Of Moons, Birds, and Monsters

The first two hours of night school wasn’t bad. It wasn’t really schooling, though. Mr. Johnson, the English teacher, wasn’t very strict. The class was supposed to be reading Hamlet and write an essay on it. Mr. Johnson didn’t seem too worried that the students spent the whole hour socializing instead. He himself was insinuating conversations with the students. He seemed like the teacher that was more worried about being the ‘cool teacher’ than the teacher that actually teaches. I was fine with it, though. I already read Hamlet three times, and have written twice as many essays on it.

I wasn’t used to the language and speech Mason and his friends used. They spent the whole two hours talking about sex, who gives the best blowjobs, who has the biggest ass and the smallest boobs. I spent the whole class period clutching my shirt so they wouldn’t dare look my way. They didn’t, and for that I was grateful.

I was kind of getting tired of being here. I was never one to hate school, but I didn’t really enjoy it either. Night school was too easy for me. Both Mr. Johnson and Ms. Coursey gave me what they considered challenging tasks since I was supposed to be in a higher level classes. I finished my assignments before the one hour mark, even on my physics work.

I took a seat on the curb between Mason and a student named John. We were outside doing some project for Ms. Coursey. Since some of the students were lagging behind on the academic scale, she was teaching algebra to the majority of the class. She said she liked to make school as fun as possible. She’s kind of old though. So her idea of fun was a bit boring. The rest of the class was measuring the shadows of poles and trees, using algebra to find out the actual height of the trees and poles. Mason and John were forced to sit on the curb. They were throwing pinecones at each other instead of helping their group do the work.

“I’ll kick your face in you fat fuck,” Mason threatened, leaning over so he could see John.

“Why don’t you come over here and do it, dick yanker,” John snapped back.

“Motherfucker, I’ll make you snort dog shit with a straw,” Mason growled.

“Really?” John laughed, his fat face disappearing in its self. “That’s pretty inventive.”

“Fuck yeah, dude,” Mason laughed, showing his big white teeth.

I raised my eyebrows at them in confusion. Not even four seconds ago they were threatening to beat each other, and now they’re laughing like old friends? The male mind is something I never understand.

“I still hate you, you son of a bitch,” John said, his smile vanishing in an instant.

“I’d find it extremely homo if you didn’t hate me, you fat piece of shit,” Mason snorted.

“You wish I was homo,” John scoffed.

“The only person who wishes you were a homo is Jesse Lee,” Mason shot back. “You creep her the fuck out.”

“Come on now, guys,” Ms. Coursey pleaded, folding her hands in front of her. “I can’t even leave you hear for a few minutes by yourselves? You’re supposed to stay silent.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. C,” Mason said, faking sincerity. “John just keeps calling me mean names.”

“John,” Ms. Coursey huffed.

“He started it because he hates me,” John scolded.

“Awe, Mason doesn’t hate you,” Ms. Coursey disagreed, her strong Canadian accent presenting itself.

“Yes, I do,” Mason argued.

“Come on now, Mason,” Ms. Coursey frowned, making more wrinkles on her tired face. We don’t hate people.”

“Do you believe in life after love?” John sang, closing his eyes and holding his heart. “I can feel something inside me say, ‘I really don’t think you’re strong enough, now!”

“Beautiful voice, John,” Mason sarcastically commented.

“Well, I know that I’ll get through this!” he sang louder, shaking his shoulders and bringing in jazz hands. I couldn’t help but slap my hand over my face and laugh at him. Ms. Coursey just looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he continued to butcher the song.

“I, uh, I don’t think you sound quite like Cher,” Ms. Coursey sadly informed him.

“What?!” John yelled, obviously offended. “Of course I sound like Cher! I’ve got the manly voice like her!”

“No, John,” I laughed. “You don’t sound like her.”

John looked at me with a dropped jaw and a furrowed brow.

“Don’t listen to them, Fat ass,” Mason told him, waving his hand at me and Ms. Coursey. “You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you, Mason,” John nodded. “I appreciate that.”

“Its like a combination of Fergie and Jesus,” Mason complimented.

“THAT’S THE BEST MOVIE EVER!” John yelled, pointing a finger at Mason in surprise.

“Did we just become best friends?” Mason quoted, stomping to his feet.

“Yep!” John angrily agreed, also getting to his feet.

“What are they talking about?” Ms. Coursey asked, looking at me with a confused look.

“They’re quoting a movie called ‘Step-Brothers’,” I explained. “I haven’t seen it, though.”

“What?!” John shouted, looking at me with wide eyes. “You’ve never seen Step-Brothers?!”

