Why Didn't I...?

Why Didn’t I...?

“I don’t get it,” Zack complained. “Why the fuck not?”

“I don’t know alright,” Alex argued with him; getting annoyed that Zack was bringing this up again.

“Seriously man, it’s just getting fucking annoying,” Zack continued. “I don’t mean to sound like some whiny little bitch or whatever but, they always just want you and Jack.”

“You don’t sound like a whiny little bitch, you are a whiny little bitch,” Jack told him with a grin on his face; emerging from the bunk area, zipping up the zipper on his Glamour Kills hoodie. “Seriously. Why is it such a big deal? Maybe they just have questions for me and Alex.”

“Jack has a point,” Alex agreed; pulling his beanie on over his ears and adjusting his fringe underneath it.

“Alot of the interviews we do have questions for just us. Sorry man.”

“Maybe its some fan thing?” Jack offered. “Fan questions for us two. Calm down man.”

“Come on!” Zack whined. “Rian. You’re with me aren’t you?”

“Honestly?” Rian replied.

Zack looked at him hopefully; only to frown when Rian shook his head.

“Dude, I don’t give a shit,” he answered. “I’d rather stay here; on the bus, playing Halo or something.”

“Whatever,” Zack gave up; plonking down into his bunk and pulling out his cell. “Have fun at your little interview.”

“Don’t we always?” Alex smirked and grabbed Jack’s hand pulling him to the front of the bus. “We’ll see you guys in a bit.

They made their way down the front steps of the bus; Jack jumping off the last step; onto Alex’s back. Alex laughed and grabbed Jack’s legs shifting his weight so he was comfortable on his back. Jack wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck to hold him in place. Jack rested his head on Alex’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe Zack went off about this interview shit again,” Jack complained.

“I know,” Alex frowned. “I get where he’s coming from though. There has been a lot of interviews where it’s been just us lately.”

“Yeah, but, it’s not like it’s a bad thing right?” Jack asked; sighing.

“Not at all,” Alex shook his head a little. “But I do get why he’s annoyed.”

“But, it’s never bothered him before,” Jack moved slightly; holding Alex’s shoulders now.

“I know,” Alex said; shrugging. “Whatever. He can deal.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed.

The continued walking; Alex’s pace slow so he didn’t drop Jack off his back. Silence consumed them both; only the sound of Alex’s feet on the gravel beneath them and the distant sound of a local band on the stage could be heard.

“Dude, you’re getting heavy,” Alex laughed.

“Oh sorry,” Jack mumbled; letting go of Alex’s neck.

Alex lowered him to the ground carefully. Jack stepped up beside Alex; his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He looked ahead of them; watching Alex and his shadows walk side by side. Jack smiled a little to himself.

“What’s up?” Alex asked; nudging Jack gently in the side.

“Nothing,” Jack shrugged. “Kinda tired I guess.”

“We still got a show to do,” Alex reminded him; resting a hand on the shoulder closest to him. “You gonna be alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” Jack smiled in reassurance at his best friend. “Really. Thanks for the, you know, concern and all that.”

“No problem,” Alex smiled.

“Let’s get this interview over and done with,” Jack sighed. “Maybe I can nap or something before our set.”

They approached the interviewer; a woman. She had long blonde hair, and was dressed in skinny jeans and a long singlet.

“Hey guys,” she smiled politely. “I’m Mary. I’m from Rock Sound Magazine and this is Michael; my camera guy.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mary,” Alex shook her hand and smiled; holding his hand out to her camera guy next. “Michael.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed; shaking their hands also.

“How are you both today?” she asked.

“Pretty good, pretty good,” Alex replied.

“Yeah. Not too bad,” Jack nodded.

“Alright, lets get started shall we?” Mary started and handed both of them microphones. “These are all questions from fans that have been sent in."

“Oh! Alex grinned. “Fan questions. They’re the best kind.”

“You got that right,” Jack agreed; sticking his free hand in his pocket.

“Alrighty then; the first question is from Alexandra Smith,” Mary started.

