me forward and I winced, my lips parting with a gasp as her fingernails dug into my skin. I had to bite the inside of my cheek, careful not to make a sound. She kept her grip tight, her eyes staring into mine. I had gotten my eyes from her and I wondered if I would turn out soulless.

She shook me again, her eye twitching a little with anger. But I still didn’t speak. I held my breath, even when she finally let go and my eyes traveled down to the red marks of her fingers and the small bleeding cuts by her nails, I held it. She walked away after a moment, silence filling the air once again. That’s when my ragged breath let out, meshing with the ticks of the clock.

She didn’t ask where Cass was and I wondered if she trusted her that much. I wouldn’t.

I rubbed my hand over my arm, the blood smearing over my skin, and I quickly made my way towards the stairs. Disappearing into my room, I shut the door behind me and plopped down on my bed, turning my head to stare out the open window. I heard a familiar laugh and my interest caught. Sliding off the bed, I leaned against the desk, using my elbows to prop myself up. I could see Nick on his front lawn, his eyes closed and his mouth open, his hand clutching his stomach as he laughed hysterically. Joe was on the ground, groaning in pain, a baseball next his leg. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You-jerk. I-hate-you,” Joe seethed through grunts of pain and heavy breathing. Nick stepped a little closer, biting his lip so he wouldn’t laugh anymore, and gave the bat he was holding a little swing.

“I guess you shouldn’t have told me to bunt it,” he shrugged, running his fingers through his hair.

I stayed in my spot and watched Nick continue to laugh as Joe struggled, and then offered a helping hand. Joe took it with a glare and shoved his brother lightly, trying to stand all the way up. I seemed to laugh along with Nick. He glanced up suddenly, his smiling eyes meeting mine for a split second before I pulled away.

Yeah, I was not staring.

Glancing down at my arm, I bit my lip and rubbed at the now dried blood, the red marks slowly turning to a light purple color. Who knew I bruised so easily? I licked my fingers and proceeded to rub off the blood, remembering that the bruise on my cheek was still covered by make-up. But before all, I needed to go find a way to bring my Science grade up. If Cass was here, she’d help me. If Cass was here…

I sighed and exited my bedroom, trudging down the stairs. I started for the front door, but the kitchen phone caught my eye. Biting my lip, I crossed the room and picked it up in my hand, hesitantly dialing the number. It rang a few times, the answering machine being more interested in my call than anyone else.

“Hi, you’ve reached the Lane residence. Leave us a message and we’ll get back to you.” His gruff voice sounded. The Lane residence; I almost snorted. Mom, Cass, and I were still part of the Lane residence. Along with his wife and Damon, I guess.

“Umm, hey, Dad. It’s… me, Julissa?” I started awkwardly, clearing my throat gently. “I just wanted to call… because you called the other day and I doubt anyone called you back. So, umm… bye.” I felt like such a fool, talking to absolutely no one. Even if dad had answered the phone, I still didn’t know how to use it properly.

I guess I really was pathetic.

Setting the phone back down in its spot, I hurried towards the front door as footsteps sounded heavily, my mother’s angry voice filling my ears: “Julissa!” I made it out the door before she even appeared.

The air was still cool, but the sun was warming as I walked down my driveway, wrapping my arms around myself. It took me only a second to comprehend the quick footsteps coming towards me, my eyes settling on a jogging Nick. He quickly stepped into pace with me, smiling slightly. I turned to face him as I walked, wondering what he wanted.

“So you saw that down there?” he questioned finally, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. I let out a short laugh, shrugging.

“I saw the outcome of what happened.”

“Joe’s pretty angry,” Nick chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets. Why was he walking down the street with me? Why was he keeping his pace slow enough to match what I thought was fast? Why was he turning the corner as I did? “He said I ruined what would have been the ending to a perfect date tonight.” He scrunched up his nose in disgust and I mirrored him.

“Ewe,” I blurted, getting him to chuckle as I stuck out my tongue.

“Tell me about it,” he laughed, raising his eyebrows in exclamation. Our laughter quickly died down, leaving another moment of silence. A few cars passed down the street slowly, some people walking in the opposite direction. “So…” he mumbled again, licking his lips. “Where are we going?”

“We?” I blurted, glancing at him questioningly. He seemed to blush again.

“Well, you’re walking and I’m following you… I think it’s a we destination now.”

Stupid logic.

“I’m going to the library,” I spoke softly, tugging at my ponytail. He nodded. “Have you… talked to Cass?” I didn’t know why I asked; maybe I was curious. Would Cass really call Nick though? Or answer when he calls? She didn’t for me, but I hadn’t really tried much.

“No,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as we walked on. I took in the information with one slow nod, letting my eyes roam the few small buildings. “I haven’t called her since yesterday though. What about you?”

“Nope,” I popped, cracking my knuckles as I sighed. I didn’t want to tell him that I didn’t know where she was, but I just hoped she’d come back tonight. There were three more days left of school… she needed to be herself in time for graduation. We were all counting on that.

I was expecting Nick to ask if she was okay, but he didn’t. “Are you okay?” he asked instead. I took a moment to think, my mouth opening but no response coming out. My walk became slower but he had no problem adjusting to it, patiently waiting for my answer.

“Fine.” Fine. That was one of my favorite words. When you told someone you were fine, it was never a complete lie. You always knew that, in time, you would be fine. That’s what I thought at least.

He nodded and reached out suddenly, opening the door that I hadn’t realized we reached. I gave him a glance and he offered his soft lipped smile, his chocolate eyes looking light, his hair gently blowing in the breeze. Was it wrong to think he was beautiful? He was my sister’s boyfriend, the boy I had always had a crush on, but he was still Cass’s. Wouldn’t he always be?

Why did I care? I decided I didn’t. I guess only time would fix everything. Maybe fate would, too. I was always skeptical of fate; Cass never believed in it, but I surprisingly did. Maybe fate would make Cass realize that Nick was perfect. I didn't realize until later that he just wasn’t perfect for her.