That Boy Is A Monster

Eliza never thought she would be back. She never thought she would feel the same feelings of hopelessness and anger in her life again. She never wanted to come back. She wanted to stay away, far away, and never revisit the worst years of her life.

But Abriella Jackson had a way of making Eliza Richards do things she didn’t want to do. Even in death.

Hadley Evans held Eliza’s hand tightly, hoping to take away the pain and sadness reflected in her eyes. He hated to see her this way; so cold, like stone, falling apart on the inside while the outside reflected no emotion, making her look less human. He wanted her to show him something, he wanted her to show her weakness for once and let him take care of her.

He turned to face forward, squeezing her hand slightly as his eyes landed on the two coffins before him. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Abriella’s distraught parents. They stared at their daughter’s coffin, tears pouring as they questioned everything they ever believed.

How could their beautiful and talented daughter just cease to exist? Like she never made an impact on this world? Mrs. Jackson couldn’t handle seeing her daughter’s coffin. She buried her face in her husband’s shoulder, refusing to do anything but cry.

Mr. Jackson wrapped one arm around his wife’s shoulder; the other rested in his lap stiffly. He used every ounce of self control he possessed as Charlie’s parents sat three seats from him. He wanted to scream at them, blame them for raising a son that would ultimately kill his little girl…his only child.

Mr. Jackson turned slightly, catching Eliza’s profile. His lips set into a hard line. How could she leave his little girl with nothing? Without a number, without an email, without a hope in this world. Eliza knew what went on between Abriella and Charlie, more than Mr. or Mrs. Jackson would ever know, but he knew that she could help his little girl. He knew she could have saved his little girl.

But he knew he had to forgive her. He knew Eliza did everything she could to help his little girl. He only wished that her words of wisdom had registered on his daughter before tragedy ripped them apart.

“Eliza?” Hadley whispered, squeezing her hand.

She blinked, shaking her head slightly as she looked into his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry about…we both know that none of this is your fault,” he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.

Logically, Eliza knew Hadley was right; yet she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She felt so helpless, believing that she could have stayed. If she stayed, Abriella would still be alive.

Hadley knew she thought this as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. He felt her shoulders shake under his strong grip, feeling her tears begin to soak the front of his black dress shirt.

Eliza didn’t know what to do anymore. She knew she couldn’t harbor her feelings of regret and sorrow. She knew she had to let it go and let reason take over. She had to look at this from an outside view: but she couldn’t. She wore her heart on her sleeve, a weakness she wore with pride.

Her emotions were a mess. Jumbled and confused as her heart and mind waged war. She wanted to take Abriella’s place, sleep endlessly as life untangled itself without her presence. She hated herself for thinking that way. She hated the thought of leaving Hadley.

“Do you want to go outside?” He whispered gently, rubbing her back.

Eliza nodded, allowing him to pull her to her feet. He led her out of the church and around the corner. He wanted to ease her burdens in any way.

“I can’t believe she would do that,” Eliza shook her head slightly, twisting her hands in her lap.

Hadley leaned towards her slightly, he never knew what happened. He only knew that Eliza was in pain and her past had come to bite her in the ass.

“Do what?” He prodded gently.

Eliza chewed on her bottom lip, tasting the copper of her blood soon after.

“She never drank Hadley,” Eliza turned to him, “she swore it off after seeing what it did to her parent’s relationship. She knew that Charlie was his worst when drunk…she knew but she still did it,”

Hadley rubbed Eliza’s back as his brain processed the new information.

“Were they in an accident?” He questioned aloud.

Eliza shook her head as her trembling hands pulled a crinkled piece of paper from her purse. She handed it to Hadley, bringing her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them, letting more tears fall.

Hadley opened the letter, adjusting the black framed glasses on his face in order to read better.

Dear Eliza,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never listened to you. I should have.

A long time ago. I should have listened to you and left him…like you left me. I should have turned my back on him and ignored him until I didn’t remember anything. I should have lived my life, I should have.