“Hey Alexandra!” Alex waved into the camera.

“Sup!” Jack grinned.

“She asks, what’s our favourite part of touring?” Mary laughed.

“Um, probably the vibe,” Alex started. “Like, going to a show and feeding off the energy of the kids in the crowd. Like, the screaming and the jumping. It excites me to see them. So, the putting on the best show possible for the fans would probably be my favourite part.”

“Jack?” the interviewer pushed.

“Um,” Jack thought. “Well, like Alex said, the fans for sure. But lately, I guess for me its hanging with my best friends all the time. I mean, of course you have your moments where you get sick of each other but for the most part; hanging with Rian, and Zack. Matt, Vinny and of course this idiot here. It makes everything worthwhile, you know.”

Jack looked over at Alex and Alex smiled warmly at him. He couldn’t help but agree though. Hanging out with Jack all the time; it was a definite positive.

“Cool. So, this questions from Matthew Trager,” Mary read from her paper. “If you had to kick anybody out of the band who would it be and why?”

“This guy. He can’t play guitar for shit,” Jack laughed.

“Dude, great minds,” Alex high fived Jack. “I was gonna say you too.”

They both laughed; Mary joining in.

“Next question,” May continued; breathing to get control of her laughter. Jack’s laugh was just ridiculous. “From, Katie Jackson. What’s the bus smell like?”

“Um,” Alex laughed. “Shit, piss and jizz.”

“I was gonna say, shit, piss and pizza pockets,” Jack told him; grinning. “But, I’ve got to agree.”

“That question was fucking random,” Alex shook his head; adjusting his fringe under his beanie again.

“Funny how we could just pull out an answer so quick though,” Jack agreed.

“Yeah.”

“From, Jeremy Barnes,” the interviewer started; laughing lightly. “What’s the worst part of touring?”

“The piss, shit and pizza pocket smelling bus,” Jack answered immediately. “No just kidding. Um. Probably not having a comfortable place to sleep. I love when we get the chance to sleep in a real bed. I’m tall, so sometimes I get really camped in those shitty little bunks.”

“Don’t hate the bunks man,” Alex laughed. “Probably for me, being away from family yeah? I mean, my band mates and the crew; they’re like family. But I miss hanging with my mum or whatever when I’m out on the road.”

“That’s sweet,” Mary smiled.

“Yeah and corny,” Alex shook his head and waved to the camera again. “Hi mum. If you’re watching.”

“Sup, Mrs Gaskarth,” Jack told the camera; smirking. He winked. “How you doin?”

Alex laughed; smacking Jack’s arm.

“Here we go. Something a bit different,” Mary started. “This ones from Krystal Farnsworth. Have you ever read a “Jalex” fanfiction? If so, which one?”

“I’ve read a few,” Jack answered. “But the one that stood out to me was one where Alex turned into a chick during the day.”

“Seriously?” Alex asked; amused.

“Yeah,” Jack continued; alternating his gaze between Alex and Mary. “Like, when the sun came up, you would like grow boobs and vagina. You wouldn’t have anything else, like inside. But yeah. The girl Alex couldn’t get off. Like, ‘she’ couldn’t orgasm or whatever. So she/ he like came to me to help. There was a lot of sex and shit. But, like, yeah. At the end you just stop turning into a chick and stay a guy. And there’s like a corny little ending because it wasn’t that you were a chick that kept me around and ‘loving you’ like I did. It was just because it was you all along.”

“Naww Jacky. You big softy,” Alex mocked; punching Jack on the shoulder lightly.

“Shut up,” Jack pouted. “It was a pretty good read actually.”

“I believe you,” Alex said. “You gotta link me to that but um. One that stood out for me was one where for a week every summer since like puberty I would get really fucking horny. Like, I would get raging hard ons all the time. And I would have to keep handling it by myself. But the week during one summer, we were touring. And I kinda accidentally dragged you into it.”

“How?” Jack asked; turning to him.

“I was like, aggravated and you popped your head in my bunk to wake me up one day. I told you to fuck off or whatever. but you knew something was up,” Alex explained. “And I pulled you in on top of me and told you what happened and stuff. So you ‘helped’ me through the week.”

