Begin to Hope

I sat there, shock still, waiting for Farley to get up and curse out Taylor as I knew he would.

Taylor started to laugh, cruelly, a mocking laugh that pierced my ears and made me almost cry out.

Why isn't Farley getting up? Why isn't he doing something about Taylor? I wondered to myself. There's no way he can be dead. No. fucking. way.

Orlando shook his head several times and I watched as his face turned pale and he turned away from Farley's motionless body and began to shake.

"No." I whispered, gripping my wand tightly in my left hand. "No, no, no!" I slid down from the mounted hill I was on and began to crawl closer.

Taylor and the other two Death Eaters grabbed Orlando and made him sit up straight, facing them. They started to talk to him quietly, presumably questioning him of my whereabouts.

"No!" He shouted, and that prompted me to stand up and fire a curse at the fat annoying Death Eater.

"Expelliarmus!" I cried, sending him backwards into a tree, knocking him unconscious.

"YOU!" Taylor cried, whirling around quickly and pointing one finger at me. "You're too much trouble, but now--" Before he could finish his sentence, Orlando managed to get one leg out from underneath him and kick away at Taylor's legs, knocking him to the ground. Taylor let out a cry of pain and grabbed at his leg.

"CRUCIO!" The tall one attempted to curse me, but I managed to duck out of the way just in time.

"Stupefy!" A red jet of light shot from my wand and hit the tall Death Eater, sending him to the ground, leaving me only Taylor to deal with.

He was lying pathetically on the ground, moaning and grabbing frantically at his leg.

When he looked up to see me approaching him with a wild glint in my eyes, he tried to push himself off the ground and away from me.

"Please--" he tried to stutter, "No!"

"What do you think I'm going to do? I am humane, you know." He cowered underneath me and I rolled my eyes. I waved my wand over him and he fell unconscious.

I looked down to see Orlando struggling to untie himself. I knelt down beside him and slowly undid the ropes binding him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, avoiding looking directly at me. I thought that was odd, but I pushed the thought out of my mind.

"Do we--should we take his body with us?" He asked, shuffling over to where Farley lay.

I tucked my wand back in my pocket and looked at Orlando. He was trying to sit Farley up straight, dust the dirt off his clothing and make him look somewhat presentable.

Suddenly we heard shouts coming from our right side.

"Where are they?"

"Taylor, Bradley, how are you two?"

"Did you find them? We heard noise!"

I turned quickly to look at Orlando.

"No. Leave his body. If we can, we'll come back for it later. Right now we have to get away from here."

Orlando stood up, dropping Farley's body gently back into its original position.

"Come on." I motioned for him to follow me and we ran into the forest blindly, not stopping for anything. I just kept running, hoping Orlando was keeping up, not looking back. I could feel myself getting faster and faster, and it felt as though at any second my legs would give away. My breathing was heavy and labored, but I didn't stop. I had to get away, get away from the "scene of the accident", had to get away from Farley and the Death Eaters and everything would go away if I could just run fast enough, I know it would, I just had to keep running, keep running--

"Kerry! Oh, baby, Kerry, it's okay," Orlando was holding me, I was on the ground, my vision was blurred.

"What happened?" My words came out slurred, but I couldn't seem to form any complete thoughts. Orlando held me and rocked me back and forth, quietly murmuring in my ear.

"Kerry, shh, it's okay, you're alright now, we're away, they won't find us here."

I sat up, pushed him away and looked around at the quiet forest around me. I couldn't hear anything from where we were, but I could definitely sense the sun was coming up soon. There was a small stream of light coming from when most obviously have been the eastern part of the sky. I pulled my knees up under my chin and hugged my legs, quietly thinking about everything. I looked at Orlando and realized my vision was blurred because I was crying.

He reached out a hand to push a tear away from my eye.

"Kerry, it's okay. We're fine now."

"We're not fine. How are we fine? Farley is gone. What are we supposed to say to the others when we get back? 'Sorry, we tried, but he's dead now. Move on.' It's my fault! If I would have made a move just seconds earlier, Taylor wouldn't have gotten so angry--Farley would still--"

I collapsed in Orlando's arms and sighed heavily.

