Dear You

Dear Hunter,

You're in heaven right now, at least I think you are, but I just want to write this letter to get everything off of my chest and lift the weight that is on my shoulders. You were like an older brother to me, and you were there most of the time when I was crashing. You were my lifeline, my rock. I relied on you and you seemed to be there for me, and you gave me the support I needed when it came down to my piece of shit boyfriends I've had in the past around you. You were always giving me advice on what to do and what not to do, and you always made me feel a whole heck of a lot better. You called me beautiful when I felt ugly, and you called me amazing when I was feeling like shit. You, being one of my first friends and all, meant the world to me. I had a slight crush on you in the beginning, but after that was over you were still like my older brother, the one I was suppose to have. I know, being in Canada and all, we'd not see a lot of each other, but that's perfectly fine with me. In a way, not a bad one, I'm kind of glad you didn't suffer when you got in the accident. But God, do I feel so dumb for not believing Kevin when he told me at first. Later that night it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had lost you, and you were gone for good. Never again will I get to talk to you, and I'll never have my main rock or lifeline to rely on for when I feel like dying. That driver that hit you, it makes my heart churn thinking about it now, I know he wasn't drunk, but I still feel as though it was his fault. His fault for losing control of his car, and his fault for smashing into you and shoving your car up against that wall, causing whatever it was to puncture your lung and make you die on impact. The day Kevin told me you were gone, that everyone had lost you, I didn't know what to do. I acted like I didn't care all that much but you and I both know, well would know, that I very much did, and still do. I miss you, Hunter, and I'll miss you. You've made such an impact on my life, and you've made my heart feel a little less-heavier than it had before, and I thank you for that. I thank you for everything you've done with and for me, and everything you did with others. I feel so bad for Sarah, she hasn't talked since she found out, you know? Or so Kevin told me. The day you died, a lot of people loss someone dear. Not just me, or Kevin, or Sarah, but Max, Hannah, Jessii and Michelle all lost someone they cared for, someone they loved in any given shape or form. I haven't had to deal with a close, close friend dying before, but now I know how it feels. And it feels like a whole brick wall came tumbling down, smashing you in the process. I miss the fact that you'd give me hugs whenever we saw each other, and you'd reassure me that everything was going to be okay, even when I doubted life so much. It was 'everyone can rely on Hunter for some comfort' with you. I never expected more or less from you, and you for I. You were a best friend, a boyfriend, an older-brother figure, a brother, and all important, a life savor. I hope you're up in heaven, looking down on us all, and especially me, writing this silly letter that I know no one will probably ever have a second look at, smiling at us all. I know you still have hopes for us, and I pray to God that you know I still love you, and still care for you as much as I did. And I, just like all of your/our friends, will keep you in our prayers(and if we don't pray, then our mindset) and see you in everything. We will all miss you, and cherrish all of the memories we have shared together throughout the ears.

Rest in Peace, Hunter.

Love, your crazy-little sister/friend, Emily.