Uncompatible Love

Ch. 39: Imbalance In Emotions

*Jacob’s POV*

I got home, my conversation with Sam still ringing in my ears as we yelled at one another. I have no idea what had gotten into me. I went against his orders and the weirdest thing was…..it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It came naturally to, I’m not sure what the word I’d use would be here…disobey? I don’t know, but I spoke my mind and told him off even when he had made it clear in his voice that that should have been the end of our conversation. I had thought otherwise and kept it going, which obviously shocked everyone from all the gasps that had gone around. My thoughts were cut off when a scent invaded my senses. It was salt water, no, not just saltwater. Violet was crying. I could hear quiet whimpers and I could hear a bed creaking on the second floor.

-”I knew this was stupid. I should have just….god. Why am I always the screw up? I never asked for this…” her voice trailed off and I heard her sobs increase just slightly. I felt water collecting in my eyes. I closed them tightly, willing them to go away, but a few lone tears slid down my cheeks and rolled down my chin. She was hurting and I just stood there watching. How could I? After going on considering asking her to marry me just this week?

I went up the stairs as quietly as I could, hoping she wouldn’t hear me as I approached her. The door to the room was cracked open just a bit and I could see her small quivering body, her golden bronze hair making a tent around her face. She was sitting on the bed, her back against the wall, her knees lifted up towards her chest as she hugged them close to her body. She was shaking lightly as she quietly sobbed, sniffling every so often. I made my way to her, sitting on the edge of the bed, close to her. She jumped a bit, but instead of raising her face, she simply tightened her hold on her legs and curled herself into a ball even more. She kept mumbling something repeatedly, but I couldn’t hear her.

-”I can’t hear you, Vie.” I told her, putting my hand behind her back, which was hard considering the wall was there. I tried to bring her towards my chest, but she was holding her ground, releasing her knees to grip onto the bed spread.

-”Go away!” she shouted, her fingers trembling, her voice quivering. I swallowed back, feeling tears of my own collect in my eyes. My voice quivered as I tried to speak, my throat dry.

-”Y-you don’t….you don’t mean that. Come on.” I kissed the top of her head. I tried to bring her face up again. “Look…I’m sorry….I shouldn’t have acted so protective or jealous and…I really shouldn’t have let Sam treat you like that….” I was expecting her to reject me again, but was shocked when I felt the tears on my chest now, her arms wrapped around my stomach. I felt my heart break at her crumbled up self. I hated myself for doing this to her.

-”Is it really such a smart idea that I’m with you? I mean….your Alpha doesn’t trust me Jake! I don’t….I can’t have two separate identities! I just….I can’t do this anymore!” she pushed away from me, getting up, her back to me. I looked down.

-”What are you talking about, Violet? Of course it’s a smart idea! Violet, I love you! You’re my imprint! How many times do I have to say that?” I hold onto her, turning her around, but again, I can’t see her face. I try to get her to get her to look at me, her head is bent and her hands are still covering her face. “Violet?” my voice trembles, I’m so close to loosing my composure.

-”So…it doesn’t matter that my family is a coven of vampires?” she asks bitterly, she’s looking at me now, but I almost wish she wasn’t. She’s glaring at me, her face red from crying, her eyes puffy too, her face tear stained. I had never seen her look at me so, so hurt, and angry, and above all…broken. “It doesn’t matter that I’m some…freak of nature, Jacob? Because I didn’t ask for this!” I looked down, thinking she meant me. “I didn’t ask to be this! I…if I had a say in anything that happens in my life…let me tell you I would wish to be normal Jacob!” I had enough. She felt so badly about herself. It wasn’t her hating me, it was her hating herself. I grabbed her and pulled her tightly to me, holding her as close to my chest as physically possible.

-”There is nothing wrong with you. I love you just the way you are. I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise and I promise never to let anyone make you feel this way again. I talked to Sam…and he’s promised to lay off. Sam’s just as protective of Emily as I am of you, that’s all.” I picked up her chin to look at me, but instead she just buried her head into my chest, her hands trying desperately to clutch onto something, but when she realized I had no shirt on, she settled for clenching her fists as they laid against my chest as well.