But it’s too late for that now. I’m sorry I put you though all of this. I’m sorry that you had to suffer through everything with me. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good person to you…I’m sorry that I have so many things to be sorry for.

I shouldn’t. It’s because of him and I should have listened to everyone when they told me in the beginning. But…you understand right?

I was in love. I had found someone who made me feel special every second of every day. I had found someone that filled the empty hole inside of me. It reminds me of that book you told me about a long time ago. It had some kind of quote that fit my feelings perfectly. I know you know what I’m talking about.

Something about how love is about finding your other half? I don’t remember but I know how true that statement is.

I didn’t want to believe you guys because I was blinded by love. But I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.

Eliza…I love you. And I’m sorry for anything that happens. I’m sorry for not realizing how beautiful your soul is sooner.

I wish you the best and I hope that someday you can forgive me. I’m sorry for doing this to you and everyone else but…I don’t know what else to do.

I can’t just start over.

Tonight I will close my eyes to this world and rejoin my true soul in the skies. This isn’t a goodbye. It’s simply a see you later.

Love,

Abriella Justine Jackson.

Hadley reread the letter several times before looking up. Eliza snuggled into his side, craving his warmth as the wind began to blow.

“She went out drinking with him and tried to drive home…they just didn’t make it,” she answered his thoughts.

He flinched slightly, tightening his arms around her. He pressed his lips to her forehead with a sigh.

“I feel so guilty,” Eliza whispered, tracing an invisible pattern on Hadley’s shirt.

“Liza,”

“No…I mean…she never got to have what…what we do Hadley. She fought so hard to be with him…she just…didn’t find what she searched so hard for,” Eliza wiped away a few more tears.

They were silent, letting their thoughts mull around. Cars passed, people walked by; life continued for the rest of the world. But for the couple on the bench around the corner from a church, the world stopped.

Everything moved in slow motion with each passing second. Eliza had found her other half in Hadley. She was experiencing everything Abriella wanted in life. Immense guilt weighed on her shoulders, even if she knew she had nothing to be guilty of.

Abriella Jackson looked down from heaven, smiling brightly as she watched Eliza and Hadley down on earth. She smiled knowing that Eliza would be fine and happy. She smiled knowing that Hadley was the cause of Eliza’s happiness. She smiled knowing that love existed in the world she left behind, whether she had found it or not. She smiled knowing that when she turned, she would see him.

“Come on,” Charlie beckoned, reaching for Abriella’s hand.

“Just one more second,” she grinned, peering down again.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Charlie taunted her lightly as he stood next to her.

Abriella turned to him, beaming as his shoulder brushed against hers. She finally saw everything in him that made her stay. She saw his heart, his bare soul. She and he were intertwined, forever together no matter what. She had everything she ever wanted in her afterlife.

Maybe she was angry that she had to wait for so long. Maybe she was a little jealous to know that Eliza found love on earth.

But Abriella couldn’t hold anything against anyone, not even herself. In some unique way, she was able to hold on to the thing she wanted most, even when everyone went against her. She smiled towards Charlie, slipping her hand into his with a blissful sigh. She blew a kiss to Eliza and Hadley, turning her back to them. She followed Charlie, her smile permanent as he kissed her cheek softly.

This was the Charlie she always wanted. He left his demons behind, allowing the side of him that always wanted to shine, the ability to do so. Abriella’s heart swelled with joy as she followed him into their new life.

Eliza looked up towards the sky, smiling as she felt Abriella’s presence. Hadley pulled Eliza closer, enjoying her smile more than he would ever tell. They sat on the bench, holding each other, as the sun slipped below the horizon.

Even with the pain, even with the helpless feelings; Eliza knew everything would be ok. She found peace within herself and inadvertently helped Abriella come to her own peace. Eliza sighed blissfully, squeezing Hadley’s hand.

“You’ll be ok?” He wondered.

She turned to face him with a ghost of a smile on her lips and in her eyes, “We’ll be ok.”