I shook my head no, and shrugged. I heard everybody quoting it, but I had never seen it. I didn’t have a DVD player at my house. The only reason why there was a TV in the living room was so Dawn could watch Fox, or as she liked to call it, The Anti-Obama Network.

“HOW can you be Luke’s girlfriend and not have seen that movie?!” Mason yelled, yanking on his thick wavy hair in frustration.

“Luke Bulles?” Ms. Coursey asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Luke Moreno,” I corrected. It instantly made me wrinkle my nose when I did. I found it odd that I corrected her instead of letting Mason do it. I was getting too used to the idea.

“I remember him,” Ms. Coursey nodded. “I had him in ninth grade. Fourth period. He was a sleeper, but he did okay. Of course, I think his older brother, Jack, helped him on most of the work.”

“Riley Rah-Rizzle, I can not associate myself with you if you haven’t seen that movie,” Mason sighed.

“No, dude, it’s okay,” John argued. “We’ll just act some of it out for her.”

“Oh jeez,” Ms. Coursey groaned, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don't even think about it. Just name it,” John demanded, making his voice in a higher pitch to note he was in character mode. “Ready? One, two, three!”

“Velociraptor!” They shouted in unison.

“Alright, what’s your favorite….” Mason paused and looked at Ms. Coursey with his mouth twisted to the side. He was probably trying to figure out a way to censor what he was going to say next.

“Okay, What’s your favorite non-blah blah blah magazine to blah to?” Mason asked, leaving the blahs to a limited imagination.

“Good House Keeping!” The two shouted in excitement.

“How about I have you repeat that to Mr. Higgins?” Ms. Coursey asked, definitely not amused by the quoting that was going on. “And then he’ll call your mother and have you repeat to her?”

“Ew,” Mason mumbled in disgust.

“Yeah, Mason!” John laughed. “I wanna know what your mom’s favorite non-blah blah blah magazine to blah to is!”

“John!” Ms. Coursey barked.

“I’m sorry Ms. Coursey,” John said quickly, sitting back down on the curb.

“Have I ever told you that you look like a younger, brunette version of Ellen Degeneres?” Mason asked, sitting next to me on the curb.

“Nice try,” she snorted. “I’m about twenty years older than her.”

“Yeah, but you’re as cool as her,” John added, clearly joining Mason in this ass-kissing fest.

“Why thank you,” she smiled. “But you still have to sit here.”

“That’s okay,” Mason nodded, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Yo! Ms. Coursey!” one of the students yelled from behind us. “It’s seven fifty-six? Can we bounce now?”

Ms. Coursey glanced down at her wrist watch and sighed.

“Yeah, I guess,” she answered. “Come on back here, guys!”

I looked behind me, and saw the students grouping together, trying to get rip off the last few answers from their partner. They were moving awfully slow.

“Once you give me your papers you can leave!” Ms. Coursey hollered.

The students quickly looked up from their paper and bolted toward the short teacher. Some of the people that didn’t finish copying groaned incrustation and shoved the paper into Ms. Coursey’s hand.

“Riley, page twelve in the book, problems one through fifteen, she reminded me with a nod. “Due Thursday.”

“Got it,” I smiled and walked with Mason to the front of the school.

We met up with Kass, Louie, Travis and TJ and sat on the curb while we waited for Luke to pick me up.

“Hey, Bang-Bang is having a party this weekend,” Louie said, slapping Mason’s knee. “You coming?”

“Fuck yeah, man!” Mason exclaimed, doing some weird handshake with Louie.

“You’re coming too, Rizzle,” Kass informed me with a nod.

“No, I can’t.” I shook my head. “I have to work.”

“Where do you work?” TJ asked.

“I baby sit Luke and Jack’s sisters,” I answered.

“Pfft, invite the punk-ass Moreno brothers, too!” TJ snorted. “Jack never denies Bang-Bang’s party. Squid has never been allowed to a Bang-Bang party.”

“’Cause they are off the chizz-ain!” Kass cheered, his voice going up at least four pitches. He smashed his fist against Louie’s and nodded as some Bro-Code agreement.

“I’m not going," I told him, picking at my shoelace.

“Why not?” Louie asked, smacking his teeth.

“I hate parties.”

The response I got made it seem like I stabbed them in the neck with a fork. They all gasped and looked at me like I had four noses.

“That’s because you’ve never partied with us,” TJ insisted. “I’m saying, we gotta break you in.”

“I’d rather not,” I mumbled.

“Oh, don’t be such a boner killer,” Mason groaned. “Squid will be there with you.”

