Begin to Hope

When I woke up, I thought I was in Heaven. For that first split second, while I was lying there, with those seemingly bright lights shining down on me, I just layed there and thought, "Man, now that I'm dead, I don't have to worry about anything!"

But I opened my eyes--they oddly enough felt rather heavy, and it was a strain to open them--and found I was still in Voldemort's castle, laying on the cold stone floor.

I sat up and glanced around, noticing that the hall was empty. I appeared to be all alone. The halls were deafeningly quiet without the sound of battle going on about me.

I stood up and began to explore, looking for someone to tell me what was going on. The battle had definitely gone on; the markings of a fight clearly showed in every room I wandered into. Windows smashed and broken; chairs, desks, couches, ripped apart and moved around; holes in the walls and ceiling. The place was a mess.

I wondered vaguely for a moment whether or not we had won. Even if we had, it didn't seem to matter now. It seemed to me that I was...

"Dead." A familiar voice said behind me, as if he had read my thoughts.

I whipped around and there Maverick was, standing at the end of the hall, watching me, with a sly smile on his face, playing with his wand.

"Maverick!" I screamed, bolting down the hall towards him.

"No, don't!" he shouted, holding up his arms as if to shoo me away. "Don't touch me. I'm afraid I'll disappear if you touch me."

"Oh," I replied, retreating, but still looking at him shyly. I couldn't believe he was there, at least. I glanced around the castle again. I breathed out uneasily. "Are we dead?"

He smirked and began to throw his wand in the air and catch it again, not answering me. "What do you think?"

"I think we are."

He shrugged. "I know I'm definitely dead. I saw my mom a little while ago. She seemed pretty happy to see me."

"Oh, Maverick! I'm sorry." I took a step closer to him, but still maintaining a large distance. "Have you seen Klaus?"

"Oh, yeah, I heard a rumor he had arrived," he replied offhandedly. "He'll probably be along shortly to talk to you."

A heaviness impaled itself upon my chest and I found it difficult to breathe. So it was true. Klaus was dead, Maverick and I were dead...I would have said there was nothing to live for, but I wasn't living anyway.

A long silence ensued, as I sat thinking and Maverick examined me, looking me up and down.

I interrupted the silence with a sad regret. "I'm sorry I didn't kill Orlando when I had the chance. Maybe then you'd still be alive."

He shrugged again. "It doesn't matter much now, does it? He got away. And Voldemort hasn't been up for a visit, so I don't think he's entirely dead either."

I forced a weak smile. "But he wouldn't be coming this way, would he?"

Maverick looked at me quizzically, but didn't respond.

"So, it's true, then. We are dead. Only what do we do now? Is this it? For the rest of eternity, this is what we get to do?"

"Nah, we get to visit everyone. I stopped by to see Farley, actually, and he told me he was proud of me." he beamed at me. "And Greg's alright. A little shaken, and everything, but fine. And--" he grimaced, "Tally got here a little while ago."

I sighed unhappily. "We should have saved them. Everyone. But if Voldemort is still living--"

"I get the feeling he isn't, even if I haven't seen him. There's a pary going on down the hall -- our parents and such."

My face lit up. "Really? Could I--am I allowed to wander around? Visit my mum and dad?"

"Oh, I wouldn't. The owner of this place has to come visit you first--talk to you about things. See what you've done with your life, and such. He should have been here to greet you, but since he took his time, I showed up."

"What do you think life will be like down there, without the threat of Voldemort looming over everyone's shoulders? Pretty neat, wouldn't you say?"

He nodded. "Peaceful. I wish I could have been there to live through the peaceful times," he said ruefully.

I stared at him a long moment, and while I did, I noticed he flickered, as if he was a bad television station coming in with lots of static.

"Are you--?" I peered at him.

He looked down at himself. A surprised look came over his face, and he watched his hands grow faintly lighter. "Oh, that's my call to go!" He began to walk back the way he had came. "I guess I'll see you around, Kerry." he called over his shoulder.

"Wait, Maverick!" I yelled out, wishing he could stay longer.

He turned. "Yes?"

"Thanks for...being there. For being my best friend."

A huge smile lit up his face and he said the same to me, before turning and walking away. Just like that, he disappeared right in front of my eyes.

I moaned and sank to my knees, my head in my hands. I felt dirty, gross, and I realized I hadn't showered in a long time, but then I realized that it didn't matter. Nothing mattered now. I was dead.

"Dead," I whispered out loud. "Dead dead dead!"

"Let me guess: dead dead dead." A voice said behind me.

I whirled around, and screamed at the sight before me.

"Klaus!" I went to greet him, to embrace him, to show him how much he meant to me--but he stopped me before I could touch him.

"Didn't Maverick tell you? You can't touch us, or we'll disappear."

"But why is that?" I moaned wistfully. I reached a hand out, inches from his face, longing to close the gap between our lips. I hesitated before asking, "Can we still get married here?"

He shook his head. "Those types of ceremonies aren't done here. It's mostly just a...floating...sort of existence."

I was ready to cry again. "Oh, Klaus, I wish we both weren't dead. I wish it more than anything!" I closed my eyes and literally it felt as if my heart was going to break. When I opened my eyes, everything looking hazy, and the world appeared to be spinning.

He stared down at me, a funny expression on his face. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. I placed my lips on his and gave him a soft kiss. But instead of disappearing, as I thought he would, he was very real, and very solid. And in a very real way, he kissed back.

He pulled away after a minute and looked over my head, to one of the hallways. "She's alive!"

Multiple cries sprang from the hallway, where half a dozen people jumped out and greeted me.

