Finding Heaven

It was the 10th of December now. School festival begins on 13th and ends on the 15th, exams start on the 17th, and Christmas break is officially marked on the 20th. To sum it all up, I’ve got a hectic schedule ahead of me.

I opened my mail during our Computer class while Mr. Stevenson, our stick-figured teacher, went downstairs when the announcement system called for him.

To: kaithlynroth@yahoo.com
Cc: dktforthsworth09@yahoo.com
Subject: Sorry.

Mom, Dad,

I’m sorry I won’t be able to come home for Christmas. And I’m sorry I haven’t messaged you for a long time. Please tell Joshua I’m sorry too.

I’ve been pretty busy with school work here. I haven’t been able to open my mail. I’ve read your messages too, and no Mom, I am obviously not dead.

Don’t worry about me. I’m doing well. My grades are pretty good, I assure you. We can send messages every day once Christmas break begins. I really wish that I could spend the holidays with you guys.

My relationship with Alex and Max is pretty good too. We’ve gotten closer recently. If Uncle Robert drops by, tell him that he should come visit his sons. He’s still a father; please remind him of that. His sons need him the most.

I love you Mom and Dad.

~

“I’m going to my grandparents’ place in Memphis, Tennessee for the holidays. How about you?” Emily asked me as we sauntered down the corridor.

I sighed. “Dorm.” Where else? “I’ll probably have to find a part-time job soon.”

“Bummer.”

“I know.”

Like I said before, I have always, always spent my Christmas with my family back in Southern Ontario. Now I was going to spend it boringly in my dorm room.

I wonder where Alex and Max are going to spend theirs? Maybe I should celebrate it with them instead…

“Dakota!” Chase shouted from behind. I looked over my shoulder and flashed him a grin.

“Hey, Em, can I borrow her for a sec?”

“Knock yourself out.” Emily shrugged, then she murmured only for me to hear, "Literally."

In case you haven’t noticed, Emily is against Chase. I dunno why exactly.

~

Chase and I went to take a seat in the lobby.

“So, what is this about?” I began.

“I was wondering if you could come to a party at my house tomorrow night. An advance Christmas party, actually.”

“Well, I’ve got my hands full for this week—“

“Please, Dakota? I’ll be taking a leave from school earlier. My dad wants me to go home to meet my baby stepbrother.”

I thought about it for a moment before I agreed. His eyes lit up when I nodded.

“Honestly, I want to spend it alone with you.” He chuckled nervously. “But I guess it would have made us feel awkward...”

“It’s okay. I bet you’d want to hang out with your friends too.” I reassured him.

He interlocked his fingers with mine and whispered, “Thank you.”

~

The next day, my homeroom class finally agreed to do a café for the school festival. The festival had been a tradition at Fortsworth for 28 years. It was in honor of the founder, Adrian Forth, and was also an advanced celebration of Christmas.

Going back to the original topic.

Basically, all we had to do was satisfy customers from other classes. The person who gets assigned the most gets additional pay—kaching!—so I eventually agreed to it, despite the fact that I didn’t want to wear a weird costume.

I noticed the way my classmates’ eyes sparked with excitement. I sighed.

They’re really enjoying this thing.

Since I was a girl who grew up on the countryside, this sort of “activity” didn’t appeal to me. Sure, my previous school had festivals, but we didn’t do cafés and a bunch of other pointless stuff.

I heard that Alex’s class was doing wall-climbing, rappelling, and bungee-jumping. I bet it was his idea, since he was into extreme sports.

“…that your costume is entirely up to you,” The class representative was saying. “Any questions? None? Okay. I’ll also remind you that the money you get from this depends on how much we’ve earned. Income will be divided among us evenly, so do your best.”

Sometimes, I wish I had a controller that could fast forward time.

~

It was during our lunch break when Emily decided to go for a Lolita costume.

“You should go for a cowgirl costume.” Emily suggested. “Or maybe you should do an anime Cosplay?”

“I think I’ll go with the cowgirl—” I beamed, then bit a piece off my sandwich. “—so that I wouldn’t be spending too much money for this. I have plaid tops and buckled shorts back at my place. I also have a pair of boots.”

