Status: permanent hiatus - sorry
Benji
005; hidden in the dark.
A week later and Benji was at our house. It wasn’t surprising, seeing as he’d been over almost every day since I’d met him. Telling myself I wasn’t avoiding him, as usual, I ran upstairs and secluded myself in my room. I turned my computer on, pulling up iTunes and playing some music softly in the background. I lay on my bed and promptly fell asleep.
When I woke up, I could hear Kyle and Benji laughing downstairs. I know that they’re just friends, and that my brother is completely straight, but some irrational part of me managed to get insanely jealous of Kyle.
With the pretence of needing a drink, I left my room. I found my brother and his friend in the kitchen, icing cupcakes. Rolling my eyes, I filled a glass with water and leant against the bench, observing.
Benji glanced at me and I looked away – I wasn’t avoiding his gaze, I told myself, it’s just that it’s hard to drink and look at someone at the same time.
Suddenly he was in front of me, his cheeks tinged pink and a cupcake in his outstretched hand.
“Would you like one?” He asked me, looking up through his fringe and biting his lip shyly.
I flashed him a grin and took the offered food item, noting the many pink hearts it had been decorated with. “Thanks,” I told Benji, ignoring Kyle rolling his eyes behind him. I bit into it, feeling slightly self-conscious as Benji watched. I moaned under my breath; “This is one good cupcake.” Benji beamed, his eyes lighting up.
“Benji, stop flirting with my brother and come on,” Kyle said, laughing as he took the tray of finished cupcakes into the living-room with him. “I want to watch this movie.”
The small blond boy in front of me whirled to face Kyle, sputtering about how he wasn’t flirting with me, before following him. He turned to glance at me, his cheeks bright pink; I couldn’t help it, I winked at him, causing him to redden even further.
“Kyle,” I heard him whining from the next room, “your brother’s kind of a douche.”
I waited until they’d settled down to watch their movie before shuffling in. They’d closed the curtains and each had a couch and a blanket to themselves. Nothing scary had happened – the movie had barely been on for fifteen minutes – and yet Benji was curled up in the corner and jumped slightly when I sat next to him.
“Hey,” I smirked, shifting closer so I could steal some of his blanket.
He smiled briefly at me, his attention on the TV screen. After five minutes of me watching him and him watching the movie, I spoke.
“So, you think I’m a douche?” I whispered in a teasing tone, moving closer so I wouldn’t have to speak so loud. One of Kyle’s pet peeves was people talking during movies.
Benji shook his head quickly, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. “I think you’re cool,” he finally whispered.
I tried to keep the grin off of my face, eventually having to hide it by fake-yawning. Sure, I didn’t really know the kid, he was my brother’s friend, and I was convincing myself that he was straight, but a guy’s allowed to have a crush, right?
My fake yawn turned into a real one and I soon found myself dozing off.
*
I was startled awake by something clutching onto my arm. Blearily, I looked around the dark room, spotting Benji huddled next to me. He was cowering behind the blanket but kept peering out every two seconds. My gaze fell to my arm, where I saw Benji’s small hand wrapped around my forearm.
“Scared?” I whispered to him, moving even closer so that our thighs were touching.
He looked up at me, eyes wide with fear, and shook his head.
I chuckled. “No, of course not.”
At that moment there was a shriek on the movie and Benji practically threw himself into my lap, burying his face in my shirt. I felt him say something but his voice was muffled by my shirt. When I asked him to repeat it he shifted so that I could hear him.
“I hate scary movies,” he muttered.
My breath sharpened when Benji’s hand inadvertently rested on my crotch. I swallowed the lump in my throat, ignoring the pressure his hand created.
“Uh, Benji?” I asked nervously.
He looked up at me, frowning when he saw the expression on my face. “What?”
“Uh, your hand’s kind of on my, uhm...”
He gasped, immediately removing his hand and moving away. “Oh my gosh,” he muttered, looking decidedly embarrassed.
I chuckled, shifting and subtly adjusting my pants – a boner was the last thing I needed right now, and I’m sure Benji wouldn’t appreciate it either. I glanced at him, noting how he now sat so far away from me, watching as his fingers picked at a loose thread on the blanket.
He was embarrassed, I knew that. I was also sure that he was straight, and most definitely not interested in me. Sighing almost defeatedly, I left the room.
