Mess of Fading Lines

I groaned, the hangover already pounding my head. I shifted my head and buried my face in a cotton pillow, the sunlight pouring in disturbingly bright only egging on my headache. I extended my arms out and hit the headboard moaning again, I finally lifted my head up before decided it was too heavy and plopped it back down into the pillow. All I have to do is get up and figure out where I am. I lifted my head up and saw a sea of white sheets all around me. I moved my legs back and forth and realized that it was too smooth all over my legs.

"What the fuck?" I whisper to myself, panicking a little bit and I flip over on my back, spitting a piece of my black hair out of my mouth. I sighed lifting up the sheet and seeing my tanned body completely naked. I threw my head back on the pillow and groaned wondering. How did I do this to myself again? I always do this to myself.

I saw a guitar in the corner and looked around for picture frames. I bit my lip pulling the sheet to cover me as I pulled myself up and looked for my clothes. I found my bra on a desk and I put it on quickly, along with my underwear that I found on the floor. I walked with my bare feet on the clothes covered floor, I noted they were all boys clothes and I hit my head trying to physically extract the memories from my mind.

I grabbed my navy blue minidress which was flung over a desk and slid it on over, realizing just how tight the fabric clung to my curves. I did catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I sighed noting my circles under my eyes evident from a late night and I finally found my heels in the corner of the room, neatly placed next to each other. I rubbed my forehead, the harsh contact feeling good on my skin. I debated what to do, should I call someone, sneak out or what?

Then I realized I should probably find my purse, I found it on the floor throw carelessly in a corner. I grabbed it and cursed to myself, while slipping on my shoes. I walked out into the unknown house, I looked around and decided I didn't even want to know where I was. I walked around and realized the house was empty and after seeing a note on the messy kitchen counter that read

"Babe, thanks for last night, let's get food sometime, -Brad"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head completely disappointed with myself. I slept with someone who called strange girls babe. I sighed wondering who would leave a stranger alone in their house. Maybe I should take something just to teach him a lesson, but burglary wasn't something I was willing to go down for. Finally unaware of what to do I grabbed my phone and dialed our home number, waiting patiently while the phone line.

"Hello?" A man's voice answered. This caught me off guard and I looked at the phone to make sure I called the right number. This was the strangest day of my entire life "Hello?!" the person kept asking, I immediately recognized the voice and grew even more confused.

"John?! What are you doing at my house?" I asked, forgetting the situation I was in myself. He scoffed before I hoisted my purse on my shoulder and felt my bare feet on the cream carpet, I cursed at myself before hunting around for the silver stud earrings I remembered I wore to the party yesterday.

"It's the rehearsal brunch, you know since the wedding is tomorrow?" He spoke in a condescending tone. I cursed at myself again wondering why I had even gone out last night. "Lily is freaking out wondering where you are, we're going to the church in like an hour," John sighed, I could hear people talking in the background.

"Well, I'm not 100 percent sure where I am," I spoke slowly as I made my way back to the bedroom, kicking clothes around to search for my earrings. "Aha!" I exclaimed finding one right next to the bed and slipped it into my pocket. "Can you put Lily on the phone I need a ride?" I asked trying to sound as sweet as possible.

"Nope," John said popping the 'P', I growled under my breath wondering what right he had to be such a dick to me. I hadn't spoken to John since I saw him in the restaurant, no explanations, no goodbyes. We had resorted to barely speaking and being assholes to each other. So in other words, John was not picking me up and his dick attitude wasn't helping my morning.

"What do you mean no?" I asked as I leaned to check under the bed for my other earring, seeing a stack of porn magazines and nothing else. I was on the verge of crying, simply feeling disgusted with myself.

"No, she's with her mom shopping for last minute accessories or something like that, she won't be back for another thirty minutes I think," He said harshly. I narrowed my eyes as if he could see them.

"Then could you give the phone to someone who could give me a ride?" I asked losing patience with him and it was apparent in my voice. I finally gave up on my other other remembering they were three dollars on sale from some hippie on the side of the road. I placed my earring on the counter next to Brad's note.

"Everyone is super busy, where are you?" He said, I heard the background noise dissipate and assumed he had gone into another room. I really hoped it wasn't mine since it was a colossal mess. Not that I cared what he thought- at all, then it dawned on me if he came to get me he would have more license to treat me like shit, that was not gonna fly with me at all.

