I've Hoped For Change, It Gets Better Everyday

The reaction when I walked into each of my classes was the same. Disbelief and confusion filled the faces of every one of my classmates. It was satisfying to be in the spotlight for something positive rather than because I tripped over everything. That’s not to say I was the picture of grace, I still tripped over lots of things; books, chairs, my own feet, but everyone seemed to be nicer about it.

The end of the day came quickly and as usual, since I didn’t have a car and I had taken forever, I was walking to work. I had changed in the girls’ restroom and tied my hair up in a ponytail. My uniform wasn’t my favorite outfit, but at least it wasn’t completely hideous. It was a pastel pink, short-sleeve, dress with white cuffs and a white apron. The skirt fell just under my knees, showing off my white tennis shoes. Lucille’s was a 50’s style diner, so management wanted everyone in character.

I couldn’t help but think of Jack, and the way he acted around me. I was more than a little confused; I’d never given boys much thought because I figured they were all misogynistic pigs, as proven by the one boyfriend I’d had my freshman year. With that in mind, I never took the time to over analyze everything he did. It wasn’t like I had anyone other than Aimee to do that with and she was hardly around.

But now, as I thought of the guys, I realized that not all boys are like Jordan or any one of the guys in his crew. Maybe there was some hope for that gender. I mean, look at my dad. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. He was still my hero, even when that perception of your parent tends to fade with time. My goal was to find a guy who was as sweet and caring towards me as my dad was to my mother. They had a very good marriage, not perfect, but they knew how to make it work.

“Abby, I’m glad you made it. How are you dear?” Gretchen, one of the other waitresses, greeted me as I walked in. “You look so beautiful today. I love what you’ve done with your hair.”

“Hey Gretchen, thank you,” I answered and walked to the back room to put my things in my locker. I grabbed my pen, tablet, and some straws and stuck them into the pockets of my apron. I walked back out and Gretchen assigned me a section.

“Could you tend the area in the back corner, tables 10 - 20?” Gretchen asked me. I nodded and walked over, ready to face customers.

“Well, if it isn’t our favorite person.” Jack, Alex, Zack, and Rian each greeted me with a grin. I couldn’t help but smile back. Their smiles were infectious.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

“We were hungry and remembered that you worked here. So we thought we’d come try the place out,” Alex explained. “So what’s good around here?”

“Uh, well basically everything’s pretty good. My favorite’s the chicken strip basket,” I suggested. “But, that’s just me. Do you guys want something to drink first?”

“Coke,” they all answered at the same time. I nodded as I jotted down their drink orders.

“Okay I’m gonna go get that and then I’ll be back to take your orders.” I went behind the counter to fill four cups with ice and Coke, listening to the boys talk to each other quietly.

“I don’t know what I want,” Jack sighed.

“Yeah you do, but Abby’s just not on the menu,” Alex quipped. I blushed as I heard a thump and Zack and Rian chuckled. “Ow!” Alex yelped.

“Shut up,” Jack reprimanded. I imagined that he looked over at me to see if I’d heard, so I pretended that I didn’t hear anything. Still red faced, I carefully balanced four drinks on a tray and took them to the table. I set them down in front of everyone and handed them straws.

“You guys ready?” I pulled out my tablet and pen, waiting for them to order.

“I want a burger with fries,” Rian said simply, putting the menu at the edge of the table.

“Same,” Zack said as he stacked his menu on Rian’s.

“I want grilled cheese, and fries,” Alex grinned. “And Jack, well he’d like a special order of y-” Jack clamped his hand over Alex’s mouth and looked at me nervously.

“I think I’ll try those chicken strips,” he smiled slightly, not letting go of Alex, who was squirming.

I ignored Alex and wrote down everything. “Okay, you guys want regular or seasoned fries?”

“Regular,” Rian and Zack said at the same time. Then they shouted at each other. “JINX!”

“Alex and I want seasoned fries,” Jack answered for both Alex and himself, since Alex was a tad bit preoccupied.

“Okay, I’ll have it right out.” I walked away, holding in the giggles that threatened to escape.

I slipped the order into the revolving rack and went to help other customers. Every once in a while, I’d glance over to the guys’ table and see Jack looking at me. He’d give me a smile before returning to his conversation. I smiled back each time, butterflies invading my stomach.

