Time Runs Through Our Veins.

Uneasiness clenches my stomach as I hear the whispers around us. I knew I was going to lose respect but I didn't know it would feel like this.

Nolan slides his hand in mine and the worry vanishes. I never really liked these people anyway. Why should I care what they think? I have an amazing boyfriend and an understanding brother that's all I need. Besides...not everyone is whispering...
~*~

The week passes by slowly and me and Nolan are pretty much attached at the hip. I avoid Alex and Olivia like they're the plague. I know for a fact that there pissed. 

Me and Nolan told my mom about us and I promised him that the next time I talk to my dad I'll inform him as well. Mom was pretty supportive. She said she hadn't seen me so happy since I made the varsity baseball team.

Right now we're sitting in the art classroom finishing up that contest entry project. It looks amazing. 

When the bell rings I sling both our bags over my shoulders and grab him around the waist. 

"What're you doing?" He giggles.

"I'm walking you to class. Duh." I move us forward in the most awkward position I've ever been in. Halfway there I'm yanked off my boyfriend. "What the hell?!"

I spin around and come face to face with Alex. Shit. "We need to talk." He says through clenched teeth. 

I nod and hand Nolan his bag. "I'll see you after class, yeah?"

"Yeah." He gives me a weak smile and turns the corner in direction of his classroom.

"What kind of shit are you trying to pull?" Alex demands.

"What are you talking about? Nolan? He's my boyfriend."

"Really? Cause last time I checked, you liked chicks!"

"Look, these are the changes I was talking about earlier. Can you please just try to accept it?"

"Hell no! Just tell me who put you up to it. Was it a bet? I was George wasn't it?" He laughs.

Woah. "No. It's not a bet. It's not a joke. Nolan really is my boyfriend."

"Is this part of it then? You have to make me believe it? Well, I believe it." He says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know, Olivia refuses to talk to you until you admit it's a bet. I don't even know why you took it. Out of all the things you agree to-"

"Shut the fuck up." I growl. What the hell is his problem? He's supposed to be my friend. "Believe what you want. If you think it's a bet then it's a bet but I won't let you make me feel bad about what I want." 

I turn away and walk away from him. When I round the corner I see Nolan standing frozen, tears streaming down his face. "Is it true?" He whispers. "Was it all just a joke? A bet to get cool points?"

"Nolan I-"

"No, Rylan. I can't believe you would do this to me. I actually thought you loved me. How could I be so stupid?" He starts to walk away. I try to grab his arm but he shrugs it off and walks faster.

"Nolan, please!" I jog to catch up with him.

He stops and spins around. "Just stop okay? You've been found out. I don't want to cause you anymore humiliation. It's over. I never want to see you again."

His words tear me apart inside. Nolan walks through the front doors. My legs go weak, leaving me sliding down a row of lockers. 

What just happened? How did I just loose the best thing that's ever happened to me? How could Nolan think of do that to him? I thought he knew me better than that. 

I pull my knees up under my chin and breathe deeply in order to keep the tears from spilling. 

I did this to myself. I shouldn't have moved so fast. I should have come out. Then maybe I'd have the only boy that'd ever make me happy.

Before I know it Jordan is pulling me up. "C'mon Ry. Let's get you home."

"I'm sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. I swear."

"I know, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay. Nolan is gone. He hates me and I don't think he'd ever forgive me.

"For what? You didn't do anything. It was Alex jumping to conclusions and Nolan not hearing you out. None of this  is your fault."

Yeah but still....I feel like I can't breathe. He's my everything and even though it's only been that way for a few days I can't imagine not having him anymore. 

It hurts. Everything hurts.
~*~

 I don't know why they call it a broken heart. Everything feels shattered. The week following the breakup I feel just as bad as I did the day it happened. 

At least think it's been a week. I dont really care to keep up with the days.

I go through the motions of everyday life. Wake up. Shower. Get dressed. Eat. School. Home. Bed. My mind never strays from the boy that holds my heart. What is he doing? What is he thinking? Is he okay?

Did he really mean it when he said he loved me? Does he even care?

None of my questions are answered though. Nolan avoids me at all costs. He sits on the opposite side of the art classroom and doesn't show up for lunch. He won't look at me and when I try to talk to him he ignores me. He doesn't answer my calls or texts and he deleted me on Facebook.

It's like we never really were a 'we' at all. 

Jordan tries to cheer me up but all I do is ask him about Nolan. Is he okay? How's he feeling? Does he need anything?

But Jordan refuses to talk about him. He says I need to find out for myself. He says it's the only way I'll feel better.

However, I can't find out if he won't talk to me. And if he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand. I fucked up.

Nolan has every reason to believe that someone would do this to him, the way he's been treated around school.

I just wish he didn't think that that person was me. 

I want him.

I need him.

He's the only one that could make this better.

It's only a matter of time...