Inside...

Dear mom,
Do you know that because of you I cry at night? Don't you realize all I wanted from you was your love? You make me believe that I did something, something to make you stop loving me. You know I hate the fact that I can barely get a hug from you let alone a kiss on the cheek. It hurts you know......so much. I can barely stand to watch you talk to my brother.....your prized child your first born. I can't help but to compare myself to him. What hurts the most is that I looked up to him he was my idol and to be sort of replaced by him it rips me open. The way your talk to him so lovingly, the way you call to him for something..even though i'm all ready just sitting there, the way you make me do something that he should have done instead...makes me so mad and so jealous because he does nothing while I try by fucking best to get your attention and it all goes to him. What pisses me off the most mother is that I still love you....so much.