You Turn Away From All the Things That I've Been Trying to Say

I'm laying on my couch, reading a magazine. I haven't talked to Austin for a week and I miss him, but I'm still pissed off at him. Morgan has been helping, but it's hard for her to understand. She's not home right now and I'm just hanging out by myself when the doorbell rings. I lay on the couch for a minute, hoping whoever it is will go away. The bell keeps ringing, so I stand up and go to the door in my Victoria's Secret hot pink sweat pants and white tank top that is cut off just above my belly button. I open the door and see Austin standing there, holding a bouquet of lillies. He's dressed like he usually is, with sunglasses on. He shoves the sunglasses to the top of his head when I open the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I didn't think you were home. I've missed you." He says, looking down at his cowboy boots.

"What do you want, Austin?"

"I wanted to give you these." He hands me the flowers. "And I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was wrong and I treated you like shit."

"Yeah, you did. I just want to know why, Austin." I don't take the flowers from him. He pulls them back and holds them at his side. He runs his hand through his hair and sighs.

"I fucked up. I've been hurt really bad by people who I was close to. And I felt myself getting close to you and starting to have feelings for you and I didn't want to end up hurt, so I thought if I hurt you first and you left, that I wouldn't have a chance to get hurt myself. I know it's stupid and it's fucked up, but I just don't want to get hurt again, Madison."

"Austin, I've told you so many times, that I'm in this for the right reasons. I'm not out for your money, I don't give a shit about that. I'm not out for status or to jump start my career, I can do that on my own. I want to be with you, for you. I don't know what else I can do to prove that to you and frankly, I'm not sure I want to prove it to you." I say.

"And as far as me hurting you, I would never, on purpose, hurt you for any reason. I understand being hurt, I've been there. But it doesn't give you the right to push me away. I'm the only one who knows whats best for me, so don't try the whole your better than me bullshit with me, OK?" He smirks.

"I'm just starting to realize what a amazing woman you are. I just wish you would forgive me. I want to be with you and try this and make it work." He says.

"Well, it's about time you realize it." I say. "Austin, you hurt me badly. I can't just forgive and forget that easily. It would be hypocritical of me to want you to prove it to me and I'm not the needy. So, I don't know..." I trail off.

"Please, just think about it." He says.

"What about your tour? What are we going to do then?"

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come on tour with me. All the guys who have girlfriends bring them. I don't want to miss you while I'm gone. Please come with me."

"Austin, I have a job, I have a life, I can't just leave all that to go on tour with you. What if something happens and we can't stand each other and then I'm just stranded on the side of the road?" I say. He laughs.

"I wouldn't leave you on the side of the road if, God forbid, you decide you can't stand me anymore. And that's not going to happen anyways. I won't let it." I sigh. I'm reeling. I want to go so bad, get away from everything and just be with Austin on this little adventure. But a part of me is wary.

"I don't know, Austin."

"Say yes. Just come with me." He moves in a little closer to me. I stand there for a second and then start smiling.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes. Yes, I'll go with you." He grins and wraps his arms around me, lifting me off the ground a few inches. He puts me back down and kisses my lips a few times. I laugh at him.

"Thank God. I missed you so much." He says. I smooth the ends of his hair a little bit.

"I missed you too, Austin. You have to promise not to hurt me again."

"I promise." His hands run along my back and he examines me.

"Do you always answer the door in a see through tank top?"

"Sometimes." I say, smirking.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

*************************************************************

I'm standing in the disaster area that is my bedroom. There are clothes and suitcases everywhere. Morgan was trying to help me, but she gave up after awhile. I grab a few tank tops and toss them in a bag. Austin is picking me up in a hour, so I have to get this packing thing done. Morgan walks in and sits down on the side of my bed and I turn around and grab a few pairs of embellished jeans that I stole from my work.

"I can't believe you're leaving me." She says.

"Oh stop. I'm not going to be gone for that long."

"Mama and Papa are going to be stroking out the whole time you're gone. They like to know what you're doing at all times, you know."

"Well, I'll call them all the time and I'll call you all the time. It's not like I'm going to Africa. Hell, I might even be able to get them concert tickets and see them."

"Mama doesn't like concerts." She says.

"Well, then I can go to her house or something. I'm not really sure what the schedule is going to be like. I don't know where were going to be." I say, zipping one of my bags.

"That's great, Madison. I've only met this guy twice, how am I supposed to know if he's like, going to get you killed or something?"

"Would I date a guy who would kill me?"

"Probably not, but still. You've only dated this guy for three months, and you were broken up for a week already."

"What better way to see if were compatible?" I say, breezily.

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"Yes, I've been told."

"Are you all packed?"

"I have all my make up and lingerie packed. Most of my clothes are packed too."

"Lingerie? What? Are you planning on fucking him on the bus in front of all the other guys?"

"Hell no. Do I look like a slut to you? Were going to have hotel rooms."

"Oh. I see."

"Yeah. Jeez. Get your head out of the gutter, would you?" She laughs. The doorbell rings and we both look at each other.

"Shit!" I say and we both start grabbing clothes and stuffing my suit cases. Morgan runs to the door and answers it while I drag my bags into the living room. Austin is standing there, looking amused.

"Oh man, you mean I forgot to tell you that theres a one bag limit?" My mouth drops open and he starts laughing.

"You douche! I hate you!" I say, laughing.

"Now, that is what you're supposed to say after the tour is over." He says, teasingly.

"Ass."

"You know it. Come on, we have a half hour to get to the bus pick up." He says, and grabs one of my bags, leaving me with Morgan and one other bag. I give her a big hug.

"OK, be safe. I love you." She says.

"OK, I love you too. Take care of yourself, I'll call you when we get settled on the bus." I pick up my last bag and throw it over my shoulder and she walks me out to Austin's truck. I throw the bag into the back with his bags and shut the back door. Austin is in the drivers seat. I turn and give Morgan another hug and kiss.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." She looks over my shoulder. "Take care of her, Austin."

"I will."

I hop into the passenger side and Morgan shuts my door for me.

"Bye."

"Bye bye." I say and Austin pulls away from the curb.

"Are you excited?" He asks.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yeah, this is my first tour in a long time with a girlfriend."

We arrive at the bus pick up station and Austin pulls in and parks with all the other band guys cars. We get all of our bags out of the truck and he shows me where to put the not as important bags under the bus and the important stuff in the bus. He introduces me to all the crew guys and all the girlfriends. I find out that I'm one of two Hinder girls on the bus. The other is Mark's new girlfriend, Layla. We all troop onto the bus and get settled in and start talking immediately. Austin makes me a drink and we all drink and talk and I can tell this is going to be a really fun time with all these people.