Love Among the Pizza Boxes

Home again, home again, jiggidy jig.
When I got home I put on some socks. They’re purple with dinosaurs on them.
“Rawr,” I say to my socks and jump off my bed. And then I slip slide around on the wood floor.
Then I slide to the living room and then I stop and look at the fireplace.
My grandparents’ dog, Scooter, died right there in front of the hearth.
So much for the living room concept.
I stretch out on the couch and look at the ceiling.
Hm. Love.
What an interesting thing.
And then I fall asleep because I’m tired.
…
There’s a sudden knock on my door.
I sit up quickly. Quick like Nes-quik.
And then I rub my eyes.
Did someone really knock on my door?
There are a few more quick knocks and then the doorbell rings a bunch.
“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” I holler at the door.
I love the word holler.
As I go to the door I look at the clock. It’s 10:34.
Hey- Riku’s off work.
I open the door.
Hey look, it’s Riku.
He looks very panicked and out of breath.
“I lost Virginity.”
…
He…
He lost his virginity?
To who?!
I cluck my tongue.
“Uhm… Riku?” I try and keep my voice steady. “When did this happen? I don’t remember doing this!”
“What?” He looks genuinely confused.
“Riku. You just told me that you lost your virginity. And I don’t recall intercourse of any kind occurring. Pretty sure I would’ve remembered that.”
“What – oh.” He blinks. “No. Not my virginity.”
“… Then whose? Did you take someone’s virginity? Did you think you took mine?!”
“No, no, no!” He waves his hands around in front of him a couple times. “No, she’s not yours. Virginity. She’s my dog. She ran away and I need your help looking for her.”
He has a dog?
… Named Virginity?
“Okay. Let’s go?”
Question?
Okay.
“I probably should’ve told you she was my dog to begin with, to avoid any confusion.” He scratches at the back of his head and looks at his feet and his face is red.
“Uh- yeah. But let’s go look for… Virginity.”
…
The quest for restoring Virginity! Huzzah!
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
So we get outside, and I look around for his car.
It’s not there.
‘Kay. That’s cool.
“…You ran here?”
He ran here?
God. He must really want his Virginity back.
…
Hehe.
And he came to my door to get it back.
Well. You’re not getting it back. Mwahahahaha!
…No.
…
“Uh…. Yeah. Yeah, I did.” Riku scratches the back of his head again.
…Hmmm… I wonder if Riku’s still a virgin….?
…
No.
Not ‘no’ to my question because I wouldn’t know that.
“What kind of dog is she… Or he? He-she.”
He-she?
“…She’s a Chihuahua,” he says reluctantly. “The short-haired kind. And she’s tan. Like – the color. Not like, she suntans on my patio every day. And she’s got a dog tag. And it’s tied around her neck with a piece of yarn.”
He nods to himself after finishing his sentence.
He has a Chihuahua.
‘Kay.
“Alright. Well. Where have you checked so far?- And where did you lose her?”
Hehe. Where did you lose your Virginity, Riku?
…
No.
“Just in my house. I noticed she was gone and kinda freaked out. So, I’m assuming she escaped from my house. I, uh… I accidently left the patio door open this afternoon.”
“Well then. We should search around your apartment building because Chihuahuas often don’t get very far. And usually their first instinct is to hide. So we need to check under cars. My aunt lost her Chihuahua once.”
Funny. Her Chihuahua looked the same as his.
Riku nods. “Huh. Interesting.”
“Well. Let’s get a move on.” I start down my driveway. And then for fun I scream, “Virginity! Yoo hoo!”
Riku laughs once and pats my head. “Nice.”
What? He misses his dog so much he needs to pet me?
I roll my eyes. “Just checking to see if you’re just jerking my chain and she hitched a ride in your pants.”
Hehe.
Riku finds that especially hilarious and begins laughing a lot.
I roll my eyes again. I’ve been doing that a lot lately…
And then I tousle his hair. Ha. I pet you back.
“C’mon. We gots us a doggie on the loose.”
Riku nods. “Alrighty, let’s go.”
I nod back at him and we start to head over to his place yelling for Virginity along the way.