It's All There
I. Empty
A strange spark went through my body. From my heels to my scalp. And with that, I knew I was alive. Born. I was confused though. Where was I? I searched through my mind, seeking an answer. So much information to look through! It didn't take long though to find reason. I wasn't born, and I wasn't exactly alive either. I was created. By my creator. My master.
"Is she awake?" a high pitched voice rang in my ears; a woman speaking, I realized. It was very close to where I lay.
"Yes." This voice was deeper; a man was speaking this time. Though he wasn't as close as the woman. I recognized this voice, somehow. It was my master's voice. Strange. I don't know how I could have possibly heard his voice before. I was not...aware then to hear anything.
Then I heard footsteps coming closer to me. "What's your name?" he asked, probably to me. I knew the answer right away oddly enough, so my eyes shot open and I spoke for the first time.
"My name is Skye, experiment 13XB." My voice was dull and monotone, though it sounded very similar to the woman's. Hmmm. What was her name? I searched through the information in my head again. Ah, I remembered now. It was Scarlet.
My master gave me a half smile, approvingly. "Good. And do you know who I am?"
I answer right away as I had when he asked for my name. "Of course. You are my creator and master. Joseph Aaron Wilson."
"She certainly does know a lot," Scarlet said with admiration.
"Well, I didn't just program her to know the basics." He grinned.
My eyes gave my surroundings a quick scan. I was in a laboratory, laying, now sitting up, on a table. A light was shinning brightly over me. It wasn't bright at all, yet Scarlet was squinting slightly while looking in my direction. Huh. I guess it was just me then.
Scarlet's smile then grew wider. "Oh, Joseph! It really worked! After all these years, it finally worked!" She then did something I didn't recognize. She wrapped her arms around Joseph's torso and kissed his cheek. Why? This movement was not familiar to me. Like speaking Japanese to an American. They wouldn't know what the point you were trying to get across was. Though I knew Japanese. I knew many languages. Some of them were dead languages even. Latin was one of them.
Joseph smiled hugely in return, but then pulled her arms off and walked closed to me.
"It's been five years," he muttered, mostly to himself, "and I finally succeeded!" He reached out to me. His hand caught a piece of my hair and twisted it in fingers. Then he brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. Though I could feel his hand there on my face, I could not tell what the temperature of his skin was, or even if it was soft or hard.
"It's like looking into a mirror!" Scarlet rejoiced. She clapped her hands. A mirror? What did that mean? I looked like her?
Was I aloud to ask questions out loud? I guess I would find out. "I do not understand. Do I look very much like you, Scarlet?"
Instead of an answer, Scarlet started laughing. Even Joseph smiled a bit. "Yes," she said. "You look very much like me. Well, how do I put this? You are me!" She laughed again. "Well, you are me from five years ago. I'm old now." She walked over to the counter on the right side of me and grabbed something. She came right next to my side and held up a mirror. Sure enough, I was her. Well, a younger version of her, at least. I had the same blondish brown hair with strands of white blond just like her. And I had the same fair skin which was slightly pink around my cheeks. I did not have her eyes though. While hers were green, mine were a light grayish color. I didn't like how my eyes looked so dull. I envied Scarlet's sparkling bright mint green irises.
"She isn't you though. She just a clone of you," Joseph said. "Now, let's hope that will be the only questions she'll be asking."
"Just because she asks one question you don't have to get all huffy. Nothing is perfect."
Joseph frowned and I realized something.
"What exactly am I?" One more question wouldn't hurt.
"You're a clone of Scarlet on the outside, but on the inside you're a robot." He didn't like having to explain things to me. So in fact one more question would hurt. He wanted me to be perfect. I would just have to keep my mouth shut from now on until he asked me a question.
"You might as well just tell her everything. She probably has questions burning inside her," Scarlet murmured to him. She was only half right though. I had a couple questions yes, but they were not burning at all. I could wait to get some answers. They were not that important.
Joseph let out a frustrated sigh but did not protest. "Very well." He took a deep breath. "Five years ago I took some DNA from Scarlet so you would look human. On the outside at least. That's why you look like her younger self. Now, I couldn't just make a clone of Scarlet, you see, because I needed something much more advanced in basically everything. So I made you part robot."