I returned to the table to place their plates in front of them and walked back to the counter to roll forks and knives into napkins. I looked up every once in a while to check if anyone needed anything. After a while, I noticed Alex waving me over. I put down the fork I had picked up and sauntered over.

“We’re ready for the check,” Alex stated. I nodded and pulled out my tablet and handed them the first slip of paper.

“You can just take it to the cash register and I’ll get it up there.” They said thank you and I walked back, passing the massive pile of silverware and heading to the register. Jack came up not two seconds later.

“The chicken strips are actually good here,” he said, trying to make small talk as I rang up the prices.

“Yeah, they’re my favorite, but that’s just because I’m a sucker for chicken,” I replied. “That’ll be 17.92.”

“Well, chicken is pretty great,” he chuckled, as he handed me a twenty dollar bill. This conversation was severely lacking in interest and I didn’t know what to say.

“Uh, so what are you doing this weekend?” he asked.

I handed him his change and thought for a moment. I only worked part time and usually had the weekends free to do homework and go to the library.

“Uh, nothing super important. Why?” I handed him his receipt.

“Well, we’ve got a gig at a friend’s house tomorrow night. They’re having a party. I thought maybe you’d like to hang out with us at Alex’s and we can all go to the party from there,” Jack stuffed his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans, something I found hard to believe; there wasn’t much room in there.

“Oh, um, well I’d love to actually, but I’ve got to ask my parents first.” I shifted my weight.

“Okay, that’s fine. Here, you can call me and I’ll pick you up on my way over to Alex’s.” He grabbed a pen and scribbled a phone number on the back of his receipt. “Call me around noon and let me know what they say.”

I pocketed the number and nodded. “Okay. Um, this party, there will be drinking and smoking and stuff, yes?”

He nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, that’s pretty much the norm.”

“I doubt that they’ll let me go with that being a possibility. What do I even wear?” I asked, in the event my parents would be too out of it to prohibit my attendance to this party.

“Jeans and a shirt; whatever you want really. But, I wouldn’t recommend a dress and heels in case we need to book it,” he shrugged. “Every time a party gets busted, one girl always trips, shows a little too much, and gets caught. But if you want to wear a dress, that’s fine I guess,” he rambled. “Rule of thumb is to make sure it’s comfortable enough that you can sit on the ground without showing your bits.”

I blushed intensely. “Uh, I’ll keep that in mind. I think I’ll stick to jeans.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” He smiled at me one more time before Alex yelled at him for taking too long. “I’ll see you tomorrow; Alex is horny and wants to go see his girlfriend.” He rolled his eyes.

I laughed. “Bye, Jack.” I watched them all leave and thought of what I was going to say to convince my parents to let me go to the party.

~*~

“But mom, please! I promise I won’t drink and I most definitely won’t smoke. I won’t accept anything to drink from a stranger and I’ll stick with my friends like gum on a shoe. Please, please let me go!” I was on my knees at this point, begging my mother and father to let me go with Jack and the guys to a party later that night. My efforts were in vain. They were young once too, but that only meant that they knew what parties were like, so I was screwed.

“No, do you have any idea what could happen at these things?” My mom was the worrier in the family. She constantly over analyzed everything. “What if you aren’t looking and someone slips something into your drink, rapes you, kills you and you never come home?”

I sighed; this was getting me nowhere fast.

“Besides, I don’t think I trust these boys. I don’t even know them,” my dad added.

“That’s, true we don’t even know these boys!” my mother seconded.

“They’re my friends. Okay? They aren’t awful or mean; in fact they’re my only friends. They’re sweet and wouldn’t try anything. I hardly ever go out unless it has to do with work or school. Please, I’ll be okay. I’ll be careful, just please, please let me go,” I pleaded, hoping they trusted me enough to let me go.

They looked at each other, and then back at me. “Fine, you can go, but we want you to check in every couple of hours, at least a text to let us know you’re okay. No drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no going into a bedroom, stay away from strangers, and be aware of those boys. Make sure they don’t try anything,” my dad finally finished.

“THANK YOU!” I jumped and hugged them. I ran upstairs to change and call Jack. I pulled on the hot pink and black plaid skinny jeans, and black one shouldered bubble blouse I’d chosen last night in case I was allowed to go, and dialed Jack’s number on my phone. I slipped on my black flats as it rang.

