Inside...

Dear Lynnie,

I miss calling out your name. Talking to you. Holding your hand. Teasing you. Listening to your sweet meek voice. Do you know how sad I was when you told me you liked me? I was really happy and sad at the same moment. I just couldn't bear the thought of being your girlfriend or something. I wanted to be with you, but what happened to me back then still holds me back from trusting anyone. I didn't like the fact that I had to put effort into loving someone, building a relationship. What if we did get together and the relationship just ends? Just like what happened before with me and Comets? Then I wouldn't be your friend.

Now, I just feel like dying. I lost you, even though we didn't get together. The truth is, I lied. I lied telling you I didn't like you anymore. In fact, I like you more, I like you even though we seperated schools and just texted each other. Even until the day I told you I didn't like you. The reason I lied is because I knew I wasn't going to make you happy. Hearing how happy you are today makes me smile but my heart just hurts.

I'm sorry I made it so hard on you. If only I wasn't afraid to commit to you, if only I was strong enough to admit how much I like you. God has given us each a place where we can be happy, and I'm afraid I wasn't yours. But Paolo's.

I'm so glad, I lied to you. If I hadn't, you woulnd't be happy with Paolo. I'm happy for you, Lyn. I just wish you would talk to me, but I guess you wouldn't want that.

You're so special, Lyn. Don't ever change. I heard you're becoming something you're not. Please don't. There will be no one else who will be as meek, gentle, loving, and yet strong as you.

I love you,
Mita