Somewhere Weaknesses Are Strength

For a few hours, Sebastian had been left alone in the bedchamber. When Hayley left, she put the book back in the drawer where she found it. She didn't feel much like reading anymore. The travel journal was too graphic for the princess' liking. The newfound information was tumbling around in her head. It had been since Hayley left. Sebastian had been picking and choosing what she felt was important, ignoring the pity she felt for the pirate.

Sebastian was still planning on escaping.

Besides women, Hayley's sisters were another weakness. Hayley dealt with her parents' disapproving gaze once a week just to see them. Sebastian didn't doubt the pirate adored them.

But Sebastian couldn't use innocent girls as bait. She couldn't kidnap them, tie them up, and threaten to hurt them if Hayley didn't release her. Sure, it had crossed her mind but there were too many flaws in that. Sebastian had no idea where the sibling's lived; the makeup of the land itself was a mystery to her. She was completely against the kidnapping of another human being, whether it be for her wellbeing or not. It was wrong. Not to mention Hayley would kill her if she threatened a hair on her sisters' heads.

She had seen Hayley's aim; Sebastian was not going to play around.

Sebastian sighed, staring out the window from her spot on the bed. She wished she could stand in front of it to feel the wind full force. That wasn't possible; it never would be. She missed staring out of her window at home.

She pulled the blanket tighter around her body. The wind was much colder here than it was at the palace. Though they lived near a mass of water, the air was never this cold.

The opened window had been comforting for awhile but, now, it reminded her of her burned down home. She could still picture her bedroom with the cobblestone embroidered window. She could still see the territory. She could still see the people she was to rule over. It was too much of a reminder of what she lost. She wanted to cry again and probably would if provoked.

Those thoughts needed to stay as far away from her mind as possible for the sake of her escape plan.

The door opened, drawing Sebastian's attention away from the window. Hayley walked in, as she had done earlier, with a tray of food clutched in her hands. Sebastian noted the glow on the captain's face.

Sebastian got the feeling she wouldn't be able to pump crew members for information again that day.

"Dinner time," Hayley sang.

Sebastian ignored the butterflies that banged against the confines of her stomach. She would not admit that the pirate caused reactions in her.

"I thought you were going to be busy all day," Sebastian said.

"I was. But my day is over now. Jeremy watches the night crew till the morning shift unless something goes wrong. He's my master-at-arms."

Jeremy was the man that came in earlier, the one that broke apart the kissing session between Hayley and Sebastian. Sebastian had caught a glimpse of his back when he left, which she recognized from somewhere but she couldn't place it. She stopped trying to figure it out. The mentioning of his name brought the image to her head, fresh and followed by a second image.

"He killed my father," Sebastian whispered.

"He can't be fully to blame. I'm the one who ordered him to do it. You were supposed to die the same way but you were wearing that dress," Hayley trailed off.

Hayley's mind filled with images of Sebastian standing on the stairs, face stricken with horror and fear, nursemaid dead at her feet. Her breasts looked so good in that dress. It was like they were on a platter just for Hayley.

Sebastian saw the lust filling Hayley's eyes. She knew what Hayley was thinking about. The urge to cry became stronger. Anne was gone. Her nursemaid that spent ages taking care of her was dead. All of the time Anne put into breeding Sebastian, making her a presentable young lady, didn't matter anymore. The memories of playing dolls with Anne when her mother was busy would remain a distant memory. All the secrets Sebastian had shared found a grave. Their bond was broken.

The open window allowing salty air to rush in was not helping anything. It was only helping in pushing tears into her eyes.

"Can we close the window?" Sebastian asked.

The sound of Sebastian's voice snapped Hayley out of her stupor. She could see the tears forming in her eyes, threatening to drip down the princess' porcelain cheeks. Hayley placed the tray of food at the foot of the bed and climbed on, sitting next to Sebastian and wrapping an arm around her.

"What's wrong?" Hayley asked.

"Can we just close the window?"

A few tears fell past the floodgates of Sebastian's eyes, leaving streaks down her cheeks as they traveled. She tried to hold back the rest. Crying in front of the pirate could not happen. She already appeared weak enough; she didn't need crying to add to it.