“Hello?” Jack answered.

“Jack? It’s Abby. I can go!” I squealed. “Sorry, I’m just excited.”

“It’s fine,” he laughed. “I’ll pick you up in ten minutes.”

“Okay. I live at 2659 North-”

“I know where you live. I’ll be there,” he cut me off.

“Okay.” I hung up, a little confused, and fixed my hair one last time before grabbing my phone and some money. I ran down the stairs, past Adam who stopped me.

“What are you wearing?” Adam asked. I looked down at myself.

“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, curious.

“Isn’t that a little too… too… tight?” he stammered. “I mean, you shouldn’t wear that. That’s just inviting guys to look and stuff.”

I scoffed at his attempt to play the protective brother card. “The big brother thing only works if you’re older, kid.” I ruffled his hair and rushed to the living room to look out the window.

Adam followed. “Are you going on a date or something?”

“No, my friend is coming to pick me up.” I sat down on the couch.

“You don’t have any friends,” Adam stated. I stuck my tongue out at him when I heard the hum of Jack’s engine.

“I do too. Now I’ve got to go, see you.” I rushed out the door and almost tripped, but I managed to steady myself.

“You okay there?” Jack asked when I opened the door.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just extremely klutzy,” I muttered.

“I’d hate to see the damage you’d inflict upon yourself and others if you were wearing heels,” he laughed.

I groaned. “You know, if I wanted to be made fun of, I would’ve hung out with Jordan and his crew.”

“It’s all in good fun girlie, all in good fun,” he smiled and started driving. “You look nice, by the way.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“So you’re gonna get to meet Lisa today,” Jack said.

“Who’s Lisa?” I asked him confused.

“Alex’s girlfriend,” he explained. “She goes to that private school on the opposite side of town.”

“Oh, my brother goes there,” I stated absently, watching the trees as they passed.

We didn’t talk much after and soon we were at Alex’s house. He introduced me to Lisa, who was sitting on Alex’s lap.

“Hey, I’m Lisa, Alex’s girlfriend.” She smiled at me warmly. I smiled back and held out my hand.

“I’m Abigail,” I told her. She took my hand and shook it as Alex grinned and kissed her before getting up.

The boys were going to practice first then get ready to go. I sat down on the couch next to Lisa while we waited for them to start. I found that I liked Lisa very much. We talked for a bit before Alex hooked up his microphone.

“Okay, so this song is called ‘The Girl’s a Straight Up Hustler’,” Alex announced to us on the microphone.

Rian counted down, then Jack and Zack plucked the first notes of the song. Rian came in on his drums just as Alex began to sing.

“Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets,
coloring my senses cherry red; at least for this week...
Kisses under starry night skies, talked about in song,
we play along, so bitter sweet by our design.
I'm sick and tired of writing songs about you,
This is it, this is the end...”

The guys jumped up just as the drums and music hit a crescendo. I was already speechless.

“Take off your makeup and put down the camera,
choke on the drama that makes me want to,
tear up the pictures, the pages you've saved,
creating a life of trends and make believe...”

Jack switched rhythms and the song picked up again.

“I've got no place in my heart for a criminal like you to dwell,
in this endeavor, make this last forever...
I'm just delirious,
You can't be serious,
You're so infamous for leaving me a mess...

Take off your makeup, put down the camera,
choke on the drama that makes me want to,
tear up the pictures and pages you've saved,
creating a life of trends and make believe...”

There was a slight pause of energy right as they went into the bridge and Alex, Jack and Zack were all singing.

“She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets,
get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces /
"Are you having a good time sweetheart?"

Take off your makeup, put down the camera,
choke on the drama that makes me want to,
tear up the pictures and pages you've saved,
creating a life of trends and make believe...”

The music slowed, mimicking the opening verse.

“Carry on home,
I'll be waiting miles and miles away,
leaving you to be forever seventeen,
cleaning up the messes that you've made.”

Alex‘s voice faded out and they all looked at me expectantly. I couldn’t help but smile. They were absolutely amazing. Lisa had this proud look plastered onto her face that just screamed ‘that’s my man’.

“Oh my god, you guys are fantastic,” I stated, staring at them like they were angels. “You’re gonna be huge.”

