Somewhere Weaknesses Are Strength

The mattress on Hayley's side of the bed dipped under weight, distracting Sebastian's dream world long enough to rouse her from sleep. She could feel no captain spooned around her body, the comfort she fell asleep to. Her eyes fluttered open. Hayley sat on the edge of the mattress, illuminated by the light of the bedside lamp, her back to Sebastian. Lazily, Sebastian pushed herself onto an elbow and rubbed sleep from her eyes, watching Hayley tug her boots off and toss them to the corner.

When had Hayley left? Sebastian fell asleep in her arms and woke to her returning to the room. At what point did Hayley manage to leave?

Sighing, Hayley slouched, rested her elbows on her knees, and rubbed her face. Her muscles were tense under the strained back of the jacket she wore. Sebastian urged to rub them, soothe them beneath her fingers and listen to Hayley's groans.

And she saw no point in holding back the urge. Hayley needed the massage to loosen the muscles after the fight she took part in. She vaguely remembered the events of King Ferdinand's visit. How long it had been, she wasn't sure. Hayley had fought for her, though. Put her life on the line and was injured. She could see the outline of the bandage through the new jacket.

She had even managed to change without waking her.

Quietly, Sebastian wiggled out of the comforter and crawled to Hayley, the cool air brushing her nude body. Hayley took no notice of Sebastian's movements. This lack of attention was odd to Sebastian. In her time of knowing her, Hayley had always been alert, aware of her surroundings. She could shoot a person accurately without looking at them. Her senses were consistently alive. For her not to notice Sebastian moving across the mattress, she had to be distracted by other, heavier, thoughts.

Sebastian could at least try to ease the tension. A massage would relieve a great deal of it, perhaps some sleep or some more physical activity before sleep would help too. After her own behavior over Hayley's injury, Sebastian needed a little physical activity.

Sebastian placed her hands lightly on Hayley's shoulders. Surprised, Hayley jumped, her back straightening, her head leaving her hands. She didn't recover quickly, caught off guard by the princess' waking, her exhaustion causing her recovery time to slow. Sebastian pressed herself against Hayley's back, mouth near her ear.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian murmured, squeezing Hayley's shoulders.

"You should be asleep," Hayley mumbled, words sluggish.

"You left."

Hayley chuckled, the sound lacking energy, deep with exhaustion. "You didn't notice till just now."

"Because I was actually sleeping, something you should have been doing."

A smile sluggishly stretched on Hayley's face. She turned her head to face the princess. Their noses tapped each other, mouths almost touching. Hayley didn't jump back or shy away from the intimacy in her exhaustion but stared into Sebastian's eyes, the green flecks on the hazel background mesmerizing her.

Her episode earlier had blown over with sleep. Even until sleep, she held her hand against Hayley's wound, rambling predictions of Hayley's impending death. The sight had been heartbreaking, knowing Sebastian had been hurt so deeply by her youngest sibling's death. She hadn't wanted to leave the princess alone, but she had to.

There were things that had to be taken care of, though Hayley's heart and mind hadn’t totally been focused on what needed to be dealt with. All she could think about was Sebastian, her lover, her princess, alone in their bedroom.

Hayley closed the small distance between their lips. Sebastian's lips were soft against hers, calming and reassuring. Each of Hayley's firm movements were met, the submissive behavior she had come to enjoy filling the younger female's actions. She broke the kiss, not allowing herself to lose control of her actions. Her face remained close to the princess', the tips of their noses brushing. A smile tugged on the corners of Sebastian's lips.

"So where did you go?" Sebastian asked.

"To take care of some things. How are you feeling?"

The answer hardly addressed the question, only raised more in Sebastian's mind. But she wouldn't point out the indistinct information. Hayley would tell her later. Whatever it was, it was what was causing Hayley's odd behavior. She had to tell Sebastian at some point.

"I'm fine. About my behavior..." Sebastian faltered.

"This morning," Hayley filled in the break.

Apparently, a full day hadn't passed. She had slept quite soundly for the whole day.

"Right, this morning," Sebastian said, "I'm sorry about how I acted. I don't know what came over me."

A lie. She knew to some extent why she reacted the way she did. She was pretty sure where the irrational fear stemmed from. Losing Hayley the same way as her sibling would have devastated her. Losing her brother was supposed to be a lesson to her. She knew how to spot an infection, how to treat one. She had learned against her father's initial wishes. If an infection would have spring from the wound, Sebastian would have been able to help, should have been able to save Hayley.

It was in her sleep that she realized why she had reacted so strongly.

"Don't worry about it. I understand how deeply past events can affect the mind."

She tortured people. Of course she understood the human mind. Fears and memories were a great start to an effective torture technique or device.

"I feel like I overreacted."

"You didn't."

If she was that worried, it wasn't overreacting.

"No, I did."

"Sweetheart, you were hurt by someone's death or an infection threatening a loved one's life. That can be extremely traumatic. It's fine."

"No, it's not."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Focusing on Sebastian's fears would be a good way to distract Hayley from the thoughts swirling around her head.

Sebastian sighed, taking her hands from Hayley's shoulder and pushing herself to sit next to the captain. Hands in her lap, she stared into Hayley's eyes. Sadness coated them, replacing the torrent of desire.

"My brother, the youngest twin, he." Sebastian stopped, swallowing visibly.

"We don't have to talk about this."

"No." Sebastian shook her head. "No, I want you to know." She took a breath and ran a hand through her blond hair. "He was shot by an enemy of the throne, some man who was caught within days of the attack."

