Love Among the Pizza Boxes

M’kay.
“Good morning, Alfredofred.”
I pull him out of the fridge and set him on the counter.
Then I grab the jug of apple juice and drink the remains of it right out of the bottle.
Alfredofred and I then go and sit on the couch. I flip the television on and Alfredofred rolls off the couch.
“Oops.”
Oh well.
He’s okay. Just a little bruised.
Anyways.
I’m on the news channel.
Well, not me. Like, I’m not on the news.
I’m watching the news.
There we go.
And they’re talking about mountain climbing. And the safety precautions that you need to follow when mountain climbing.
And mountain climbing leads me to thinking about camping. And then camping leads me to hiking.
And then I look out my window and look at the observatory. Which, obviously, leads me to think about Shayla.
Then those two trains of thought combine to create ‘Let’s go hiking with Shayla today.’
Alrighty then.
So I get into my car and begin driving to Shayla’s house.
Great.
I’m in the Pizza Hut car.
And what’s even better is that Alfredofred is with me.
Oops.
Well.
Anyways.
So now I’m almost to her house.
And Alfredofred is smiling smugly at me from the passengers’ seat.
Now, what am I going to say to her when I get there?
‘Hey, Shayla. Just came over to ask you to come hiking with me.’
… ‘Kay.
I guess that works.
Sounds a little impulsive.
But impulsive is good.
Right?
I heard from Tidus a long time ago that women think impulsive men are sexy.
So maybe she’ll think I’m sexy for asking her to go hiking with me.
What?
Shut up, Gary.
I’m at Shayla’s house now.
So I knock on the door a couple times.
I forgot to take Alfredofred out of the passengers’ seat.
Oh well.
It takes a while for her to answer.
And when she does she looks very disheveled.
She standing there in an oversized T-shirt with a stuffed iguana wrapped around her neck and she’s in pigtails.
“Mmm… Hello?” She squints her eyes and leans against the doorway.
I wave once. “Hey there, Shayla.”
Oops. Did I wake her up?
“Oh, hi. Hi, Riku.” She waves and then gives me a sleepy little smile.
“Sorry… Did I wake you up?”
Well, it’s pretty obvious that I did.
“… Oh no, no it’s fine. I needed to… I didn’t need to wake up but it’s nice to see you.”
That makes me smile.
“So… how long do you think it’ll take you to get dressed?”
Hmmm.
Sounds kinda weird.
“… Time. So why don’t you come in and have some coffee while I get ready, kay?... Oh yeah, and where are we going?”
“Hiking.”
“I like hiking.” She nods. “C’mon in. Make yourself at home.” She walks into her house.
I walk in after her.
She’s in the kitchen now, messing with her coffee pot. “Do you like coffee?” She calls to me.
“Coffee’s pretty cool.”
That’s great.
I always say cool.
I need a new adjective.
“What do you want in it? Cream, creamer, maybe a little sugar, sugar?” She’s leaning back against the counter, waggling her eyebrows.
I laugh.
Shut up, Gary –
“Do you have any honey?”
“… Honey… Hmmm…” And then she starts humming and shuffling through her cabinets. She kneels down to reach one of the lower cabinets and reveals her underwear unknowingly.
And I want to say something, I really do. Because that’s embarrassing.
At least, it would be for me if I was a girl and I was showing my underwear off to a guy unknowingly.
So I open my mouth to say something, because I don’t want her to be embarrassed, but Gary stops me.
He tells me not to say a thing.
So I don’t say anything.
“Found it!” She yells and jumps up with a dusty honey bear in her hands. And then she plunks the bottle down on the counter and starts to pour some coffee into a mug.
The mug says ‘#1 Dad’.
I raise my eyebrows at it and say nothing.
“Here. Come over and pour whatever you want. I’m gonna get dressed.” She motions for me to go to the counter.
I nod and do as I’m told.
Well this is going better than I’d planned.
To start off, she’d agreed to go hiking.
Then I got free coffee.
… Yup.
“Kay. See you,” she says and goes through one of the doors off the living room.
I wave after her and pour half the honey into my coffee.
A lot of people think I’m odd because I put honey in my coffee. But I like it.
And it’s healthier than sugar, too.
Not that I’m a health freak or anything, that’s just what I tell everyone.