Everyone except Lisa cracked a smile and laughed off my comment. I shook my head. “No, you guys, I’m serious. You’re going to be huge. And, I expect to be remembered for telling you so.” I crossed my arms.

“I’ve been telling them that since forever,” Lisa argued.

“Very well, Lisa and I expect to be remembered for telling you guys that you’re going to be huge when you hit it big,” I rephrased.

Jack smiled. “Okay, you both will be remembered the day we get signed and go on a tour, a real tour.”

“We’ll hold you to it.” I couldn’t help but smile back. He made me grin like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. The butterflies returned and tickled my stomach.

Lisa laughed and said her goodbyes to us; she had to go get a few things done before the party and would meet us there later. We exchanged phone numbers and she told me to text or call her whenever I wanted.

The guys played a few more songs for me before they decided they were ready for tonight. They played rock, paper, scissors, to determine which two were able to take showers first. Alex and Jack both won and each ran to a bathroom. That left me with a pouty Zack and bored looking Rian. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them; I just hadn’t really talked to them much, so we were hardly as comfortable with each other as Alex, Jack and I were. We sat staring at the wall until Zack decided silence was not his thing.

“So, it would seem that someone’s got a spell on Jack.” He nudged my shoulder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied and scooted over more trying not to let my arm touch his sweaty one.

Rian chuckled. “Sure you do, we see how Jack looks at you and we definitely see how you look at him. And, he’s been going out of his way to be nice to you.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” I muttered. As I said it, I realized how bummed out it made me feel to think that he wasn’t really flirting with me.

“Yeah, it does,” Zack stated. “It means he likes you, a lot. And if you like him back, then you can both get together and keep Jack in line for us.” He grinned.

I sighed and stood up. “You guys are assuming and planning way too much. I’ve only known and talked to you all for a week. Less than that, even. I appreciate your friendship, but at this point we’re not at the stage where we gather round and exchange personal feelings and whatnot. We’re somewhere after acquaintances and just before friends. We’re on the middle ground. So, please, stop acting like you know me and what I want.”

The two of them just stared at me and shrugged. “Fine.”

“Fine what?” Alex walked in with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. A very small towel, might I add. I blushed and looked away; Lisa would not be proud of the amount of time it had taken me.

“Fine nothing. We were just talking. Why aren’t you dressed?” I asked, staring at my shoes.

“Oh, because I forgot I left some stuff down here,” he replied nonchalantly. He walked over to his backpack and grabbed something before returning upstairs to change. “The bathroom in my parents’ room is open guys,” he called.

Rian jumped up and grabbed his backpack to go shower. Zack and I didn’t say anything. It was awkward and I felt bad for snapping at him. I was about to apologize when Jack walked in, also in nothing but a towel. I blushed even more, because this time I was having even more trouble looking away. Zack jumped up and ran to the other bathroom.

“Doesn’t anyone know how to change after a shower?” I snapped at him. He looked at me and smirked.

“Well I was going to, but I forgot my clothes down here.” He pointed to his backpack. He sauntered over and grabbed a pair of boxers and slipped them on quickly under the towel. I blushed even more when I realized he had been completely naked under the towel. Believe it or not, it hadn’t occurred to me. I tried to look away but he started walking over to me in his boxers. I was frozen in place as he got closer.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Freaking you out,” he replied. He was an inch away from me and I could feel his breath on my forehead. I had to look up to meet his eyes, those gorgeous earth colored orbs.

Oh god, I think I’m in love…

My mind conjured up the sentence and my breath hitched. I swear to god he smirked, because he knew what was going on in my head. I finally figured out how to make myself move and I stepped back. There wasn’t enough distance between us, so I did the only thing I could; I ran.

“Abby, wait, I was only messing with you!” Jack called after me, but I was too scared of my epiphany to stop.

I’m not sure how far, or in which direction I ran, but I found myself in the middle of a playground at a park. I walked over to the swings, out of breath. I’d tripped a couple of times, but nothing major. I sat and started swinging, the breeze playing with my hair.

Why had I run? Because I was scared. I was scared that I might actually be falling for a guy who I’ve only known for three days. For all I knew, Jordan was right, and Jack only wanted one thing from me. He didn’t worry about school or a real career; he wasn’t even sure of his own potential. We had really nothing in common and, he probably didn’t really like me the way I seemed to like him.

The bottom line: he could break my heart.