“Yeah, and maybe you’ll be drunk enough to fuck him,” Travis said hopefully.

“No,” I laughed, shaking my head.

“You’re boring,” Louie flat out said with a wrinkled nose.

“Ehh, she’s just a newbie,” Mason defended, batting my back. “She’s used to Squid being all blushy and weird.”

I rolled my eyes at Mason and his friends. They weren’t the type of people I would want to hang out with. They were vulgar, care free, and a bit dense. If I had to take a shot for every time someone said ‘bro,’ dude,’ or ‘man,’ I would have murdered my poor kidney.

My heart jumped into my throat when I saw my blue cavalier pull into the school parking lot. I was able to go home and get some sleep. And, I get to have some time away from these guys. It was just too much for my first day. I was exhausted.

Luke pulled up to the parking space that the six of us were sitting in front of and got out of the car. I stood up and leaned on the hood of my car.

“Well, well, well,” TJ said slowly, flexing his eyebrows. “If it isn’t Mr. Squid.”

“What’s up?” Luke asked, standing next to me and leaning on the car.

“We heard you got yourself a girlfriend,” Louie smirked.

“I don’t believe it though,” Travis quickly added, folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Sorry, Travis,” Luke shrugged, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

I would have turned red, but I was too determined to make them think that Luke and I were really together. So, I leaned my head on his shoulder and looked at Mason.

“Squid, Bang-Bang is throwing a party this weekend. You down?” Mason asked.

“Hell yeah!” Luke exclaimed.

“Ooh, bad boyfriend,” Louie mumbled. “Didn’t even ask if Rizzle wanted to go.”

“She hates parties,” Luke shrugged, looking down at me. “Right?”

“Ooh! Strike two, Squid!” TJ tisked.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Luke thought it was because I was annoyed with him. He quickly started to try and rephrase.

“No, I’m just saying--”

“Chill, Squid,” Mason chuckled. “We’re already forcing her to go.”

“Oh,” Luke sighed, relaxing the tension in his shoulders.

“If I was you Rizzle, I’d kick him in the dick,” Louie nodded.

“He’d have to have one,” Mason snorted.

“Why are you so obsessed with his junk?” I asked wearing a teasing smile. “You’ve mentioned it at least seven times since I’ve been around.”

“Yeah, Mase,” Kass laughed, pulling Mason’s hair. “Why do you keep thinking about Squid’s dick?”

“Can we not talk about my crotch?” Luke asked, confused as to why his genitals were the conversation topic.

“Yeah, I agree,” TJ chimed in, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Why don’t you two kids go on home, cuddle, and watch reruns of Mash while we go to Bang-Bang’s house,” Travis sighed.

“Shut up,” Luke sneered, walking to the passenger’s side of the car.

“See you guys tomorrow,” I waved, jumping into the car and peeling out of the parking lot.

“Could you get away fast enough?” Luke laughed, just now fitting his seatbelt into the slot.

“That is just too much to handle,” I laughed, stopping at the stoplight and shaking my head.

“Yeah, they take some getting used to,” Luke sighed. “I’m still not completely used to them and I’ve known them most of my life.”

“Not encouraging,” I nervously chuckled, turning down Pine Street.

“Sorry,” he laughed. “But it’s going to be especially hectic for you. You know, since you’re my girlfriend and all.”

“I was surprised you knew to play along,” I admitted.

“You already told me that Mason said that to them,” he reminded me.

“I forgot I told you about that,” I mumbled.

“I was confused for a second. But, then I picked up on it,” he admitted with a shrug.

“Mason is one of the biggest liars I’ve ever met,” I mumbled, shaking my head.

“Yeah, he tends to do that a lot,” Luke agreed.

“Who knows what he’s going to come up with next? He’s so comfortable with it, and everybody believes him!”

“Travis didn’t,” Luke pointed out.

“Well, that’s mainly because they didn’t believe it was you,” I informed him. “They kept talking about Alison Ross.”

“Oh, God,” he groaned, slamming his head on the window. “She freaks me out.”

“Why?” I asked, trying not to laugh at his hatred towards her.

“The first time I met her, she came up to me in the hallway and was doing that whole giggly flirty ‘Hi, I’m Alison. I love your hair!’ thing. I just said thanks, and went on my way,” he explained.

“The next day she came up to me and asked if I remembered her. I said yeah, and told her who she was. Nothing major, really. She just kept kind of waving at me every time she saw me. Then I think it was around the fifth day, she freakin’ turned into the Hulk and slammed me against the lockers. She started biting my neck and grabbing my junk, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY!”

