Finding Heaven

The woman—Annabeth—had the same long red curls I had, and a beautiful serene face with deep brown eyes. She might be in her thirties or something, and by the way she was clothed, I could tell she bagged rich loot.

But I know, in my heart, who this woman was.

“Mom,” I repeated solemnly.

It was as if all the blood on her face was drained. I didn’t take my eyes off her.

She chuckled nervously after a moment, “Dearie, you might have thought of the wrong person.”

“You left me when I was seven, mom,” I snapped. “You left me in that orphanage back in Ohio when dad left. You promised to come back, but you never did—how could I have forgotten that?”

“What’s going on?” Chase asked.

“Your friend must be tired, Chase. Let’s not bother her,” Annabeth said as she brushed past me, yanking him by the elbow with her.

“I’m sorry,” I heard a low, almost indistinct voice say.

~

I didn’t bother following them.

Instead, I stood there, in the middle of the street, with snowflakes silently falling from the sky.

She didn’t recognize me—

No; she didn’t want to recognize you, my inner voice stated.

What do I do now?

~

“What are you going to do now?” Max asked him.

“Nothing,” Alex replied.

“Who knows what’ll happen if you let this go.”

“I don’t care. She doesn’t love me, Max. She loves Chase.”

Max turned and buried himself on a pile of pillows, “I’ll just tell you this: she loves you, but there must be something holding her back.”

“And what is that?”

“Like…” Max sat up and faced him. “…like why she wanted to study here. I mean, she wouldn’t be that desperate if she didn’t have a reason, correct?”

Alex thought about it for a moment, but still felt dubious, “Maybe she just wants to achieve her dream or something.”

“What is her dream?”

“To be able to study here?”

“Why?”

Max was testing him. What exactly is this twelve-year-old’s point?

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugged.

That was when Max broke into a wide, triumphant smile, “Then find out for yourself, instead of sulking here and acting all emo and stuff.”

~

It’s getting dark, I thought.

It was the 25th of December, and here I was, walking aimlessly around school and the cold biting at my skin.

What a nice present for Christmas, right?

I won’t give up, though, because all the efforts I made would be put to waste.

Alex and Max—I’d left them in the air.

They opened up to me, but I didn’t open up to them.

Pathetic.

“So this is where you were,” a voice said behind me.

I turned to look at Alex, “Hey.”

He sighed, “You have a habit of making people worry, huh?”

I looked down. My heart still sped everytime I was with him, reminding me painfully of how much I did love him.

“I’m sorry,” my voice came out broken.

Alex’s footsteps came closer, until he was right in front of me and leveling his eyes with mine.

“So what’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I averted my eyes.

“Liar.”

I balled my fists and attempted to glare at him, but the look in his eyes made me stop. His blue eyes were liquid and worried, and his cheeks were flushed.

“Why won’t you tell me?” he continued.

His voice was so gentle that it pained me—because it made me want to wrap my arms around him and tell him that I felt the same way for him.

It'll just make everything harder for the both of us.

He suddenly smiled. “Okay fine. Let’s go somewhere else.”

I raised a brow. “Where?”

Alex grabbed my hand, stopping time for a second. “You’ll see.”

~

The wind blew against my face as we rode his motorcycle.

The last time I was riding this with him was during Chase’s party. That was where my feelings for him started to arouse.

Now we were speeding our way to who knows where.

“Where are we going exactly?” I asked.

“Patience is a virtue,” he chuckled.

I decided to drop it, and without thinking I rested my head against his back.

“H-Hey.”

I raised my head, “Sorry.”

“No…it’s just that you suddenly—”

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump.

“—what I’m trying to say is…ah whatever. You can lean on me!”

“Geez, you didn’t have to shout that last part,” I laughed, still feeling nervous.

Slowly, I leaned towards him, and closed my eyes.

~

“Here we are!” he exclaimed

I removed my headgear, and saw a wide open field of snowy plants and trees and grasses.

“What is this place?”

Alex linked his hand with mine and started to lead me forward. “I found this place while I was testing the motorcycle out. It’s a secret place where city lights can’t reach the sky.”

He gestured me to look up and I did.

“Stars,” my eyes widened.

I didn’t expect to see them in the city, since they could only be seen when lights don’t reach the sky—like in the provinces, for example.

Alex pulled me down to sit on the ground he’d covered with his thick jacket.

“It’s beautiful,” I said shortly, still amazed at the view.

“Yeah.”

I glanced at him and smiled, “Thank you.”

It’s now or never, Dakota. Tell him now.

“Alex,” I began. “I have to tell you something.”

“It’s okay if you can’t. You don’t have to force yourself; I understand,” he said. “Just remember that I’ll always be here for you—no matter what happens, I’ll be by your side.”

~

She finally told him the truth.

Dakota de Torres was her real name before she was left by her mother—who was Chase’s step-mom—in an orphanage in her hometown.

She was seven when she left, and a year later, her foster parents, Kaithlyn and Samuel Roth, adopted her. She decided to track her biological mother down with their help, and found out that her mom worked as a college professor in Fortsworth.

That was why she went there.

“That’s it,” she said shortly. “Too bad she denied that she knew me when I met her this morning. She must’ve flipped or something.”

Alex looked up before he spoke, “What do you plan to do now?”

“I’m going to confront her and fix things up.”

~

At least the burden on my shoulders lightened a little, now that he understood.

But it’s too early to feel relief.

“Why did you reject me, then?” he questioned. “If it’s because of this problem—“

I pulled him closer to me by the collar and our lips met assertively, hoping that this would be enough to convey what I really felt about him.

As soon as I pulled away, warm tears rushed out of my eyes and every part of me was filled with sadness and pain.

“Alex, I’m leaving Fortsworth soon.”