Begin to Hope

The next time I got to talk to Klaus was Thursday at midnight, during our next class. The class involved the Unforgivable Curses. I wasn't looking forward to the class, and it turned out I was right not to.

The rest of the students had already arrived by the time we found the right classroom. It was located in the very bottom of the school, in the deepest dungeon. Klaus insisted that we be both early and ready for this class, because the Dark Lord was teaching us, and Klaus was determined to go up another Level before the week was over.

I, however, was trembling.

"What if he reminds my mind?" I asked in a hushed whisper. It was my greatest fear. Even if he just scanned the room, I was sure he'd single me out. And of course, we were practicing the Unforgivable Curse. It's not like he would hesitate to kill me.

"He won't. Just don't think about it," Klaus replied, irritated with me. He was acting cool as a cucumber, but I had the feeling that he was almost as nervous as I was.

The only thing that made me feel better was the fact that this class was big, bigger than all of my other classes. While they had around twenty to twenty-five students, in this class, there were over a hundred kids, ranging in age from as young as nine to as old as twenty-two. Marcie and her brother were also in the class, sitting a little ways away from us.

I really couldn't wait to get out of the dirty old dungeon. Maverick had said he'd stay up and wait for us, as we didn't think we'd be out of here until about two or so in the morning. Maybe he'd make us soup...

A door slammed somewhere out in the hall. That was when we heard the first screams. A woman, maybe even a young girl, was shrieking her head off nearly right outside the door. She sounded like her fingernails were being ripped out one by one. It was rather horrifying to listen to.

Then all of the lights, save a few dim candles in the front of the room, went out, and talked ceased immediately.

Klaus spoke to me, but it was almost inaudible.

"He's coming..."

A chill went down my spine as the door opened slowly, creaking on its hinges.

A dark, cloaked-figure glided in the room and stood in front of the room, scrutinizing the students. I was afraid he'd hear my thoughts. I tried to close my mind off to him as best as I thought I could.

"Children..." he spoke in nearly a hiss, baring long white teeth. He stood gazing at us so long that I realized I had forgotten to breath. I exhaled shakily.

"Bring in the victims," the Dark Lord said, waving one pale hand towards the door.

Several other cloaked figures swept in the room, pulling along behind them three chained prisoners. One of them was the shrieking girl we had heard just a minute ago, although someone had placed a Silencing Charm on her. The other two captives consisted of an old feeble man, and a young boy, who couldn't have been older than Humphrey.

I gasped and brought a hand to my mouth. I leaned over to whisper to Klaus. "Are they going to--?"

"Sh!"

"I am not going to waste time here. I have many more important things to do than teach brats simple spellwork." He pointed to a boy near the front. "You there. Kill this man." The Dark Lord stepped back and motioned for the kid to attempt it.

The boy looked shocked at being asked to do something. He stepped forward and raised his wand. "Avada K-Kedavra!!" he stuttered the incantation, as if he didn't really want to kill the harmless old man.

And of course, because he didn't want to hurt the man, the spell didn't work. The old man flinched, but not a thing happened to him. Thankfully.

"Stupefy!" The Dark Lord cast his spell at the boy, who tumbled to the ground in a flash of red light. With a sigh, he gestured for the Death Eaters to move the child's body out of the way.

"You see, when one does not do as I say, I get angry. And you do not want me to be angry... do you?"

Most of the students shook their heads, incapable of actually audibly responding. I would be willing to be that nearly all of them had never been in the Dark Lord's presence before, even if they had lived here for years.

"However, I only stunned him into oblivion. I didn't kill him. After all, I'm not a ruthless killer. I would never murder a young child..." With a glance towards the three prisoners, especially the young boy, he replied to himself, "Oh wait... yes I would."

A few of the Death Eaters laughed obnoxiously.

The Dark Lord slowly walked around the front of the classroom, getting out his wand and examining it slowly.

"When you perform an Unforgivable Curse, you have to mean it. You need one specific intention in mind, and you need to feel it, with everything that you are." He turned swiftly and raised his wand. "Crucio!"

Immediately the young woman started shrieking in a fit of pain. The Death Eaters dropped her and she fell to the floor, writhing and screaming. It was terrible to behold. Several students turned their faces away, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I found I had grabbed Klaus's hand and I was gripping it rather tightly.

The Dark Lord let up, and the woman lay on the ground, breathing heavily, as if she knew more was coming. And she was right.

The Dark Lord sent another blast of pain her way, and she gave out a blood-curling cry. Tears fell from her eyes as she went through unimaginable amounts of pain.

The Dark Lord lowered his wand once again, and the room was deathly quiet except for the girl's wracked sobs.

When she finally caught enough breath to speak, she pushed herself up onto her arms and cried out, "You make me sick, Tom Riddle! I may not be able to take this pain, but I'm not afraid of you! You insignificant, bastard child of a--"

The Dark Lord moved so quickly, I barely even saw him--but I needed to stop him, I couldn't just--

"AVA-"

"No!"