Jack and Alex both laughed; Mary looking at them and smiling.

“They both sound interesting,” Mary told them.

“Oh yeah,” Jack laughed. “I gotta read that raging hard on one though.”

“This ones from Darla St. James,” she said. “Would you ever date a guy?”

“Um,” Jack bit his lip. “As much as I like boobies, Actually. I think I would.”

“Really?” Mary asked.

“Really?” Alex looked at Jack; shocked.

“Yeah. I mean, of course it’d have to be the right guy,” he explained; glancing at Alex before looking down unsurely, at his microphone. “It wouldn’t just be some random male hooker or some shit. But, yeah. I don’t see why I wouldn’t.”

“How about you Alex?” Mary pushed for a response.

Alex stood looking at Jack. Was he serious? Jack? Dating a guy? He turned to Mary.

“Um. I mean. Not right now; because I am dating a girl. Lisa,” Alex stuttered. “But, if we weren’t to work out. I don’t know. I guess I would.”

Alex shrugged and looked up; finding Jack looking at him; surprise written on his face.

“I wouldn’t rule out dating a guy,” Alex continued. “But as Jack said. It’d have to be the right guy.”

“This is a question from me,” Mary tilted her head.

“Shoot,” Alex shrugged.

“Would you ever date each other?” she asked.

Both Alex and Jack glanced at each other; before turning back to look at Mary.

“I don’t know,” Alex answered; looking down and biting on his bottom lip.

“Jack?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded. “Well, I mean. Maybe not right now; obviously. But, I think I would date Alex. He’s my best friend and I love him.” Jack smiled to himself. “He knows everything about me and I know everything about him. We grew up together. I know him better than I know myself. So, yes. I guess, if the opportunity ever came up. I think I would date Alex.”

Mary smiled as Jack looked at Alex; a light in his eyes that expressed feelings that may not have been obvious to Alex but were sure as hell obvious to her. Jack sighed; disappointed with Alex’s silence.

Alex slowly looked up; catching Mary’s eyes.

“I’m going to have to agree,” Alex said softly.

“What?” Jack asked him; even more shocked by this response then the dating a guy one.

“I’m going to agree. I would date Jack. If the opportunity came up; and there was nothing holding us back,” Alex continued; keeping his eyes on Mary. He felt Jack’s eyes on him. “As Jack said, we are best mates. If anything was to go wrong, in this hypothetical relationship, I feel we’d be able to come back from it. Our friendship has survived through a lot of shit in the past. I don’t think that’d be any different.”

“So um,” Mary started; tucking the questions under her arm. “How do you think Rian and Zack would react if you were to come out as a couple?”

Jack remained silent. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Well,” Alex tapped the microphone against his chin before speaking again. “It’s no secret that Jack and I are already pretty cuddly and snuggly and stuff. Everyone’s seen it. We actually spent a lot of the tour last winter sharing blankets, or when we got a hotel room, beds. Matt Flyzik and the guys say we fight like an old married couple sometimes. It’s just proof we hang around each other too much. People have seen us kiss on stage as jokes and we hug and stuff. So like, it’d be just putting a title on that I guess.”

“Yeah. And we’d be having kinky, guy on guy, butt sex,” Jack smiled.

“That too,” Alex laughed; thankful that Jack had spoken. “But, I guess, I don’t know, you’d have to ask them.”

“I think Zack would appreciate that actually,” Jack added.

“Yeah,” Alex laughed lightly. “But in all seriousness, I don’t think they’d have an issue dealing with it. It would of course take some getting used to, for all involved really. But I don’t think there’d be any problems.”

“How about p.d.a’s?” Mary asked; her voice curious. “Like public displays of affection?”

“Would I hold hands or make out with Jack in public?”

“Yeah,” Mary nodded.

“Fuck yes I would,” Alex smiled

Jack laughed; Alex and Mary both joining in. Alex turned to Jack as the laughter died off; sharing a soft smile.