-”You promise?” I heard her whisper, her voice barely there.

-”Of course I do.” I told her, smoothing out the back of her shirt, before rubbing her back.

-”Jacob…so you promise to love me? Just the way I am?” she asked me, this time her beautiful sea foam eyes staring into my brown ones. I was suddenly in a trans. “Swear Jacob. Swear to me that you love me…just as I am.” I nodded, bringing her to me again.

-”I promise Violet. No matter what..you’ll always be the only one for me.” I heard her sigh happily and her breathing got back to normal for just a second before her heart rate picked up again. I heard her take ina deep breath before opening her mouth.

-”Jacob the truth is I’m a-”

-”Jacob! We have to go! There’s another bloodsucker on the loose!” I tensed, so did she. I nodded to Jared who looked sadly between me and Violet. “I’m sorry if this is a bad time, Violet, but he’s got to come, Sam’s orders.” she nodded, stiffly.

-”Just… be safe okay?” I nodded and was about to leave before she called me, Jared already going on ahead. “Jacob!” I stopped and she ran to me, I scooped her in my arms, a bit alarmed, but relaxed when she just kissed my lips. “Okay…y-you can go now.” I rubbed her cheek with my thumb, her skin like porcelain, it was so smooth. I kissed the exposed skin between her neck and shoulder.

-”I’ll be back and…if I’m forgiven…you can tell me more okay?” she nodded, but looked away, wrapping her hands around her torso. I wanted to stay, but left. Damn, these guys sure know when to fucking pop up!

*Violet’s POV*

Why is it that every time I feel like I can breathe, I feel like I can tell him the truth, something has to happen to compromise that? Why can’t I just tell him? I have to tell him. ‘When he gets back I’ll tell him.’ I tell myself. I go towards the bed, drawing back the bed spread and blankets before crawling into bed. I’m just staring out the window, looking, waiting. I nearly fall asleep, I’m so tired. Tired of crying, tired of feeling sad. Tired of feeling out of place. My thoughts wandered before my eyelids closed, and I fell asleep…

Warmth. I needed warmth. I was so cold, I guess I had been in Hawaii much too long and got used to their climate. Yet, still, I remember it being warmer even here In La Push, what with Jacob’s body heat and all. I let my hand roam the bed, but it’s just empty. The sheets are cold, there is no impression that anyone even slept here besides myself. I got up, shivering a bit from the cold. I needed a blanket, or a sweater at the very least. I got up towards my closet, but stopped when I heard something.

I looked around my room, but spotted nothing out of the usual. I turned around, ready to go back to the closet when shivers went up my spine. Ever had that feeling that you were being watched? The weird sensation that someone else’s eyes are on you? I just got that. I could feel someone’s penetrating stare on my back. I was hesitant at first, but then quickly spun around, looking to find someone. I called out to Billy, but got no reply. I ran downstairs, afraid of what was going on. There was a note on the living room table. It was from Billy, Charlie and him had gone out to the Diner. I calmed down a bit, feeling a bit relieved. Yet, that warm feeling of relief shattered when I heard the tapping again, when I felt other eyes on me again. I made my way to the window in the kitchen. I swallowed back the fear and got closer.

-”Boo!” My face paled as I stared at the smirking man in front of me. His eyes, wild and crazed with hunger. He laughed, extending his hand to grab me. My breathing came in gasps and I shut my eyes, holding my head. ‘Just…push him back Vie….come on.’ I told myself, but I couldn’t. I still saw him with those light golden eyes and innocent smile. I felt him grab for my wrist, and squeeze. “I told you I’d come back.” I heard his laughter echoing in my head. ‘Please let this be a bad dream. Please!’ I felt his icy grip on my arm, but he pulled back suddenly when a howl rang across the yard. I heard Theodore hiss before running off. I looked out the window as Theodore just bulldozed over them with his telekinetic blasts. I saw them get up and run after them. One wolf in particular turned back to the house to look at me before growling and running after him.