So I sit on the counter next to the coffee pot and chug down the contents of the #1 Dad’s mug.
And then I begin to think about where we’ll be hiking.
Once again, I didn’t really plan things that far.
Great.
Think fast, Riku.
Where’ll you be hiking?
Maybe I’ll be inspired by something I see when we’re driving.
But which direction would we drive?
Uh……
Maybe I’ll take her out to the old island that Kairi, Sora and I used to play on when we were younger.
Yeah. That’d be cool.
I decide on that and nod to myself in satisfaction.
About ten minutes later Shayla came out.
I get off her kitchen counter because sitting on peoples’ counters is sometimes considered rude.
“Alright,” I say, and slap my hands on my thighs. “Ready to go?”
“You bet your boots. Just hold on a sec, okay?” She goes into the kitchen and grabs something. I get a better look at it as she turns back to me. It’s a granola bar.
Cool.
Cool beans.
What?
No.
No beans.
“I hope you don’t mind, but we’ll be driving around town in the Pizza mobile.”
Really?
Pizza mobile?
Like the Batmobile.
Because I’m now Pizzaman.
“Sexeh. Can’t be any worse than ‘Barbie’s dream car’ can it?”
I walk over to the front door and open it for her.
“You’d be surprised.”
And she will be very surprised to see that there is a pineapple waiting for her in the passengers’ seat.
I’m gonna have fun explaining that one.
She goes over to the Pizza mobile. “She’s a beauty.” She smirks. And then she opens the door, sees the pineapple. “Pineapple…?”
“Uh – yeah.” I scratch at the back of my neck as I come over to stand at the drivers’ seat door. I lean against the hood of the car. “Well. You see, it’s actually a pretty funny story…”
Then I laugh nervously and stop talking.
She rolls her eyes and picks up Alfredofred. She sits down in his place, buckles her seatbelt and sets him on her lap.
Well, at least she didn’t throw him out the door.
I might’ve cried.
What?
No.
No I wouldn’t’ve.
Because I ate the last one. So smashing it would be the same thing except less tasty.
I sit in the drivers’ seat and start the car.
After I back out of the driveway I gesture with one hand towards the pineapple in her lap.
“It, uh… His name is Alfredofred.”
Great….
Just great, Riku.
Alfredofred smiles an evil smug smile.
She nods slowly. “Well. Some people have cats, some people have Pineapples. Who am I to judge?... You know, he’s kind of a cute pineapple.”
“He’s a real handful, though.”
Okay.
That’s cool.
That’s real cool.
She laughs a little. Nods again. “So where are we hiking?”
“A little island I used to hang out on all the time with Sora and Kairi. We called it Destiny Islands.” I nod a little and point ahead, because we’re now driving in the direction of the shore. A little ways out in the water I can see the island.
It kinda looks like broccoli.
Alfredofred laughs at me.
But Shayla can’t hear him.
At least I hope she can’t.
Because it would be weird to have a laughing pineapple in my car.
“Great. Do we get to ride in a boat?” She looks genuinely excited.
I smile my stupid-ass smile that she likes and I nod.
“Yup. It’s a boat that I built a while ago. With the help of my dad and Sora.”
“Oh, how cute.” She grins.
I sorta laugh and continue driving.
We get there about two minutes later.
I get out of the car and try to get around the front of the car in time to open the door for Shayla, but she beat me to the punch.
Oh, well. Anyways.
“I like sand,” she says and smiles up at the sun.
I laugh and take her hand to lead her down to the dock where my boat is tied farthest from the land.
God, I haven’t done this in forever.
Rowed a boat, that is.
“Well. Here she is. The Excalibur.”
Yup.
That’s what I named the boat I made when I was, like, ten.
“Hi 'Cali,” she says and pats the boat and then climbs in.
I climb in after her and grab the oars.
Well. Here goes nothing.
Except maybe my dignity.
…………
Nope. No dignity lost today.
I remember how to row a boat.
Awesome sauce.
So we’re on the dock at Destiny Islands now.
So I help her out of the boat and tie it to the dock.
And I see that another boat is tied next to mine.
Great, Riku.
Way to be observant.
That’s just wonderful – Sora and Kairi are here, too.
“It’s so pretty,” Shayla says, spinning around in circles in the sand.
And that makes me smile.
And forget that Sora and Kairi are here, too.