Love Among the Pizza Boxes

It’s probably 11:00 PM now.
Riku and I have been dancing for a long time.
Now a lot of people have gone home because the sky looks like rain.
I hope it rains.
That’d be cool.
I’d bet Riku looks really hot when he’s drenched…
…
Um.
Excuse me?
Okay.
That’s nice.
So we’re at the table again after another dancing session and then the sky breaks and the rain pours down on the tents.
Yes!
“Woo hoo!” I shout.
Riku laughs. “Woo hoo!” he shouts, too.
I laugh with him. “You want to go out there?” I motion to the ground where the tents aren’t covering it.
He smiles his crooked smile and nods. “Let’s do it.”
“Woo hoo!” I shout again. And then I stand up. “Ready?” We have a straight shot out into the rain.
He nods. “Ready.”
“Hold my hand so I’ll be sure you don’t chicken out on me.”
…Among other things.
So he takes my hand up in his.
And without a countdown I just run out with Riku.
Man, it’s cold.
So naturally I scream because it’s cold.
Riku laughs a shaky laugh, because he’s cold, too.
I’m pretty sure I’m soaked now.
Because Riku is.
…
I was right about him looking hot when drenched.
Oh, dang.
I grin at him despite my chattering teeth.
He smiles back. “You’re soaked,” he says. And he ruffles my wet hair.
“You too.” And then I look down at the muddied ground.
My skirt’s brown on the ends.
Stupid mud.
I have to do laundry.
At least my shirt’s fine- though a little see-through at this point.
Oh well.
Riku’s seen my bra before.
“We should go…” But I don’t move.
It’s kinda nice out here, really.
Riku nods in agreement, but stays put as well.
Eventually he takes my hand and we walk back to his car.
I’m dripping on his seats.
Sorry.
“…I’m wet.”
Sorry, again.
Riku nods and starts the car. “Me too.”
So for the car ride I stare out the window.
And I think about prom movies.
And how even if it’s a zombie prom movie, somebody always makes out in the car.
And then they get eaten or punched or something.
I’ve never made out in a car before.
“Sorry I’m getting your car wet,” I say to fill in one of the ongoing silences.
Riku shrugs. “I’m getting my car wet, too. It’s all good. It’ll dry eventually.”
“Okay.” I look at my shoes in my hand. They’re wet too.
I look at the time. It’s a little after midnight.
I was wrong about it being eleven.
Oh well.
So I just watch the light poles go by, occasionally glancing at Riku.
He really is very pretty.
How he finds me attractive, I have no idea.
I’ve been called ugly a few times, so I dunno.
I guess I just lucked out big time.
I’ll have pretty babies now.
…
Um…
I’m going to pretend I didn’t say that.
I peek over at Riku again to picture him as a baby.
He catches my eye, because he was glancing over at me, too.
Oh. Hi.
My mind is blank.
…
…
…
Riku blinks once and smiles. “Hi.”
…
…
…
I blink.
He shakes his head and looks back at the road.
He’s chuckling quietly.
Crap, he’s gorgeous.
Holy mother of God.
I really hope I’m not staring at him.
…
But I am.
I look away from his face.
Stare at his hands on the steering wheel.
Imagine those hands on something else doing something completely different-
Oh God no!
I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen.
But I can’t because it’s still in my head and I kinda like it.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Oh, no.
We’re in the driveway now.
Riku gets out and comes around the car and opens the door for me.
“…Thank you…” I say quietly, not looking at him for fear that the naughty images will come back and I step out of the car.
Riku closes the car door.
Then we walk up to my front door.
Well.
Here we are again.
Having to say goodbye because I’m pretty sure Riku has to let his Virginity out.
Hehe…
Can’t he just let it out here?
Oh no.
No no no no no no.
She’s a dog.
And she’s a cute dog.
And we call her Ginny.
Yep.
That’s all.
“Well…”
“Well…” Riku says. “I had a nice time.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
I nod.
Yes. I did have a nice time.
I had a nice time feeling you up.
What?
I didn’t do that.