-”Jacob, no!” I quickly ran out the back door. I wasn’t sure why I shouted to him. Was it because I didn’t want him to get hurt, or because I was afraid they’d kill Theodore? I ran, but fell. Why was I suddenly such a tremendous klutz? I stood up, pounding my fist onto the ground in agitation. I ran now, feeling my eyes go into the amber color again, but tried to stop it and ran after them. I was running as fast as I could, calling to them. “Jake! Jacob!” I tried to catch their scents, but all I acme back with was the smell of saltwater. My tears running down my face. “Jacob!”

-’Okay..okay, Violette. Stay calm, breathe.’ I told myself, taking deep breaths. I concentrated, and looked around. East. They were heading east. I turned to the right and ran as fast as my legs could carry me with the current state of panic I was in.

-”Violette!” I felt someone holding me back now, arms gripping onto my shoulders. I started to kick and move wildly in their arms. “Violette!” it was Edward’s voice.

-”Let go Edward! Jacob! Jacob Jac-” he placed his hand over my mouth, silencing my calls.

-”Quiet! He’s after you! Not them! Now calm down, if he finds you that’s it!” I still looked around, eyes filled with panic, almost hysteric. “He’ll get away.” he spoke calmly. I looked at him, confused. “Theodore, don’t worry he gets away. Alice said he’ll jump into the ocean and head back to the Volturi.” My breathing slowed a bit. “Go.Home.Violette.” Edward looked angrily at me. “And don’t even think about telling them.” so he knew. I looked away. “Just because Jacob may be fine with it, because we aren’t entirely sure he’ll be okay with having a hybrid in his pack Violet, doesn’t mean the others will.” ‘Sam’ I thought, Edward just nodded. “Exactly.” we were silent after a while. “Now go back. Bella will be picking you up later.” he spoke, breaking the silence. He gave me a hug, kissing the top of my head. “Don’t think so much with your heart…it might be the last thing you do…now go. They should be heading back after a bit. I looked sadly at him, nodding before going back, the scene all a blur of green as I ran past the trees.

I went to my room, that was the first thing I did. Going upstairs and grabbing one of Jacob’s thick sweaters. I felt so cold, I was shivering uncontrollably. What was wrong with me? He’s after me, so why couldn’t I have just attacked him? The past is the past and it should stay there. I shouldn’t let him control me like that. What’s my excuse this time? He brought no one with me to make me behave that way? I should be happy if the pack wants to get rid of him. One less problem to worry about, and one less Volturi. I placed my hands on my head, squeezing it, hoping to get rid of the throbbing ache in my head.

-”Violet!” I heard Jacob’s frantic calls as many footsteps rushed up the stairs. He looked at me, running to the bed and scooping me in his hands, holding tightly as I sobbed into his chest. “Aw shit! Violet, come on look at me, come on, let go of your head, your going to hurt yourself.” He was trying to pry my hands away from my skull, but the pain was still there. Theodore’s laugh, his wild animal looks, and then I’d see the Theodore I fell in love with long ago. The Theo, who managed to make me feel like a human for the first time. My Teddy. I shook my head and cried more, finally letting Jacob move my hands away from my skull.

-”Is she okay, Jacob?” I could hear someone’s worried voice, but who’s it was I wasn’t sure.

-”Yeah…She’s just scared. Come on baby, your okay.” He brought me to his chest.

-”Violet…did he hurt you?” I saw Sam crouched down in front of me, waiting patiently. I shook my head ‘no’ and he sighed. “Good. Well…he’s gone anyways, who ever he was.” I saw him look at Jacob. Sam was restraining himself, but why? “Alright then. I think you’ll be fine now with Jacob here. Come on, let’s go.” He spoke to the guys who looked at me sadly. They waited a bit, giving both Jacob and I apologetic looks before leaving with Sam.