“Thanks for your time guys,” Mary smiled. “Sorry I deterred from the fans questions a bit.”

“That’s no problem,” Alex smiled. “Its always fun when you get something you didn’t expect.”

Alex hugged Mary briefly before stepping back; allowing Jack to do the same.

“It was nice meeting you both,” she smiled.

“Likewise,” Alex returned.

Jack smiled at her as they turned away; slowly making their way back to the bus. Jack walked quietly; watching his feet as they walked; the glare of the setting sun in his eyes.

“Well, that was interesting,” Alex said slowly; looking to Jack for a conversation.

“Yeah,” Jack nodded. ‘Interesting.”

~

The rustling and moving around in the bunk above him kept Alex awake. He opened his eyes and sighed; smacked the wooden frame of Jack’s bunk.

“Dude!” he whispered hoarsely. “Will you fucking quit moving around? I’m trying to sleep down here.”

“I’m sorry,” came Jack’s mumbled reply. “I just, I can’t sleep”

“You were tired earlier,” Alex told him; rubbing his face with his hands. “What’s up?”

“I’ve got to ask you something,” Jack whispered.

“Well, get down here and fucking ask me so we can both sleep,” Alex ordered. “You with a piece of mind and me with silence.”

Alex waited as Jack climbed down from his bunk. He rolled onto his side as Jack kneeled down beside his bunk. Jack was just in plaid pyjama pants and in the dull light of the bus, Alex saw him shiver a little. His hair was sticking up in every direction and his face was worried; maybe anxious.

“What is it?” Alex yawned.

“Remember in the interview we did today,” Jacks whispered; his voice nervous, wavering. “When she asked us if we would date each other?”

“Yes Jack,” Alex replied; stifling a yawn with the back of his hand.

“Were you serious when you said you would date me?” Jack studied his hands that were clutching the edge of Alex’s bunk.

“Why are you asking? Alex queried; curious.

“Please just answer me Alex,” Jack sighed. Alex heard the desperation in his voice. “I know you’re tired. I just, I have to know.”

“Yes Jack,” Alex nodded. “I was serious.”

“Like, really?” Jack questioned.

“Yes. Really,” Alex laughed lightly; stifling another yawn. “Why would I bullshit about something like that?”

“But, it’s just,” Jack scratched his head. “I would never think of you as a dude that’s into dudes.”

“And you are?” Alex smirked.

“Well... yeah. Um,” Jack stammered. “Kinda. I guess.”

Alex rubbed his eyes and propped himself up on an elbow, looking at Jack with a smile.

“I wouldn’t say something like that if I didn’t mean it Jack,” Alex told him. “I may joke around and be a dick a lot of the time, but I know when to be serious.”

“But, I don’t know,” Jack frowned; looking down again. “I just have trouble believing you. I’ve known you for years Alex. It’s always been chicks for you. You’ve had more girlfriends than me. Hell, you have one now.”

“Jack.”

“No Alex, please, let me just,” Jack rubbed his head furiously. “Like. I want to believe you. I really do. But, I just. I can’t.”

Alex propped himself up properly; leaning his body weight on his elbow. He brushed his fringe back off his face and leaned closer to Jack; grazing his free hand along the side of Jack’s neck and cupping his jaw softly. He rubbed Jack’s cheek softly with his thumb.

“What are you...? Jack started; his eyes the size of plates.

“Proving that I wasn’t bullshitting you,” Alex whispered.

Alex leaned forward more; smiling softly. His eyes never left Jack’s. Once his features went out of focus Alex slipped his eyes closed. He pressed his lips against Jacks ever so softly; Jack reacting by returning the pressure. Alex smiled against Jack’s lips and slowly pulled away. Jack blushed a little; a slight pink tinge appearing on his cheeks. Alex left his hand on Jack’s face and Jack leaned into the touch.

“I promise you Jack,” Alex said softly. “Like, I wouldn’t lie about something like that. I wouldn’t tell you or tell anybody that I would ever date you unless I meant it. I swear to you.”