I needed to stop trying to hang around Benji. He was my brother’s friend and I was just being intrusive when I was around them. No matter how cute Benji was, he wasn’t gay (or interested in me), and that’s what mattered.
When I woke up, I could hear Kyle and Benji laughing downstairs. I know that they’re just friends, and that my brother is completely straight, but some irrational part of me managed to get insanely jealous of Kyle.
With the pretence of needing a drink, I left my room. I found my brother and his friend in the kitchen, icing cupcakes. Rolling my eyes, I filled a glass with water and leant against the bench, observing.
Benji glanced at me and I looked away – I wasn’t avoiding his gaze, I told myself, it’s just that it’s hard to drink and look at someone at the same time.
Suddenly he was in front of me, his cheeks tinged pink and a cupcake in his outstretched hand.
“Would you like one?” He asked me, looking up through his fringe and biting his lip shyly.
I flashed him a grin and took the offered food item, noting the many pink hearts it had been decorated with. “Thanks,” I told Benji, ignoring Kyle rolling his eyes behind him. I bit into it, feeling slightly self-conscious as Benji watched. I moaned under my breath; “This is one good cupcake.” Benji beamed, his eyes lighting up.
“Benji, stop flirting with my brother and come on,” Kyle said, laughing as he took the tray of finished cupcakes into the living-room with him. “I want to watch this movie.”
The small blond boy in front of me whirled to face Kyle, sputtering about how he wasn’t flirting with me, before following him. He turned to glance at me, his cheeks bright pink; I couldn’t help it, I winked at him, causing him to redden even further.
“Kyle,” I heard him whining from the next room, “your brother’s kind of a douche.”
I waited until they’d settled down to watch their movie before shuffling in. They’d closed the curtains and each had a couch and a blanket to themselves. Nothing scary had happened – the movie had barely been on for fifteen minutes – and yet Benji was curled up in the corner and jumped slightly when I sat next to him.
“Hey,” I smirked, shifting closer so I could steal some of his blanket.
He smiled briefly at me, his attention on the TV screen. After five minutes of me watching him and him watching the movie, I spoke.
“So, you think I’m a douche?” I whispered in a teasing tone, moving closer so I wouldn’t have to speak so loud. One of Kyle’s pet peeves was people talking during movies.
Benji shook his head quickly, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. “I think you’re cool,” he finally whispered.
I tried to keep the grin off of my face, eventually having to hide it by fake-yawning. Sure, I didn’t really know the kid, he was my brother’s friend, and I was convincing myself that he was straight, but a guy’s allowed to have a crush, right?
My fake yawn turned into a real one and I soon found myself dozing off.
*
I was startled awake by something clutching onto my arm. Blearily, I looked around the dark room, spotting Benji huddled next to me. He was cowering behind the blanket but kept peering out every two seconds. My gaze fell to my arm, where I saw Benji’s small hand wrapped around my forearm.
“Scared?” I whispered to him, moving even closer so that our thighs were touching.
He looked up at me, eyes wide with fear, and shook his head.
I chuckled. “No, of course not.”
At that moment there was a shriek on the movie and Benji practically threw himself into my lap, burying his face in my shirt. I felt him say something but his voice was muffled by my shirt. When I asked him to repeat it he shifted so that I could hear him.
“I hate scary movies,” he muttered.
My breath sharpened when Benji’s hand inadvertently rested on my crotch. I swallowed the lump in my throat, ignoring the pressure his hand created.
“Uh, Benji?” I asked nervously.
He looked up at me, frowning when he saw the expression on my face. “What?”
“Uh, your hand’s kind of on my, uhm...”
He gasped, immediately removing his hand and moving away. “Oh my gosh,” he muttered, looking decidedly embarrassed.
I chuckled, shifting and subtly adjusting my pants – a boner was the last thing I needed right now, and I’m sure Benji wouldn’t appreciate it either. I glanced at him, noting how he now sat so far away from me, watching as his fingers picked at a loose thread on the blanket.
He was embarrassed, I knew that. I was also sure that he was straight, and most definitely not interested in me. Sighing almost defeatedly, I left the room.
I needed to stop trying to hang around Benji. He was my brother’s friend and I was just being intrusive when I was around them. No matter how cute Benji was, he wasn’t gay (or interested in me), and that’s what mattered.