Love Among the Pizza Boxes

There’s muffled sounds coming from above me.
Going in.
And out.
Like a wave.
First loud, almost like words.
And then they fade. Fade to static.
But then the words become clear and they penetrate the darkness.
“…Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”
My eyes open with slow uncertainty. It’s like a camera shot when a patient is waking up in a doctor show. The ceiling is fuzzy at first and then it comes into focus.
But then a dark head shoots into view.
I hold up my hands protectively and my head pounds something wicked.
But then hands gently tug my arms to my sides.
“You!” I shout accusingly.
“Me!” Zermine shouts proudly and stands up so I can’t see her anymore.
I toss my head to the side in annoyance to see her with her hands on her hips like Wonder Woman and her head thrown back.
“Ugh…” I put my fingers to my temples and sit up a little on the couch. “…What… Did you hit me with, Zermine?”
Silence.
“… Baseball bat.”
“Shit!”
“What?!”
“Why?!”
I’m standing up now.
Nope.
Going down.
My heeeeaaaaad.
Swimmy, swim, swim.
“Boredom?”
“…That,” I say, cradling my head in my hands. “Is not a good excuse.”
“Hallucinogens?”
“Zermine…?”
“Yup?”
“You are the single most idiotic person I have ever met.”
“…I think I’ll take that as a compliment.” She grabs my arm with one of her fly-swatter-hands and drags me up like a rag doll. “C’mon. Take me out. I’m hungry.”
Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
“Zermine?”
“Yup?”
“I’m going to give you ten seconds.”
“…For what?”
“A head start before I come after you with the neighbor’s chainsaw.”