I've Hoped For Change, It Gets Better Everyday

Alex looked at his watch, noting that it’d been a while since he’d last seen Abby. In fact, it’d been too long. He voiced his concern to the others around the table and assembled a small search party. He scanned the club for that familiar head of blond hair; Lisa had gone to the bathroom to look for her; Rian and Kara had gone off to search the dance floor, in the off chance that Alex had missed her; and Zack decided to check outside, in case she’d needed some fresh air. The only ones who’d seemed indifferent were Jack and Linda, who were too busy making out to worry about Abby.

Alex cleared his throat in an attempt to get their attention. “Uh, Jack? Linda, aren’t you guys worried at all that we haven’t seen any sign of Abby in a little over half an hour?”

Jack sighed exasperatedly and turned to face his best friend and band mate. “Dude, I seriously couldn’t give a fuck about where she is. She’s being a drama queen. If she thinks that I’m going to drop everything and go looking for her like a maniac, then she’s insane. It’s not like she wants me around anyway.”

Linda didn’t say anything; she didn’t have to, there was a slight shimmer of worry in her eyes. But that went unnoticed by Jack, who pressed his lips to hers once more. She ignored the gut feeling she had and instead went back to her previous activity.

Alex was appalled. “Are you fucking kidding? You think she’s hiding to start up drama?”

Jack pulled away from Linda once again. “Yes, I do. She’s blowing everything out of proportion and this is just her way of getting attention.”

Alex scoffed, and stood up on his way to the bathroom to see if his girlfriend had had any luck. Lisa came out just as he was about to knock.

“Anything?” he asked.

Lisa shook her head in answer. Alex sighed and tried to think about the possible places she could be. Rian and Kara weaved in an out of the crowd, trying to get to the pair.

Alex frowned at them. “Have you guys seen her at all?”

“No, not even in the slightest,” Kara replied sadly. Rian rubbed her back to try to calm her down; her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. Zack approached the quartet moments later with the same look of disappointment. He simply shook his head before anyone could ask.

Little did they know that Abby was right there, behind the one door they hadn’t checked, living a nightmare.

~*~
I tried to push Darren off of me, and barely managed it only because he was too busy trying to get my underwear off. I was almost to the door when he grabbed me roughly. I screamed as loud as I could before Darren’s hand clamped over my mouth. I kicked and screamed as much as I could, hoping somebody would hear the commotion and come help me.

“Please, someone, anyone!” I yelled out. Suddenly, the door burst open and Zack, Rian, and Alex rushed in.

“Abby!” I heard all three of them yell as my adrenaline rush came to an end and I sank to the floor. I was so tired. I heard a lot of commotion behind me, but I was too worn out to look. Kara and Lisa were at my side in an instant, putting my clothes back on. I tried to thank them, but I couldn’t get my voice to work properly on account of the sobs that escaped my mouth. Both girls hugged me as the guys took care of Darren. I faintly realized that all the commotion should’ve attracted a much bigger audience, but then again the music was even louder than before; I was surprised anyone had hear me at all.

“You’re scum, and if I ever meet you again, I will kill you for what you just tried to do!” Rian was yelling at Darren, I assumed. I didn’t hear Zack or Alex say a word as they joined Lisa, Kara and I. But then again, I was ready to pass out.

“Here, let me get her. We need to leave,” Zack’s voice stated. I felt someone pick me up and cradle me in their arms. Nausea hit me with blunt force and I pressed a hand to my mouth.

“Zack?”

“What is it Abby?” Zack leaned in to hear me better since my voice was muffled.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I replied. I could feel my stomach tightening, signaling that I was about to empty its contents. Zack picked up his pace, and with the help of the girls, got me to the restroom just in time. I’d never been happier to see a toilet in my entire life.

The acid burned my throat and nose as I vomited into the porcelain bowl. The smell was awful and it caused me to gag, bringing up more stomach acid. It was a never ending cycle. I clutched the cool bowl, my skin clammy and hot. At this rate, I would never, ever, drink like this ever again; ever.

Once I’d finished puking my guts out, Lisa and Kara helped me clean up. I was still dizzy and my head hurt; it felt like someone was jack hammering my brain. I groaned at the lights, they were hurting my eyes. We met the boys outside the restroom after I’d finished.

“Are you okay?” Rian asked, studying my face. He looked so worried, and I couldn’t really understand why. Out of all the guys, Rian and I had the least in common and hardly really talked, but here he was taking the place that should’ve belonged to Jack. I looked for his face, but was disappointed to see that he wasn’t around.

“He’s back at the table,” Alex answered the question in my head. I looked at him briefly before nodding my head slowly, hoping it wouldn’t increase the pounding.

“Thank you, for saving me. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten out of that.” I hesitated. “Just, please don’t tell Jack? He doesn’t need to know.” I looked at my arms covered with scratches and faint bruises that were sure to show up even darker tomorrow.

They all promised to keep my incident between us. I was so ashamed of myself. Zack gave me a knowing look, and as if he could read my mind, he said quietly, “It’s not your fault, Abby.”

Oh but it was. I went looking for trouble and found it. I should’ve been smart and avoided strangers. That’s like Growing Up 101. But instead, I was so mad because of what had recently happened that I ignored everything my parents taught me. It was my fault. If my friends hadn’t been there and Darren had gone through with raping me, I would’ve deserved it.