"This isn't fair. This entire war--it's not--Orlando--I can't take this! Let's just not go home, okay? We'll just travel away--we'll go to the U.S. We'll take on new names, and live as Muggles, and nobody will miss us. The others--they'll just think we all died. Life will be okay! Wouldn't that be okay, Orlando? How about it?" I looked up eagerly at him but he just had a sad smile on his face, and his eyes looked sad as he soothingly rubbed his hand on my back.

"Don't you smile at me like that! Your little, mocking smile! As if you know more than I do. Just shut up, Orlando! You don't know anything!"

"Kerry, just calm down. We can't run away. That wouldn't solve any of our problems, at all. We have to go back to the others, and take control. We can do this."

I sat up slowly, nodding at his pragmatic explanation. I knew he was right, but it seemed like a much better idea to just sit here and wallow in self pity.

"So let's get up." He heaved me to my feet and we both stood up unsteadily, almost toppling back over to the ground. He steadied me and I leaned into him, feeling drowsy and as if I might fall over. I laid one hand on his chest and the other around his back and leaned forward, resting my head against his strong muscular chest, knowing I wouldn't fall over while he was holding me up. He made a soft cooing noise and I closed my eyes and just listened to the sound of his heartbeat.

"Kerry, I don't know if we can just stay here, in this forest. Don't you think we should try and get further away?" His voice had an edgy tone, as if he was looking around for any trackers of ours.

"No," I murmured softly, "They won't find us, don't worry. And I'm so tired. Couldn't we take a little nap?"

Muttering a reply I couldn't hear, he helped me groggily walk along until we nearly fell over into a ditch. He slid down first himself, then helped me jump down. He settled himself down on the ground on a pile of leaves, trying to find a comfortable spot, before motioning for me to join him. I immediately snuggled down beside him, laying my head on his chest, and I felt him put an arm around me.

"Goodnight, Kerry." He kissed the top of my head and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

When I finally awoke several hours later I looked up to the sky and estimated it to be right around noon, and even though the sun was brightly shining, the wind blew harshly around me and I wished for a coat.

Remember the events of just a few hours ago, I jumped to my feet and looked around, not seeing Orlando anywhere.

"Orlando?" I cried softly. "Where are you?"

He stepped out from behind a tree where I hadn't noticed him, with a silly grin on his face.

"Hey, sleepyhead." He came forward, carrying several sticks in his hand. "What's up?"

"Oh, I thought you had... never mind." I had been going to say that I had thought he might have left me, no longer wanting to be with me, but that was, of course, a foolish thought.

"Well, I've been exploring most of the morning, and I'm sure that almost ninety percent of the Death Eaters have left. I snuck over to their campsite and overheard part of their conversations. They're really mad that Taylor, Murphy and Ward let us get away."

"Murphy and Ward?"

"The other two Death Eaters that had been tracking us," I noticed him turn a slight shade of red and turn away as he said this. He picked up a few more sticks and examined them carefully. "They should be all fully gone in a few hours, and then we'll head back and see how bad of damage the car is in."

"And what of Farley?"

He looked at me, a pained expression on his face. "I think it would be easier if we left his body here."

"Just to rot away?"

"Well, it would, for one, stink up the car, and for another thing, I don't know if the younger kids would be able to handle it."

"Still, it seems... just... awful to leave it here."

He nodded, seemingly understanding. "We'll bury him someplace before we leave."

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling the cold wind blow through and chill me to the bone. I shivered slightly.

"When can we--well, when will the Death Eaters be fully gone?"

"In a little while, I should think. I give it another couple of hours or so." He looked over at me, hugging my body to keep warm, and his expression softened a bit. "In the meantime, let's build a fire. I've been gathering sticks--" he waved them in the air at me, "--And I think it'll help to keep us warm. Maybe, we might even be able to cook something to eat!"

The thought of food at this moment, especially something as sickening as a dead squirrel, or perhaps worse, was enough to make my stomach turn over. I immediately fell to my knees and raised a hand to my mouth to try and prevent myself from throwing up, but alas, to no avail. I dry-heaved several times into the nearest bush and saw out of the corner of my eye Orlando turn away, making a face.