“Oh,” Jack smiled a little; turning up the corners of his mouth in the smallest possible movement.

“So, do you believe me now?” Alex asked and moved his hand back to his bed.

Jack nodded slowly.

“Good,” Alex smiled and moved over towards the wall more. “Now, come here.”

“What?” Jack swallowed.

“Get in my bunk Jack,” Alex demanded; his tone stern.

“Oh okay,” Jack mumbled in reply.

He stood up before climbing into Alex’s bunk beside him and pulling the curtain closed behind him. He lay with his back to Alex; who scooted closer and tossed his blanket over Jack too. Alex pressed a kiss to Jack’s bare shoulder and wrapped his arm around his waist. Jack blushed; curling up and reveling in the closeness of the embrace. Although they’ve done this before; this time it felt different somehow.

“I would never lie to you Jack, ever,” Alex mumbled sleepily against Jack’s skin. “And I’m not promising anything either. But if Lisa and I, ever, you know, not work out. I’ll know in my heart that you are the one I’m meant to be with.”

It wasn’t a promise or a definite yes. But Jack was going to hold Alex to that.

Two weeks later.

“Fucking hell!” Alex yelled. “You can’t just expect me to dump Lisa because you’ve suddenly discovered you’re in love with me Jack.”

“Suddenly? Jack scoffed. “Fuck. You’re such an asshole Alex.”

The bus was silent; Zack, Rian and the crew out to dinner at some restaurant in town. Jack stood glaring at Alex; his best friend, band mate and for the last two weeks, bunk mate and snuggle buddy.

“I’m an asshole?” Alex asked in disbelief; pointing to himself. “Who’s the one who wants me to break up with my girlfriend for them?”

“Did I fucking say that Alex?” Jack shouted. “No, I didn’t! You’re the asshole for leading me on like this. You’re the asshole for hugging me and kissing me and treating me like we’re a fucking couple 24/7 Alex! How many nights in the past two weeks have we slept alone in a bunk? That’s right. Fucking none. We’ve spent every single moment together Alex; every moment. Snuggling and making out in our bunks until one of us would fall asleep. And the flirting on stage? Don’t even get me fucking started on that! ‘I’m gonna fuck your mouth?’ a little blunt there Alex, don’t you think? Like fuck. You’re the asshole for getting my hopes up only to bring them crashing down. You promised me that if things weren’t to work out with Lisa that we would be together. That I was the one you were meant to be with. I’ve heard you fighting with her Alex, on the phone at night, outside venues, outside the bus for fuck sake. I hear it, we all hear it. What are you so afraid of?!”

Alex exhaled through his nose; sick of how his best friend and band mate was yelling at him. He stormed up to him; pointing his finger in his face.

“I didn’t fucking promise anything, Jack,” Alex spat. “And stop eaves dropping on my private conversations!”

Jack slapped Alex’s hand away from his face angrily and shoved him backwards forcefully away from him. Alex stood staring at him.

“They aren’t private conversations if the whole fucking compound can here them,” Jack replied. He threw his hands up in defeat. “You know what whatever.”

Jack looked at Alex sadly. He shook his head and turned away from him; pulling his hood over his head. He made his way to the front of the bus; heading to the door. Alex sighed.

“Jack wait...” he called; but Jack ignored him; continuing down the stairs and out the front of the bus.

Jack sighed to himself; frustrated that he’d just walked away form Alex. He didn’t know where to go. He had nowhere to go. Not being familiar with the state they were in, let alone the city or any local hang outs was definitely a let down right now. Jack turned his gaze to the sky. It wasn’t quite dark yet; more dusk. The sky was grey, threatening rain or possibly a storm.

He sighed; walking to the back of the bus and plonking himself down onto the pavement; leaning against the back of the bus. Pulling one knee up to his chest; Jack rested his cheek against his knees. He felt his eyes fill with tears and couldn’t do anything to stop them from cascading over his cheeks. He felt the tears on his bare knee; exposed by a fraying hole in his jeans.