We stayed like that, Jacob brushing my hair with his palm, occasionally rubbing my back, as I held onto him. I enjoyed the silence and comfort as I tried to collect and calm my thoughts. Had Theodore always been like this? SO malicious and predator like? Had he? I tried to remember, wracked my brain for all my memories of him. He had been the perfect gentlemen. He just…suddenly changed…and drastically. It was almost like I had become an obsession for him.

Eventually I managed to calm down enough to get up and allow both Jacob and I to stretch our stiff limbs. He was always right behind me though. I went downstairs to make us something to eat, my eyes on the clock, watching the numbers change. It wasn’t even the afternoon yet and we were already having such an off day. I made us something quick and ate silently. Once we were both done I turned to Jacob when I was at the living room entrance.

-”Are you okay?” I asked him. He looked at me confused, like it was a stupid question.

-”Yeah…are you?” I nodded and let him pull me down towards the sofa as he laid me down on top of him. His feet hung off the opposite end of the sofa that his head had laid on. “I never thought you’d react that way. I mean considering you attacked the newborns and all and happen to live with vampires. Why…had you acted like that? Couldn’t you have just….ran or something?” I shrugged my shoulders, quiet for a while as Jacob drew random shapes on my arm.

-”I….I know him.” He stopped suddenly, his shoulders tense. “Or…I used to know him….” he was quiet, waiting for me to keep going. “He…Carlisle found him and…..he became apart of the family….he had already been a vampire, but….he was tired of feeling like a monster and drifting alone…..so…we took him in and gave him a family….he was my friend…” I curled up to him, my knees curled up to my body.

-”Is there more?” I heard him gulp slightly. I nodded, now I was the one drawing imaginary squiggles on his torso with my finger.

-”He….he left one day and….I thought never saw him again…all of us did….until he came back with a friend. I had thought he was here to stay again and I was….actually happy, but….he attacked us. The others managed to get his friend, but…Theodore got away.” I heard Jacob mumble his name silently, but saw his hand curl, the one that laid dangling over the couch’s side, the one at my back had too. “We…saw him again….the day of the fight. He was with the Volturi.”

-”That stupid league of Vamps?” I nodded.

*Jacob’s POV*

I kept staring at the ceiling, not really concentrating at anything, just thinking. Her story……it still didn’t explain why she couldn’t have just fought him like she had those newborns, or why she didn’t just run from him. Then again, what was that about her being happy when he came back? I got a strange pit in my stomach to when she mentioned his name. I opened my mouth, wanting to ask her something, but I was afraid to confirm my suspicion.

-”Where you two….ever more than friends?” I finally managed to say it and I could feel my heart rate pick up a bit.

-”Yes.” she answered after a few moments of silence, her voice small, gentle. I swallowed back the anger, and hatred I suddenly felt for that guy.

-”Did you…love him?” She didn’t answer and I sat up straight, lifting her up and placing her on the other cushion. “Violet?” she nodded, her eyes closed as a few tears leaked out of them. I sighed, my face in my palms. “Do you…still…love him?” I was scared of her answer. She wrapped her hands around herself and looked away from me. I guess that answers that. I got up, ready to leave. I needed a run.

-”Jacob?” I stopped, I was taking deep breaths, trying not to break down, but it was hard. My imprint was in love with a leech. This was the Bella incident all over again.

-”What?” I noticed my voice crack.

-”I’m not sure…” I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t.

-”About what?” I asked, my voice coarse.

-”If I still, you know, love him.” I scoffed. “It’s true!” I felt her hold onto my arm. I pulled away starting to walk out. “But why should that matter?!” she shouted to me, I stopped and turned to her, shocked. I looked at her, like if it wasn’t already obvious. I started walking towards her.

-”Why should that matter?” I repeated her question, towering over her now. “I don’t like having to share my girlfriend, that’s why it matters!” I looked at her, already feeling some tears rolling down my cheeks.