"Sorry," I apologized to him, though I have no idea why. It wasn't his fault I wasn't in the mood for roast-baked squirrel. "I just can't think about food right now."

"Understandable," he replied, dropping the sticks in a small pile at the base of a tree. He smiled at me as I slowly studied his faces. He seemed unabashingly unworried about anything.

"Won't the fire attract attention?" I asked suddenly, wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand.

"Huh?" he replied, turning around to climb around the tree and pick up some more wood.

"The fire. Smoke will come off, sending a signal right above our heads, showing the Death Eaters where we are, won't it?"

"Oh. Possibly. Don't worry, I'll use my wand to send the smoke billowing off in different directions. They won't notice little puffs of smoke coming out of different angles. They won't know what to think." He smiled brightly at me, showing off his perfect teeth.

I cocked my head to the side, thinking. There was just something about his smile that I didn't quite trust.

"Orlando..." I said slowly, "You aren't hiding anything from me...are you?"

"Hiding? Why would I be hiding something from you?" He raised one eyebrow and gave a crazed sort-of laugh.

"I don't know..." You're thinking foolish thoughts, Kerry. Just relax. You're with Orlando, everything's fine.

"Hey, will you help me gather some firewood instead of just sitting there like a lump?" he called jokingly.

I immediately jumped up and began to help him prepare us a bit of shelter.

Quite some time later, we had safely built a small blazing fire, and true to his word, Orlando had used his wand to magically whisk away all of the smoke, sending it off in different directions to distract any Death Eaters that might have been watching.

We both sat calmly beside each other, staring into the fire and letting the warmth of it creep up on us and warm us both. Watching the small crackling of the flames kept us both occupied, meaning we didn't really feel it necessary to talk.

I didn't know what he was thinking about, but the events of Farley's death still clearly replayed over and over in my mind. His calls that he knew I was a smart girl and that he knew I would save him kept ringing in my ears, a constant reminder that I hadn't gotten there in time.

I should have made a move sooner. I thought bitterly. Just what will the others think of me?

I shook my head to clear my hazy thoughts before looking over at Orlando to find him lazing back against the ground, his eyes half closed as if he was dozing. I leaned over to him, and whispered for him to wake up. The words had barely left my mouth when he shot up and looked around, quite alert.

"What is it?" he asked sternly, thinking I had awakened him for some reason other than just to talk.

"Nothing. We're fine. I was thinking maybe we could head back now?"

Orlando sighed, brushed a hand through his hair and nodded, breathing a sigh of relief that I hadn't awakened him in an emergency. He put out the fire with his wand and reached out a hand to help me to my feet.

"Which direction are we headed in?" I asked as I stood up with his aid.

"East, I should think." He glanced at the sky quickly, checking which direction the sun was facing, before heading off towards the left.

I glanced at the sky too, wondering how he could possibly know where we had come from. We had taken so many twists and turns on our way here, when we had been running blindly, that I had no idea how he would know which way to get back.

"How far is it?" I started to follow him along the trail, watching as he tried to retrace our steps.

He shook his head. "I don't recall. Must be at least a mile, don't you think?"

I didn't reply, but silently I thought to myself it couldn't have been that much, for I don't think I would have lasted running a mile.

As if he could read my thoughts, he replied, "You'd be amazed at how far you can run when you're in a dire situation."

I continued following him, pondering that as I went along.

Sooner than I could have imagined, we finally stumbled upon the clearing where we had crashed the car. We found it damaged beyond repair. All of the windows and windshields had been broken, the seats had been slashed, the hood was open and the engine had been wrecked. There was absolutely nothing we could do to restore it.

"Fuck," Orlando moaned, pounding one fist against the trunk of the car. "How are we supposed to get home now?"

I shook my head, not paying him any attention as he rattled on about his displeasure. I started to head over toward the place where we had left Farley, hoping his body was still lying there.

It was nowhere to be found.

I looked carefully around the entire area, looking for any sort of stain at all that would prove he had just been moved to a different location, but there was nothing. After another minute, I quickly ran back to Orlando, all of a sudden finding myself rather jumpy about the entire situation.

"Orlando, apparently they must have taken Farley's body with them!" A shudder went down my spine, causing me to realize the entire depth of this situation. "What do we do now?"