Since I was such a kill joy, we somberly walked back to the table to get our things and leave. Jack and Linda were sucking face, how lovely. But I didn’t say or do anything; I just stood there next to Zack as he leaned in and grabbed my purse for me.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked, taking the time to disengage himself from my cousin.

“We’re leaving; we got to get Abby home,” Alex replied stiffly. It seemed that I’d put everyone in a sour mood.

Jack frowned and rolled his eyes. “Oh of course, whatever the princess wants, right?”

I looked down at my shoes, and tried not to cry. The trauma from almost being raped and Jack’s obvious apathy were starting to break me down. I had to remind myself that this was what I’d asked for and therefore deserved.

“Shut up, Jack. Either get up and let’s go, or find your own ride,” Alex snapped. He looked over the group to look for me. “Let’s go,” he said once he spied me trying to shrink into Zack’s side. Jack gritted his teeth and muttered something I didn’t quite catch, but got up anyway.

We walked out silently and piled into the van. Zack rubbed circles on my back while I lay across his lap. I could hear Jack complaining about how I was a nuisance and he couldn’t believe this shit. Finally, Rian snapped and smacked him upside the head.

“You have no clue what you’re talking about you jackass. Shut up and stop talking shit about Abby,” Rian growled. Jack fell silent and I started counting to myself. I passed out after I hit 1,209.

I woke up to clanging sounds in an unfamiliar house, on the floor, wrapped in covers that were not mine. My head hurt and I remembered what happened last night. I felt nauseous and the sunlight hitting my face was not helping. So this was what it was like to be hung over. It was not fun. I looked around and noticed other bodies surrounding me and light snores coming from four of them. I finally realized that we were in Alex’s house. The sun poured in through a window and I finally noticed that the noise was coming from the kitchen. After one particularly loud bang Lisa, Kara, and Linda sat up, alarmed.

The fright disappeared from their faces as they recognized their surroundings. “Oh, hey Abby,” Lisa yawned as she stretched her arms and back. “You feel any better?”

Kara had rolled back over next to who I assumed was Rian and fell back asleep. Linda pretended to be occupied with her blankets, but I could tell that she was listening. “I’m better I guess. I still feel sick to my stomach and my head hurts. But I guess that’s what a hangover is all about.” I smiled at her slightly.

“Well, be careful, Alex’s parents won’t like that you’re hung over. They’ll think that we all drank,” Lisa said gently. I could tell she was trying hard to not offend me.

“If they ask anything, I’ll tell them the truth. I drank and got drunk, and now I’m hung over through no fault of any of you.”

“We’re not going to sell you out. Just, try to not look hung over.” Lisa threw the covers away from her and stood up. “I’m going to shower really quick okay?”

I nodded and lay back down gently. The sounds from the kitchen filtered in steadily followed by the smell of food. I groaned; right now, nothing seemed appetizing. I heard Linda get up and go into the other room. I turned to face the area she was in and noticed Jack looking back at me. He rubbed his eyes, still full of sleep and sat up. The others slowly did the same and one by one muttered good morning to me, well, all except Jack. He fixed me with a disinterested glare and said nothing.

I sighed when he left. This was never going to be the same again was it?

“Don’t worry about it, Abby. He’ll get over it,” Rian whispered, He laid down again next to Kara, pulling her into his arms while she slept.

“Yeah, he’s just being a jerk,” Alex added. He stood up and left the den. Zack simply smiled apologetically before moving closer to me.

“Are you okay?” He looked at my face, searching for any signs of a breakdown.

I nodded slowly. “I’m okay. I just feel sick. I’m hung over, alright.”

Zack laughed. “Uh, yes, you are. Bet you never thought you’d do that, huh?”

I shook my head. Zack stood up and left me wondering what I was supposed to do before returning with a bottle of water and a banana. “Here,” he said handing them to me. “Bananas cure hangovers.”

I took them and sipped some water before peeling the banana. “Does this really work?” I asked taking a bite.

“Yep, they really do.” Zack smiled. His smile faded though in the silence. “I was so scared when we finally found you.”

I chewed slowly, not sure what to say, but Zack continued. “I just saw you, lying there half naked, and I was just so… I can’t even describe it.”

I blushed at the thought that Zack had seen me naked and in such a state. How embarrassing. “I – I’m sorry Zack.”

“What happened?”

I’d been dreading this question, dreading it with a passion. Once I told Zack the truth, he’d realize how stupid I was. I inhaled slowly, thinking of how I was going to sit there and tell one of my best friends that Jack hurt my feelings and my automatic response was to get drunk. That wasn’t me, it shouldn’t be. And that I let this guy who was a stranger take control of me.

“I – I,”I stuttered. Jack walked back in again, unknowingly saving me from a conversation I didn’t want to have. I sighed in relief. Zack looked up at Jack as he folded up his and Linda’s blankets.

I finished my banana and drank all the water in silence while everyone came back into the room. “Did you want to go home, shower and change, and then come back?” Alex asked me. He was buckling his belt and adjusting his jeans. I stood up, feeling much better and nodded. This would get me away from Zack’s questions and Jack’s glares.