Veiled

I had excused myself most polity, stuffed my clothes under a set of drawers and, after taking a deep dragging breath, made myself unseen. With envy racketing at my heart and burning my system I watched them. Fantasising about dreams I could easily have but get no pleasure out of because I have no one to share it with. My heart was cold and icy and most of all not ready to open up to some one - for ice can shatter oh to easily. I admit I started to drown in a mass of self pity as I watched them, however I managed to keep my distance so she wouldn't sense me.

It was times like this, as the setting sun tinged the clouds a rich peach pink and layered the horizon a rich orange I did wonder what it would be like to have a change of heart and embrace life as it comes. But the thought of people not fearing me, the thought of being as powerless as she completely washed me in fear. I knew I'd get even more lost than I already was.

And I needed to stop hiding. I need to report back to my people. If they want me back after what I did. I could hardly see such things happening so I should stay under cover for now.
Their laughter caught me back to reality and I gasped then slapped my hand to my mouth in dismay, but they were so caught up in their own little world they didn't notice. Although I did see the sub conscious part of Lyra hesitate by the twitch of her shoulders.
And then a BRILLIANT thought dominated me so much I forgot how to breath for a second. It was perfect. And evil and probably should of been my middle name.
Oscar... Oscar... OSCAR. Oh Oscar. I knew if I did something bad then tried to make it look like Lyra he would believe her when she fell to her knees and begged for him to see the truth. Which will mean I'll get reviled and it will all work out in her good favour.
SO... I searched round in my head for a moment... I'll seduce him. NO, not seduce... devour in my power. Reel in on my rod and capture in my fiery cage. I could feel the wind spinning round me and the fire in my finger tips already. This was going to be fun.
I scrambled back up the ivy clinging steps, the stones sliding under my feet and grating into the gravel. In a very quite manner I padded through the huge, high hallway. My feet cold and bare on its wooden floor boards, and swinging myself round with a hand on the door frame entered the white marble, gold and red velvet bathroom. Checking the place for all absence before pushing the door closed quietly and pulling my clothes back on. (This took a while).
"Where have you been." my father gripped my elbow almost the minute I was back in the dining room.

"We're guests you rude girl! You can't just disappear off the face of the ruddy earth!" he spat and exploded into apologises to the Ruthfords. He was infuriated.
"The sun is setting Sir Luvvet. T’is no worries about the child. Remember we have one of our own." he nodded to me and I gave him a sort of sarcastic breathless smile.
"we are used to ones attitude." the other muttered. I gave him a more stony smile with a hardened jaw and slit eyes, I almost smiled in satisfaction when he shied away in fear. Raising an eye brow I turned back to father.
"See daddy? No upset." he sighed defeated, he was getting to old for so much anger. and to be honest if he carries on like this I may have to kill him.
It was awkward to say the least on the way back. Every moment tense as if he just wanted to turn round and bite my head off. He completely ignored me as we got out and I knew he'd ignore me for the rest of the evening, as he does when he can’t be bothered to tell me he's annoyed any other way. So I took it for granted and ran upstairs, throwing my closest door open and pulling out my sexiest, blood red, lacy corset and matching pants, garter and stockings. I slipped a loose white dress over the top and sighed when I realised how UN sexy my hair was. Beautiful but not sexy. so I pushed it round to one side with red ruby slides and used my led eye liner for dark eyes.
Slipping out side I made my way through the damp, slowly fading, evening to the rickety stables where I chose a black satin horse and pulled it out gently. After gearing it up I threw myself on top and rode off into the night, severely hoping no one would check the stables till later. Oscar, I knew where he lived. He had mentioned it whilst talking to Lyra, I pick up things like that. And god forbid it was a house, a one floored shack, but a house never the less. He lived on his own. I knocked on the door.
He opened it looking worn down and... lonely. I flashed a seductive smile. His eyes widened,
"Wait, aint you...?" I shushed him and lay a finger on his lips before pushing past and waltzing into the dimly lit... room? it had a small stove, thin rug, a cushion and part of the wall there was a hole in that looked like some form of bed, a chamber pot at its end. The main thing was a small collection of bare art essentials on a small table, only fit for sketching and so on. Then a beautiful picture of Lyra on the wall he had sketched. I tried not to gaze at it for too long, tried not to think what it would be like for someone to draw a picture of me?

