Love Among the Pizza Boxes

“Zermi-ine…” I poke her cheek.
She’s asleep on my couch again.
She head buts me out of her slumber.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I’m sitting on the floor now and Zermine’s smiling over me. “What do you have in there?” I point to her head while rubbing my own with my other hand. “Books?”
“You got it, baby,” Zermine replies and stands up, stretches.
“We’re going out,” I tell her, getting to by feet, still massaging my poor scalp.
“Ooh! Where?” Zermine hops up and down, sending tremors through the floorboards like we’re right on the San Andreas Fault.
“Chili’s. You’re going to meet a friend of Riku’s.”
Zermine grins slyly.
“What?”
“He was in your bed last night.”
“So what?”
Zermine just starts humming.
How mature.
Then that makes me think about her behavior last night.
That was not cool.
“Hey- What was up last night?” I try and sound stern.
“Huh?” Zermine gives me a look that says, ‘Who, me?’
“Yeah. I mean you. You were being… What was your problem?”
“Oh…”
Ha. That’s right.
I got you now.
“I was testing him,” Zermine says.
Test? You’re not in college anymore.
“Why?”
“Because. If he really likes you, he can endure this.” She points to herself and smiles.
“You are so twisted.” I shake my head and turn around. “C’mon. Let’s fix your hair.”
Zermine walks up to my side. “Are you saying somethin’?” She looks down at me.
“Yep,” I say back and grab her wrist and we trudge into the bathroom.
I pull Zermine in front of the mirror and I grab a hairbrush.
“I can brush my hair by myself,” Zermine protests.
“No you can’t.” And then I start working the snarls out of her fine, pitch black hair.
I come upon something towards the back of her neck. “What is that?”
Zermine shrugs.
I take a closer look. It’s a wrapper wedged into a tangle in her hair.
I pick it out and squint to see what the words say on part of the remaining packaging.
Then I come to a horrific conclusion. “...Zermine?”
“Yep?”
“…Why do you have a condom wrapper in your hair?”
…
“Oh. Well I was savin’ it for later.”
Saving it for later.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
So I shake my head and blink a ton.
Right.
Cool.
Awesome.
Super.
Then I finish brushing her hair and I shoo Zermine out of the bathroom. “Go find a dress or something,” I tell her as she closes the door.
So then I get to work on my own appearance and when I’m satisfied with that I go into the living room to find that Zermine is dressed dutifully in a purple sundress, bringing out her oddly green colored eyes.
I smile at Zermine. “Thank you.”
“Sure, chief.” She salutes me and I go into my bedroom.
I open my closet and I kick around in the piled up clothes and then I find a pretty little white dress that I used to wear to communion. I think I might wear this one.
So I tug it out of the pile and I slip it on and then I look around for some shoes.
Shoes…
One shoe, two shoes, red shoe, blue shoe.
I find a pair of flip flops- but not the ones I squished that poor frog with.
So then I go into the living room again, inaccurately reciting Dr. Seuss to myself.
“You ready?”
Zermine stands up. “Yup.”
I catch a glance at the clock as we leave. It’s 1:50 PM.
I hope we’re not late.