I've Hoped For Change, It Gets Better Everyday

“Jack Bassam Barakat.”

Principal Davis read off names from the podium. I watched as best I could from my place in line as Jack bounded up the stairs and took his diploma.

“Whoo! Go Jack!” I cheered in pride; he’d done so well.

School was finished and now we were here celebrating the end of thirteen years of the same routine. Everyone would go on to do great things in their lives, I truly believed that. I smiled to myself as I thought of how my life had changed, all thanks to Jack. How could he not do something great in his life?

“Robert Rian Dawson,” the Principal called. I cheered again, though not as enthusiastically as Kara. She just about lost her cap; she was jumping around so much.

“Kara Diakoulas.” Kara glided onto the stage, graceful as ever.

“Alexander William Gaskarth,” Davis announced. To my surprise, people booed as Alex jumped onstage and grabbed his diploma. He faced the crowd and walked to the podium interrupting Principal Davis.

“We got signed bitches and we’re gonna be famous, so shut the fuck up!” Alex yelled. I was the only person who laughed out loud. Everyone around me stared and gave me the rudest looks.

“What?” I shrugged. “They did get signed.” I confirmed.

Alex was shooed offstage and Principal Davis shook his head. He continued with graduation. I looked around the crowd to see if my parents had come. It was a special day, after all. A stupid fight wouldn’t keep them from this right?

I finally spotted my sister Aimee, her boyfriend, Adam and my dad. My mother, however, was nowhere to be seen. My family waved at me and I attempted to smile and wave back with enthusiasm, but all I could think about was that my own mother didn’t come to my graduation.

“Zackary Steven Merrick.”

I zoned out for the moment and only just registered that they had called Zack’s name. I yelled out a half-assed congrats as the crowd died down. I was still deep in thought when they called my name.

“Abigail Dawn Stone,” Principal Davis said. “Abigail Dawn Stone,” he repeated. Someone behind me pushed me forward and I stumbled onto the stage.

“Sorry,” I muttered. I heard cheering and wolf-whistles from the crowd and smiled when my eyes landed on Jack. Air horns shrieked obnoxiously and I blushed when I saw that it was the boys who’d brought them. I was officially finished with high school.

Once we were formally dismissed, everyone gathered around to take pictures. I handed off my own camera to Lisa as Joyce and Bassam hugged me and Jack. I posed for a picture with Kara, then with Lisa, who’d come to support her man, Rian, Alex, and Zack too. My family made their way through the sea of people.

“Congratulations sis!” Aimee pulled me into a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah congratulations,” Brad added. I nodded in thanks. He was very sweet and perfect for my sister.

“I really didn’t think you’d get such a big cheer from the crowd,” Adam teased. I punched his arm.

“Shut up, you dork,” I replied. I hugged him. “Thanks for coming.”

“Wouldn’t miss it, you’re my sister,” Adam shrugged.

“Congratulations sweetheart,” my dad said. He hugged me tight. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, dad,” I replied. “Where’s mom?”

My father sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s at home.”

I nodded. “Right, of course.”

“She misses you, she just doesn’t know how to act,” my dad offered.

“Don’t defend her, dad. She’s punishing me because I moved out of her house and in with the Barakats. She still wants to control me and now that she can’t, she doesn’t want anything to do with me,” I hissed. “Just forget it, okay? I don’t want to ruin tonight. We’re all going to dinner, if you want to come.”

My dad just nodded, but I knew he wouldn’t go anyway. None of them would. I wandered out of the building and took a deep breath. I noticed a ladder leading to the roof. I quickly looked around, thankful that everyone was too busy inside with the graduates to notice me. I climbed the first rung of the ladder carefully, seeing as I was in a dress and heels. Once at the top, I sat on the edge overlooking the school campus, tucking the end of my skirt underneath my legs. The sun had just set, and a chill accompanied the light breeze. I pulled my thin gown around me tighter.

“What are you doing out here?”

I jumped at the sound of Tyler’s voice. “Oh god, you scared me!”

“Sorry, about that,” Tyler chuckled. “So, what are you doing here?”

“I just needed some time alone,” I replied. “It was getting claustrophobic.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Tyler took a seat next to me. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” I replied. “It’s surreal.”

“I’ll bet. Well I actually got you something. You know, because you’ve been a great friend, and it is your graduation,” Tyler rambled. He handed me a small box.

“Oh, Ty, thanks… but you really didn’t have to,” I told him.

“I know, but I wanted too. You were a fantastic friend,” Tyler replied, handing me the box. I took it and opened it. Inside there was a silver bracelet, with bird charms that matched the necklace Jack had given me for my birthday.

“Thank you Tyler, I love it,” I grinned. I took the bracelet out of its box and clasped it onto my left wrist. “It’s beautiful.”

“Just like you,” Tyler mumbled. I turned to look at him, but met with much more than his face. His lips molded against mine. My eyes fluttered shut for a beat as I kissed him back before I realized what was happening. I pushed him away from me and looked at him in shock.

“Tyler, what are you doing?”

“Sorry, I just had to kiss you,” Tyler replied sheepishly.

“Tyler, we’re friends. I – I have a boyfriend and I love him,” I stuttered through my sentence.

“I know… I just had to try it once. I didn’t want to go on wondering what if.”

“We’ve always been just friends, Tyler. Why would you wonder what if?” I asked. “If I’d realized that, I would’ve put a stop to it.”

“You’re a great friend and I mean, it’s easy to like you,” Tyler fiddled with the hem of his gray t-shirt.

