Time Runs Through Our Veins.

Fuck! What did I just do? Oh yeah, I just ruined my friendship with the greatest guy ever. He's gonna hate me forever. I don't blame him.

I grab my jacket and run out the door of the bathroom. I clear the bathroom and keep running. I run out the school, past the park, and through the forest until I finally make it to my backyard. 

I try to sneak through the back door and into my bedroom, but knew I wasn't quiet enough.

"Boy! Do you know what time it is?! Why the fuck are you home and not at school?!" My dad caught me in the living room.

This is the moment I  grow balls, because what I say next could have gotten me killed...literally. 

I walk over so I'm standing close enough to my bedroom to make a break for it. My dad stares me down while swaying back and forth from intoxication.

"I'm home because I can do whatever the fuck I want to. Fuck you, okay? Why are you home? Get off your ass and get a job!" Once I finish, I immediately turn and run to my room. I slam my door, lock it and shove an arm chair against the knob.

I can hear him bang up against my door, saying all kinds of things that, normally, would piss me off, but today I don't give a fuck about him or what he has to say.

I turn on my new playlist, and slump back onto my bed. I strip my shirt and pants and throw them aimlessly. I feel myself starting to become overwhelmed from today's events so I break down and cry. Typical, right? The little gay boy crying alone in his bedroom.

I reach into my nightstand and again pull out the small ring box.

I visit the scars that was just about to close and slice them open. 

But... To make things different from the usual, I grab a bottle if alcohol and pour it over each cut. The pain is unbearable, but it feels good. I grip the sheets on my bed and bite my pillow to keep from screaming. The pain makes my eyes roll into the back of my head. My whole body bucks up and a loud scream escapes my lips. Immediately afterward my whole world turns black.

***
He's all I see. Me and him sitting in a meadow. Oh god, how I adore this boy. He leans over me and kisses me my lips ever-so-softly. He lays me down in the grass and straddles my waist. He allows me to take control and I tumble over making myself on top.

Things change, though. The blue sky turns to a shade of grey. The wind starts to pick up and blows Rylan away from under me, as if he was just a bunch of floating specs. I stood up and watched as this utopian meadow turned into a black box. Just when thought it was over I start to fall. A free fall down to no where.
***

I jump up from my dream-turn-nightmare. Sweat covered my body and my breathing was hard and uneven. I check my clock and it reads 7:20 A.M. How could I sleep through the night as well as I did? How could I sleep for almost 19 hours?

I decided to stay home. Considering what happened yesterday, I don't think Rylan wants to see me.

I stay home until I was able to make it to school just in time for lunch.

Jordan doesn't looks surprised to see me which means he didn't even know I wasnt here.

I go through the shortest line and buy a pizza that I may or may not eat and go join Jordan at our table.

Within 2 minutes of me sitting down Rylan walked up. I freaked out and contemplated whether or not I should just get up and leave. 

"Jeez Rylan, i haven't even eaten yet." Jordan starts to get defensive. I don't understand why though. 

"Yeah, actually i wanted to talk to Nolan." Me? Rylan wants to talk to me?! I thought he hated me.

I turn my body to face his, but I keep my eyes unfocused and distant. 

We slowly walk out to the courtyard where not many people were hanging around.

Rylan grabs my chin and forces my eyes to meet his.

"Nolan, where were you this morning?" He asks softly and sincere.

I guess I can only remain honest. "I thought you'd be mad at me. For yesterday." I put my face down again in shame of how I feel.

He pulls my face back up. "I'm not mad. I'm just a little confused I don't know how I feel about you exactly. I've got a lot on my mind and i don't want to be questioning myself like this. You make me wonder. It's scary."

How could I be so selfish? I made this boy question everything he knows. "I'm sorry." I whisper and again I put my face down.

He pulls my face back up, more gentile than the first two times. "Don't be. Just don't skip art again. I need you."

"You're really not mad?" I ask, hopeful that he says no.

"No. Just let me figure some stuff out. Let me be fair to you. Okay?"

"Yeah, alright." I say smiling and floating back into the building.

I swear I will wait forever for this boy.

It's only a matter if time...