Green Day Baby

I feel something patting my forehead. I open my eyes slowly.
"BWAH!" Rosie squeals happily. She stayed in my room, I made her a makeshift bed out of Tre's disturbing sweat, sofa cushion and a couple of pillows. "Bwah."
"I'm up, I'm up," I chuckle at her excitement. I take her hand and walk with her out of my room and into the living room. I open the fridge to see what we have food wise. I find an orange and glance back at the baby. She had some teeth. I peel the orange and give her a slice. She takes to it right away and eats it in two second flat. She reaches up toward me so I give her another piece.

"What's up?" Mike yawns as he enters the main part of the apartment.
"Rosie likes oranges," I say handing her another piece. "It's like her drug."
"Yeah okay," Mike mumbles as he goes to sit in front of the TV.
"My!" Rosie squeals running up to him. He goes to pick her up and she hugs him tightly.
"And I just go forgotten," I laugh.
"Argh! She crapped," Mike says displeased.
"You gotta change her," I say smugly.
"What?"
"She ran up to you, so you have to change her." He rolls his eyes and heads over to the pile of her stuff that Tre put in the corner and grabs a diaper and carries her off to the washroom. I finish off the orange and sit on the couch to watch TV.

"And she's changed," Mike says proudly as he plops the baby girl on my lap. She giggles. "You gotta buy more diapers dude, ew I never thought I'd say that." I just laugh.
"Yeah I guess," I say glancing at the corner. Mike, Rosie and I sit around watching TV for a while until Tre gets up.
"Tay!" Rosie says happily.
"Argh, there's my girl," Tre says excitedly as he goes to pick her up. I never thought I'd see three men so ecstatic about a baby, so cheesy.
"Tre you work today," Mike reminds him.
"Work sucks," Tre pouts. "I'll become a stay at home guardian."
"Sure," I say rolling my eyes, "Who's going to pay your share of the rent then?"
"Uh, fuck," Tre mutters as he puts Rosie back on the couch. "Off to work it is."
"Blah, me too," Mike mumbles as he goes to his room as well. Rosie reaches for her empty baby bottle then looks at me with pleading eyes. I grab the bottle and head to the kitchen where I wash it out and fill it with the remaining milk in the carton.

"Bye," Mike says heading out.
"Wait!" Tre calls after him, "You bastard! You're supposed to give a lift." And with that the apartment goes silent again. I sit Rosie in front of the TV then go to the washroom to take a shower. After my shower I find her exactly where I left her watching Sesame Street.

"C'mon Rosie, we have to go buy stuff," I say as I pluck her away from the idiot box. I go over to the pile of clothes and pick her out a pink shirt and overalls. She doesn't fight me when I try to dress her. I remember my nephew would put up the fight of his life when I'd try to put him in his pajamas. Despite my efforts I can't find her shoes, if she even has any so I put two pairs of sock on her. I find her sweater and put it on her. She waits patiently as I put on my shoes, jacket and baseball cap which I proudly wear backwards. I pick her up and head down the stairs.

She giggles as I jump the last step. I step outside and the cold winter wind hits our faces and she starts to cry.
"Rosie," I sigh as I try to cover face as best as possible. I walk briskly down the street to the corner store. I grab one of those small carts and put her in the seat and make my way through the store. I basically get cereal and a bunch of canned foods, gigs don't pay much so we can basically only afford canned food. I go to get diapers then head to the cash.

"Wow," the cashier says as I put the stuff on the counter.
"What?" I ask distractedly.
"Nothing, it's just you're so young."
"Huh?" then Rosie lets out a loud squeal. "Oh! Oh no, she's not mine. I'm just babysitting."
"Oh okay," the cashier laughs as she starts to scan the items. "I should've figured." She totals everything up and I pay, a whole gig's worth gone in ten minutes. I grab Rosie and the bags and head outside into the cold wind.

She whines a little as I hurry back up the street but I get back to the apartment pretty damn quick, nearly tripped over my own foot in the process. I climb up the stairs and fumble my way into the apartment. I place Rosie on the sofa and turn on the TV before heading into the kitchen to put everything away.

By the time I finish putting all the food where it belongs, I find that Rosie had fallen asleep on the couch watching some mindless cartoon. I sit on the couch bored out of my mind so I start drumming my hands against my legs when it hits me. Today is Thursday, Adie doesn't have classes on Thursdays.

I guess you could say Adie is my girlfriend. Her full name is Adrienne, she lives across the country in Minnesota though, so that sucks. She's in college right now, but after college she says she wants to move here to California. I sure as hell hope she does, we planned tours around Minnesota just so I could see her. I get up and grab the phone and dial the number that I memorized from repetition. It rings a couple of times then it answers.
"Hiya!" a hyper girl's voice says, this wasn't Adie, it was her roommate.
"Hey, is Adie there."
"Oh hi Billie," she says slyly, god this girl's annoying, "Hold on." I wait a couple of moments.
"Hey babe," the familiar soothing voice rings through my ear.
"Hey my lovely," I say laughing lightly. "How have you been?"
"Uhh, well classes, we didn't learn anything interesting in Human Sexuality so don't ask," she laughs, oh god I love her laugh. "Oh my Social Sciences teacher had a heart attack so we have a replacement teacher. Let's just say, human sprinkler."
"Argh." I laugh, "I hope you're not in the front row."
"I wasn't, then I got caught with my walkman so he said he wanted me close to the door in case I felt the need to listen to music, I should go in the hallway."
"Prick."
"Tell me about it."

