I'm Not Okay I Promise

I heard noises, there was one familiar voice which I was guessing was Nia. She's my friend and all but I hate her for ruining me and Ian's 'time' alone. I hear Ian's voice, after that I heard footsteps, I'm guessing that they went to Yellow Cab again, since they have discounts. I placed my hand on the doorknob and I opened the door. I stood up and I headed out, on my way back to my dorm, I saw Gerard, I started running.

He saw me, our eyes just met for a second, then I began to run faster, trying to avoid him, his face, his eyes, his voice. His touch...

"Terri." He said, I didn't look back at him, he was chasing me.

"I told you, I need some space." I said plainly as I started to walk again, I knew that running would make him exhausted. and it worked, I turned to my left, on my way through the park.

"Terri... Please... Let-" He said and I turned to face him.

"Now tell me Gerard, are you just using me as your slut?! Do you plan on fucking me and leaving me all messed up after that?! If that's all that you want from me, then you must be a total ass!" I spat, he raised an eyebrow and I sighed.

"You want me to refresh your memory?" I asked with an annoyed tone, how could he possibly forget?! He just told me about her days ago!

"Sure." He said, with a smile. A smile?!

"Uh... You told me that two days ago. You know, you loving someone else." I told him and he opened his mouth, I can imagine him with a light bulb above his head now.

"Oh, I was being poetic that night." He said and I gave him a puzzled look.

"What? You? Poetic?" I started to laugh and he shrugged.

"Anyway... That girl I was talking about was you." He said. Me, wow! I didn't see that coming.

"Ok, you're confusing me." I said and he sighed, he went closer to where I was standing.

"I told you that she was close but far away didn't I?" He asked and I nodded.

"Ok, that was you... You're close as in a close friend of mine, but you're also far away... You know that I love you don't you?" He paused, I nodded. "You're still with Brad so I figured that you're not that close." He said, it was all making sense to me now.

"Oh, sorry about the over dramatic shit... The ignoring you and the shouting at you this morning." I said.

"Well it's not your fault. It's mine. Actually." He said and I snorted.

"You're right, we better stop with the deep and puzzling words, since... Some of us get confused!" I told him and he sighed.

"Yeah, I'll stop this bullshit. Starting-"

"Now!" I told him as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"No lips?" He asked, I posed like I was thinking.

"For all the poetic-ism and the confusion you gave me and the world right now... Maybe, no!" I told him as I started to run to the east where my dormitory was located.

"Bye Terri." He said as he stood there, his figure getting smaller and farther for me to see.

"Bye Gerard!" I shouted while I ran, hoping that he would still hear me. I reached the front gates of the dorm, I went in and ran straight to my room. Who would have thought that Gerard would be all poetic that day.

"Where have you been? You seemed to have forgotten about the depression stuff earlier on?" Nia said as I sat down on my chair, smiling.

"I've been walking around, been to the park... You?" I asked.

"Went to Yellow Cab with Ian." She said, I already know. I just wanted to ask.

"Oh..." I said as I threw a pillow on my face, I want to sleep. I've been sleepless last night, I'm glad I managed to wake up early this morning or I might have kept Ian waiting for me outside my room.

"Uh Nia, can I have my sleep now?" I asked her, she nodded.

"Yeah, why not?" She asked.

"You know, you might think that I'm awake, then you'll keep on talking. After that you'll get mad at me for not listening since I'm asleep." I told her, she shrugged.

"Sure, you should get some rest. Well then, have a nice sleep." Nia said as she headed outside. Finally! I can close my eyes and drift away into my dreams! I woke up an hour later, I feel recharged even if I just took a rest for about an hour. I opened my eyes as I heard the lock click.

"Who is it?!" I said as I sat up, quite relieved to see Ian.

"You should stop sneaking up on me like that... You're giving me a heart attack!" I told him as I threw a pillow on his face.

"Hey." He said as he ran to my bed, giving me kisses.

"Ian, I need to call Brad." I told him, he stopped.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I miss him." I told him. Stupid Terri! Now he's hurt!

"Oh." He said, just as I thought... He's hurt!

"Ian... It's just that I'm still his girlfriend... I can't break up with him while he's still in England!" I told him, he frowned.

"I understand... I just-"

"Want to go on a date tonight?" I asked him, eating my words from the inside.

"Sure." He nods, then he smiles.

"But we have to keep it all a secret." I told him and he nods.

"I know you wouldn't want to be caught dead with-"

"No! It's just that we might hurt Gee or Nia in case they see us." I said.

"Ok, so... 7:30?" He asked, I nodded.

"I'll see you then." I told him, he walks his way outside. I take my bag with me as I follow outside, we go our separate ways as I went to Nia for some advice.