"Can I be of assistance?"
"I saw you the other day Oscar." I barley whispered, dragging my gaze from the wall and meeting his deep eyes. "Something inside me purred." I pulled my dress over my head and dropped it on the floor at arm length, a small cheeky smile painting my lips. Then I walked over to the bed and lay down on my side, resting my head on my hand propped up on my elbow and my arm laying over my curves.
"Handsome. Kind, Loving. Creative..." I flashed a discreet look at his picture. "Could be mine." I beckoned him forward. "Oscar." I dragged his name out,
"What are you doing." he asked defensively. I turned to my back and put my arms above my head, stretching out. "oh Oscar." I moaned,
"Miss please." I peered through my glossy hair with innocent eyes,
"You should be flattered." he picked up my dress and glared at me, that glare made me jerk. I wasn't expecting it, I was expecting him to melt into me.
"You don't need her." I nodded at the picture. His eyes turned to slits and he threw my bunched up dress at me.
"Get out." he hissed.
"what?" not quite sure whether or not he was rejecting me.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW." He yelled, something burning vividly in his jewel set eyes. "Or I swear to god..." I jumped up in dismay. I. Just. Got, Rejected.
I could of killed him. Could of ripped his fucking head off, But there was something about the way he had fantasised with Lyra, the way he had a look of kindness in his eyes. the way he had bed head her but could get away with it looking cute. Tears buzzed in my head but had no way of showing. Then embarrassment stung like a knife through the heart and I pulled my dress on. None of the emotions I let show. I pulled my back up, flicked my hair back and tried to smile. Hoping it wasn't a grimace.
"Your loss." and walked out. Making my way along a short cut, a secret little valley. dark as night. Hurt welling like fire in my throat.
The air was still but a sudden flap of wind circled round my shoulders and I froze. Fear erupting inside me. Something moved behind me and I spun round, my breath caught in my throat, then something landed in front of me. I turned round and nearly died in shock.
Not him, anyone but him. Not him. please please please not him. With his ash blond hair and fearful dark red eyes. That one freckle under his right eye I always used to find cute. Those sharp, white teeth. I swallowed and stepped back.
"No Rowan. No please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I repeated trying not to fall over. He smiled and licked his teeth.
"I still love you." I tried to persuade.
"LIES." he yelled, and lies they were indeed.
Tears of fear were crashing down my face now.
"Don't kill me." I shook. "Don't.. don't."
"Give me one reason why not." he hissed and flashed behind me. I spun round.
"Your weak. it would be easy." I shook my head frantically. He ripped my dress of with a snarl.
"Still love me eh?" he asked, eyeing what I was wearing beneath.
"No you don't understand. Please." he pushed me against a wall so my shoulder blades cracked. I screamed in pain, tears stringing my face.
"Stop it please. Let me go. I'm sorry! I'm sorry for what I did!" I repeated.
"Sorry is nothing more than a word you foolish girl. I'm not here to kill you." he hissed, enjoying every moment.
"You're going to do something worse aren't you?" I trembled, regretting ever asking.
"Remember all those nights we spent together, over the glory of our people?" I nodded slowly. "I'm going to ruin every memory. And whilst it's happening not only do I want you to feel humiliation, but pain as well." a blade flipped open from a knife handle in his hand. I felt my insides break and he had me naked before I realised he'd ripped the rest off.

He left me there, naked, bleeding, and crying on a cold night in a dark alley way. I was feeling it again, the same pain as before when it happened...