"Where were your guards?"

"On that day? Not there. The two that were supposed to be protecting us while we walked through the town square were involved in the plot. The royal children were to be assassinated first, then the king."

"Wow."

Sebastian shrugged, dainty as always. "It happens. They were jailed and executed."

"Your brother was shot and all you can is 'it happens?'"

Sobs seemed to be a more suitable response. The princess had broken down in Hayley's company before, had been very open about her sadness. For her to appear not to care that an assassination plot killed her sibling was strange.

But had she been allowed to express emotion over it before? She had been training with her youngest sibling in the arts of ruling. Emotional rulers were not the strongest. Her father probably wouldn't allow her to mourn her brother's death. She had been emotional from the moment she stepped foot on the ship, but she had seen her country burn and her father murdered. She didn't have anything then. Heir or not, she had no reason to hold back her tears.

"The bullet only grazed his shoulder. It left a nasty wound and tore his coat sleeve, but it didn't kill him."

"What did kill him?"

Hayley didn't need to ask to know. The infection babble was enough to complete the puzzle. But this was Sebastian's story, and she would aloe her to tell it.

"The doctor stitched the area the bullet tore, advised bed rest, and gave him medications. My brother listened. For awhile."

"What happened?"

If he had been treated and followed doctor's orders for long enough, he wouldn't have gotten an infection.

"He didn't want to stay bedridden. It was just a wound on his shoulder, he saw no point in that. He humored the doctor for a few days, and we had lessons in his chamber. And then it was time to practice horseback riding. He didn't want to miss out or hold us back, so he decided his time in bed was up. Father didn't fight him on his decision. He was a growing boy, supposed to be the next heir before me. He needed to be able to make his own decisions."

And it clicked in Hayley's head.

"He got an infection from the horse stalls," Hayley mumbled.

Hardly uncommon. Animal housings were never fully sanitary, regardless of how well they were taken care of. Far too unsanitary for someone with an open wound to enter. Bandaged or not, any number of bugs and bacteria could have wiggled their way under his bandage.

Sebastian nodded. "His wound started to look disgusting, and he got sick. The doctor tried to treat him but nothing worked. My brother died from an infection. Slowly, painfully. And I had to watch."

"I'm so sorry," Hayley mumbled, wrapping an arm around Sebastian's shoulders and pulling her close. "You must have been devastated."

"I was, but I hadn't allowed proper mourning time. Apparently, his death hurt me more than I realized."

"You never need to apologize for your behavior." Hayley kissed her forehead. "And please don't hold back your emotions."

"Thank you." Sebastian stared into Hayley's eyes, expectant. "Your turn."

"My turn?"

"Why are you upset?"

"Oh." Hayley played with Sebastian's hair. "King Ferdinand is secured in the cellar. He'll be on the cusp of life and death for awhile."

"That's great, right?"

She thought it was a pretty good thing. Hayley was alive, King Ferdinand would die, and they would be able to live together without fear. Why would that upset Hayley?

"Yeah."

Sebastian caught the distracted tone in Hayley's voice. "Are you feeling bad about torturing him?"

Snorting, Hayley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. That bastard deserves everything I'm going to do to him."

"Then why are you upset?"

Hayley's arm fell from Sebastian's shoulder, her fingers no longer twisting her hair but fiddling with each other in her lap. "Now that King Ferdinand is no longer a threat, you're free to leave."

"Pardon me?"

Hayley wanted her to leave? Why the hell would she want that? Didn't Hayley love her?

"You're not in danger anymore. You can leave. I can get you a house, find you a job or a husband or what ever it is you need. When you're financially stable, you can be rid of me. I'll—"

"I'm not leaving."

Hayley snapped her head to face the princess, eyebrows drawn. "What? This is what you've wanted since I kidnapped you."

"I did, but not anymore. Don't you understand why I freaked out so much over your wound earlier?"

"Because you—"

"Because I love you," Sebastian blurted. "I don't want to lose you to anything. God, Hayley, I love you so much it hurts."

Shocked, Hayley's mouth parted. Words caught in her throat, thoughts jumbling in her head. "I, uh, I didn't know that."

"Well, you do now."

Silence. The pirate glanced around the room, the one Sebastian had made herself comfortable in during her stay, the one where they gave themselves to each other. Her eyes landed on Sebastian, whose eyes smoldered with the passion Hayley thought she had misread days ago.

"I do, too." Hayley shook her head, mentally chiding herself for the ridiculous comment. "I mean, I love you, too. I would be devastated if you left."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Clumsy excitement rushed through Hayley's veins. Sebastian loved her. She loved her. Loved her. Love.

Hayley pushed her lips to Sebastian's, a kiss about as clumsy as her excitement. But Sebastian didn't mind, kissing back with a ferocity she felt in Hayley's movements. Hands shaking, Hayley gripped Sebastian's waist and pulled her into her lap, their lips never breaking. Sebastian's hands tangled in Hayley's hair, her body pressed to the pirate's. Panting, Hayley pulled away. Before she spoke, she allowed her lungs to calm themselves.

"You should take a hot bath to relax after what you saw," Hayley mumbled.

"Are you going to help me?"

"I can't. I need to make sure the king is secured before I allow my men to rest in the spare bedrooms."

Something she should have done before checking on the princess.

"Okay. I think I can manage a quick bath on my own."

"Take your time. I want you to be relaxed and ready when I get back."