"But--I'm--how? You're alive? I'm alive? So what did--then is Maverick here?" I looked around, excited, expecting to see my best friend jump out of the shadows as well.

Klaus's face clouded over. "No, Kerry, he's dead..."

"Then how are we alive? I just--was that just a dream? When did it end being a dream?" I felt myself slip from his grasp and back down to the floor, letting myself sink into a stupor.

Humphrey knelt beside me. "What was a dream?"

"Maverick--he's not alive! I was talking to him--but it wasn't real. It wasn't real..." I let Humphrey embrace me and I began gasping into his shoulder, unable to cry anymore.

"What's wrong with her?"

"What is she talking about?"

I ignored the many whispers behind me.

"Did anyone find Maverick's body?"

Except that one.

"It wasn't found?" I whispered, my voice gravelly. "You didn't find him?"

Humphrey shook his head fearfully, watching my expression.

I swore loudly, but that was just the beginning of my emotions. There were other things that I couldn't possibly have said out loud, and so I left it to that.

"Can I be left alone?" I asked meekly, looking around at the rest of them. "Except, Klaus...come with me."

One by one the others slowly left and when they had gone, Klaus helped me to my feet and we walked outside. I wanted to feel free. I wanted to feel the winter breeze on my face and realize that I was still alive. It was something hard to come to terms with when you were locked in a stuffy castle with dead bodies strewn everywhere.

"How did we survive?"

"I--I gave you the stone. The stone of the necklace. The Solium Stone, as it were." I glanced down at the ring still on my fourth finger.

"This saved me?" I asked, twirling it.

"Yes."

"So how did you survive, then? You were hit by the Killing Curse too, I saw it!"

"I had the actual necklace with me. All I took out of it was the stone."

"But that was enough to protect you?"

"I guess so."

"That doesn't even make sense."

He didn't respond. We walked along in silence. There was no more shouting or fighting going on, and the air was peaceful. Snow graced the branches of the trees among where we walked, and I found it to be rather calming.

"And--Voldemort?"

"He got away. Well--he escaped with Orlando's help."

At the sound of his name, I began to shake. Like fingernails on a black board, shivers went down my spine and I could feel my cheeks going hot.

"I hate him."

"Who, Voldemort?"

"No. Orlando." I paused before admitting, "It's my fault Maverick's dead."

"No, it's not. It's nobody's fault."

"It is. I didn't kill Orlando when I had the chance."

"They were the only two that got away. I made sure of that. All of the other Death Eaters are either dead or chained. I found a list of everyone living in the castle and everyone is accounted for."

"But what if Orlando manages to heal him? What if they come back? What if--"

"If, if, if! He's as good as dead, Kerry. There's nothing really to worry about. He has no more followers, now. They realize that he's gone."

"But isn't that what they said when Harry Potter was born? His followers were all jailed... but he came back, stronger than ever, and created more damage than anyone could ever have dreamed of."

His voice took on an irritated tone. "Kerry, don't worry about it! We're going to be fine now. Annabelle and I were planning what we're going to--oh, Kerry!" He looked down at me and realized my eyes were streaming with tears. Ever so softly he wrapped his arms around me and held me for a long moment. I let him hold me, not ever wanting him to let go, to just feel secure forever in his arms.

He murmured something to the back of my head, but I didn't quite catch it.

Through my tears, I whispered, "Sorry?"

"I love you, Kerry. I'm sorry you think it's your fault... because it's not. If I could do anything to change your mind, I would." he pulled away from my just long enough to look into my eyes, and I could see that he really meant it. He didn't blame me at all for Maverick's death. "It's Orlando's fault. Orlando is the one who killed him. And we'll get him back for that. One day."

I smiled weakly. "You mean it?"

"Of course," he replied. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me softly.

"Now, then, let me tell you exactly what Annabelle and I were talking about..." Klaus took my hand and we began to walk and talk. He told me of the planned reopening of Hogwarts, of the reestablishment of the Ministry of Magic and the foundation of the United Wizarding Alliance, a program that would unite the rest of the wizards in the world. He told me of the plan to scour the world for Voldemort's hiding spot, and that we would not rest until someone had found him and he had been captured. We talked about everything we could think of, and then, as it had to, the conversation came to the topic of us.

"Klaus... did you really mean it, about us? Giving me the ring? Or was that just so I'd put it on and could possibly be saved?"

He blushed. "Well--I--the offer is still open... and will always be open, actually. But if you don't--I mean,"

I stopped him from making a fool of himself anymore by giving him another kiss--a kiss full of passion, one that made the world spin and me glad that Klaus was holding me up, for my knees felt like giving out, and I realized that there was no place I'd rather be than with him.

Pulling away, I looked up at him with all the love I could muster, and he looked down at me dazed.

"So... is that a yes?"

I laughed and nodded, and we headed back to the castle to begin the rest of our lives together.

And it's not so much that I'm angry at Orlando for taking Maverick away from me, but more mad at myself that I couldn't do anything to stop it. I always wonder if the conversation Maverick and I had was real, or just a hallucination I had. If it was a hallucination... well, I just wish that Maverick knows that I treasured and loved him, and I wish it hadn't had to end like that, so quickly, without a goodbye.

One day, though, I know we'll catch Voldemort and Orlando, and then they can get what's coming to them. And when that day comes... well, they'd better be ready. But until then, all I can do is begin to hope that Maverick is in a better place, with Tally and Greg and Farley and all of our relatives that have left this world, and that he knows that I love and miss him, and I hope against hope that he can forgive me.