Why Can't You See?

McKenzie walked to the hall closet and got her jacket and made sure her keys were in the pocket.
She left the house and got in her old car. 'I need music.' She thought as she plugged her ipod into the adapter. She chose some new Hey Monday. And drove as 'Hangover' blasted.
Carmen looked down at the razor in her hand.
"I deserve this." She said to herself. "Anyone who would do what I did does..."
She closed her eyes tight as she pulled the cold metal across her arm, again and again.
The fresh drops of blood joined the dried ones that had been on the floor from the day before.
She let the blade slip out of her hands when she felt like she had enough.
There was a knock at the front door and Carmen's eyes went wide.
'Who the hell could that be?!'
She rinsed her arm under the water and winced. She pat it dry and wrapped it with bandages. When she was done she pulled her sleeve down and went to the door.
Carmen opened it to see McKenzie shivering outside.
"We have some things we need to talk about Car." McKenzie said though chattering teeth.
'Well there goes' being intimidating' She thought.
Carmen opened the door wider and let McKenzie come in. She got the blanket from the couch and wrapped it around the older girl.
As McKenzie sat down Carmen locked the door again.
"Sorry bout the place being a mess..." Carmen began.
"I'm not here for small talk Car." McKenzie cut her off. "What's this I hear about you fucking Cristina?!"
Carmen looked down ashamed.
"So it's true." McKenzie said softly.
Carmen looked at her with tears in her eyes. "It was the biggest mistake of my life Kenzie. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat!"
McKenzie sighed. "Carmen how does a mistake like that happen?! Dylan is heartbroken!"
Carmen shook her head. "I don't know! All I know is that it meant nothing to me. I just wanted someone touch and she was there... It could have been anyone. Cristina stopped me from leaving with a stranger and took me home and.. I can't fully remember but.."
McKenzie leaned closer, "But what?"
"But.. I think I took advantage of her.."
"You didn't!"
Carmen started crying into her hands. "I didn't mean too! I thought she wanted to but looking back.. I remember her with tears in her eyes.."
McKenzie could not believe what she was hearing. "Carmen.. are you saying that you think you raped Cristina?"
Carmen looked up from her hands. "I just don't know what to think any more."
"Why would you do that? Why did you need someones touch that badly?"
Carmen wiped her the tears from her eyes. "Kenzie. I've been madly in love with someone for years now. And sometimes when I feel like I am finally getting close to them someone or something gets in the way. I can get so close to them but then I screw it up. So.. I fill the void by having meaningless one- night stands with strangers.."
McKenzie's jaw dropped. "Carmen.. That's not safe!"
Carmen laughed pathetically. "That's the last thing I worry about. I crave that person so badly..."
McKenzie shivered again but this time not from the cold.