I Hold On

Lyrics POV

I watched him as he put on that guy’s jacket. “I curse you for being tall” Vander laughed.

“It’s your fault you’re small” The guy laughed back. They hug; suddenly sadness fills my heart and lungs. I feel as though I can’t breathe. Vander’s eyes lock with mine. I think I’m going to cry. I can’t cry though, not in front of Vander and that guy. Tears threaten to spill; I turn swiftly and walk fast down the road towards the nearest taxi place. I can hear my friends calling my name, I ignore them. I have to get home.

I break out into a run, tears stream down my face like a river. I think I have fallen for him.... have I?

I enter the taxi place and tell the guy my address. Sniffling I sit down on the bench, I wipe my tears away with the cuff of my sleeve.

He didn’t follow me. He didn’t call my name. He didn’t wave. I didn’t expect him to, and I thought that he liked me. Apparently not... not if he has a boyfriend! He never told me that he had a boyfriend.

I look down at my shoes and wait for my taxi.

When it finally arrives I climb in and gaze out the window, trying my best to keep my mind occupied. Oh look, a guy wearing a chicken suit!

The taxi pulls up outside my house; I pay the guy and climb out of the car. I walk inside and climb the stairs. No-one is in; they all went out to a party tonight.

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door, just in case.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I look like shit. My eyes are red and puffy, it looks terrible.

I open the drawer and lift out an unused razor blade. I blink, is this the right thing to do?

No..... don’t do it....

I drop the razor blade back into the drawer and slam it shut, why was I about to do that?!

I slam my back against the door and slide down it, into a sitting position. Pulling my knees up into my chest, crossing my arms over them and burying my head in my arms, I cry.