“You’ll look so fantastic, I bet.”

She offered me her potato chips.

“Naw,” I said shortly after munching some down. “I’ll look so much like the usual that you wouldn’t even think I was even wearing a damn costume.”

“Who’s wearing a damn costume?” Alex asked, suddenly appearing beside us.

“Alex!” Emily exclaimed cheerfully. Alex smiled at her before he turned to me.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump—stop that. Seriously. My heart needs to get a life.

“So, what's up?” Alex asked again.

“Our class is doing a café, and we’re required to wear themed costumes. Oh, joy.” I said sarcastically as I averted my eyes.

“Cool,” He said. “We’re doing fun things.”

"I can’t believe throwing yourself out of a building and bouncing up and down while your body’s connected to an elastic cord is considered fun." I sighed.

Alex ignored my comment and directed a question to Emily. "What are you going to wear?"

“A-Ah!” She stuttered nervously.

Emily’s always acted weird in front of Alex… Could it be that she’s…

“I’m d-doing Lolita.” She continued. “Dakota’s doing a cowgirl.”

“Dakota, that’s no fun! You’ll just look like you’re wearing casual clothing.”

“Shut up,” I spat. “What would you rather have me wear then?”

I shouldn't have asked that. Wrong move there, stupid.

He smirked, then he pulled my right ear closer to his lips. My cheeks grew warm as he did this. Emily stiffened beside me.

“A playboy bunny.” He whispered seductively.

Ha ha. Very funny.

I shoved him away and scoffed, “Why don’t you?”

“I’ll be looking forward to your costumes.” Alex grinned, and as much as I hate to admit it, his smile was enough to make any girl’s heart melt, even mine.“See ya, Emily.”

I'm not immune anymore, Alex—

SO PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE THAT!!

He laughed after he’d waved goodbye and left.

Man, I thought. He is definitely not good for the heart.

~

I plopped down onto my bed as soon as I’d gotten home. Today had been really tiresome and stressful.

I glanced at the digital clock. It was 6:00 p.m, and I still had a party to attend to at eight. I closed my eyes for a few moments when suddenly there was a knock on my balcony door.

It was Alex.

I shuffled lazily towards the glass frame and opened it. “What’s up?”

He made a calling gesture for me to come out from the room and join him outside. He leaned against the railing, with his head tilted upwards. I followed after him, still in my green pajamas and all.

“You goin’ to Chase’s party tonight?” Alex asked shortly.

“Yeah. Aren’t you?”

“I declined his offer.” He laughed.

“Oh.”

He turned towards me now. His eyes shined like stars under the moonlight, and I wondered what they were seeing, “You’re not my personal slave anymore and you don’t have to do my selfish requests…” He said. “…but I hope you’ll stay out of trouble. That’s all I ask.”

I felt nervous all of a sudden. I couldn’t even look at him straight. My heart was pounding against my chest hysterically, and my stomach churned. “I’ll do that.”

He smiled. “I won’t always be your repellant.”

What did he mean by repellant?

Then he added, as if he had read my mind, “You attract trouble like blood attracts mosquitoes.”

I laughed, “Yeah. I seem to have attracted you, too.”

He looked at me in surprise.

“What I meant was—“ I amended. “I, um, always lead us both into trouble.”

He walked closer to me, and all of a sudden, the awkward scene from the day before replayed. I blocked the memory out of my head and ordered my heart to stop reacting so much.

HUSH. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, REMEMBER?

He started to bend forward.

Oh, holy crap. Not this again.

I was about to tell him to stop, but then he did something unexpected.

He—

He didn’t kiss me.

Instead, he blew on my face and grinned triumphantly. “Thought I was gonna kiss ya?”

My face turned red. “NO!”

“Liar. You wanted to kiss me!”

“SCREW YOU!”

He made a kissy-face with his mouth and bellowed a laugh.

I stormed back into my room sheepishly and slammed the glass door behind me.

Alex, you idiot.

Stop making me feel something I’m not supposed to feel.