Stalking Charlie

I bought new binoculars. I know I don't really need them, since Charlie lives next door to me and all. Her room's not exactly right across from my room's window, but it's the next one over. I could easily see what she's up to if I crouched real close to the far edge of my window, but that gives me only a sliver of the interior of her room. It's not exactly the best situation in the house, but it will do for now. I'll have to see about switching rooms with my dad since that's the one right across from hers. I've got the bigger one (thanks to my superior whining and bitching skills used the day we moved here) so I'm sure he'll be more than happy to turn it over with minimal amounts of grumbling.

Anyways. I bought these binoculars from the dollar store. I'm no rich cat, and as long as they work I don't care how cheap and plastic they are. I won't have to see far anyways. I also got this cool little spy kit from the kid's toy section in Target the other day. It's got one of those things where you stick the cone end on the wall and you can hear everything on the other side through the earphones. There's a small magnifying glass (good for roasting bugs) and cool looking shades too. I think I did well in spending my five bucks on such merchandise.

My plan for today is as follows:

1. Operation: Ant Hill.
Attempt to set fire to the ant hill outside my home.

The ants have been getting rather brave lately, crawling into my home and infesting the corners of our kitchen. This is my top priority - code blue - the menaces must be stopped, even if I have to dig for their queen and set her on fire myself. If the magnifying glass doesn't work, then the box of matches I've saved for such an occasion will certainly do the trick.

2. Night Ops
Stakeout with the...cake out.

I've got my binoculars. I've got my Ipod. My laptop and my computer desk have been moved to the convenient location in front of my window. I've even bought paint to put camouflage colors all over my face - to reduce the chances of being seen of course.

I'm making cake as we speak and I've located my dad's stash of soda to keep me awake through the night.

This is a special occasion because Charlie's parents aren't home and they won't be until after the fourth. I guess it's a special week for them or something. My dad's decided to take a week long road trip with his newest clown whore Jasmine, so I've got the house to myself as well. My gut tells me that Charlie will probably be having another party, so this will be my second chance to crash it. Either that or I'll get to watch her undress while she isn't looking.

I'll keep updates every hour past six.

6:00 PM

Eating Dinner. I guess I was right. Charlie started accepting a few guests about an hour ago. Just three other girls. I don't know two of them, but one of them is Cindy Hayes. She's some accountant's kid who lives in this huge house on the other side of town. Her mom is supposed to be some hotshot professor at a University who makes stupid amounts of money. (We're talking bank. ) I've no idea what that woman teaches, but it seems to be enough that Cindy arrives at school with dumb designer outfits all the time. She's got red hair, brown eyes, a fat pudgy nose...
She's not all that attractive if you want my opinion.

The other girls are rather pretty, though. One has got long, wavy brown hair and blue eyes. The other looks kind of like Charlie, only her hair is probably naturally blond and she has lots of freckles. She's a lot taller than Charlie too. Hmm.

7:00 PM

Well, it turned out to be a slumber party. They're not doing anything all that interesting. They're taking turns calling people and giggling about it. It's getting dark.

My lame Magikarp finally evolved into a kickass Gyrados a couple minutes ago. I'm laying waste to those damn Oddish that keep popping out of nowhere in the grass.

I hate oddish.

9:00 PM

Sorry, I skipped an hour. I couldn't see them for a while - I think they went into the basement to continue their girlish games. Boring, boring, boring. You'd think someone as hot and popular as Charlie would know how to have a good time. Childish slumber parties like this should be beneath her.

One of the girls went home. Unfortunately it wasn't Cindy.

10:00 PM

They made cookies. Watching a movie downstairs. I moved down into the kitchen for a better view through their back window. I've stopped playing Poke'mon. Moved on to Zelda.

Finished off the last of my cake, feeling jittery after drinking three bottles of Mountain Dew. :/

12:00 AM

Ugh! What a stupid movie. They watched Dear John and literally brought down a box of tissues so they could cry about it. I'll never understand why women like this actually enjoy torturing themselves over movies that only make them feel bad. Honestly. I don't care what they're doing now. I'm taking a nap.

1:45 AM

Ahh, couldn't sleep, but ohmyGOD did I just hit the jackpot.
It's like girl's gone wild in Charlie's bedroom. Slumber party of the year in my book. Can you say pillow fight in pajamas?
Not, not the stupid flannel kind, the kind with a tank top and short shorts. I never thought Dora could look so good, but Charlie definitely pulls it off. Man, I only wish I was in there with them.

Well, minus Cindy. Cindy is actually wearing the long-sleeved flannel kind and her pudgy little tummy hanging out from her too-small shirt is ruining the mood for me. I don't mean to sound like a pig, but -hey...we all have our preferences and fantasies. Cindy's not the type that should be included in either. God, I hate her so much. I'm just waiting for one of the others to whack her off the bed with a pillow, leaving her unconscious.

Well, I'm done blogging for the night. I think I'm going to take this time to enjoy the beauty of two plucky teenage peers.

Kirk out.

-Max