:Have I really fucked this all up?: Jack whispered to himself. :Have i? The friendship, the band. Can we just go back to how were before?:

Jack looked up; finding the silhouette of someone approaching him. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie; pulling his other knee up and wrapping his arms around them. He tried to appear as small as possible; hoping the person wouldn’t notice him. As they drew closer to him, Jack recognised the figure immediately.

It was Lisa.

“Hey Jack,” she greeted him cheerily; smiling.

“Hey,” Jack responded; trying to keep his voice normal and hoping that she would just go away. She is after all, a factor in all this messed up equation.

“You alright?” she asked.

“Yep,” Jack swallowed. “Fine.”

“Are you crying?” she said; her voice not mocking or sarcastic, but generally concerned.

“Um, no,” Jack lied then sighed. “I mean, yes.”

“How come?” she questioned; kneeling down beside Jack and resting her and on his knee.

“Stupid fight with Alex,” he muttered.

“You and Alex fight all the time though,” she replied; humour in her voice.

“Things have just, changed a little,” he whispered; feeling tears well up in his eyes again. He wiped the away furiously. “I guess. So this, its hit me harder this time.”

“How do you mean?” Lisa asked; her voice cautious. “Things have changed?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ve just. Fuck,” Jack rested his elbow on his knee and scratched his head. He exhaled. “Um. I shouldn’t be telling you this, but we’ve been getting closer over the last couple of weeks.”

“Oh?” Lisa asked; confused.

Jack looked at her; his eyes suggestive; one eyebrow raised.

“Oh!” she breathed; catching on to what was going on.

“Yeah. I mean,” Jack licked his lips nervously. “You know we haven’t had sex or anything, or done anything like that. But like, we hold hands. And, we cuddle and stuff, more then we used to. And I don’t know. I’ve just, gotten my hopes up I guess.”

“You like Alex? Like that?” Lisa tilted her head; sliding her hand off of Jack’s knee and clasping both hands in front of her.

Jack nodded in response; feeling pathetic. Why was he telling Lisa this?

“It’s not just friendship for you anymore is it Jack?” she tucked her hair behind her ear and tried to catch Jack’s wandering eye.

Jack bit down on his bottom lip as more tears formed in his eyes. He pick at a thread loose in the hole in his jeans knee.

“Honestly?” Jack looked up to Lisa; unsurely. “For me, I don’t think it was ever just friendship.”

Lisa smiled slightly; chewing her own lip. She looked towards the front of the bus before turning back to Jack. She stood up; dusting off the knees of her fading blue jeans.

“I’ll be back, okay?” she said to Jack.

Jack nodded slowly and leaned over; peering around the side of the bus as she walked away. He turned back; returning to his position from before when she disappeared up the stairs.

Jack strained his ears; trying to catch some of the conversation. He hears some mumbled words; mostly Lisa’s voice. Occasionally, Alex’s voice would join hers.

”If you think its for the best,” Alex’s voice said.

Jack frowned; confused. He was easily confused. What do you expect; he didn’t go to college.

He turned at the sound of someone coming down the bus stairs. He hoped it was Alex coming to apologise but instead it was Lisa. She approached him slowly; a smile creeping its way onto her features. She stopped in front of Jack; he looked up at her curiously. He looked so small and innocent; his big brown eyes sparkling with left over tears.

“He’s waiting for you in there,” she shrugged towards the front of the bus.

“What?” Jack asked; shaking his head.

“Just go you moron,” Lisa laughed softly. She stopped and smiled genuinely.

Jack stood up slowly and awkwardly; dusting off his butt as he stood. He kept his eyes on Lisa.

“Trust me,” Lisa told him. “You won’t regret it.”

Lisa turned away from Jack; walking away from the bus. She stopped and turned back briefly.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” she smiled before turning around again; continuing to walk away.

Jack turned towards the front of the bus and walked to the steps. He licked his lips. He climbed the stairs slowly; unsure of what was waiting for him at the top. He found Alex sitting on the dining table. His shoulders were slumped forward. He clutched the edge of the table with his hands and his hair hung in his face as he looked to the floor.

“Hey,” Jack greeted him quietly.