I started laughing at the fact that he was getting re-pissed about the situation. Most guys would be telling the story with pride instead of irritation. I knew Alison Ross. She was one of the more popular girls in school who was always involved with every piece of high school drama imaginable. She would be pretty if she didn’t rip her hair apart with combs and cover her face with layers of make-up. She did have a pretty bad reputation with the guys. It was said that she’s as easy as an Easy Bake Oven.

“Sounds like she had the hots for you, Luke,” I laughed.

“I felt bad for pushing her off me, ‘cause I accidentally knocked her into Janice Tolues, and I’m sure you remember how insanely huge Janice Toules was?” Luke asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, I do remember,” I nodded. Janice barely fit in the tiny wooden desks we were given. She usually had a chair and the teacher’s back podium as a desk.

“Well, it turn out she doesn’t really like Alison Ross,” Luke announced. “So when Alison fell into her, Janice pulled her by her hair and started beating the crap out of her.”

“Nice going, Squid,” I snickered.

“Then I felt really bad. But then the next day she got her whole little friend group to come up to me and fill me in on how much she loved me and all that,” Luke snorted, rolling his eyes. “Then I got over it real fast.”

“Does she still come around you?” I asked, trying to hold in my laughter.

“No. When her friends are around, she’ll push me when she walks by and says some weird shit to her friends. But when they’re not around, she looks at me all funny. Like she’s waiting for me to hug her or something,” he answered with a wrinkled nose.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing that Janice kicked her ass then, huh?” I chuckled.

“I wish she would do that with Taylor Millionser,” he sighed. “She started doing the same thing. Her and Alison had a bitch-match in front of my locker over it.”

“You sound like quite the ladies man,” I said with raised eyebrows. I had no idea that other girls looked at him like that. Especially girls like Taylor and Alison. They could get anybody if they wanted. Besides Luke, that is.

“A lot of them have crushes on Jack, actually,” he informed me. “I’m his little brother, so I’m plan B.”

“Aren’t you lucky?” I giggled, pulling down his street.

“Well, it’s mostly the whores that like Jack. He flirts with everybody. But there is a few girls that do like me, not Jack.”

“Do you talk to them?” I asked, not really sure why I felt little mad.

“Not really,” he answered, scratching his head. “They don’t really talk to me. There’s one that always talks to me about my hair, and that’s it. She’ll just run up behind me and start groping my head. It’s kind of weird.”

“Girls get really confused when they’re around some one they like,” I informed him, wearing a smile. “Sometimes they really don’t know what to do.”

“I dunno, I just kind of stay out of that stuff,” he shrugged. “I mean, girls are just too hard to understand.”

“That’s why you talk to them, goofy,” I chuckled, pulling into his driveway.

“I don’t know how!” he exclaimed, raising his arms in frustration. “You and Izzy are the only girls that I really talk to. And you worked in my house six days a week for two months before I really started talking to you.”

“Well, it’s not that hard,” I shrugged, parking in his driveway. “Just find a girl that you think is cute, go up to her, and just start yapping away.”

“About what?” he asked, his face twisted in confusion.

“Anything. Just be like, ‘Uhm, hey. I’m Luke. I noticed you had a Beatles bag. That’s pretty awesome’,” I suggested. “And if she acts interested in what you say, just keep going. Ask her what other ands she likes, and then move onto films.”

“You are a genius,” he declared, with wide eyes.

“Why thank you,” I nodded.

“Hey, Jack is off on Thursday,” Luke began, taking off his seatbelt and opening the car door. “He's going to be staying at Izzy's house. If you want to spend the night, you can.”

“Are you sure your parents are going to approve of that?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“They don’t have to know,” he shrugged.

“And how exactly are you planning on sneaking me in?” I chuckled.

“I have a window,” he smiled.

“You’re going to make me climb through a window!?” I asked in disbelief.

“C’mon!” he pleaded, stomping his feet. “It’ll only take like fifteen seconds to get through a window. I live in a one story house. It’s not that hard.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. I didn’t really like the idea of crawling through a window to lay in a room where I wasn’t allowed in. If his parents ever found out that I was staying the night in their son’s room while one of them was absent, I would lose my job without a second thought.

“I dunno, Luke,” I shrugged.

“Please?” he begged, twisting his mouth to the side. “Stay?”

I sighed and stared him down. He stuck his lip out and did his best to give me puppy eyes.

“Alright,” I caved. “You win. I’ll stay the night on Thursday.”

“Sweet,” he nodded with a grin. “See you.”

“Bye,” I laughed, shaking my head as he shut the car door behind him.

I sped home to get much needed rest.