-”That’s not what I meant Jacob!” she shouted, hiccupping as she cried. “It doesn’t matter to me because...I know I love you more! I’m not even sure if what I feel for Theodore is love!” she through her hands into the air. “All I know is that…I can’t just forget the past and he was apart of it, Jacob! It…just shocked me….” I looked at her after a while. Would she leave me? Would that dam leech be the reason why I couldn’t have her…just like Bella?

-”I-” I couldn’t even ask her, but she turned to me and hugged me.

-”There’s absolutely no one on this earth whom I can love more than I love you Jake….and like I’ve said before it kills me to know you don’t see that.” she looked up at me, her eyes were filled with love, towards me above all. I picked her up right then and there, kissing her lips. She wrapped her feet around my torso, getting the hint from that kiss. The desire, hurt, want, pain, lust, anguish and above all love in that kiss made it clear. I tried to maneuver around the house without breaking our heated make out session, but kept accidentally bumping into a wall or lamp or even the table. I made it up the stairs without falling and once I thought I was near my room I tried to go through, but ended up slamming Vie into the wall hard. She let out a gasp and tugged at my hair.

-”That hurt, jerk.” she laughed it off, I did too and we picked up where we left off before hitting the wall. I closed the door behind me and we forgot about the world around us all together, too consumed in our passion.

*Bella’s POV*

I got out of my car, I missed my truck. Was this car that Edward got me really necessary? I mean my old truck worked just fine thank you! Besides it was a gift form my best friend. On top of that the only reason he got me this car was because it was suppose to be able to withstand a lot, but come on. The real threats out there lately for me were vampires, and I doubt this damn car couldn’t compare to the strength of one. I felt uncomfortable in the car, I mean so many people kept on staring at me, giving me strange looks. Occasional people asking me questions about it, or making strange remarks towards my new car.

I sighed, walking up to the porch. I knocked on the door, but got no answer, instead the door opened just the slightest. It hadn’t been properly closed. I walked in, hearing thumping up the second floor. I heard Jacob’s voice curse and then a shrill ‘what’, followed by a chorus of swear words. I walked up the stairs, to see where they were at.

-”Guys?! Violet?! Jacob?!” I called to them.

-”ugh…j-just a second Bella!” I heard Violette shout, the sound coming from behind Jacob’s door. “Shit! Owe! Jacob, hand me my bra! Come on! She’s waiting.” I heard her try to shout at him, quietly, as strange as that sounds. Next thing I know, Jacob’s sighing loudly and irritably and the door knob is turning.

-”What’s the point, she already did, she’s right here.” the door swung open, and Jacob’s only in some boxers. I blushed, and he looks down, clearing his throat before going behind it the door for cover. “Um…give us a sec will you Bells?” I just turned away, too embarrassed or shocked to say anything. Eventually they both came down, Violet’s face beat red. I looked away from the both of them, my face probably pink.

-”Are you…ready to g-go?” I asked, stuttering and stumbling over my words.

-”ugh…Bella?” I looked at her. “Do you..mind not telling Edward about…you know?” Jacob looked off behind me, smirking, while Violet turned even redder if possible, now cherry red.

-”Y-yeah. I t-think it’s b-better…. he doesn’t know…” I don’t want to be the one to tell him that his baby sister is having sex with a werewolf, knowing he’s a vampire. Although I did find it a bit unfair that not only could they work around their differences, but I couldn’t, but that they were younger than the both of us! Aside from that, I knew Edward would be more than displeased with this new revelation.

-”Ok…um…bye...I‘ll be gone for a while. Wedding stuff.” Violet looked at Jacob then to me repeatedly, pecking his lips. She was embarrassed, but so was I. After some time of awkward silences we made it to the other side of the treaty line, where Alice was waiting.