I wondered who had stopped him from uttering the Killing Curse, until everyone turned to look at me and I realized I was the one that had screamed out loud.

"Yes?" The Dark Lord looked at me, seemingly more bemused than angry.

"I--I just--" I didn't know what to say. Maybe I should hex him. "I thought maybe a student should do it. To show us how it's done."

"Ah, yes! An excellent idea. Any takes?" He looked around the room, but everyone shrunk from his view, not eager to be put in the spotlight and maybe even hexed like that first boy. "No? Then how about you try it yourself, Miss Truth."

I swear I turned a shade of pale green at that second.

"Oh, no! I don't think I--"

"But why not?" He had a twisted smile on his face, and I knew he wasn't going to let me get out of this one.

"But I--"

"OH, but I insist." He beckoned with one hand for me to step forward, and before I knew it I was standing up and walking towards the front of the room.

"Now stand here, like this," he showed me the correct stance, "And say the spell clearly and loudly."

I looked at the young woman, who had now been dragged to her feet by the two Death Eaters who stood on either side of her. She was struggling vainly to release herself. Even as she gazed at me, I could see the hate in her eyes.

I wanted to tell her--no, I'm not bad! I'm on your side! I hate him as much as you do! Please don't hate me for this!

I wished I could open my mind for only her to see, so she could see where my true loyalties lie. And they weren't with Voldemort.

"What are you waiting for?" The Dark Lord breathed in my ear. "If you do it wrong--I may be forced to use it on you."

I felt as if I could cry. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to kill this poor girl!

And yet, if I didn't--I would be put in her place.

Please don't hate me. I'm sorry! I thought to her as hard as I could, before raising my wand, pointing, and speaking the words.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A shot of green light hit the girl and she tumbled to the floor.

The room started to applaud, and the Dark Lord clapped a hand on my shoulder in congratulations.

After a few more minutes of instruction, and the death of the old man and the boy, he let us go.

As soon as we were out of the dungeon and out of earshot of the class, I burst into tears.

Klaus pulled me back into a secluded corner, trying to hush me up.

"There, there, don't cry," he gave me a half-hearted hug. He seemed to be slightly embarrassed by my actions.

"You handled it as well as anyone," Klaus conjured up a handkerchief and gave it to me.

"But I--I didn't want to kill her! I wanted to save her!"

"Sh, I know. Don't cry. It's alright."

"No, it's not, Klaus!" I sniffed. "I don't want to be here anymore! I don't want to be killing people! Why don't we just go home? There's nothing for us to do here. There's no way for us to change anything of this." I waved an arm around. "It's completely useless..."

I wiped up my tears with one hand and looked at Klaus for his reaction.

He took a step closer and looked right down at me. For one long, odd moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. He had a strange little smile on his face, and he reached up a hand, like he was going to touch my cheek, but at the last moment he turned and said, "Let's go back and see if Maverick is still awake."

I followed him back to the dormitory slowly, feeling rather curious. I had a mixture of feelings exploding inside me. I had actually been nervous when he took the step closer to me, and I--well, maybe I had almost wanted to--to--

"You guys are back already?" Maverick opened the door and greeted us in only grey flannel pajama pants. There was lipstick all over his face, and there was a girl blatantly hiding under the covers of his bed.

"Please get her out immediately," Klaus said, pushing past him to get to the other side of the room.

"Sorry, snookums. Another time, then." Maverick ushered the poor girl out of the room and then turned to us. "Sorry," he grinned sheepishly. "Didn't know you'd be back so early."

"It doesn't matter," Klaus told him. "Listen," and he quickly told Maverick what had happened in class.

"You killed a girl?!"

"But you don't know what it was like!" I cried out, and they both hushed me. "Voldemort was standing right behind me, breathing down my neck, and he told me 'if you don't kill her, I'll kill you', so what could I have done?"

"You could have hexed him!" Maverick shouted.

"Actually, I thought about doing that."

"So why didn't you?"

"Because everyone else in the room is a Dark Lord supporter, and if I would have struck him down right there, everyone else would have been all over me!"

"Hm," Klaus mused, "you're right."

"But guys--this has made me come to a conclusion. It made me think, and really -- what are we doing here? I mean, we're just kids. We think we can save the world? Kill Voldemort ourselves? Stop every single person in this castle? I don't think so. I just--I think it's a lost cause."

"Kerry, you're just tired. Why don't you go to sleep and Maverick and I will come up with a plan?"

"But Klaus, I just don't--I just don't think it's worth it."

He sighed and gave me a look of longing. "I promise--sleep on it tonight, and by tomorrow I'll come up with a plan. Please. Just give me tonight, and I promise I'll know what I'm doing by tomorrow."

I considered it for a moment. "Alright, fine. But tomorrow you need to have a solid plan, or else we're going home."

"Deal." We shook on it, and then got ready for bed.

I fell into a restless sleep, and had nightmares the entire night. Horrible, vivid dreams of Voldemort kissing me, and me killing Klaus...