Finding Heaven

“You have a motorcycle?” I exclaimed. “You’re sixteen!”

“Yes, I am.” Alex grinned. “But I bend rules, so what the heck.”

He mounted his motorcycle—don’t even ask me what kind cause I don’t know anything about these things—put on his headgear, threw me an extra one, and then patted the sitting space behind him.

I looked at him incredulously.

“What, you’d rather walk?” I could see him raise an eyebrow.

I shrugged and mounted myself on the seat.

“Hold tight,” Alex said under his helmet.

Thump.

He’s like a brother—right?

Slowly, I wrapped my hands around his waist.

Thump.

“You good back there?” He asked as the engine roared.

No.

“Yes.” I lied.

My heart sped as fast as the motorcycle was running. We were going against the wind, and it felt like I would fly with it if I let go.

Unconsciously, I’d grabbed hold of him tighter than a second ago. He is so dead.

I could hear him chuckle, “I’m guessing you’d kick my ass once we arrive, huh?”

Thump.

“No.” I lied again. I’ll just tear you to pieces for making me do such an embarrassing thing.

The sea breeze snuck into my helmet, and I looked to my right. We were at the bay. The engine roared before it stopped.

Alex was taking his mask off now, shaking his hair wildly as the wind tossed it here and there. Then, he dismounted and took mine off.

“Let’s go.” He offered his hand.

Thump.

I took it.

Blood flamingly rushed into my cheeks when I felt how warm Alex’s hand was. For a moment, I was just staring at it—

Until he coughed, “Ahem.”

I looked up, startled, and then chuckled nervously. “Yeah, sorry.”

He started to lead me towards the railing that overlooked the ocean. “So, you and Chase…” Alex began shortly. “…were dating.”

“I’m sorry.” I apologized. “I-I was stupid. I should’ve believed in you.”

“Good thing I arrived in time though.” He sighed. “If I didn’t—“

Thump. His hand was still holding mine and his eyes were liquid blues as he stared at me.

“—something bad might’ve happened to you.”

I quickly broke away from his stare.

“Thanks.”

Then he noticed where his hand was, and he let go abruptly.

“Ah!” He exclaimed. “S-Sorry!”

He looked—nervous? And yes, it was the first time I heard Alex stutter.

He chuckled like it was forced. It was like he was saying ‘Ha ha ha’ as a word, if you know what I mean. “Yeah, so…”

“Why’d we go here anyway?” I asked shortly, just to break the awkwardness, still not looking at him. “It’s late after all, and we still have school tomorrow.”

Thump.

“Oh, right.” He answered, then started for the motorcycle. “Let’s go.”

I followed after him—

Doubting if I really did love him only as a brother.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I really don’t know.

~

Her hands curled around his waist, and her face rested on his back.

Alex’s heart raced hysterically the same way it had when she first mounted on the back seat. He was aware of her behind him. In fact, he was too aware.

Could she tell? He wondered. Could she hear my heartbeats? She's leaning on my back after all...

“Alex—”

His heart jumped for a second.

She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows...

“—how did you get a motorcycle?”

Oh.

“Oh, um, a friend sold it to me.” Alex answered, feeling relieved.

“I see.”

"Dakota?"

"Hmm?"

He was going to tell her.

He desperately wanted her to know—

But he was afraid to risk what they had now.

He shook his head and decided to shut his mouth.

For now, this is okay. This is the right decision.