"Why am I here? What do you need me for?" Just those questions I needed answered; the rest was not that important.
"You are here because I fear that as I grow older and older, I will start to forget everything I've learned over time. Not a very pleasant thought. And since you will never die, you'll be around for quite a long time. If I need any information that I've forgotten, I turn to you. Very simple reason, wouldn't you say so? I've programmed you to know everything I know, and more."
Then why do I feel so empty inside? But I did not ask that question out loud. For some reason, I felt like I was missing something. I could not quite put my finger on it.
* * *
Later that evening as Joseph and Scarlet ate dinner I waited outside; I did not eat food. Mostly because I did not have the proper organs to do so. I sat cross legged on the porch watching the sun fade behind the trees and the sky turn pink and orange to dark blue and then to blackish purple. I could have sat like that all night but as soon as it started to rain a little I ran back inside. Joseph told me that water or any kind of liquid could do some serious damage to me.
Besides the laboratory downstairs in the basement, the rest of the house was fairly normal. I closed the front door behind me and walked down the hall and straight into the kitchen where Scarlet was washing dishes. She heard my approach and turned to smile at me.
My lips twitched as I tried to smile in return. It was surprisingly hard, for me at least. I am sure it is no problem for humans to smile. It was automatic for them.
"You going to bed now, Skye?" Scarlet asked warmly. I could not help but like her. Since I had met her, she had been only pleasant and kind.
I shook my head. "No. I do not sleep." I could not sleep. It was very nearly impossible. I guess I could sleep if I was to shut down while charging. Like a battery. I did not like thinking about it like that. I am not a battery. It felt like an insult.
"Oh." She laughed a little. "That's right. You don't. I'll have to remember that you may look like a normal human, but you don't do every human thing. Like eat." She laughed again.
I nodded. "I will see you in the morning then," I said and went up the stairs to Joseph's office. I needed to ask him one more thing. I felt like I was saying that a lot. It was not exactly my fault though. All these questions just started popping up into my thoughts.
I knocked quietly on the door.
"What? What do you want?" he asked angrily. "Who is it?" I must have interrupted him in the middle of something important.
"It's Skye. I just have a question."
"What is it?" he growled. His perfect creation was asking him questions because they did not know the answers. I was a disgrace to him.
"Well," I hesitated, "I was just wondering...about..." It felt a bit awkward asking this question now. "Why can I not smile?"
It was silent for a while and then he said, "Come in."
I opened the door and walked in slowly. Joseph was sitting at his desk, eyes over a pile of papers. He removed his glasses from his face and he looked up at me.
He gestured to a chair in the corner. "Sit down, 13XB."
I did as he said. I folded my hands in my lap, a little nervous. I guess it was just when I talked to Joseph. He was not the friendliest of people, I assume.
"You were not my first experiment, 13XB," he started. "Though you are the first experiment that actually was successful. I've tried twelve times already. My first one, Ezekiel, experiment 1XB. I used the DNA of an old friend of mine, though Ezekiel had many problems. Just the way I programmed him. He was distracted by the many books at the library and the pictures in the art museum. I disposed of him after the first week." He shook his head, frowning.
"Then there was Meredith, experiment 2XB. Like Ezekiel, she was pulled away from her work that I needed her for and got sucked into the history of music. I always found her wandering in the music store down town." He sighed. "I deprogrammed her after day two."
I didn't realize that I was gripping the edge of the chair until Joseph chuckled darkly and said, "Don't worry, Skye. I don't think I'll dispose of you for quite some time. I'm pretty sure of you. You remind me of Algernon, experiment 9XB, a little. Algernon was very focused, hard working, and always wanted to know the details and things he didn't already know. I kept him for almost two years."
"What happened?" I couldn't help but ask.
He scowled and I cringed back a little in fear. "He fell in love," Joseph said through his teeth.
"Love..." I repeated quietly. What is that? Is love a hole that Algernon just fell into?