"Bwah!" Rosie cries.
"What was that?" Adie demands.
"It's Rosie."
"Who?!" she asks slightly pissed as I got to pick up the crying baby.
"Adeena's baby."
"Who's Adeena?" I could tell she's irritated with me now. "Billie Joe, what the hell is going on?!"
"Hold on ten seconds and I'll tell you," I say trying to balance Rosie and the phone. I sit on the couch and put Rosie on my lap causing her to stop crying. "Alright," I sigh, "Okay first things first, Adeena's my neighbor."
"Okay," she says still irritated.
"I have never even kissed her no less anything sexual, okay?"
"Yeah," she says calming down a bit.
"Anyway, she has this baby girl and since the evening before yesterday this kid has been crying non stop. So yesterday I got so pissed I went over there to see what was happening and I found Adeena passed out on her couch with a syringe in her arm. Rosie was in a puke soaked pajama and her diaper had over flowed."
"Oh."
"I couldn't just leave her there, the apartment was ice cold and-"
"Billie it's okay," she says calmly, "So what's going to happen now?"
"Not sure, Adeena will sober up in a couple of days and come for Rosie."
"Yeah." Adie says slowly.
"What?"
"Won't history just repeat itself," I let out a sigh.
"I hope not."
"Well babe, I have to go to work, got the shifts rearranged," Adie sighs, "I'll call you tonight."
"Looking forward to it," I say knowing full well how cheesy I sound, "Love ya."
"Love ya. Bye," she says and the phone goes dead.

"No phone sex for me," I groan as I rest my head back. "Argh!" I yell as I smell really nasty feces. "You crapped!" she lets out a faint whine. I carry her into the washroom and changer her diaper before going back to the living room with her.

"Bwah!" she says touching my leg. I look at her big blue eyes and I can't help but laugh. I pat my chest, "Billie." She doesn't seem to react, then it hits me, Tre, Mike are one syllable while Billie is two. "Bill."
"foogoo." She says clapping her hands. I pat my chest again.
"Bill."
"Bew." I laugh in excitement. "Bew! Bew! Bew!"

I point to her, "Rosie."
"Oh-seee." She laughs as she pats her own chest. She slaps my leg "Bew!" she reaches for her baby bottle, "Bew!"
"Juice?" I say holding it up. She nods eagerly and claps her hands. I head into the kitchen and fill her bottle with juice.

"Juice," I say handing her the bottle.
"jew, jew, joose." she stutters as she puts it to her mouth. As I go to sit down a jab my foot against the coffee table.
"FUCK!" I yell in pain as I grab my foot.
"Fug!" she squeals as she grabs her own foot, "Fug, fug. Fug."
"Oh no," I say running a hand through my hair. I hold my foot up, "Foot, foot."
"Fug." she laughs. "Fug."
"Foot," I persist but give up just as Tre walks into the apartment.

"Tay! Tay!" Rosie squeals as she jumps up and down.
"Hey Rosie," he says scooping her up. She points at me.
"Bew."
"Hey she finally got your name," he teases.
"Also taught her how to say juice and fuck." Tre bursts out laughing as he sits on the sofa with Rosie on his lap. Rosie grabs her foot.
"Fug!"

I sort of daze out for a bit as Tre plays some messed up version of patty cake with Rosie. I remember Rosie was born in either spring or summer, so she must be a year and half almost two now. What a sucky life, your first year of life and you're already being neglected. Yet now she can laugh so easily, I almost wish the Tre, Mike and I could take care of her now because Adeena was not anywhere near being a good enough parent.
"Rosie, where are you going?" Tre asks as he follows her down the hallway.
"My, My, My." She calls as she looks into Tre and Mike's room. "My?"
"Mike isn't here." Tre says scooping her up. "Here lets have lunch."

"Tre, don't you finish work at four?"
"Power failure," he says getting out the jar of apple sauce. "Because of all the wind." I nod slowly as he fills a bowl with apple sauce and hands it to the toddler along with a spoon. She sits herself on the floor and messily spoons the food into her mouth. I roll my eyes and go up to her and put a dish towel around her neck so she doesn't spill all over herself.

"Did you buy beefaroni?" Tre asks as he looks through the cans of Chef Boyardee. "Ah here it is." He opens the can and dumps the contents into a bowl and pops it into the microwave, fairly routine. "Hey Bill, you gonna eat?"
"Nah, not hungry."
"Dude you look like a stick man," he mocks, "And your pale as hell."
"Stop acting like my mom," I say rolling my eyes as I grab the last apple out of the fridge. "See I'm eating mother dearest." I go back to my rightful place on the couch and go back to watching some really lame talk show. The microwave dings and Tre proudly retrieves his food and sits next to me. He starts eating his food silently.