Well sort of.
But it was harmless, right?
It was dancing.
Slightly dirty dancing.
I like that movie.
‘Dirty Dancing’.
Oh lover boy…
Riku nods too. “So, uh…”
“I’ll be seeing you, yeah?”
No. Of course not.
He’s just going to go poof and will never come back.
Pssht.
“Yeah, be seein’ you.”
But he doesn’t go anywhere.
Oh, goodbyes.
Oh, sexual tension.
God love it.
“Um…”
So intelligent, hun.
He takes a deep breath.
And then he breathes out noisily.
“…Yup.”
My tummy kind of hurts now.
Stupid enchiladas.
I shouldn’t have eaten so much.
I sit down on my front step.
He waits a second.
Then he sits down with me.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” I say.
And then I feel around for his hand. And I hold it.
He smiles softly.
I smile back at him and then I look at the ground.
It’s a little cold out.
Every part of me is cold except for my hand.
I shiver. “…Touch me,” I say.
“But I…” His gaze flickers to our hands. Then he looks back at me. “… am.”
I look him in the eyes. “No. Really touch me,” I whisper.
He brings his other hand up slowly to the side of my face. And he strokes my cheekbone with his thumb.
I hold his hand to my cheek and memorize the warmth pulsing through me. I bite my lip and close my eyes for a brief moment and watch the night sky light up from behind them. I open my eyes and I just see Riku.
I see his eyes, that miraculous color of the sea, his nose and cheeks, damp with rain. And his lips, gracefully supple, breathing in the moonlight.
Riku examines my face for a moment, like he was committing it to memory. His eyes stop of my lips for a brief moment, then his eyes meet mine. And he leans forward slowly, closing the space between us.
He takes a deep breath in when our noses touch. Then his chin tilts forward slightly and he’s kissing me.
The spark.
Isn’t that what they call it?
Well. It’s pretty appropriate.
His hand’s still on my face, but the other has let go of my hand.
So I’ve got a free hand to do whatever I wish with.
So I let it dangle at my side because the spark is like sticking a fork in an outlet- but in a good way.
And then I feel his other hand on my face, too.
And then I sense myself easing closer to him, or maybe it’s him getting closer to me.
I bring my other hand to the back of his head, curling my fingers around his hair.
It’s getting kind of awkward turning like this so I situate my legs on either side of Riku’s hips.
It feels weird. But a good weird.
In fact, it feels pretty good.
Ummm…
I should probably breathe.
So I do.
It sounds harsh in the night.
Riku laughs breathily.
I don’t know what he finds funny.
I don’t think he does, either.
So I shut him up.
His hands are at my waist now, his fingers massaging tight little circles.
A funny little sound rises between us.
Did I just moan?
Oh God, I did.
So I make that funny little sound again and put my other hand in his hair, pressing him closer to me.
I’m not really thinking much anymore.
That can’t be good.
All I seem to be thinking now is, ‘closer’. How do I get any closer to him than I am now?
…
No.
No no no no no.
Why is it hard to say ‘no’, I wonder.
I pull back from Riku. “Not tonight.”
He just sits there and breathes and doesn’t respond.
The words burn inside me. ‘Come in with me.’
But I’m not going to say that.
I look down at myself and shake my head.
What am I doing?
I look like such a fool.
I climb off of Riku.
And then I just stand there.
Riku’s still sitting. “Are you still a virgin?”
I’m filled with a cold feeling.
Is that what someone can call dread?
I take in a shallow breath. “I…I…” I sigh. “No.” My voice cracked.
“Oh.” Riku sighs, too. He stands up. “Uh… Sorry.” He scratches the back of his neck. “For uh, asking, I mean.”
“Yeah…” I look down at the ground.
I didn’t want him to know this.
Because I really wish it wasn’t true.
“…You should go now.”
I didn’t want to say that.
But I did.
“Uh… Yeah…” He sort of hangs his head and walks slowly over to his car.
I watch him leave.
And I sigh as his car disappears.
And I go inside and wish tonight was all a dream.