Love Among the Pizza Boxes

“So what’s she like?”
I sigh.
That’s the third time he’s asked me about her since we’ve been sitting at this table.
And we’ve only been here a good three minutes.
So we’re at a booth in Chili’s, waiting for Shayla and Zermine.
I’m slowly sinking in my seat because I’m slouching.
Wakka’s sitting across from me, leaning up against the table and doing a number on the tortilla chips and salsa the waitress had given us when we sat down.
“She, uh…” I begin. But I stop.
I can’t think of anything to say.
“She really knows how to party,” I say after a little while, and I nod and grimace and hope Wakka doesn’t ask me anything more.
A sly grin creeps across Wakka’s face and he licks salsa from the corner of his mouth.
I groan and run a hand down my face and look at the door, which I can see from here.
And then I look at the clock on the wall across from us.
It’s 1:55.
Five more minutes of torture.
I sigh again and look around.
At the bar is a blonde guy with his hair slicked back.
He’s got an apron on that’s folded over at the waist.
He has a hook nose and he looks like he’s just smelled something awful.
He’s frowning.
I look around some more.
Some chick with piercings on every part of her body.
A lady with a huge hat. There’s a feather in the hat. And it’s purple. And she’s laughing really loudly and obnoxiously and she’s slapping the table in front of her. She sounds like a parrot in distress.
I look back over at the bar.
The guy with the hook nose is flirting with a biker dude sitting at the bar.
I turn my attention back to the chips and salsa.
But I’m met with empty bowls.
“You ate them all already?” I ask Wakka with another sigh.
Wakka grins guiltily at me and shrugs.
I sigh for the fifteenth time since we got here and I wait.
Then Wakka shifts around on the booth. “Is that them?”
I look back and low and behold Shayla and Zermine are standing at the door. Shayla’s on her toes, looking for Wakka and me. And then Zermine is just staring at the Guinness sign above the bar.
Then Shayla spots us and smiles right at me. She turns back to Zermine, says something to her and they start walking over to the table.
“Yup, that’s them.”
Thank the Lord they’re here.
I scoot myself out of the booth and Wakka does the same as they near our table.
“Hey, Shayla,” I say, and smile at her.
“Hi.” She smiles back. “So…”
Zermine steps up. “Zermine,” she says and holds out her hand to Wakka.
There’s a funny look in Wakka’s eye. He shakes her hand and introduces himself, too.
Then we all sit down again.
And there’s silence until Zermine speaks up. “So how old are you?” she asks Wakka.
“Eighteen,” he replies in his Jamaican accent.
“Oooh. I like ‘em young.” She flicks his nose and scoots just a little closer to him in the booth. “I like your accent.”
Wakka’s smiling that sly smile again. And then his eyes widen noticeably as Zermine’s arm shifts slightly under the booth.
Aw, God.
I occupy myself with the empty chip basket.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Zermine says to Wakka in a low voice and then she gets out of the booth with Wakka in tow.
Aw, God.
I watch them leave with my eyebrows raised.
“Uh.”
Shayla’s watching them too with a horrified look on her face.
“Um…”
“Oh my God…” Shayla withers onto the table with her head in her hands.
I’m honestly not surprised.
I almost expected this from Wakka.
And Zermine.
They’re perfect for each other.
I sigh.
“So…” And I would’ve continued. But I see a crowd of disgusted women walking by, coming from the direction Wakka and Zermine just went.
Aw, God.
“Noooooo…” Shayla moans into the table.
I run a hand down my face.
Shayla sits up slowly and then slumps down. “I am so embarrassed right now.”
I don’t really know what to do.
So I just try to be comforting as I pat her back a couple times.
Shayla sighs. “Well. You were right. They really hit it off- Oh God, that’s so appropriate. Ew…”
I scratch my eyebrow and clear my throat. “Uh.”
Shayla takes in a deep breath. “So. Who’s hungry?” She claps her hands and then rubs them together.
Right on cue the waitress from earlier pops up out of nowhere. “Did I hear the word ‘hungry’?” she asks us in an infinitely chirpy voice, her pen poised at the ready over her notepad.
God, that’s creepy.
“Uh…” My eyes travel from the waitress’s twitching smile to Shayla and back. “Yeah…?”
“Well, what’re we all hungry for?” the waitress asks, still quite chipper.
“Uh-Um… Could we look at the menu for a little while longer, please?” Shayla says to the waitress, then looks at me.
The waitress bobs her head really fast. Some of her hair falls out of the high bun it’s in. “Of course! Take as long as you need.” She smiles some more. Her eye twitches once.
“Uh.” Shayla shifts her eyes from side to side. “Thanks.”
Nod, nod, nod goes the waitress. Then she bounces off.
God, she’s creepy.
“Hop, hop, hop down the bunny trail,” Shayla sighs.
I blink once.
Then I look down at the menu.