"Anyone else who can pick me up?" I asked digging through my wallet and realizing I had enough for a cab, but I really didn't want to spend money. John sighed loudly trying to make me feel guilty for dragging my feet, what a freaking jackass.

"No, so either you can tell me where you are or you can walk back or whatever I don't really care," John escalated the sterness in his voice and I sighed finally giving into this less-than-perfect option. I groaned and made my way out into the living room again and unlocked the front door. What Brad the jackass locked the door, but didn't wake me up to get me out of the house first.

"Hold on, lemme see the address," I said before making my way to the curb and saw the address number while John laughed starting to understand what was happening. "It's 1431 Sunset Drive," I said checking the mailbox and finding a letter that had the whole address on it.

"Alright I know where that is, I'll be there in like seven minutes," He chuckled still greatly amused with the whole situation. I bit my tongue from telling him to fuck off and calling a cab, but luckily I hung up before saying any off it. The sun was obnoxiously bright so I slipped my aviators on before plopping down on the curb. Why was I dumb enough to get into this situation. I hit my forehead before resting my heavy head on it.

I checked my phone realizing it was already 11:45, Lily was going to murder me, like full on murder me. I sighed crossing my legs and returning the stares of people staring at me as they drove past. This was without a doubt my worst walk/wait of shame I'd ever experienced. It was easier my freshman year sneaking out of a frat house and walking back to my dorm and less embarrassing.

I heard a car horn honk obnoxiously at me, startling me and looked up to see it was John, Kennedy and Tim, all piled into his black sedan. I glared at them as I stood up and they pulled up next to me. I picked up my heels I had set down next to me and flipped my hair pouring into my face.

"How much?" John asked, with a malicious smile on his lips. I shot him a glare too tired and unwilling to deal with this after the night I had, which judging from the soreness in my thighs was a good night. I opened the back door and slid next to Tim as he grinned brightly at me.

"So someone had a good night," Tim laughed, I could tell he was messing around with me, but I wasn't in a very jesting mood. I crossed my legs and pulled my hair up into a messy bun before Tim let out a chortle. "You definitely had an excellent night," He said nodding towards my neck. I gave him a curious look before hoisting myself up to see my reflection in the rearview mirror and surprised to see two really dark hickeys on my neck and my collar bone.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I exclaimed angrily before ripping my hair out of it's bun. I buried my face into my hands trying not to either scream to get all the anger out of me or simply cry. "God, I'm so, ugh," I sighed not even able to find a word for how exactly I felt right now.

"Relax Holden, no judgement, we've all definitely had these mornings," Kennedy spoke kindly turning to face me. I peeked up to see John glancing back in the rearview mirror with mysterious eyes, which did not make me feel better in the least.

"So all I'd like to know was what was his name and did you have fun? Because if you had fun then it was all worth it," Tim grinned with sympathetic eyes. I suppose he had to keep joking around to make this an awkward situation. I sank into the seat and took a deep breath.

"I don't even remember anything," I spoke softly as we pulled into the driveway where indeed there were cars overflowing into the street. I groaned as no one said anything after that. "Please don't tell anyone, I mean Lily will find out eventually, but just please," I asked with sadness pouring into my voice as John turned off the car. Everyone nodded in agreement before unbuckling their seatbelt and exiting the car. As I got out I felt a soreness in my lower back and cursed under my breath wondering what I had gotten myself into.

When I entered the house I made my way straight to my bedroom, locking the door behind me before I collapsed on my bed letting tears pour out. The fact I was in physical pain and had a shame cloud hanging over my head was too much to keep in. I tried to catch my breath as the sobs came out. I heard a knock on the door and sucked in a giant breath, "Who is it?" I called out before they knocked again. I sighed wiping my eyes before I saw John standing awkwardly, his hands on his pockets. "What do you want?" I asked wiping my nose hoping he couldn't tell I had been crying. Who was I kidding though, it wasn't exactly subtle.

"I just wanted to apologize," He said genuinely before kissing my forehead and turning to walk away. I stared at him speechless until he was out of sight, lost in the crowd of people. I closed the door and locked it again, taking another deep breath and trekking off to the shower to wash everything off my body. I tried to get John's words out of my mind, but they plagued my mind. I had numerous questions running through my mind that only John could answer, like what he was apologizing for. I was pretty much screwed.