Alex looked up slowly; he seemed a little off, upset.

“What’s up?”Jack asked; concerned.

“Lisa just broke up with me,” he mumbled; sighing. “And, I don’t even know why.”

A short silence followed, as Jack pondered his next move. He could play dumb; be the best friend that could help him through the break up. Or he could tell Alex the truth. Jack sighed; deciding on the latter.

“Um,” Jack bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I might know.”

“What?” Alex snapped his eyes up to Jacks; anger burning there again.

“I told her,” Jack confessed softly. “I told her we’d been getting closer.”

Alex jaw dropped. He got off the table; storming up to Jack. He grabbed the front of his hoodie tightly in both hands and backed Jack up against the counter violently. Jack’s breathing became irregular; frightened by his best friends actions. He stared at Alex wide-eyed; fearing every thought that rushed through his mind; any potential scenario that followed this one.

“What the fuck did you tell her that for?” Alex screamed at him.

“Alex,” Jack breathed. “She’s your girlfriend, well was. She had a right to know that her boyfriend was shacking up, well, not shacking up but. Fuck. You know what I mean. She had a right to know what we were doing behind her back.”

“You had no right to tell her though!” Alex yelled; tightening his grip on Jacks hoodie.

“And why not?” Jack argued. “She’s my friend Alex. Why shouldn’t I tell her?”

“Because! I should’ve been the one to fucking tell her.”

Alex inhaled deeply and let go of Jack’s hoodie angrily. He turned his back on him; leaning his palms on the table.

“I told her something else,” Jack whispered; straightening out his hoodie.

“Fuck,” Alex muttered; turning around. “What else did you say?”

“I told her, that for me,” Jack took a deep breath; preparing himself for one of the biggest admissions of his life. “Us. Whatever this is; whatever it always has been. It was never just friendship. It was always more then that for me Alex. Always.”

Alex opened his mouth to say something; counter Jack’s claim. But nothing came. He closed his mouth and turned his gaze to the floor of the bus. Jack watched Alex carefully; trying to pick what he was going to do next. Alex didn’t move; he stayed watching the floor. He didn’t say a word.

“Please,” Jack whispered; begging. “Say something.”

“What do you want me to say?” Alex questioned; annoyance still present in his tone.

Jack frowned and sighed. He fidgeted; crossing his arms then uncrossing them; before throwing them up in defeat.

“Fuck Alex. I don’t know alright?” Jack told him. “I don’t want to fight with you again! I don’t like fighting with you! I’m sorry I told Lisa alright. And I’m sorry that she broke up with you. Damn. Fuck. You probably wanted to do.”

Jack turned away; heading or the door again.

“You and your fucking ego Alex Gaskarth,” he groaned. “I thought you’d grown into that.”

“Jack. Wait. Stop,” Alex stepped forward; grabbing Jacks arm. “Please.”

Jack spun around; throwing Alex’s hand off him.

“What Alex?” it was Jack’s turn to shout now. “Now you want to fucking say something? I tell you that I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen and you don’t say anything. But when I go to leave you fucking want to talk? Don’t worry about me alright? Ill fucking get over whatever this is. The band will survive. We’ll be fine.”

Jack shook his head; running his fingers through his hair. He felt the tears spring up in his eyes again. He didn't want to cry; not again, not over Alex again. He sighed.

“Damn. Like, fuck. I already apologised alright?” Jack whispered; his voice breaking. “I’m fucking sorry she dumped you and you didn’t get the chance to do it first. Just; run after her. She wouldn’t have gotten far.”

“Jack,” Alex said simply.

“Better yet,” Jack shrugged and pulled his iphone from his pocket. “I’ll call her for you.”

“Jack,” Alex stepped forward and took Jacks phone from him and put it on the table. “Just, shut up. Alright.
”
“Why?” Jack requested; reaching for his phone. Alex stopped him; grabbing him by his shoulders. Jack shrugged him off; stepping back away from him. “Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

“Because,” Alex smiled softly. “Why did you think she was coming over here in the first place?”