"I finally figured it out after three more experiments. It was the emotions and feelings that would distract them. Pretty much why it took me so long to create you. It takes a while to form a proper thinking mind without adding all that extra stuff in. But I couldn't take all of them out. Then you wouldn't be able to function properly. So after I put back all the emotions and feelings into your system, I took out the ones that would be too distracting. Like love, for example. You don't know what that is, do you, 13XB?"
I just shook my head.
"You also don't know how to form specific expressions. That would probably explain why you can't smile. Nor can you cry, laugh, blush, all those things."
Cry? Blush? Love was not the only one I did not know then. I knew what laugh was. Though like smile, I could not form one.
"Will you tell me what they are? Show me?" I asked quietly.
He laughed once, but it didn't sound happy or amused like a laugh should be. "No. That would defeat the purpose of me spending five years creating you without those distracting feelings."
That seemed a little unfair. But I guess when you looked at it from his perspective it made sense. Was this the empty feeling I was felt earlier?
"I just have one more question...." I said.
"Ah," he groaned, "it appears that curiosity was one of the distractions that I missed. Too late now, I guess." He rubbed his eyes with his hand and then checked the time on his wrist watch.
I shut my mouth quickly. The last thing I would want to do is displease my master. So I got up from the chair and headed for the door to leave before my curiosity got the best of me.
"Charge up well tonight, Skye. We've got a big day tomorrow," he called after me.
I bit my lip, fighting the urge to ask what we would be doing tomorrow that was so big. I nodded once and shut the door behind me as I left.
As I walked through the hallway I noticed a door with a little note on it. I would not have read it, but out of the corner of my eye I saw my name. I looked closely and read the note. It said:
Skye-
I know you don’t sleep, but if you’d like some privacy, I cleared out this room. We don’t use it for anything important really, just storage space. Feel free to use it.
-Scarlet
Well, that was very nice of her. I opened the door and walked into my room. It was very dark and I could not see anything. My hand searched around for a light switch on the wall.
“Oh,” I said as I found the switch and flipped it up. The room wasn’t very big. But that was okay. I didn’t even really need a room.
"Is she awake?" a high pitched voice rang in my ears; a woman speaking, I realized. It was very close to where I lay.
"Yes." This voice was deeper; a man was speaking this time. Though he wasn't as close as the woman. I recognized this voice, somehow. It was my master's voice. Strange. I don't know how I could have possibly heard his voice before. I was not...aware then to hear anything.
Then I heard footsteps coming closer to me. "What's your name?" he asked, probably to me. I knew the answer right away oddly enough, so my eyes shot open and I spoke for the first time.
"My name is Skye, experiment 13XB." My voice was dull and monotone, though it sounded very similar to the woman's. Hmmm. What was her name? I searched through the information in my head again. Ah, I remembered now. It was Scarlet.
My master gave me a half smile, approvingly. "Good. And do you know who I am?"
I answer right away as I had when he asked for my name. "Of course. You are my creator and master. Joseph Aaron Wilson."
"She certainly does know a lot," Scarlet said with admiration.
"Well, I didn't just program her to know the basics." He grinned.
My eyes gave my surroundings a quick scan. I was in a laboratory, laying, now sitting up, on a table. A light was shinning brightly over me. It wasn't bright at all, yet Scarlet was squinting slightly while looking in my direction. Huh. I guess it was just me then.
Scarlet's smile then grew wider. "Oh, Joseph! It really worked! After all these years, it finally worked!" She then did something I didn't recognize. She wrapped her arms around Joseph's torso and kissed his cheek. Why? This movement was not familiar to me. Like speaking Japanese to an American. They wouldn't know what the point you were trying to get across was. Though I knew Japanese. I knew many languages. Some of them were dead languages even. Latin was one of them.
Joseph smiled hugely in return, but then pulled her arms off and walked closed to me.
"It's been five years," he muttered, mostly to himself, "and I finally succeeded!" He reached out to me. His hand caught a piece of my hair and twisted it in fingers. Then he brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. Though I could feel his hand there on my face, I could not tell what the temperature of his skin was, or even if it was soft or hard.
"It's like looking into a mirror!" Scarlet rejoiced. She clapped her hands. A mirror? What did that mean? I looked like her?
