Falling to Pieces

---- // January 2007

Stella paced back and forth across her dorm for what felt like the millionth time. Her roommate had left hours ago, driven completely insane by Stella’s actions. She had been like this since Sunday night when she had received a phone call from one of Jonathan’s teammates.

It was now Tuesday afternoon, and Stella was just as furious now as when she had gotten off the phone originally.

Her Blackberry was pressed firmly against her ear as she paced, counting the rings until it switched over to voicemail. Stella had already left numerous voicemails as well as unanswered texts, so she ended the call without a new voicemail. She was just about to press redial when the door to her dorm opened. Penny Ryerson, one of Stella’s best friends on the Boston soccer team slipped into the dorm cautiously.

“Stel?” She asked quietly.

Stella lowered the phone from her ear to look at her friend as she came further into the room.

“I was just on my way to the gym and thought I’d stop by and see if you were up for going too? You usually go for runs when you’re upset, so…” When she spoke she was quiet and timid, scared of how Stella was going to react to her words.

“Thanks for the offer, I might join you later, but only after he picks up his fucking phone.”

“He hasn’t even talked to you yet?” Penny gasped as Stella shook her head. “That boy has some nerve.”

“Tell me about it.” Stella sat down on the end of her bed, staring down at her phone.

“Well, call me later if you want to meet up. I’ll probably just be at the gym all night.”

“Yeah, if I’m up to it.”

Penny just nodded, heading back towards the door. “Oh, and Stella,”

Stella glanced up briefly from her phone’s blank screen to look at Penny as she stood in the doorway.

“Good luck.”

Stella rolled her eyes as Penny slipped back out of the dorm, immediately dialing the number she had called too many times in the passed couple of days.

As she counted the rings in her head, one hand absentmindedly went to the diamond pendant hanging from her neck. She had yet to take it off since Jonathan had given it to her at Christmas.

On the fourth ring, just before the call switched over to voicemail, Stella was greeted by a grumbled ‘Hello’.

“Lovely to finally hear from you, Jonathan.” She spat, glaring straight ahead at the blank wall across from her.

“Stella, I was going to call you, I promise.”

“Yeah, that was really evident after you ignored all of my texts and voicemails.” She cut him off, her voice so low it came out as almost a growl. Her free hand not propping her phone against her ear balled up into a fist so tight her fingernails began to leave indents in the palm of her hand.

“I just got my phone back today.” Came his weak excuse. His voice was quiet, and he sounded as if he was exhausted.

“Oh, sorry, I wouldn’t know anything about getting my phone confiscated in jail considering I’ve never been arrested.”

“Is there a point to this phone call, Stella?” Jonathan sighed out, trying to keep his own temper under control. “Or are you just calling to make my life even more of a living hell right now? Because I really don’t need this, especially not now.”

Stella decided to get right to the point, slowly getting up from the end of her bed where she had been sitting. As she carefully picked out her words, she paced back and forth throughout her small dorm room. “Just what were you thinking, Jonathan?”

“I don’t know.” The way his voice sounded so monotone signaled to Stella that this was far from the first time he had been questioned on this matter. “I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Damn right, you weren’t thinking!”

“I just got this lecture from my parents, I really don’t need to hear it again from you. Isn’t my girlfriend supposed to be there for me in times like these?”

Even though she knew he couldn’t see her, Stella dramatically rolled her eyes in disbelief. “Even if I wanted to, how could I? You don’t even bother to tell me! I had to find out through one of your teammates!”

“People are all just blowing this out of proportion.”

“It was on the news, Jonathan. Everyone saw it.” Stella froze, her pacing coming to a sudden halt. “Oh God, what if my parents saw?”

“How is this about you in any way?” He finally snapped. Stella flinched at his suddenly raised voice. “Besides, it’s no big deal. Your parents would never find out.”

“No big deal?” She repeated, trying to wrap her mind around the excuse he had given.

“Yeah.”

“You were arrested, Jonathan.”

“I know, Stella.”

“You spent the night in jail.”

“Over a stupid misunderstanding.”

“You were caught underage in a bar with a fake ID. That’s not really a misunderstanding.”

“I’m aware of this, Stella.”

“Then when are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions?” It was Stella’s turn to fully lose her temper now, her voice raising quite a few octaves as she let out her frustrated cry.

“I can’t change what happened, so I don’t really know what you’re expecting from me.”

“I just don’t understand how you could be so stupid.”

Jonathan was quick to cut in, angrily cutting her off. “You don’t know anything about the situation, so don’t fucking judge me, Stella.”

The way Jonathan was suddenly speaking to her stung, but at the moment she was far too angry with her boyfriend to care. “Don’t speak to me like that.”

An aggravated sigh filled her ears, and she could picture Jonathan tugging roughly on his short brown hair out of frustration. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“You can’t just-“

“No, Stella, I can’t deal with you right now.”

“Jonathan-“ She tried to add in, but he was quick to cut her off again.

“Goodbye, Stella.”

“If you hang up this phone, we’re done Jonathan. Done.”

“Whatever.” Came his mumbled reply, before Stella was met by a dial tone.

She quickly pulled her phone away from her ear, glancing at the screen to see the timer of their conversation flashing, signaling that the call had ended. He had actually hung up on her. She carelessly threw the phone onto the bed, unsure of what to do next. The necklace clasped around her neck was next to go, as she roughly pulled on the chain until it came free and she was able to toss the gift to the floor. At this moment she didn’t want anything around her that reminded her of Jonathan, but the countless pictures that she had hung up around her dorm seemed to do just that.

Deciding her outfit of track pants and a tank top seemed suitable for a workout, she slipped on her jacket and quickly left her dorm, not caring as the door slammed shut behind her.

Jonathan had actually hung up on her. She had warned him that hanging up would mean the end of their relationship, and he had hung up anyways. No matter how hard Stella tried she couldn’t wrap her head around the way he had so carelessly thrown away their relationship.

This was a first for her. Stella Thomas had never been dumped. Her relationships always ended when she decided they were over.

Hurrying down the stairs, Stella headed towards the gym her residence had hidden away in the basement of the building. She needed a way to get out her frustration over this stupid Canadian hockey player, and a date with the punching bag sounded like the perfect solution.