"Bew! Tay!" Rosie squeals as she runs up to us. She climbs up on the sofa and stares at me for a moment then at Tre. She stands up on the seat cushion and grabs a piece of beefaroni out of Tre's bowl and eats it.
"Hey!" Tre exclaims. He hates it when people takes his food. Rosie just giggles. "Billie, did you see what she did!"
"No, I didn't see anything."
"She took my food!" Suddenly the TV turns off. "Fuck."
"Urgh," I whine as I throw my head back.

"Hey guys," Mike says entering the apartment, "Fuck, no power here either."
"Just went out," I mumble as Rosie walks up to the TV and starts hitting the buttons.
"My!" Rosie exclaims as she runs up to him and hugs his leg. He picks her up and sits her on his hip.
"So what do we do know, building is going to get colder than a witch's teet," Mike says as he looks over at Tre and I.
"Call someone up, see if we can crash at their place," I say reaching for the phone, I put it to my ear and luckily the phone lines are still working.
"Call Lawrence!" Tre exclaims. Rosie squeals, "Shit, can't take Rosie to Lawrence's."
"Umm." I say thinking, its only now that I realize that all my friends are druggies.
"What about your mom?" Tre asks cocking an eyebrow. I dial the number to my mom's house, even if there was no power there's a fire place in the living room. The phone just keeps ringing.
"She's probably still at work," I mumble.
"You got a key?" Mike asks as he finally gets tired of standing and slumps on the couch.
"I think so," I mumble as I head to my room. I open my top drawer and dig through it till I find the shiny piece of metal. "Found it!"

"YAY!" Tre yelps. We get ready to leave, including bringing along some diapers and stuff for Rosie. We get into Mike's pick up, Mike drives and Tre sits in the middle holding Rosie in his lap. Rosie laughs the whole way, clapping her hands and pointing at random stuff.

We finally pull up in front of my child hood home.
"Look there's power," Mike says pointing the porch light. We pile out of the car and head up to the door. I unlock it and we make ourselves comfortable in the living room. We spend a better part of the afternoon watching TV until my mom gets home.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asks looking us over.
"Major power failure downtown," I say as she comes up to me and hugs me.
"You look pale."
"Mom, I'm fine," I mumble, Tre just snickers.
"Gah!" Rosie squeals.
"Please tell me that's not a baby."
"Technically she's a toddler," Mike laughs.
"Would anyone like to tell me what the hell is going on?"
"Well Ollie, its quite simple," Tre says proudly, my mom just rolls her eyes, "You see we have a neighbor named Adeena and she's one crazy bitch. Anyway Rosie is her daughter and she's been neglecting her to inject herself with heroine so we've been taking care of her for the past couple of days."
"So none of you are fathers?" my mother says making sure.
"No," I say rolling my eyes, "Just under-paid babysitters."

"Well I take it you're staying for supper." My mom says looking them over. Tre nods earnestly. "How's chicken soup sound?"
"Sure," Mike says getting up, "I'll help you."
"I'll just make myself a bowl cereal," I say casually.
"Oh no Billie." My mom lectures. "You're going to eat some hardy soup."
"I'm vegetarian."
"Then you can pick out the chicken."

I realize Tre had fallen awfully quiet then I see Rosie had fallen asleep on him.
"Billie," he whispers.
"Yeah."
"I really, really gotta piss." I try to contain my laughter as I carefully pick Rosie up and lie her on the sofa cushion next to me. Tre runs to the washroom and returns minutes later.
"Enjoy yourself?" I snicker.
"Shut it," he mumble as he rests his hand on Rosie's back.
"She's not going anywhere you know."
"Don't want her to fall off the couch," he mumbles as he pretends to be more interested with the weather man on TV.

"Soups ready!" Mike announces as he comes into the room. Tre glances at Rosie. I get up and stretch as Mike crouches down to couch level. He touches her arm gently. "Rosie, Rosie." The toddler's eyes flutter open.
"My." She wraps her arms around his neck. He picks her up and we head into the kitchen where everyone's bowl of soup is set. We all take a seat and Mike puts Rosie on his lap. He puts a spoon in her hand and she starts to eat her soup while the rest of us get to ours.

"So how's Green Day?" My mom asks.
"Kerplunk is almost finished," Tre says proudly.
"So, are you guys going to tour again this summer."
"That's the plan," Mike states.
"Will I get to hear any of these songs, your last album was written in the garage so I heard everything but since you moved out-"
"All the songs are about Adrienne," Tre teases, I kick him under the table, "OW!"
"Are not ALL about Adie."
"So you're still keeping in touch with her?"
"Yeah Mom," I mumble, "She's planning on moving to Oakland this summer."
"Oh well that's nice," she says smiling.