Was I aloud to ask questions out loud? I guess I would find out. "I do not understand. Do I look very much like you, Scarlet?"
Instead of an answer, Scarlet started laughing. Even Joseph smiled a bit. "Yes," she said. "You look very much like me. Well, how do I put this? You are me!" She laughed again. "Well, you are me from five years ago. I'm old now." She walked over to the counter on the right side of me and grabbed something. She came right next to my side and held up a mirror. Sure enough, I was her. Well, a younger version of her, at least. I had the same blondish brown hair with strands of white blond just like her. And I had the same fair skin which was slightly pink around my cheeks. I did not have her eyes though. While hers were green, mine were a light grayish color. I didn't like how my eyes looked so dull. I envied Scarlet's sparkling bright mint green irises.
"She isn't you though. She just a clone of you," Joseph said. "Now, let's hope that will be the only questions she'll be asking."
"Just because she asks one question you don't have to get all huffy. Nothing is perfect."
Joseph frowned and I realized something.
"What exactly am I?" One more question wouldn't hurt.
"You're a clone of Scarlet on the outside, but on the inside you're a robot." He didn't like having to explain things to me. So in fact one more question would hurt. He wanted me to be perfect. I would just have to keep my mouth shut from now on until he asked me a question.
"You might as well just tell her everything. She probably has questions burning inside her," Scarlet murmured to him. She was only half right though. I had a couple questions yes, but they were not burning at all. I could wait to get some answers. They were not that important.
Joseph let out a frustrated sigh but did not protest. "Very well." He took a deep breath. "Five years ago I took some DNA from Scarlet so you would look human. On the outside at least. That's why you look like her younger self. Now, I couldn't just make a clone of Scarlet, you see, because I needed something much more advanced in basically everything. So I made you part robot."
"Why am I here? What do you need me for?" Just those questions I needed answered; the rest was not that important.
"You are here because I fear that as I grow older and older, I will start to forget everything I've learned over time. Not a very pleasant thought. And since you will never die, you'll be around for quite a long time. If I need any information that I've forgotten, I turn to you. Very simple reason, wouldn't you say so? I've programmed you to know everything I know, and more."
Then why do I feel so empty inside? But I did not ask that question out loud. For some reason, I felt like I was missing something. I could not quite put my finger on it.
* * *
Later that evening as Joseph and Scarlet ate dinner I waited outside; I did not eat food. Mostly because I did not have the proper organs to do so. I sat cross legged on the porch watching the sun fade behind the trees and the sky turn pink and orange to dark blue and then to blackish purple. I could have sat like that all night but as soon as it started to rain a little I ran back inside. Joseph told me that water or any kind of liquid could do some serious damage to me.
Besides the laboratory downstairs in the basement, the rest of the house was fairly normal. I closed the front door behind me and walked down the hall and straight into the kitchen where Scarlet was washing dishes. She heard my approach and turned to smile at me.
My lips twitched as I tried to smile in return. It was surprisingly hard, for me at least. I am sure it is no problem for humans to smile. It was automatic for them.
"You going to bed now, Skye?" Scarlet asked warmly. I could not help but like her. Since I had met her, she had been only pleasant and kind.
I shook my head. "No. I do not sleep." I could not sleep. It was very nearly impossible. I guess I could sleep if I was to shut down while charging. Like a battery. I did not like thinking about it like that. I am not a battery. It felt like an insult.
"Oh." She laughed a little. "That's right. You don't. I'll have to remember that you may look like a normal human, but you don't do every human thing. Like eat." She laughed again.
I nodded. "I will see you in the morning then," I said and went up the stairs to Joseph's office. I needed to ask him one more thing. I felt like I was saying that a lot. It was not exactly my fault though. All these questions just started popping up into my thoughts.
I knocked quietly on the door.
"What? What do you want?" he asked angrily. "Who is it?" I must have interrupted him in the middle of something important.
"It's Skye. I just have a question."
"What is it?" he growled. His perfect creation was asking him questions because they did not know the answers. I was a disgrace to him.