“Tyler, that’s so sweet, but you and me, we’re just friends. That’s all we can ever be. I’m sorry…” I undid the bracelet and tried to hand it over to him. “I can’t accept this.”

“No, Abby, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. I want you to have it, okay? I mean, I didn’t really feel much. So please keep it,” Tyler insisted. He clasped the bracelet back around my wrist. “We’re just friends.”

I sighed in relief. “Thanks. For the bracelet, I mean. And your friendship, it was great to have someone to talk to.”

“Same here thanks for being my only friend,” Tyler chuckled. “Can we pretend the kiss never happened?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I think it would be best if we did. But, we should get going; I’m pretty sure that Jack’s looking for me.”

I climbed back down the ladder carefully, before Tyler. I knew he would look up my dress, no matter what he’d said. I reached the last rung when I noticed people standing around me. Jordan, the bane of my existence, was standing there with a smug look on his face. Jack was next to him, clearly upset. Alex, Lisa, Rian, Kara, and the Barakats were standing in a small group behind them, each with a look of distaste on their face.

“Uh, what’s going on?” I asked, very aware of everyone’s eyes on me.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Jack replied stiffly. He eyes landed on Tyler, who’d dropped down next to me.

“I just needed some fresh air,” I said, testing out the waters. Jack seemed very, very upset.

“So you breathe better with Tyler’s tongue down your throat?” Jack asked bitterly. I felt my stomach drop and my heart stop. He’d seen Tyler kiss me.

“Listen man, it’s not like that. It was my f-” Tyler began, but was silenced as Jack’s fist collided with his jaw.

“Jack!”I gasped as Tyler stumbled back.

“I’d shut up if I were you,” Jack spat. He shook his hand out and glared at me. “Let’s go.”

If I said I wasn’t scared, I’d be lying. Jack was seriously pissed off. I followed Jack timidly, but apparently not quickly enough for Jack because he reached behind the small of my back and pushed me forward to pick up my pace. I looked back to see Tyler rubbing his jaw and watching with the others as Jack led me to his car. Joyce and Bassam had begun to make their way to their own car, Joyce keeping an eye on us. She looked worried, which didn’t do much to ease my fears.

“Jack?” I asked quietly. He shook his head and raised his hand to cut me off.

“I don’t want to talk right now, just hush,” he said.

“Jack, I really am sorry,” I tried again. “I really just needed some air, and I went on the roof. Tyler found me there and we were just talking and then he kissed me and I was shocked, so I pushed him away and told him that he couldn’t do that. Then we decided that we were just friends and to just pretend it never happened. And that’s it, Jack, I promise.”

“So you were going to keep it a secret from me?” Jack asked skeptically. Well, shit.

“N-no,” I replied weakly. Jack looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. “M-maybe? Okay, fine, I wasn’t going to tell you,” I admitted.

Jack laughed bitterly. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Don’t be mad, please,” I pleaded. “It didn’t mean a thing, I swear Jack.”

“Did you kiss him back?” Jack asked.

I froze. Technically I had kissed Tyler back. Granted, it was only for a second, but still I did. “No, I didn’t.”

Jack sighed in what sounded like relief. “Fine, just forget it happened. Let’s just have dinner with everyone.”

I sighed in relief and reached out to hold Jack’s hand. Thankfully, he responded quickly, placing his hand in mine. “I love you Jack, so much. I would never purposely hurt you.”

Jack pulled into the parking lot of the Portofino’s Restaurant. “I know… I’m sorry I went postal. I just freaked out. The thought of you being with anyone else instead of me terrifies me. And that prick, Jordan, just had to rub it in my face.”

“I know, I understand. I feel the same way when it comes to you. But, Jack, you can’t just go around punching my friends,” I stated.

“It was a knee-jerk reaction. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you being friends with Tyler,” Jack said.

“What?” I asked incredulously. “You’re dictating who I can be friends with?”

“When your friends start kissing you, even when they know you’re taken, yes, I have a say as to who you’re friends with,” Jack countered.

“Jack, that’s not fair. Tyler himself said it was a mistake,” I defended. “Besides, we’re friends… really good friends. I don’t want to stop talking to him. It’s not like you’re going to be here to keep me company when you go on tour.”

“Wow, you say I’m not fair? You’re throwing it in my face that I’m leaving for tour in order to keep your friendship with the guy who kissed you?” Jack retorted.

“Who else am I supposed to count on if you’re not here?” I shot back, getting annoyed.

“You have Lisa and Kara, my mom and dad, and your brother and sister,” Jack counted on his fingers. “You can’t tell me that Tyler is so special that you absolutely need him.”

“What about you? You don’t think I know what being in a band on tour means? There will be girls all over you. You’re a sex crazed teenager who’s going to be in tempting situations!” I accused.

Jack looked at me in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me? We’ve been going out for almost six months and you haven’t put out shit! And I haven’t once thought about going out and having sex with anyone but you, and now you’re accusing me of potentially cheating on you?”

I was frustrated and mad, but I couldn’t say anything because Jack had a very valid point. He hadn’t cheated on me in the months we’d been together, and since the one time he’d been too drunk to realize what he was doing, he hadn’t pushed me to sleep with him. I looked out the window. Joyce and Bassam had just pulled up, followed by everyone else. I looked down at my hands, tracing the patterns on my dress.

Jack unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. “Just get trough dinner, we’ll talk later,” he said coldly and got off, leaving me in the passenger seat. I watched him walk up to the doors and meet our friends, who looked back at me in confusion. I sighed and undid the buckle myself.

Tonight was supposed to be fantastic, and I royally fucked up.