"We'll have to go on without it."

"But how? We have no way of getting home, we don't even--wait. Do you know how to Apparate?"

He responded by looking at me quizzically. "What's that?"

My jaw dropped. "You don't know what Apparation is? My, we'll have to teach you then." I took out my wand and motioned for Orlando to take a step closer to me. He did, but I rolled my eyes when we still weren't close enough and I pulled him into me.

"What are we doing--" I silenced him before he could finish his sentence and I closed my eyes and thought hard about the open, spacious fields we had been in before we came here. I thought about the willow tree, and the spot where Farley had hidden the necklace. I pictured it clearly in my mind, and thought about going there, with the sun shining and the birds singing and--a whirling sensation, I felt myself getting sick to my stomach, Orlando cried something out that I couldn't decipher, and--

I opened my eyes, almost shouting for happiness when I saw we were in the field that we had started in. I looked to the left and saw the willow tree there, slightly swaying in the cool breeze. I immediately pushed Orlando away from me and began to hunt for the moved dirt, for the spot where we had gotten the necklace from.

"Do you think it's even still here?" I asked him frantically as I searched the ground. "Remember, we did leave it in a hurry. Do you think the Death Eaters would have picked it up?"

"I don't know." He said thoughtfully. "Probably not. Would they know its worth?"

I bit my lip, searching the ground around us. "I don't know."

We spread out around the tree, hunting through the tall weeds to try and find it.

"We can't have lost it!" I almost started screaming, nearly in a panic. "We could do anything with that necklace, and if we've lost it--what will become of us?"

"Now is not the time to panic. Just, keep looking." My eyes kept searching the ground around us, trying not to think desperate thoughts. I knew if I got too hysterical I'd get in a frenzied panic and not be able to think straight. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Breathe in, breathe out. The necklace has to be around somewhere; the Death Eaters couldn't have known its worth. They wouldn't have found it, and even if they did, they couldn't possibly have taken it... could they?

"I found it!" Orlando yelled happily, springing up from where he had wandered off to, about twelve yards away.

"You found it? Really?" I rushed towards him, eager to find that the necklace was still in one piece. "Quick -- let's make sure it still works. That they didn't destroy it somehow."

He placed the necklace over his neck and I took out my wand and aimed a curse at him. It did nothing.

"Yes!" I cried happily for joy, pumping my fist in the air. He smiled at me and took the necklace off and put it in his pocket for safekeeping.

"Alright, now that we're done here, it's off towards home!" I indicated that he should come closer. I grabbed his wrist, thought of the house, and in a swirl of flashing colors and a few painful moments of landing later, we were standing several blocks away from our home.

Eager to get into the safety and warmth of our humble abode, and noticing that it was nearly dark again, we began to scramble towards our house as quickly as we could, being careful to be as inconspicuous as possible in the fading daylight. We were making light jokes as we went along, happy to almost be there again, not thinking about anything but a nice meal and a warm bed. As I thought about food, I realized we hadn't eaten in about a day and a half and that I was suddenly feeling ravenous.

The two of us stopped short just as we were about to knock on the door. I turned to Orlando, grinning brightly and seeing him do the same. He nodded and gestured for me to knock. I gave two sharp raps on the door and before even ten seconds had passed the door was flung open and immediately the two of us were surrounded by everyone else, being eloquently guided in the room by a swarm of them.

"Where have you been?" Kimberly asked me, her face flushed red, as if she had just finished a heated argument. "We were sure you had died!"

"We were all so worried,"

"We were all thinking the worst as you--"

"What ever happened?"

"The necklace? Where is it?"

Everyone was talking so fast and furious, demanding answers from Orlando and I that we just couldn't give fast enough to suit their needs. We could barely understand all of the conversations that were going on. We tried to hush them down, but to no avail. It was finally Klaus's cold, harsh voice that interrupted all of the voices and quieted them down.

"Where is Farley?" He demanded, pushing through the throng to step forward. He looked sharply from me to Orlando.

The color drained from my face as I thought of the appropriate response. Nothing came to mind, and I looked to Orlando for help relaying the news.

He raised his hands to cover his face as he spoke slowly and clearly, enunciating every word.

"Farley... is dead."