"Well," I hesitated, "I was just wondering...about..." It felt a bit awkward asking this question now. "Why can I not smile?"
It was silent for a while and then he said, "Come in."
I opened the door and walked in slowly. Joseph was sitting at his desk, eyes over a pile of papers. He removed his glasses from his face and he looked up at me.
He gestured to a chair in the corner. "Sit down, 13XB."
I did as he said. I folded my hands in my lap, a little nervous. I guess it was just when I talked to Joseph. He was not the friendliest of people, I assume.
"You were not my first experiment, 13XB," he started. "Though you are the first experiment that actually was successful. I've tried twelve times already. My first one, Ezekiel, experiment 1XB. I used the DNA of an old friend of mine, though Ezekiel had many problems. Just the way I programmed him. He was distracted by the many books at the library and the pictures in the art museum. I disposed of him after the first week." He shook his head, frowning.
"Then there was Meredith, experiment 2XB. Like Ezekiel, she was pulled away from her work that I needed her for and got sucked into the history of music. I always found her wandering in the music store down town." He sighed. "I deprogrammed her after day two."
I didn't realize that I was gripping the edge of the chair until Joseph chuckled darkly and said, "Don't worry, Skye. I don't think I'll dispose of you for quite some time. I'm pretty sure of you. You remind me of Algernon, experiment 9XB, a little. Algernon was very focused, hard working, and always wanted to know the details and things he didn't already know. I kept him for almost two years."
"What happened?" I couldn't help but ask.
He scowled and I cringed back a little in fear. "He fell in love," Joseph said through his teeth.
"Love..." I repeated quietly. What is that? Is love a hole that Algernon just fell into?
"I finally figured it out after three more experiments. It was the emotions and feelings that would distract them. Pretty much why it took me so long to create you. It takes a while to form a proper thinking mind without adding all that extra stuff in. But I couldn't take all of them out. Then you wouldn't be able to function properly. So after I put back all the emotions and feelings into your system, I took out the ones that would be too distracting. Like love, for example. You don't know what that is, do you, 13XB?"
I just shook my head.
"You also don't know how to form specific expressions. That would probably explain why you can't smile. Nor can you cry, laugh, blush, all those things."
Cry? Blush? Love was not the only one I did not know then. I knew what laugh was. Though like smile, I could not form one.
"Will you tell me what they are? Show me?" I asked quietly.
He laughed once, but it didn't sound happy or amused like a laugh should be. "No. That would defeat the purpose of me spending five years creating you without those distracting feelings."
That seemed a little unfair. But I guess when you looked at it from his perspective it made sense. Was this the empty feeling I was felt earlier?
"I just have one more question...." I said.
"Ah," he groaned, "it appears that curiosity was one of the distractions that I missed. Too late now, I guess." He rubbed his eyes with his hand and then checked the time on his wrist watch.
I shut my mouth quickly. The last thing I would want to do is displease my master. So I got up from the chair and headed for the door to leave before my curiosity got the best of me.
"Charge up well tonight, Skye. We've got a big day tomorrow," he called after me.
I bit my lip, fighting the urge to ask what we would be doing tomorrow that was so big. I nodded once and shut the door behind me as I left.
As I walked through the hallway I noticed a door with a little note on it. I would not have read it, but out of the corner of my eye I saw my name. I looked closely and read the note. It said:
Skye-
I know you don’t sleep, but if you’d like some privacy, I cleared out this room. We don’t use it for anything important really, just storage space. Feel free to use it.
-Scarlet
Well, that was very nice of her. I opened the door and walked into my room. It was very dark and I could not see anything. My hand searched around for a light switch on the wall.
“Oh,” I said as I found the switch and flipped it up. The room wasn’t very big. But that was okay. I didn’t even really need a room.
♠ ♠ ♠
This was written a year or so ago, which means if you look between the fine lines, you find that there are some things that really don't make logic sense. X) Whoops.Anyway, I had this on Mibba at one point when I first got an account, but I deleted it. I thought it was lost forever until I found it on my old Livejournal. Haha.
I always liked the plot for this story. I feel like writing more of it. Perhaps I shall. Mwhaha...