Mess of Fading Lines

After the ceremony, which I couldn't help but shed a few tears at, I linked elbows with Trey as wedding party made there way out. I did my best not to trip on the long trim of the purple halter dress, the organza moved gracefully behind me with every step. I kept my hands wrapped tightly around the white daisies in my hand, I smiled at Lucy who seemed so happy running with Garrett into the little yellow car and drove off to the reception while the rest of us piled into a black tahoe.

"Shotgun!" I called out and ran to the front seat getting a couple of laughs, before looking over at my shoulder to see one person smiling serenely at me all I could do was hide the fact my heart was fluttering and close the door behind me. "So did anyone else shed a few tears?" I laughed turning to see Roxie and Halvo lacing fingers and her whispering in each other's ears.

"Oh my goodness, yes. It was awesome I cannot wait to get married," Roxie gushed excitedly in a dark pink version of the same dress I was wearing. She flipped her curled hair over her shoulder before leaning forward as the valet started driving.

"Uh, honey, there's nothing wrong with waiting a while or like ten years," Halvo chuckled nervously before she shot a look at him. I let out a huge laugh and crossed my legs careful not to mess up the beachy up-do the hairstylist had made this morning. All I can say is thank god for concealer.

"Eric Havlorsen, if you make me wait ten years and all there's going to be is a funeral," She joked, her face completely dead panned. While his bright eyes got wide in realizing what the threat really meant and let out a short exhale.

"You're in trouble," I sang before we stopped harshly sending me forward only to have the seatbelt roughly catch me. I looked up at the older gruff driver who was clearly annoyed that this was his saturday, but as the sun began fading past the horizon painting the skies with pinks, oranges and purples and I held my tongue captivated by the beauty of it.

"Hey Lucy, it's open bar right?" John called out quickening his pace, towards the country club's outdoor reception patio complete with bar and poor. Garrett came here yesterday to string up lights making it look like something out of a story book. Lucy looked amazing sitting down at the wedding party table her blond hair styled up in beachy waves. Her dress seemed almost liquid as she stood up to thank the DJ and get a bottle of wine for all of us.

Soon people began pouring in and I saw Lucy's dad running up to give him a tight hug, I knew it was probably hard for him being around Lillian since, you know, she was a huge bitch. "Well, well, well, Holden Kearny, look at you! You look beautiful, where's your daddy at?" He asked looking around.

"Flew in this morning, I couldn't pick him since I was getting gussied up. I should find him, I haven't seen him since I came down here," I said scanning the crowd before seeing a familiar six foot four man sitting down in a chair that seemed too small talking next to a young man about my age.

"Please don't tell me that's my little girl, ugh, where did the years go?" His deep voice boomed and his laugh seemed to fill up the room. It brought all my childhood memories rushing in with his big goofy smile and voice echoing through the room.

"Hey daddy," I smiled before hugging him tightly and felt his long arms squeeze me tightly. Once we parted I turned towards Mr. Brighton and smiled, "Do you remember this guy?" I laughed nudging my father lightly.

"Conrad! How are you?" He chuckled before they hugged each other too, they had met as roommates their freshman year at UConn then stayed friends through girlfriends, enlistments, discharges, weddings, children, careers and divorce. They had an unspoken bond even that Lucy and Holden picked up in their footsteps.

"Henry! God, feeling old and plugging on," My dad laughed before smiling and a small sadness came into his eyes, like a flash then it was gone. I realized that it had been almost three years since my mother had passed away. He had been with one girl his whole life and now he was alone, it would drain anyone.

"You're telling me you feel old, that's my little girl over there starting her life with a boy with your little girl is the maid of honor. Good thing is that some things never change," He chuckled before offering my father a cigar and I rolled my eye figuring men would be men.

I sat at the open bar after we all made our speeches and took advantage of the fact it was free and the bartender wasn't asking for IDs, I held my hand on the condensating glass. I stared at the ice melting in the jack and coke, a lime wedge squished to top it all off. I was so happy for Lucy, but questions kept popping up in my mind like where she was going to live and what they were going to do, what I was going to do without my best friend down the hall from me.

"Hey, you seem troubled? I don't know if that's the right word," A guy came up to me with a beer bottle in one hand, the other in his black slack's pockets. I smiled sizing him up while I figured out if I wanted to turn him down or continue the conversation. He had bright blue eyes that looked familiar with shaggy brown hair and a slight hunch.

"I don't know if that's the right word either," I laughed taking a sip of my drink before giving him my smirk. "I'm Holden Kearny, bride's side," I added slightly awkwardly. I don't know why I was suddenly acting like a love-struck school girl, but it was a nice change of pace to the games I'd been playing for the past few years.

"Derek Nickelsen, groom's side," He laughed before taking a seat at the stool next to me. That's why his eyes seemed so familiar, Garrett and Trey had similar ones. He cleared his throat while we smiled dumbly for a while, "Can I buy you a drink?" He asked nodding towards the bartender.

"Well, it's an open bar so I think you could do that," I laughed dropping my face a little bit. Derek and I talked until the reception came for to an end, we danced a couple of times and talked to Lucy and Garrett gathered round the edge of the patio and had a couple of cold ones.

"It's late I should get going," Derek said sighing before smiling at me, "mind walking me to my car?" I let out a laugh as Lucy nudged me and Garrett winked. I rolled my eyes awkwardly as I followed him to the edge of the parking lot. "So, I hope I'm not being too forward, but I was wondering if I could get your number and maybe call you sometime?" He asked scratching the back of his head nervously.

"I was hoping you would ask," I smiled taking out a napkin from my bra with my name and number already written on it with red sharpie and put it into his hand. He let out a shy laugh and I couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up.

"It was great talking to you, I can't wait to see you again," He smiled before kissing my cheek and turning towards the car. He turned around once again and I gave him a small wave before I couldn't see him any more.

"Oh my goodness," I whispered with a giant smile on my face, the flutter in my stomach. I placed my hand on my chest and I felt my heart racing out of control. I had never felt this way before, never. I turned and saw a lanky shadow standing there leaning against the wall I nearly had a heart attack and repeated the same words in a whole different context.

"You look happy," His raspy voice cutting into the silence, I looked around the corner and saw that our group of friends were the only ones left at the reception. I smiled and turned towards the parking lot. "I just want you to know I'm sorry for everything, for how we met and Lucy told me about the restaurant thing. I mean we weren't ever really official, so you know?"

"You don't have to apologize, I was dumb for thinking that we were something we weren't. I can't be mad at you for wanting to see other people, that's just how you know we weren't meant to be- as dumb as that sounds," I laughed slightly.

"You didn't deserve that though, you're a good girl, the right kind of girl for any guy. Just so you know I hope you know if we could do it all over again, change everything- I would," He spoke humbly and I smiled bringing him into a hug, feeling the familiar speeding heart.

"If we were different people at a different time, maybe it would've worked out differently," I spoke with a smile on my face. I chose my words carefully taking one last glance at the guy who had captivated me for the last couple of weeks.

"If only right? But you're a cool girl, I hope we can still hang out even though I'm a jackass?" He let out a slight laugh, he dug his hands into his pockets and smiled at me, I nodded because frankly John and I would make a good pair of friends, just friends. "How about one last bang before we go our separate ways?" He winked at me before I let out a laugh shaking my head. I brought my lips to his cheek and took a breath smelling the familiar musk and warmth coming from him.

"I'll see you around John," I smiled before re-joining the few stragglers to say goodbye and then made my way to the cab waiting for me by the curb. I saw John lighting up a cigarette and gave him a small wave. Not fully knowing if I was making the right decision in leaving John in the past, but for now it felt right.