-”Hi Violette!” Alice went to hug her younger sibling, only to pull back suddenly. “Oh boy! Wow…the stench is especially strong this time.” she tried to laugh, but plugged her nose with her fingers. She flushed a bit, her eyes changing suddenly, most likely trying to mask her red cheeks and the scent. “Whew! Much better, chere!” Alice smiled, although she was obviously still not breathing. With Alice behind the wheel, we made it to Seattle in no time at all. Violette saw my ring and told me more about it.

-”I’m sorry.” I told her.

-”For what Bella?” she said, looking at herself in her bridesmaid dress in the mirror.

-”I’m sure you would have wanted your mother’s ring. I told Edward, but…” She turned to me, walking over and down the few steps from the small stage like lift.

-”Don’t be silly, Bells. I don’t mind at all. I can’t possibly wear it. It’s meant for Edward to give away, not me hun. Besides even if I was given it, I don’t think Jacob’s big fingers would fit through that itty bitty whole, now do you?” she pointed at the ring, one eye closed and tongue sticking out. Times like this she really did look like a kid. You wouldn’t be able to tell that she was over a century old. Strange considering Jacob was the young one, but he looked much older than he was. I smiled at her. “So…do I get to get a sneak peak of you in your dress Bella?”

-”Oh, of course you do! She has to get it fitted.” Alice popped out behind the curtain, wearing her dress as well.

-”Again?” I whined. “Alice, I’ve done it so many times!”

-”Oh Bella, don’t pout! It’s not fitting for a bride to be. Besides, you never know! You can gain or loose pounds Bella, and this dress needs to fit you perfectly! Now come on!” I sighed, but felt bad for Violette once Alice turned to her. “And you Missy! We’ve had to delay quite a lot because of your absence.” she pointed at her before taking out her phone. “It’s close to the date and it’s time for the final preparations.” she grinned.

-”Oh boy.” I heard Violette say at the same time I did.

*Edward’s POV*

The others and myself were in the forest, contemplating what we would do. Would one of us follow Theodore into the blue depths of the ocean, would we contact the Volturi, go straight to Italy, or would we wait it out and hope to catch him soon? Either way we had to decide.

-”We should follow him!” Emmett shouted out, angered that he had beat us to the cliff.

-”That’s out of the question, Emmett.” Carlisle spoke.

-”He’s right Babe.” spoke Rosalie, holding onto his arm.

-”Why can’t we? Jasper said it himself! His powers are less likely to work underwater! The density or whatever!” I nodded to Emmett

-”That’s true, but….He’ll be expecting us to do just that. What if he makes it to the Volturi, he can always say he was followed or attacked, that leaves us vulnerable. He’s testing us, seeing how well protected Violette is. Most likely also how much power he has over her…” I trailed off, seeing my sister’s reactions in the woods. Everyone staid silent for a while.

-”So what are we suppose to do? From what I picked up before, it’s not love for him she’s feeling, it’s just her past attachment she’s had to him. Either way, she knew him, or at least she thought she did and that’s what holds her back from hurting him.” Jasper informed us, although he was addressing me. I nodded. Knowing her, that might be the case. Her emotions are always out of control, even when we were kids. She took everything beyond what she should, feeling more pain than needed, but also always feeling happier. She just couldn’t let go of her feelings for anybody, even when that somebody was aiming to hurt you or your family in this case.

-”I think we should wait for him to come to us. Violette needs to be the one to confront him.” I told them, they all nodded, skeptically, but they agreed except for Esme.

-”But Edward, dear, do you really think pinning those two against each other is right, Violette’s so fragile and unstable.” She spoke up.

-”No, Edward’s right. She needs to clear her mind, her emotions have always been unstable, but they were always out of tune when they involved him. They went through a lot, but I think deep down she knew he wasn’t for her. She needs to come see that for herself or she’ll never let it go.” Jasper took over, explaining to Esme. She was quiet after that, but it was obvious she understood once she nodded her head.

-”Besides, if she needs it, we’ll be right there to help her kill that bastard.” I looked out into the horizon, the ocean extending as far as even my eyesight could reach.