Love Among the Pizza Boxes

“YES!” I scream the second I close the door and I leap through the air and land on my couch.
“God, yes!”
And then I jump off the couch and start to do a special little dance move in my socks on the hard-woods. “I love you lord! I do, I do, and I do!” And then I get an idea and run into my room and jump up on my bed.
I remove the crucifix above my headboard and lay down on my bed with it. And then I start chanting ‘thank you’ over and over again to it. And then I smooch the cross and throw my feet up in the air. “YES!”
And then I just lay on my bed and smile at the ceiling and pretend God’s there. He looks like Joe. And that makes me giggle. –Bimbo.
I think I laid on my bed for a half an hour just saying ‘thank you’ because boy am I in a good mood.
Nothing- absolutely nothing can bring me down now.
That’s when I get a really stupid and girly idea.
I climb off my bed and look under it.
And there is my un-used diary.
I sit on the edge of my bed and open the diary, there’s a pen already in it.
‘Shayla Eraqus’ over and over I print and then I try cursive and bubble letters and then I draw some hearts and flowers and smiley faces. I giggle a little.
What am I doing?
This is insane.
And then I start thinking about what I had thought earlier.
I had thought the ‘L’ word.
And maybe there was truth behind it.
I don’t know.
But I do… Sort of.
Maybe soon.
Yeah, soon.
All I know for sure now is that he makes me smile with all my might and he makes me happier than anyone ever has and I’m not sure why.
There are so many unknowns. – But that’s okay because… He’s mine.
And I get to keep him.
… That sounds creepy.
I’m not going to kill him and keep his dead body in my basement with my PS2.
I chuckle at the thought.
But then I picture him hanging from a noose in my basement and I quickly erase the image from my head.
“Oh, Riku,” I say aloud and then I take a big breath and everything is peachy keen.
-Then the doorbell rings.
Riku?
Maybe he left something.
So I get off my bed and leave the diary behind and I go into the living room.
I scan the couches for something he might’ve dropped. Seeing nothing I shrug and turn to the door.
Maybe he came back to say ‘bye’ again. Like that time in the car. I bite my lip and open the door.
-Oh look.
My personal hell.