"It's okay to cry, sweetheart," Hayley said.

As if on command, Sebastian's tears fell without control. With each passing second, they fell with a greater intensity, making Sebastian's body shake. Hayley wrapped her other arm around Sebastian, letting the princess cry against her shoulder.

Sebastian couldn't believe she was crying again. She was supposed to be over this. She wasn't supposed to cry. Her father would be so angry with her for crying in the arms of a pirate.

Hayley's kindness only aided in making her feel worse, prompting more tears to fall from Sebastian's eyes. Hayley rocked Sebastian.

"Calm down, it'll be okay," Hayley commanded.

Sebastian's sobs calmed to whimpers and nearly silent tears almost immediately. Hayley had that power over her.

"I miss them," Sebastian whimpered, clutching Hayley's shirt.

God, she was weak. No good ruler would cry in the arms of a pirate. None that could be trusted. Sebastian knew she would have run her country into the ground if she had ever taken control.

Too bad it was there now.

"I know you do but it will be okay I promise. Look at the positive; you're alive. You could be dead too," Hayley said.

"I'd rather be dead."

Sebastian had already thought about dying, about throwing herself from the ship to drown. She was still hurting. But she wasn't aware she still felt like that.

Death would be better than living on the ship. It was the ultimate escape plan.

"You don't mean that," Hayley said.

"Yes, I do," Sebastian insisted.

"No, you don't. Stop crying you're going to get sick."

"If I get sick, I could die."

"I have enough medical expertise on this ship to keep you alive and even more on land."

Josh said something quite the opposite of that when Sebastian was in the room at the bottom of the ship.

Sebastian pulled her face from Hayley's shoulder to look her in the eyes, "I thought you didn't have much medical attention onboard."

Hayley couldn't help noticing that, even with tear stains and blotchy features from a rough cry, Sebastian was gorgeous. She didn't think she could ever see Sebastian as anything else.

"We said that to get you to stop crying. It was filthy in the room you were staying in. You had more risk of getting sick. In here, there's less risk and the doctor can attend to you twenty-four seven if necessary."

"Oh," Sebastian whispered, resting her head on Hayley's shoulder again.

Her tears had stopped flowing, leaving a slight sting in her eyes. She let herself go in front of a pirate. She was ashamed of herself. And she let her thoughts of death slip. If she had said she would rather die around her father, he would tan her hide in a second.

Sebastian stayed cuddled in Hayley's arms. Hayley ran her fingers through Sebastian's hair. Her other arm had fallen from its place on Sebastian's shoulder to her lower back, her thumb rubbing circles on Sebastian's bare skin. Sebastian's outburst surprised Hayley. Up until then, the princess seemed fine for the most part. She was pretty good at hiding her feelings; Hayley knew she needed to watch her.

"Are you feeling better?" Hayley asked.

Being in the captain's arms soothed Sebastian more than she was willing to admit.

Sebastian nodded. She didn't know if she would ever truly feel better. Her home was gone, her people and family killed; there was no way to feel better about that.

"Good, I promise everything will be just fine," Hayley said.

"How can you say that? You're the one who destroyed my country."

"Someone else would have been hired to do the same thing. They would have followed full orders and killed you, probably raping you in the process."

"But I'm here for you to mess around with me."

"I haven't forced you to do anything you didn't want to yet, have I?"

Hayley was right. As much as Sebastian didn't want to agree with her, she knew things could be worse in the situation she was in. Everything that had been done to her so far, she allowed. But she didn't want to think about how much she had allowed to happen already.

"You're right," Sebastian mumbled.

"Exactly. Its better that we were the ones hired to destroy your country. I've seen the way some pirates treat their captives; you could be in a much worse situation right now."

Hayley let go of Sebastian's body, taking the tray from the foot of the bed and placing it in front of Sebastian.

"Eat," Hayley commanded.

"I'm not hungry."

Sobbing took away her appetite.

"Are you sure?" Hayley asked.

"Yes."

"Well, there's something we can do instead of eating," Hayley smirked, moving the tray to one of her bedside tables.

Sebastian was not in the mood to find out what Hayley had in mind.