The anger melted off Jacks face; being replaced by a look of wonder and shock.

“What?” he breathed.

“Why’d you think she was coming here?” Alex asked. “You know she wouldn’t just turn up out of the blue.”

“Why was she coming?” Jack whispered.

“Because,” Alex smiled again; meeting Jack curious eyes with his own. “I was going to tell her that I couldn’t see her anymore.”

Jack swallowed as Alex takes a step closer to him.

“Really?” Jack asked; his voice softer then before. “But why?”

“Because. I’d fallen for my best friend,” Alex replied. “As fucked up as we are Jack, as friends or whatever we’ve been all this time, I just don’t think I can be just friends anymore.”

“Are you? Are you serious?” Jack asked; shocked.

He wasn’t expecting this. He wasn’t expecting Alex to actually want to break up with Lisa. Not for him.

“What’d I say before?” Alex smiled warmly; running his hand down Jack’s arm and holding his hand in his gently. “If Lisa and I ever didn’t work out, I would know that you were the one I was meant to be with. I guess everything happens for a reason Jack. You telling Lisa? It was just fate telling us something. I know I got mad about it. But like, it works in our favour I guess.”

Alex took one more step closer; he and Jack now standing face to face.

“But you’ve been Lisa for ages,” Jack questioned; unsure of everything. “How can you just, be over her?”

“That interview we did,” Alex started. “I guess, I’ve just been thinking ever since. I mean, that break up. It didn’t even hurt. It should have, but it didn’t. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m already over her or, that I’ve been getting over her for a while, or because I knew that when it came to having someone to fall back on for support, I knew you would be there. That. That sounds kinda bad but...”

“No. I get it,” Jack nodded slowly. “I do.”

“I guess, when you’ve known someone for as long as I’ve known you Jack. Things like feelings develop early,” Alex explained. “And just sit there at the back of my mind until something makes me bring it forward.”

“The interview?”

“And kissing you, you know, properly,” Alex smiled. “For the first time the other night.”

“Really?” Jack asked; shyly.

“That sealed the deal, Jacky boy,” Alex shrugged; still smiling.

“So, um,” Jack cleared his throat. “What are we now?”

“What do you want to be?” Alex smiled.

Jack shrugged; biting his lip nervously. He looked up at Alex who wore a smile; one of sincerity, caring and love.

“Jack. Can I kiss you?” Alex asked.

Jack nodded slowly.

Alex took one last step towards like; standing so close nothing could pass between them. He raised his hand; sliding it along Jacks jaw and round to the back his neck. Jack tensed ever so slightly.

“Relax Jack,” Alex whispered. “We’ve done this before.”

“Not like this Alex,” Jack shook his head. “This. This is different.”

“I agree. It means more now; something different,’ Alex smiled. “But, it’s still me and it’s still you.”

Jack smiled at Alex.

“Are you going to kiss me or what?” he asked.

Alex leaned in; pressing his lips against Jacks. It was different; it felt different. It wasn’t just a kiss anymore; something to make the girls in the crowd scream and run away to write their sick little fanfictions about. There was something behind this kiss; something better, warmer. Alex slid his tongue along Jack’s bottom lip. Jack parted his lips slightly; allowing Alex entry. He slid his tongue across Jacks. Their mouths moved in sync; a rhythmic pattern of massage, for seconds, minutes? Neither boy knew for sure. Jack pulled away; holding onto Alex’s shoulders and catching his breath.

“This isn’t some joke or dream or something right?” Jack asked; his breathing still obscure. “I’m not just going to wake up tomorrow and you’ll still be with Lisa and ill be still some sad sap pining for his best friend. Am i?”

“No Jack,” Alex shook his head; smiling. “This is real life; it’s all for real. This is happening. There’s no need to pine for your best friend anymore.”

“Yeah?” Jack smiled.

Alex reached for Jack’s hand; interlacing the fingers together. He lifted the clasped hands up in front of both their faces. Jack’s eyes flickered from Alex’s eyes, to the hands and back again. Alex smiled warmly.

“I promise.”